Tumblr is the golden child of the internet. Tumblr is the place where you can find literally anything. Whatever you’re looking for... the strange, the funny and the lazy. Yup, Tumblr is the place for those of us who not only spend our free time getting lost in the abyss of the internet, but also who classify ourselves as lazy. We're referring to those who don’t wanna get out of bed, sleep as late as possible and watch endless Netflix. In honor of the laziest among us, we’ve compiled a list of Tumblr posts that will make any lazy person say, “same.”
18 Rushing home
Anyone who’s lazy knows that when you have to do things, like go to work, you spend the entire time thinking about when you can go home and do nothing. You don’t even want to go home and do other things, fun things; you just want to leave and do nothing. It’s just the way it is. And even when you think you can be ambitious and change your ways—as in, you make plans or write out a list of things you need to do when you get home—you still go home and do nothing. You also, of course, don’t just leave the office slowly and take your time getting home. YOU RUSH THE HECK HOME. You power walk, you book it, you do anything you can to get home faster. You know your jammies and bed are waiting for you and you want nothing more than to be back with them. So you go, and then as soon as you get through that archway, you do absolutely nothing. It’s pure, blissful, lazy magic.
17 The truth
Here’s something about clothes that every lazy person knows. There’s nothing wrong with wearing things multiple times without washing them. There’s also nothing wrong with wearing the same thing two days in a row… ESPECIALLY if no one saw you wearing it. If no one saw you wearing it, it’s practically a rule that you wear it again the next day. Why waste that outfit, effort and the money on washing it? So, all you gotta do is live by the smell test. Does the item smell? If the answer is yes, you probably should wash it. If the answer is no, wearing it is a safe bet. If you’re not quite sure, a good spray of Febreeze or perfume will make it as good as new. Just like putting it through the washing machine… almost.
16 When you can't reach the remote
So you’re spending your day, as you always do, watching TV. You decide you want to change the channel. You scan around for the remote and realize that it’s just out of reach... or worse: all the way across the room. Any normal person would just move, grab the remote and change the channel. But, you’re no ordinary person. The remote is so far... why waste your energy? Instead, you make a small effort to reach for it... and when you can't get it, you just give up. You'll expand your horizons with whatever happens to be on TV. It’s easier for everyone that way. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find yet another show that you like. And besides, if you can’t reach it from where you are... you really don’t need it. You’ll just make do.
15 Justifying your laziness
Justifying your laziness is just one of the many difficulties of living a lazy life. People will criticize you, tell you to get off the couch, see the sunshine. But, we never let the haters get us down. Instead, we come up with the very best responses to combat the criticism. Take, for example, this gem from good ol’ Tumblr. That’s right, we’re not being lazy! Think about all the ancient Greeks accomplished... and YET, they still believed their gods lived on top of a climbable hill, but never went to check it out. Take that, lazy haters! You can’t argue with history, can you?! See, being lazy is great. Not only do you get to do nothing, but when you have to put effort into something, it gives you the opportunity to be creative. You know what we mean.
14 Hobbies include...
One of the most dreaded questions—whether it’s on a job interview or a first date— is: "What do you do for fun?” or “What do you do in your free time?” You know the answer. You know it in a heartbeat. Are these people crazy? The answer is obviously sleep. We take naps in our free time. Why? Because sleep is good, sleep is great, sleep is all there is. All we think about is sleep, all we want to do is sleep. But, you know that isn’t an acceptable answer. So, you make something up: “I, uh, I scrapbook.” But, any fellow lazy person knows the truth. And so does Tumblr. Your true passion is sleeping, your only hobby is sleeping... you’re probably sleeping right now.
13 Getting creative with everyday tasks
As previously mentioned, one of the greatest things about lazy people is how creative they (we) are. We may not want to get off the couch ever, but we’ll find new and extreme ways to do everything we have to without moving a muscle. We’ll find new ways to reach the remote, to pick up a dropped phone, to do whatever it takes without having to move. This person on Tumblr is prime lazy. Not only was she too lazy to pour cereal and milk into a bowl, she was even too lazy to get actual cereal. Instead, she creatively made her own with a granola bar and milk. Although this sounds kind of gross, even we have to admit, we applaud her creativity. Way to go.
12 Looks like I gotta wait
This one definitely applies to any lazy person—or any person who is procrastinating. College kids, we're looking at you. How many times have you said, “I’m going to start this paper at six…” but then got distracted surfing the net, look up three minutes later and decide to keep scrolling instead of actually starting the paper. “I’ll start it at seven,” you say. And then the cycle repeats itself... over and over, until it’s 2 a.m. and you actually have to get started. Whoever began this crazy justification for continuously pushing off work, we don’t know. We both thank them and hate them. And what we do know is everyone (especially on the internet) knows about it... and every lazy person uses it. Every single one.
11 It's just who I am
Any self-help book will tell you: love yourself, accept who you are, embrace your talents. So if you’re a lazy person, well, don’t deny it. Be proud! When people ask you who you are, tell them. Answer like this: “I’m just a sleepy person, that’s who I am.” Some of us are more sleepy than others, and that doesn’t make us any less of people. We’re just different. Some days we wish we had the energy other people seem to. Some days we wish we were less sleepy. But most days, we embrace the laziness and we tell people: "I AM SLEEPY AND PROUD. It’s just who I am, you can’t change me, you just have to accept it." We all can’t be the super-productive ones.
10 I feel motivated today
There are some days (although they are usually few and far between) that even us lazy folk wake up feeling motivated. We feel elated, like we can do anything. We wake up ready to conquer the day! So, we make a list of all the things we want to get done. And we’re excited. We get ready; we’re going to work out, clean the apartment, do all the things we’ve been meaning to do. And then, reality slowly sets in. All of those things will be exhausting. And we might not be able to finish them all. It will be a lot of work. So, we do as lazy does and we take a nap instead. Yes, the best thing there is to do—nap.
9 Still in your pajamas
The first thing you learn once you join the wonderful world that is laziness, is the uniform. The uniform is, of course, is the most comfortable clothing possible. Usually, that means no jeans, no skirts, no slacks; it means sweatpants, oversized t-shirts, leggings and sweatshirts. Why? Because getting dressed is already so much effort, why ruin your day by being uncomfortable? And as such, if someone comments on your wearing of sweatpants, you’re apt to get annoyed. After all, it’s your life, you can wear what you want. So what if you have daytime sweatpants and nighttime sweatpants? It’s YOUR LIFE. And sweatpants are the best, everyone knows it. So forget the haters, wear what you want, do what you want, and embrace the laziness as it pleases you.
8 Selective participation
Sometimes when people call you lazy, you’re like, yeah of course. But sometimes, people use lazy in a straight-up rude and derogatory way. When they do, you give them the stare down and tell ‘em straight up, you’re not lazy, you selectively participate in certain things (only things that are worth the time and effort, of course). Which is the absolute truth. It’s not that you’re too lazy to get out of bed, it’s that getting out of bed is not something you choose to participate in. On the other hand, you do choose to participate in the act of eating, of watching TV. Activities like exercising, running errands, working, those things you selectively choose NOT to participate in. “Laziness," they say; “selective participation,” you reply.
7 Accidentally punched myself
Sometimes, even lazy people have their super stressful days. They may not be from your typical stressors, like work or friends; instead, they’re #lazyproblems. What’s a lazy problem, you ask? Having too many TV shows to watch and not enough time to watch them. Or maybe, sleeping all day and then not being able to go to bed when you actually have to (a classic lazy dilemma). Or perhaps, dropping your phone on your face while scrolling through Instagram in bed. That’s the absolute worst. It’s not so easy being lazy. Sometimes, things get rough and when things get rough, the lazy get to bed. Just be careful, you may end up having one of those days where you punch yourself in the face while trying to hide under the covers. Sigh.
6 Weekend plans
Sometimes, even after suffering through an entire week of work, there are still things that even lazy people need to get done on the weekend. You know, like when those dishes have been piling up or the tumbleweed situation in your apartment is getting a little out of control. So, you bite the bullet and decide you have to be productive this weekend. It’s okay, you tell yourself, if you’re productive this weekend, you can be lazy all week after work. But then, on Saturday, you get distracted by a new season of Orange is the New Black. You stay up with some snacks and a blanket and watch the whole season. And then Sunday, of course, is hopeless. Because after staying up so late with Netflix, Sundays are for sleeping.
5 New TV shows
One of the best things to do as a lazy person is to watch TV. Hands down. It’s relaxing (most of the time), you get to become absorbed in another world and, best of all, you don’t have to do ANYTHING while doing it. You can just lay on your couch or bed like a bump on a log, sit there and watch TV. And yet… sometimes TV manages to become stressful and difficult. How, you ask? Well, when keeping up with the TV shows you watch becomes more effort than it is fun. All of the shows air on different places and at different times and there are so many episodes that if you get behind, you spend so much time trying to catch up that you just don’t know what to do with yourself. And THEN. You get to a point where you just can’t add any more, and if you do, you have to sacrifice old shows. It’s a terrible point, but we all get there. Eventually, you can only handle watching so many TV shows.
4 I'll get to it tomorrow
Sometimes, even us lazy people feel guilty about being lazy. We decide we’re meant for greater things and realize we probably should shape up. But the problem is, when we do get guilty, the guilt really gets us down. And there’s only one thing to do when you’re feeling sad and guilty: stay in bed. You see the problem? On the days we feel guilty about being lazy, we end up “solving” the issue by being even lazier. It’s a vicious cycle. And that’s where this Tumblr post comes in. Do we hate ourselves for being a lazy piece of crap a majority of the time? Will we scold ourselves for it? Eh, maybe tomorrow. Yeah, probably tomorrow. (And tomorrow, we'll say the same thing.)
3 Dresses are so nice
Any lazy person (or at least, any lazy girl) will tell you a dress is your best disguise. What do we mean by that? Well, it’s simple. Dresses are cute. People think if you’re wearing a dress, then you are also put together and trying hard. Why people think that, we don’t know. But, for some reason, a dress means you’ve got it together. What they don’t realize, however, is that a dress is the easiest outfit you could put together. It’s one item of clothing, ONLY ONE. Boom, you put it on and done. No matching shirts and pants, no putting on two items, it’s just one thing. The exception to all of this is if the dress has a zipper you can’t reach. NEVER SCREW WITH ZIPPERS. It’s a pullover dress or nothing.
2 I'll just hold it
Every lazy person, ever, has experienced this. It’s a daily struggle between bladder and willpower. This struggle often is the most intense when you’re in the middle of a Netflix binge. You’re sitting there on the couch or in bed, as you have been for hours. It hits you; you have to pee. But, you need to finish the episode first. And YES, you know that you can pause. But, getting up to go to the bathroom is so much effort. So, you hold it and you keep watching. A little while later, it hits you again and you go through the same mental circle. This repeats itself until you literally have to get up or pee your pants. Laziness is one thing, but please, don’t pee your pants.
1 That's enough productivity for one day
Even the laziest among us have to be productive sometimes. Usually it takes us longer, though. But, we gather up all our might, we think it out and we get whatever we need to done. Sometimes it’s an essay, sometimes cleaning the house or sometimes it's just a phone call that we really didn’t want to make. And then, we capitalize on the productivity of that one thing and we keep going. HA! Got you there, didn’t we? We absolutely do not do many productive things at once. We do one thing and then we take a break... a long break. A nap, if we’re being quite honest. Yes, napping is the best thing. And who can blame us? We have to reward ourselves, after all.