There's some movies that we've loved, but once we look back at them, we wonder what on earth were we thinking? And it's even worse when the movie we loved was made into a franchise from a book series and not only did we own all of the books, but we have every single movie. Maybe we're talking about ourselves here or maybe we're not. We'll never tell.
Anyway, now might be the perfect time to go back and watch the Twilight movies because there are just so many things that we notice now that we are in desperate need to discuss. So, without further adieu, if you want help making sense of all of those little things that may have bugged you along the way, here are 18 times Twilight made no sense!
18 How is everyone so unaware of both the vampires and werewolves being in their town?
Let's bring things back to basics for a moment and think about the very spine of most stories—where they take place. More often than not, it becomes like a character all on its own because so much of what happens in the story is flushed out through the surroundings.
For the characters on the periphery in the Twilight franchise, like Bella's dad Charlie, they truly have no idea that their town plays host to a family of vampires. Oh, and there's also a whole pack of werewolves nearby as well. But this seems to go right over everyone's heads for some reason.
What we've never been able to understand is how all the residents of Forks have no idea that any of this stuff is going on right under their noses. If we think about the plot of the movies, even starting in the first one, there's nothing but mysterious disappearances going on and nobody is none the wiser. We'll always wonder if we're supposed to believe that it's just human nature and people tend to be totally oblivious to things that don't directly involve them or are the people in Forks just plain stupid? I guess all these years later, we'll never know.
17 Seriously, what's with the sparkling?
Let's all go back to that iconic moment (OK, not really, but go with us on this) in the first Twilight film where Bella is just learning that the mysterious Edward is a vampire. Amid her suspicions that something was a bit off with him, he then takes her up into the cloud break where it is revealed that his skin sparkles in the sunlight.
We never really understood why this was a thing, though. We totally get that throughout history in literature, vampires were typically supposed to be extra beautiful to those who come across them so as to lure their prey into submission, but having skin that sparkles like diamonds? It was fairly unheard of before Twilight made it a thing.
Also, just have a look at Edward's face in the above photos. If we remember in the movie, when he shows Bella what the deal is with his shimmery skin, he comes off as extra disgusted by himself. Living in the year 2018, we can't help but think about all of the ladies out there who would give their left arm to have that kind of highlight! Truly, the envy is real.
16 Why was Bella such a pro at being a newborn vamp?
If there's one thing you might remember about all of the Cullens and when they talk about how it can feel to be a "newborn" vampire, they basically made it seem like you either need to move to an abandoned commune in the country or you need to be put in some kind of prison cell. Either way, the outcome of being around humans when you're a newborn vampire in this particular setting did not seem like the soundest of ideas.
But for some reason, Bella inexplicably has no problem when she becomes a vampire. She's as steady and calm as they come. It really doesn't make any sense.
But yet again, our girl Bella seems to come out on the other side of things fairly unscathed. You would think that since they gave her what seemed like one of the most traumatic pregnancies with a vampire baby, she might experience a bit of trouble making that transition, but nope. Of course, she's got nothing but gorgeous skin and hair for days, and has absolutely no qualms about accidentally attacking any humans who come around. All is peachy for vampire Bella and we could never quite figure out where she got off being all perfect, but that's just how they did it.
15 Apparently, Edward can't deal with Bella's scent, yet he marries her...?
It's a tale as old as time really. Boy meets girl. They flirt a little from afar, but when boy gets a little closer, he realizes that his vampire spidey senses can't quite handle her particular human stench, so boy gets a little mean and standoffish. But, as it happens way back in the second grade, unfortunately we all know that if a boy is mean to you, what it could mean is that they really like you. And yes, it's totally screwed up, but still turns out to be true half of the time.
That leads us to thing we've never really fully understood about Twilight and the whole basis for how the story starts. Apparently, Edward can't stand Bella's scent to the point of taking time off school to feed and get away from her. And yet, this also becomes the girl who he decides to embark on a relationship with, marry and then live with. Let's really think about that for a second. If you were a vampire who was drawn to humans by their scent and you happened to come across one in particular that drove you wild, is that the one you would choose to be with for all of eternity? Maybe not the most practical idea.
14 Edward's big plan to expose himself in Volturra
Who here remembers the second installment in the Twilight series, entitled New Moon? If you remember anything about it, it's probably one of two things. Firstly, it's that it's the movie in which things get super melancholic for about an hour when Edward leaves Bella. Seriously, you would have thought someone ran over her cat and told her there will be no more Real Housewives on television anymore.
The other thing you might recall about New Moon is that Edward's big plan for his demise is to expose his glittery self in public in Volturra.
From what we could tell when Edward was laying in the sunlight with Bella in the first movie, his glittery body isn't really something anyone would look at and immediately figure out that he's a bloody thirsty vampire. If anything, they would probably look over at him and be super envious of his body glitter and highlight because we all know that nowadays that's all anyone ever thinks about. Also, they might be a little alarmed at just how pale he was looking whilst on vacation, but other than that, we're pretty sure it wouldn't have been the life-altering huge deal that he was planning on.
13 Why was Bella's little paper cut the big thing that pushed Edward away?
We're sure we can't be the first people to make this point, but we never really fully understood why this incident became the biggest deal. Bella gets a paper cut at a Cullen family party and Jasper has a very vampire-like reaction to it (i.e. he almost attacks her), which is the push Edward needs to walk away from Bella. In terms of what the two come up against throughout the course of their relationship and the whole film series, we have to say that Jasper not being able to control himself for a moment seems pretty measly.
From the first film, you have James the tracker who is totally blood-thirsty and looking to make a point. Then, you have his scorned girlfriend who comes back in New Moon and Eclipse, on a mission to get revenge. Then, you have all that weird and unsavory Volturri business when they discover a human knows their goings-on and may or may not be turned into one of them.
When you really step back and look at all of those hardships and dangerous people in their way, Jasper having a momentary lack of control on a single occasion doesn't really add up too much, now does it?
12 For real, though—how did Bella get pregnant?
One thing that has plagued us for quite some time now is trying to figure out just how it is that the very human Bella got pregnant with a vampire's baby. It's not a mystery how biology and human anatomy works. We're just confused about how this situation could be so rare that they've never heard about it. There's no way only a handful of vampires have ever fallen in love with humans (in the made up fictional Twilight universe, of course).
We get that one of the points of the series is to highlight how special Bella is (a debate for another day), but we're pretty sure if this was possible, it would've been more commonplace.
Looking at how intense and generally horrifying the pregnancy was on Bella's body, it didn't appear that it was something that was supposed to happen and yet it does in the movie. We're just not sure we'll ever fully comprehend why this happened to Bella specifically and why this seemed to be such a rare occurrence that they had no idea how to make sure she survived. If anyone out there knows otherwise, please hit us up with this info!
11 In this day in age, are we actually supposed to love a stalker?
In this day in age, with everything from being able to tell exactly when your last text message was read to finding someone's location on Snapchat, you might think that the world is OK with being a little stalked. Allowing someone into your life is one thing, but them invading your privacy is entirely different.
In the Twilight movies, technology and all those things that help an online stalker do their thing was never really discussed at length—minus Bella repeatedly sending Alice emails that always bounced back to her in New Moon. But maybe it didn't need to go there because it was so good at establishing the two protagonists as stalkers the old-fashioned way—in the flesh.
If you remember correctly, Bella and Edward had their eyes on one another before they even uttered a word each other. And once things started for them, he would actually come into her room at night and watch her sleep. Uh, can you just take a second to acknowledge how creepy that is? For Bella, after Edward and the Cullens leave town in New Moon, there were the incessant emails to Alice and she also started having weird psychological spells of trying to see Edward by doing something dangerous (i.e. riding motorcycles).
All in all, we're not fully convinced that two attractive young people would be super into all this stalker-like behavior, but hey—what do we know?
10 Sorry, but you're not a vegetarian if you feast on animals!
One thing that the Cullens make very clear throughout the Twilight films is that they wish to live among normal town folk as (relatively) regular people, so they choose not to feed off humans. That sentiment is all well and good, but in the first film, Edward actually calls them "vegetarians" as they live off the blood of animals instead.
Maybe it wasn't as fashionable 10 years ago when the first Twilight movie came onto the scene to know about all these different diet plan options, but we're pretty sure that drinking the blood of animals does not equal vegetarianism.
We get that they wanted to do a cute little play on words here. Maybe in their minds by giving up the blood of humans, they actually do think it qualifies them to categorize themselves as "vegetarians," but we just can't let go of how it all makes no sense. You're still taking blood from a living thing. To a lot of people, animals can often be that much more sacred than humans, so there's another strike for the Cullen clan. Since blood only comes from living things, they can never be real "vegetarians," meaning they should've come up with a better term for their dietary preferences.
9 Suddenly, for the last movie, Alice's visions can include werewolves?
If there's one thing any true Twilight fan remembers about the character of Alice besides her cute pixie haircut, it's that her vampire special power was the ability to see the future. With Jasper having the ability to sway people's emotions and Edward being able to read people's minds (with the exception of Bella), Alice's abilities always seemed to us to be the most useful.
If you go back to New Moon, you realize a blindspot in Alice's powers is that she "can't see past" the werewolves when they're in the mix. So, her visions become all askew and inaccurate when looking to someone's future if there's any kind of werewolf involvement.
For example, MTV noticed that specifically in New Moon, after Bella had her little cliff jumping fiasco and Jacob rescued her, Alice rushed back into town because she didn't see the part that included Bella being perfectly fine because a werewolf was involved. But jump to Breaking Dawn: Part One and suddenly Alice can make out her predictions involving the Volturri and all their other vamp friends as well as the werewolves.
So, we'd have to say that maybe it was all a matter of convenience for the story because the continuity there just doesn't quite add up.
8 Jasper's reaction to Bella's blood is completely situational
Let's all think back to the first Twilight movie for a second. Who here remembers the big plot point that involved one of the rogue vampires becoming obsessed with tracking Bella and hunting her down for pure sport? Furthermore, their little game of cat and mouse played out in the end with James luring Bella to her childhood dance studio and the Cullens making an unexpected entrance in order to save her.
Cut to the climax of that first movie when Bella has been bitten and injured by James.
You know what else Bella is surrounded by in that moment? The Cullen clan, including Jasper. Sure, he might be a little busy dealing with James, but when you think to his reaction to a tiny little drop of blood in New Moon, which causes a level five freak out, versus what happens here, it just doesn't add up.
Continuity is a thing, guys. Even in silly little movies like Twilight, it should matter and work to add up in a logical way. That goes for serious dramas, as well as movies dealing with vampires and the pale brunette teen girl a vampire falls in love with.
7 Edward and his "siblings" abandoned school for months, yet are still able to graduate?
If we go to Breaking Dawn — Part 1, we witness the beautiful wedding that took place in the Cullens' backyard. Gorgeous flowers just dripping from every surface imaginable and Bella looking beautiful in her dress.
Prior to the ceremony, you may remember that moment in the Cullen mansion when Bella's parents are having a look around and come across the art piece in which everyone's graduation caps from over the years is displayed. Her mom, Renée, admires it to a certain degree, while Charlie remarks on how "weird" actually having something like that is. We'd have to side with Charlie on this one.
And not for the fact that we don't agree with this kind of artistic expression, but purely due to the fact that this was also a family who abandoned the town of Forks for months and yet, they were all able to graduate with full credits? We've all been to high school and one thing that sticks out strongly in our memory is that truancy is very harshly frowned upon and is pretty much strictly contingent with being able to graduate. So, we call your bluff here, Twilight. In order to graduate, you have to attend school, which is something that didn't seem like top priority for this gang of vampires.
6 Speaking of which, why did they even choose to go to school?
So, we're not going to sit here and tell you that there is no good that comes from getting an education because that's just not true. Not only is going to school as a minor legally required, but if you seek an education post high school, then you'll have to actually finish high school and do it in good standing. Then, you can go onto college and become a success. Or maybe you'll just spend those four years eating all the pizza and beer that's humanly acceptable and making out with your T.A. after Psych class. It's your choice.
One thing that was always hard to grasp about the Cullens was why they would choose to go to school when they didn't have to?
There's something to be said for the patriarch Dr. Cullen as he chose be a doctor and help people, but even if you looked young for your whole life, there are so many things you could choose to do. At the very least, pretend to be college age so you could actually move to interesting schools and do cool internships and really experience life. Seriously, of all the places to choose to go back to time and time again, we're pretty sure that the majority of us wouldn't pick high school.
5 Does anyone remember Edward wearing sunglasses outside? Something's fishy here...
Let's all remember that moment in the woods when Edward grabs Bella's hand and pulls her over his shoulder to take her to a nice and sunny spot where he reveals his sparkling skin in the sunlight. Now that Twilight is something we look back on as opposed to it being current and new, it might be a moment for a lot of us that makes us go, "Really? Okay... but who cares?" But in the movie, Edward portrays it as this huge secret that they all have to hide or else they'll immediately be found out and all hell will break loose.
We're not sure why we didn't pick up on this before, but thanks to Buzzfeed, it's all we can think about at the moment. When Bella and Edward make their first big official entrance at school as couple about midway through the first film, they're both kind of assessing what's going on with everyone around them and who's watching them walk into school together. But, what we failed to really think about was how Edward is sporting a pair of sunglasses through out this whole exchange, which should signify that it's sunny outside. Yet, he's not sparkling one little bit. Seriously, try and connect those dots for a second and tell us that you don't want to pull your hair out!
4 What the heck is the whole imprinting thing, anyway?
Chances are if you were a part of the whole Twilight phenomenon when it was happening, you picked your side and were happily either "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob." For all those years, you had your list going in your head and felt the need to bring it up in everyday conversation in order to get that extra jab in at someone who had the opposite opinion.
As the story progressed and the whole imprinting thing was introduced, it was revealed that Jacob and Bella never stood a chance. That's because he was fated to be with her daughter.
Yes, you read that correctly. Due to this whole imprinting business, which the Twilight Wikia page describes as "profound, intimate phenomenon that exists among the Quileute shape-shifters," Jacob made a supernatural connection with an infant. Basically, from what we've gathered, it's kind of like finding your soulmate, but more so in a way that you become "whatever she needs you to be"—"a protector, or a lover, or a friend." So, for Bella and Edward's daughter Renesmee to imprint on Jacob in the last movie, we were still freaked out. She was barely out of the womb and already had a soulmate? That should've bothered us more back then.
3 Why would a 100-year-old vampire be attracted to a teen girl?
Let's really think about this notion for a moment. Even though Edward looks 17 years old (although, let's just admit that Robert Pattinson did not look 17 in the movies), he's still around 100 years old when he meets Bella. It just doesn't make any sense for him to be attracted to a teenage girl.
If you'd been around for that amount of time and traveled the world, we'd have to argue against the whole falling head over heels with someone Bella's age. She has very little life experience, to say the least. The most exciting she's done in her life is decide to move to Forks to live with her dad instead of sunny Florida with her mom. There's no establishment of any friends back home or past romances and the relationship she has with both of her parents seemed strained and uncomfortable.
We can admit that Bella is an attractive girl, but to someone with all those years behind them? It's actually kind of creepy to think about someone of his age and life experience being with a teenage girl who's technically a minor. Yeah, we're gonna stop here with this one because it's actually making us super uncomfortable now.
2 Why is Charlie so OK with everything that happens?
For the journey that protagonist Bella ends up going through, it's really a wonder that the protective dad you meet at the beginning of the film series is really the same guy we see at the end of it all. We all remember what a hard time he gave Edward when Bella was going to join the Cullens for a game of baseball. Or how awkward he made things for Bella when Edward picked her up for prom in the first Twilight movie.
But when his only daughter runs off to get married at age 18, gets horribly sick on her honeymoon, then turns up with a mysterious child and a completely new face, he somehow seems to be pretty cool with it all.
Among all this weird chaos too, Jacob finally reveals himself to Charlie as a werewolf, so in the end, he is privy to a lot of the supernatural occurrences happening in the little town of Forks. We get that there's only so much a parent can do when their child turns 18, but to also be an officer of the law who's supposed to have a gut instinct about these things, he turns out to be pretty oblivious in the end. To say we expected a lot more out of Charlie would be an understatement.
1 Why is every guy in the movie in love with boring Bella?
We all remember what it can be like in high school when a new kid comes onto the scene and all of a sudden everyone's in a tizzy and can't stop talking about them. We've all been there, done that and don't care to go back to that period in our life anytime soon because it's really only the allure of something new and shiny that attracts people in the first place.
So, to a certain extent, we get that the teenage boys at Bella's school are curious about her at first, but the movies really make a point to show that just about every guy in a 100-mile radius makes eyes at her in a serious way.
That concept right there makes us lose even more faith in humanity (as well as the screenwriter and director and actors too) because Bella is just so boring. She's extremely antisocial and not particularly nice to the other kids at school and basically makes no effort with anyone besides Edward. We all know that one thing almost every teen male possesses is an ego of sorts, so we're pretty sure their heads would have turned immediately once they got a whiff of her general 'tude.