In modern culture, movies and television shows have warped people’s perception of the childbirth process because everything is so darn sanitized: the baby arrives looking nice and clean, is alert and quiet and mom doesn’t look like she has run a marathon for the past week or so.
Mothers that have had more than one child know all about the process of giving birth and how awkward it can be, but new moms that are getting ready to greet their first child are basically going in blind without that much information to really help them understand what will go down.
Moms-to-be, read on to prepare for the big day and all of the hilarious yet embarrassing issues that can crop up in the process.
20 Mom's Intestines Go A Bit Haywire
The Bump writes that it is pretty common for mom’s intestines to act up during labor due to the fact the muscles they have to use to push the baby out are the same ones involved when going to the bathroom to do number two.
It may sound embarrassing for moms-to-be, but rest assured it is totally normal and is nothing the doctors and nurses haven’t seen before.
19 Baby's Arrival Is Too Fast For Labor In Delivery Room
According to The Bump, the labor process can often take moms by surprise and start way before they even get to the hospital.
There have been plenty of stories about women that progressed rapidly in labor to the point that their little one has made their debut even before the mom has been admitted to the hospital room, so that is definitely something to keep in mind.
18 C-Sections Often Require Baby Getting A Blood Test ASAP
The Bump warns moms-to-be that they should be prepared to have their newborn undergo a blood test if they wind up giving birth via C-section.
It is a pretty routine test, but it can be distressing for some new moms or their family and friends in the room, especially if they are very squeamish.
17 Epidurals Often Work Too Well
The Bump writes that one thing all moms-to-be should be aware of is the fact that epidurals tend to work as pain relief from the annoying contractions.
Sometimes though, the epidural work really well to the point that they can’t even feel their body push the little one into the world.
16 Vomiting And Having To Urinate Is Not A Fun Combo
Most moms-to-be have heard stories from friends or online about all of the gross stuff that happens during labor and may feel that they are prepared for it.
The Bump points out what no one tells new moms is that on occasion labor makes a mother have to vomit up all the contents of her stomach at the exact same time her bladder decides to open the floodgates, which is a combination clearly sent from the fifth circle of the Underworld.
15 Nurses Are Not Shy When It Comes To Breastfeeding
Thanks to pop culture, television shows and movies have made many women erroneously believe that breastfeeding their newborn is easy-peasy and they won’t have any issues whatsoever.
What To Expect notes that shy moms should be prepared for nurses to manhandle the new mom to get the milk flowing so that baby can eat. This is definitely not something they show in films!
14 Fluids Can And Probably Will Gush Out
In both films and television shows, the act of giving birth has been pretty sanitized for modern audiences and doesn’t show half of what really goes on in the labor ward.
What To Expect writes that new moms need to be prepared to see a huge amount of bodily fluids leave them when they are in labor and again when their little one is entering the world because there’s nothing sanitary about it—in fact, it looks more like a horror movie!
13 Prepare For Hemorrhoids
What To Expect writes that one downside of pregnancy and giving birth new moms are often unaware of is that they will develop hemorrhoids.
As if dealing with a painful tushie isn’t bad enough, after giving birth new moms also have to deal with the indignity of having a nurse check on them twice a day and apply cream to ease the pain.
12 Expressing The Uterus Hurts Like The Dickens
Another surprise for new mothers that pops up after delivery is when the nurse has to express the uterus and needless to say, after being battered for hours, that process hurts like the dickens.
Sadly, What To Expect notes that it is a necessary process because they need to make sure the uterus is getting smaller after bringing a baby into the world.
11 Passing Gas On The Doctor Is Totally A Thing
New moms might think that they are prepared for all the ways in which their body (especially their intestines and their bladder) act up in a handful of embarrassing ways during labor, but they don’t know half of it.
Cosmopolitan points out that some moms tend to get very gassy during labor as well as having to constantly go number two, which could lead to the doctor getting a good whiff of the aroma when they are checking on baby’s progress.
10 Sometimes Tylenol Doesn't Arrive In The Usual Form
According to Cosmopolitan, it is good to be aware of the fact that some moms-to-be can develop a fever during labor before the big day arrives.
In general, this is no big deal because the doctor and the nurses simply bust out the Tylenol but depending on how you feel, there is a chance they will have to inject it in the tuckus rather than swallowing it the regular way.
9 IVs Can Be Tricky To Administer
Romper adds that new moms should be aware of the fact that you’re going to need an IV during labor and, depending on your body, that can be a bit tricky.
For some people, the act of putting in an IV is super easy but with others, their veins like to give the nurses a hard time and it takes a few tries of poking and prodding to get it right.
8 Hospital Gowns Are So Not Sturdy
In most movies and television shows that feature a pregnant character, in the delivery scene her hair, makeup, and hospital gown stay looking pristine.
Romper notes that in real life, this does not happen and it is perfectly normal to experience the hospital gown falling off or getting ripped at the most inopportune moments.
7 Babies Are Gross Looking Before They Are Cleaned Up After Delivery
Thanks to modern television shows, most people have a tendency to think that babies look squeaky-clean and act totally calm after they have made their debut into the world.
Romper urges moms-to-be to prepare themselves for the fact that after birth their babies are going to be covered in gross fluids and will look bizarre for a bit until after they get cleaned up.
6 For The Love Of All Things Holy, Don't Watch Baby Crowning
Romper adds that if moms-to-be know the baby is crowning, it is best to resist the temptation to look and just shut their eyes until their little one is out and about.
The process is NOT a pretty sight and it is definitely not for the faint of heart or those who are very squeamish.
5 Keep Eyes Closed When The Doctor Starts The Stitching Process
Romper points out that getting stitched up after delivering a baby is no fun and can hurt like the dickens.
It is also not a good idea for moms that are easily grossed out to watch the process and to remember to ask that the mirrors be turned away so they don’t wind up getting an eyeful.
4 Placentas Aren't Pretty, Folks
Romper writes that squeamish moms to be should also try to avoid looking at the placenta because yes, while it was useful for the fetus, it just isn’t a pretty sight to see right after you’ve given birth.
There is also the small chance that the placenta can pretty much burst from the umbilical cord, which makes the entire scene even grosser looking.
3 Epidurals Make You Gassy
Baby Center notes that moms-to-be should be aware that one interesting side effect of getting an epidural during labor is that it makes you incredibly gassy and there is a good chance that your body will expel said gas at the worst possible time.
Between the gassy side effects of epidurals and the whole losing control of one’s bowels aspect of labor, childbirth is definitely not for the faint of heart.
2 Sometimes You'll Be The Feature For Medical Students To Practice On
Baby Center says that it is a good idea research before the big date whether or not the hospital you have chosen is a “teaching hospital,” lest you be taken by surprise.
Let’s face it, giving birth can be embarrassing and new moms might feel even more mortified if they find out that a pre-med student is going to be helping throughout the entire process at the last minute.
1 Feeling Nauseous With An Empty Stomach Is A Pain To Deal With
It is pretty normal for moms-to-be to feel nauseous and vomit while they are in labor and it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
Baby Center adds that moms-to-be should be aware of the fact that if their stomach is empty, then their body could force them to regurgitate even though nothing’s there and it can make their throat hoarse.
Sources: The Bump, What To Expect, Cosmopolitan, Baby Center