Despite the major fast food chains being huge international corporations making billions of dollars a year—they are still ultimately just made of people. And some of those people are super salty, just like their food offerings. These people aren’t afraid to throw a little shade or deliver a searing burn when the times call for it.
Back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, the most common ways to make fun of competition was by short taunts on their marquee below the signs. It was the original fast food Twitter account; whatever someone could spell out with those plastic letters on a ladder by hand was fair game.
Though those sign messages still exist, nowadays, methods of casting shade are more sophisticated. Social media accounts are staffed by hilarious fast food PR folk, who engage with their fans 24/7. They fancy themselves comedians…and honestly, that’s not too far from the truth.
18 Sit down, grandpa
One look at Taco Bell’s Twitter account should let us know that they probably have a team of writers and comedians ready to dispatch some snark if shade is thrown at them. So if somebody who is working for another company’s Twitter account and starts something, they'd better be prepared to finish it. These guys have instincts like a comic in a crowd playing whack-a-mole with hecklers.
The deodorant brand Old Spice, for reasons that totally escape us, decide they want to start something with team Taco Bell. Old Spice asks, “Why is it that ‘fire sauce’ isn’t made with real fire? Seems like false advertising.”
Now this is just a disingenuous statement. When someone says his or her mouth is on fire, everyone knows this is just a metaphor not to be taken literally. Similarly, “fire” is a common adjective to use for salsa or hot sauce that is especially spicy. Everyone knows this, Old Spice is just being a smarty-pants.
But Taco Bell shakes it off in stride by turning the tables and asking if their “deodorant made with really old spices?”
Gotcha there, Old Spice. They're a grandpa brand, who got caught trying to make a dad joke that’s two generations too late. Sit down, son.
17 Happy Halloween
Meanwhile, in the Queens borough of New York, Burger King decided to do something whimsical to poke fun at its competitor while dressing up in costume the whole time. And how, someone might ask, does one accomplish that?
Well, they draped the whole Burger King restaurant in a ghost costume, one of those giant sheets with eyeholes. Then they put the golden arches logo on the “face” of the costume. Get it?
It’s scary, because it’s a McDonald's ghost.
Instagram user shara1482 said, “This was epic! They had to take it down right way though lol.” Other users chimed in with their delight.
We’re not sure why they had to take down the “costume” right away, but we would imagine that McDonald’s corporate wasn’t too happy about the stunt, and we would guess they may have threatened Burger King with a trademark violation because of the golden arches. We don’t know that for sure, but if we were playing hardball, that’s what we would do.
Takes a lot of cajones to pull off a stunt like that! It’s all in good fun, McDonald's. Don’t get those white and red striped clown stockings in a twist.
16 Wendy’s epic sign battle
According to reddit user Alvaster, it all started when Pure Water Ice and Tea company posted a sign for a local coach to eat there to eat for free. Wendy’s, which was nearby and within site of Pure Water, posted a similar sign offering the coach to drink for free at Wendy’s. Thus the rivalry was born. Not pictured was Pure Water posting a sign that said, “Hey Wendy’s, that sign sure looks familiar.”
We only had room to post a few of these images, so let us recount the exchange.
WENDY’S: Something else is familiar. Our fresh, never frozen beef.
PURE WATER: You want beef Wendy’s? You got it.
WENDY’S: Anything you can brew we can brew better. Try our Fruitea Chillers
PURE WATER: You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, Wendy’s!
PURE WATER: Burgers aren’t the only thing that’s square at Wendy’s.
WENDY’S: Everyone knows Wendy’s squares up. You ain’t about that life.
PURE WATER: Good thing our tea is better than your sign game!
WENDY’S: Wendy’s parking only. Violators will be served Purewater.
PURE WATER: Harsh words coming from a red head with no soul.
WENDY’S: We got in trouble. Kids meal, $1.99 everyday.
Looks like Wendy’s corporate put the kibosh on the dueling signs. Fun while it lasted!
15 Christine Teigen vs. White Castle
Do supermodels really enjoy fast food, or is that all for show? Oh, we’re certain that they can’t make a habit out of it, but everyone, even supermodel Christine Teigen, gets a cheat day now and again. Teigen takes to Twitter and announces, “My last 100 mentions are people telling me about the new @tacobell breakfast menu. You get me.”
Though not explicitly invited to the conversation, White Castle decides to get into the game. Like a jealous suitor, White Castle counters, “Yet you neglect our tweets about delicious sliders. We see how where rank.”
Teigen replies, “Well, it’s a good ol fashioned showdown.”
White Castle, sensing an opening, moves in to close the deal. “All we have to say is, your an original cover model. We’re an original slider. It’s a match made in heaven.”
Out of nowhere, Taco Bell comes in and ruins it for White Castle by just pointing their grammatical error: “*You’re.”
D’oh. It’s kind of like when you’re talking to a hot girl at the club all night and some random swoops in at closing time and captures her attention, leaving you in the dust.
So, we’ve heard, anyway. That would never happen to us. Ahem.
14 Michael Jordan vs. Taco Bell
Michael Jordan has been around the block, most likely hovering in midair like he used to do on the basketball court, so we have a hard time believing he doesn’t know that Taco Bell doesn’t serve hot dogs. But he asks on Twitter anyways, “Do you guys have hot dogs over there?” Taco Bell replies, “No, we do not sell hot dogs.”
Jordan’s not satisfied with this answer and presses further, “Why not? Not even one wrapped in a tortilla?” We suppose that’s a reasonable request. Taco Bell started serving breakfast recently and added a bunch of new ingredients, so why not hot dogs?
None of their food is authentically Mexican anyway, so it’s not really like they are breaking any rules.
Taco Bell tries to compromise by suggesting, “You could order a tortilla at Taco Bell and then go home and cook a hot dog.”
Jordan’s not having it, and retorts, “that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard I think.”
Exasperated, Taco Bell scolds Jordan, saying, “Work with us, Michael.”
Yeah, Jordan! And why are you picking on the comedy staff over at Taco Bell? If you really want a Mexican hot dog place, you have more than enough resources to start your own, right? Until we see the line of “Air Taco” joints, then cool off, man!
13 I’m Queen Wendy, need I say mo’?
The mixtape drops now. Not pulling punches. We Beefin’. pic.twitter.com/H1Rm1ODYC4— Wendy's (@Wendys) March 23, 2018
How far will Wendy’s PR team go to diss on their competitors?
Far enough to hire a recording artist to come up with a five-song hip-hop album called “We Beefin?” In it, Wendy’s goes after her competitors with tracks like Twitter Fingers, Holding it Down, Rest in Grease, Clownin and 4 for $4. They’re actually selling these ads as purchasable songs on iTunes!
Our favorite track is “Rest in Grease” which goes after McDonald's:“You number 1? That’s a jokeWhy yo' ice cream machine always broke?Why yo' drive through always slow?Why yo' innovation just can’t grow?It's queen Wendy, need I say mo'?That Baconator go crazy, that spicy chicken go crazyYou can take a fry and dip it in the sauce, it still be so tastyThem lil tweets don't phase me, McDonald's be so lazyI know the reason you hatin' me 'cause I'm fast food's First LadyIt's queen Wendy up in this thangYou can't beat us serving them thangsY'all too chicken for this beefI'ma leave you resting in greaseNuggs for Carter, retweetBoy, you know you can't competeOn top of our game, man watch usSee its no stoppin' me”
Wendy’s, you’re on fire! As she later says in the track “Clownin"—“Won’t say no names but you a clown, get it, OK?”
12 KFC trolls everyone
the person that runs the KFC account needs a raise. I don't care how much they make now. GIVE THEM A RAISE.— Samantha O'Pumpkins (@sicklittlejag) October 19, 2017
KFC has a pretty active social media presence, but unlike other marketing channels from other fast food companies, they didn’t seem to be following many people themselves. In fact, their whole Twitter account has only been following 11 people since its inception.
It’s enough to make every Instagram and Twitter celebrity a little insecure. They’re thinking, “Why is KFC so snobby? Why aren’t they following me?”
The mystery deepened when you look exactly whom KFC is following: all five Spice Girls and six guys named Herb.
What the heck?
Finally, Twitter user @edgette22 figured it out. She exclaims, “Those 11 people? 5 Spice Girls and 6 guys named Herb. 11 Herbs & Spices. I need time to process this.” Blown away, Twitter user @sicklittlejag replies, “The person that runs the KFC account needs a raise. I don't care how much they make now. GIVE THEM A RAISE.”
What’s awesome about this inside joke is KFC was a real cool customer—they just waited until the fans figured it out. In the meantime, everyone thought KFC was just being stuck up and mysterious, which is kind of goes against the brand that brought you the KFC Famous Bowl and the $5 Fill Up Box.
The Colonel had the last laugh, and the fans had a serious face palm moment realizing the obvious joke had snuck right under their noses for months.
11 Get out
More than a few idiots have revealed the fact they are cheating on social media. It always surprises us that a forum meant for the public would seem like a private channel to some people, but there you have it.
Phillip Lester, whose Twitter handle is @AmazingPhil, announces jokingly, “Cheating on Dominoes with Pizza Hut.”
Eagle-eyed Dominoes must have people monitoring the interwebs like CIA spies, because about an hour later they replied, “@AmazingPhil I want your stuff packed and out by morning. Phillip, I thought you were different.”
The absurdity of it all is awesome—this idea of the entire fast food chain embodied by an actual person that Phillip has been having a casual relationship with. We suppose that it’s better that Dominoes discovers the infidelity now rather than when it gets too serious. How crushing would it be to find all those Pizza Hut pizza boxes hidden at the bottom of the recycling bin? After all, what sort of toppings does she have that you don’t, right? And you have it on good word she sometimes stuffs her crusts so you can’t trust a pizza like that.
You have some class and dignity, Dominoes. Just because you’re usually there in 30 minutes or less doesn’t mean you’ll stay for one more second if you feel like you’re being treated like leftovers.
10 We got this
Ah, yes. April 20, also commonly referred to as 4/20, is that infamous holiday where purveyors of smoking the exotic like to enjoy their green contraband. And, but of course, what goes along with enjoying that particular kind of smoke? Ravenous hunger. The munchies, if you will.
The Men’s Humor Twitter account light-heartedly starts a conversation with Taco Bell, posting that, “If Taco Bell delivered, they would make so much money today. #420.”
Taco Bell, privy to the real number of customers they get on 4/20, seems amused that Men’s Humor would think they aren’t making that much as it is.
Taco Bell replies, “We’re probably going to make a lot of money today, anyway. #Ballin.” And boy, they are not wrong. There are probably going to be lines around the block!
We’re not gonna lie. Making a run for the border to get us some Taco Bell always seems like an attractive option. But for those who enjoy the wacky “tobacky”? Those Cheesy Gordita Crunches, 7-Layer Burritos, Doritos Locos Tacos and Crunchwrap Supremes are magnetically irresistible. You might as well be waving meat in the face of a starving bear.
Now we’re hungry. How are we supposed to write when we’re thinking of Taco Bell?!
9 He’ll huff and he’ll puff and he’ll blow your hut down
It’s always a hoot when there are two competing fast food chains that are right across the street from each other. In this scenario, it’s a Pittsburgh Dominoes and Pizza Hut.
It’s not clear exactly what happened to the Pizza Hut across the street. Maybe it was a fire, maybe Steelers fans ransacked it or maybe they just opted for a total renovation. Though it was apparently once fully functioning, it’s now a construction site and they are rebuilding the restaurant.
The Dominoes sign says, “We huffed and puffed and blew the Hut down.” In Dominoes version of events, they would like to puff up a bit and take responsibility for the demise of their fellow pizza peddler.
Reddit user LavenderTed chimes in and says, “But the Pizza Hut is coming back according to that sign on the construction site.” Redditor Astrum91 replies, “They’re building it out of brick this time.” Ah yes, probably not the best idea to build a house out of straw or sticks. But the analogy doesn’t make a lot of sense to begin with…why would the three little pigs run a place that sells ham, Canadian bacon and pepperoni?
Maybe we’re overthinking this.
8 Bring it
We can’t imagine living in tornado country. The thought that at any moment, a localized storm concentrated down to a conical point could tear through and destroy virtually anything standing is just downright terrifying. People, however, have learned how to adapt and be keenly aware of the warnings to get underground in time.
So we can imagine that period of time after a tornado strikes to be sobering. What’s left? What can we salvage? What is the damage that has been done?
It must be a relief, no matter how slight, that certain familiar landmarks are still standing, even if a bit damaged.
After a disaster, the comfort of knowing your favorite fast food joint is ready and willing to serve you a bunch of comfort in the manner of your choice…well, that’s nourishment for the soul right there.
This Taco Bell picks up the pieces and lets everyone knows that it may have been down, but it’s not out.
The sign reads, “Tornado vs. Tacos. We win. Come on in.”
It may be tempting fate to taunt mother nature like that, but we’re certain after a harrowing storm event, most of the community is ready to chow down. Melted cheese helps to coat all that stress.
7 He’s got a beef
Twitter user Thuggy-D decided to pick a fight with the Wendy’s Twitter account when they announced that “our beef is way to cool to ever be frozen.”
Thuggy-D replied, “Your beef is frozen and we all know it. Y’all know we laugh at your slogan 'fresh, never frozen' right? Like you’re really a joke.”
The argument goes on for a few more tweets, with Wendy’s insisting they never freeze their meat. Wendy’s at one point asks Thuggy-D, “Where do you store cold things that aren’t frozen?”
Thuggy-D changes the subject with, “y’all should give up. @McDonald’s got you beat with the dope breakfast.”
Here, Wendy’s goes in for the ending blow.
“You don’t have to bring them into this just because you forgot refrigerators existed for a second there.”
Know it all Thuggy-D just got served! But probably not at Wendy’s.
You’d think Thuggy-D would know better; it’s against the law for a major corporation to claim that they never freeze their beef if they are actually freezing their beef. Fraudulent claims are serious business. But the Wendy’s PR person in charge of the Twitter account knew that, so she breezed through the argument, confident she was right. Which enabled that wicked take-down at the end!
6 Relationship advice
If you're asking a fast food Twitter this relationship might be doomed— Wendy's (@Wendys) February 14, 2017
Sometimes advice from a stranger can be the most valuable. There’s something about getting an objective viewpoint from someone that has nothing to do with the situation. The advice just seems more pure.
So you might be able to understand where Kai Lawns is coming from when he asks the Wendy’s Twitter account, to offer him some sage relationship advice. And it also seems like if you were to ask relationship advice from a fast food chain, wouldn’t you ask Wendy? She’s the wholesome ginger that’s so pure, even her burgers are square.
Alas, it was not to be. Wendy’s comes out the gate pretty harsh, and replies, “If you’re asking a fast food Twitter, this relationship might be doomed.”
Well, Kai, she’s not wrong! Perhaps maybe ask some real people in your life? Or maybe your therapist? Failing that, there’s always the fallback of your local bartender. This might be beyond Wendy’s expertise as a purveyor of burgers and delicious shakes.
In vain, Kai asks, “So should I split up with her then?” Unfortunately, Wendy’s never replied. But Twitter user sush offers, “Split up with her like Wendy’s splits those prices.” Looks like that’s the best you’re going to get, Kai!
5 This ain’t no pumpkin patch
“Pumpkin Spice Tacos…Just Kidding!”
We’re not sure exactly when the pumpkin spice trend started. Around 10 years ago, we vaguely remember seeing a few offerings at Starbucks related to pumpkin spice…but nothing like what we see now.
But really—it has gotten completely out of control. Pumpkin Spice Hummus. Pumpkin Spice Pringles. Pumpkin Spice Butter. Pumpkin Spice Vodka. Pumpkin Spice Oreos. Pumpkin Spice Jerky. Pumpkin Spice cream cheese. We swear we’re not making any of this up.
So, it’s not really any kind of surprise that another fast food chain would offer pumpkin spice tacos. But not Taco Bell. No way.
Reddit users who saw the post loved it. Remarks user ihugfaces, “If you cant handle me at my spiciest you don’t deserve me a my pumkiniest." And a few reddit users told us something we didn’t know, like elverguillas who teaches us, “A real and typical Mexican dish is pumpkin flower quesadillas (quesadillas de flor de calabaza). They are pretty good.” Einsteins_coffee_cup agrees, “yeah, pumpkin and squash are awesome grilled fried or broiled. All you need is a little olive oil on it. Pumpkin, grilled corn and pulled pork tacos…leave the nutmeg and cinnamon for desserts.”
So final verdict? Pumpkins can go in tacos, but not pumpkin spice. And neither at Taco Bell.
4 We love them
Just where does Taco Bell get the ideas to craft their latest menu creation? We always thought they had a crack team of hungry teenagers cut loose in their kitchens, but perhaps they’re going for an even more unpredictable approach.
On Twitter, Patrick Saleeby writes, “If Taco Bell thinks they are revolutionary by putting nachos inside a burrito, then they’ve never met a drinking person.”
There’s been quite a few times where we left the house thinking we were only going to have a drink or two and then things got a little out of hand.
After arriving home, hurricane drunkard hits the kitchen and snack combinations we never would have thought of while sober become a reality, quickly devoured over the counter.
Peanut butter on potato chips? Go for it. Oreos dipped in cream cheese? Why not? Jerky and ice cream? Hey, it all ends up mixed around in your stomach, so tally ho!
So we are totally behind Taco Bell when they replied, “Where do you think we got the idea?”
This all but confirms to us that Taco Bell really does have an elite team of total drinkers that they deploy at 3 a.m. in the practice kitchen. These guys are the ones loudly staggering behind the scenes and becoming the real food heroes. Have some respect.
3 And what about it?
Sometimes simplicity is best.
Twitter user Kumail Nanjiani picks a fight with Taco Bell, pointing out, “Taco Bell’s entire menu is comprised of 5 things packaged in different shapes and combinations.”
It’s a fair point, but not entirely accurate. Going to Taco Bell means you’re going to have some combination of cheese, ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes and beans. There’s five ingredients right there. But there are also taco shells, guacamole, sour cream, tortillas, chicken and salsa. So really, you’re looking at 12 ingredients at the very minimum. Yeah, we’re being a stickler on this point.
But Taco Bell takes the defiant high road, and simply replies, “So?”
Yeah, dude, it’s delicious. What’s your point? If you go to your typical In N’ Out burger joint here in California, you’ll probably join a line that goes out the door. And all they offer is burgers, fries, sodas and shakes. And we think even if you add up all the ingredients in their burgers, it will still be less than the ingredients from Taco Bell.
Taco Bell is right. Saying a fewer number of ingredients makes for an inferior flavor is a dumb argument. Take the American snack industry—we have a gazillion snacks just based on potatoes, corn and cheese. You’re not going to hear anybody complaining about it.
2 The true price of a Big Mac
If you are number one in any industry, there’s always a target on your back. McDonalds, though it may vary slightly from year to year, consistently outsells many of its rivals. And when you’re on top, a lot of people take potshots at you. Deservedly so, sometimes. Just because you sell the most, doesn’t mean you have the best quality.
Wendy’s knows this. They may not have the top-selling burgers, but they have self-respect and legions of adoring fans. And as such, they have the right to have an opinion of the McDonald's Big Mac, which they find to be quite pedestrian.
On Twitter, Devon Peacock asks, “How much does a Big Mac cost?”
Without missing a beat, Wendy’s replies, “Your dignity.”
Ohhh, burn. But you gotta give Wendy’s credit where credit is due: no one imagined that the goofy fast-food joint with square burgers would get very far when they started. But here they are, consistently duking it out with the top five and successfully holding on to most of their market share. Most likely, if there’s a McDonald's and a Burger King in your town, somewhere there’s going to be a Wendy’s.
They don’t have to be number one. They know that their fans think they are cooler that they are not.
1 Don’t work for a clown
Graduates! It may be time for your first job out of high school, and the fast food joints are queuing up for your job applications. It’s a high turnover market, so chances are high you can get a position!
McDonald’s says you’ll be “loving it.” What does Burger King say?
Well, the sign appears to be offering some friendly advice, “Work for a King $!! Not for a clown.”
Hmm. That seems to be pretty sage wisdom. But on second thought, we’re not exactly sure if the governing style of a King would necessarily be better than that of a clown. Kingdoms are monarchies, so no democracy there. On the other hand, clowns don’t have any experience in governance, so though they might be funny and friendly, the whole operation is likely to fall apart.
But who are we kidding? We’re just talking about mascots here. The real rulers of these operations look pretty much identical: a bunch of suits in an air-conditioned building. The only difference is the Burger King HQ is in Miami, while the McDonald’s one is in Chicago.
The point of that little rant is that makes no difference whether you work for the clown or the king—at the end of the day, you’ll still be tired and smell like fries.
References: buzzfeed.com, hercampus.com, huffingtonpost.com, imgur.com, imgur.com, imgur.com, imgur.com, instagram.com, medium.com, nypost.com, pinterest.com, reddit.com, reddit.com, reddit.com, reddit.com, twitter.com, twitter.com, twitter.com