Traditionally, a pickup was meant to be used for serious rough and tough kind of applications such as worksites, construction projects, farms, industry, and more. It was never really meant to be about luxury. In fact, it was a strange thing if a truck touched tarmac. Rugged, tough, and insanely practical – that's what the pickup was all about.
However, as with all things under capitalism, the pickup became a marketing tactic, sold as an idea, dreams, and icon of a certain lifestyle. Pickups became a fashion statement – a way to express your political orientation and way of life. How silly. Pickups suddenly sold on the basis of luxury, style, sportiness, roadworthiness, and comfortability, all to appeal to a specific demographic and maximize profits. All at the expense of the Earth.
Today, some people think they are so cool when they own a pickup. Let's take a look at some sad attempts at looking cool in sporty pickups.
19 A Bit Of A Stretch
She may think that she's the diesel princess, but the reality might be a bit of stretch, considering that anyone who poses with their car is kind of lame in some kind of way or another. She just looks like she's trying too hard. At least they know when to take a picture when there’s a beautiful sunset.
18 A Boy & His Truck
Graduation photos aren’t always fun to take. This guy decided he would spice his photos up by posing with a pickup. In all respects, it’s a decent photo, yet sitting next a truck for such important photos kind of comes across lame.
17 Awesome Boots
There really is no disputing the ineffable style of this man right now – baggy pants, belt, and cowboy boots on the outside of his jean cuffs. What really stands out though is how serious he looks. Without a doubt, he loves his truck.
16 Did You Drop Your Keys?
He looks kind of scared, slightly confused, and like he's in the middle of something. My guess is that he dropped his keys in the grass – was looking for them right when some random stranger asked him to smile for a photo out of the blue. Taken off guard, he obliged. Either that or it's an embarrassing graduation photo.
15 Dressed Up For This One, Eh?
Taking a special occasion to do some staged photos of yourself with your truck might call for throwing on a button up shirt, a flannel, a jacket, or something more dressy than a t-shirt. Right? Wrong. Not for this man, who wants the photos of his truck – but not washed – and wants to pose with it – but not dressed up.
14 Hit So Hard Her Boots Came Off
Posing on the hood of a car is something that very rarely looks cool, and when you pose like you just got hit by one of the most impractical truck builds around, it only gets lamer from there. Also, the boots off are extra lame. At least commit to the cool photo, matching boots and all.
13 How Fabulous
There's nothing more lame than prom dresses, and this girl is wearing one of the most obnoxiously bright orange dresses the world has ever seen. To top it all off, she's on a massive truck with a seriously lame lift kit and massive rims that aren't really all that practical. How lame.
12 How Romantic
Bold choice on the pink, and it's surprising to say that the bubblegum pink isn't the most embarrassing part about this photo – it's the odd suit and tie combo, the crazy dress, the field, and the general sub-par quality of the picture as a whole.
11 How Very Impressive
This guy must think he's pretty cool. I mean, just look at how freaking awesome his truck is, with that lift kit, those chrome wheels, all those decals. His coolness is just too much to even handle. He's making an odd face though that’s hard to interpret. His level of cool is just off the scales.
10 I'm So Intimidated
This truck owner, UFC fighter Quinton "Rampage” Jackson, knows all about intimidation, which is what he appears to be channeling here. He's tall, his fists are clenched, his truck is not only a long bed but also a crew cab, also on massive stilts, and he has a scowl on his face.
9 Intensely Practical
This semi-ironic photo is actually quite amusing, as these two pretty stylish and hip people are just finishing up their trip at IKEA and feeling like total bosses. They are purposefully being as lame and dramatic as possible as they pose as the most practical people alive.
8 Much Speed Very Fast
Wow, this is such a fantastic truck. It must be so fast and powerful and. Those lightning bolts must make it go faster, right? I'm so jealous of it, it makes me want to get my own ridiculous truck and pose in front of it. If only I weren't too lame to do something as lame as that.
7 Proud Of His Carbon Footprint
This man would probably tell you that he loves nature, loves the woods, and hates the city. But his actions speak otherwise. His gas-guzzling truck and his completely recreational ATV suggests his concern over the environment is somewhat lacking. At least he’s getting some good use out of his truck by hauling something.
6 Santa, Is That You?
The Hennessey Veloci-Raptor is one of the most absurd trucks in the world. So absurd and expensive that you know anyone who owns one is by nature completely uncool. Though, apparently, this is some sort of crazy version of Santa. I don't think I'd want to accept any gifts from this Santa.
5 So Dramatic
There's nothing more dramatic than posing like you're about to faint while leaning against a preposterously lifted Toyota Tundra, complete with belly shirt and half worn denim jacket. And if you're trying this hard for the 'gram, it doesn’t come across real great.
4 That's An Impractical Taxi
This truck purportedly belongs to the chef known as Guy Fieri, and if you think about it, it totally makes sense. This truck is somewhat outrageous, just like him. Therefore, to have your picture taken while posing with a truck that isn't even yours comes across sad.
3 The Biggest Car Nerd Around
While Jay Leno’s collection is remarkable – downright impressive even – in a lot of ways, it shows that he really is just one giant nerd. He certainly has a passion and pushes it to the point of obsession. It’s a little lame though if he thinks he needs to add a Ford F-150 Harley Davidson Edition to his collection.
2 Truck Must've Broken Down
Love the skater sneakers, do you board bro? My guess is no, considering that any skater who owns a pair of these would have almost used them to the point of pieces within a week of buying them. He also looks strangely sad. His truck must have broken down. If only he had a skateboard.
1 Wow, So Unique
This massive Dodge ram is so unique it's almost bad. Well, just bad then. The pose is totally awkward, too, there's no need to put your leg up like that. And whatever is happening with that pose looks uncomfortable. At least she looks happy to be posing next to it.
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