Bicycle culture is at once a high speed, endurance marathon oriented way of life and at the same time a silly, nonchalant, absurd form of locomotion. To ride a bike is to weave yourself into a culture that is as wide and storied as any other, especially considering that bicycles have been around much longer than cars.
The storied history of biking has led to a wide and broad culture today, with ample room for self expression and even personal growth. Bike parades are a great way for people to be able to act as silly as they want in public, to act like kids again, and to just be happy. Yet, as is expected and even warranted, these people embarrass themselves (isn't that the point?) Let's take a look at some compromising photos of people on bicycles.
20 Bespectacled Beauty
It's a bit of a mystery as to what exactly is happening here, with this strange Mad Max steam punk mash up fusion of bicycle madness. There's even a trailer covered in random pieces of metal to add to the, ahem, “aesthetic."
19 Please No, Not The Minions
Not only is a tandem bicycle hard to pull off in any instance—with you and your middle aged husband pulling up the rear—but with with minion costumes on, there really is no greater shame that you can bring upon yourself.
18 Nice Tights, Bro
This gold and red costume is about as skin tight as skin tight can get. While I'm not calling into question his outfit per se, what I am calling into question is his mismatched gloves and tacky helmet. At least try to make it all match, gear and bike included.
17 She Looks Scared
While it's unclear whether or not this lady is taking part in a costume bike parade, evidence points to the contrary, as she doesn't really look all that dressed up. Plus, her face would say otherwise, as she looks simultaneously afraid and disgusted by the absurd man riding in a fur costume next to her.
16 That's Not Very Aerodynamic
With other riders and a sideline crowd cheering people on, this looks like a race. And if you're riding in a race, you'd want to logically do at least a few things to help you out. At a bare minimum, sticking a massive wind block on your back to give yourself crazy drag for the whole race would be out of the question, right?
15 A Whole Bunch Of Crazy (And Fun)
It's easy to make fun of these people for being so absurd, but at the same time it's clear that they're having the time of their lives doing this, so it's kind of hard to really say anything against it. To do so would just admit that you're a stickler and secretly jealous of their ability to live life with abandon.
14 In True Parade Fashion
The amount of effort put into this costume is really just impressive, and despite how flashy and genuinely absurd it is, there's a certain amount of respect deserving of such an elaborate display for a bicycle parade. Nicely done, though that really is a lot of feathers—like a lot.
13 Nice Spoiler
Most bicyclists don't need an aerodynamic helmet, not one this elaborate, because the speeds they reach with road bikes never justify the added weight and limited mobility of something as absurd as this. A track bike that's capable of going 50 miles per hour, on the other hand, makes sense—and still looks silly.
12 Something's Gone Horribly Wrong
Well there's one guaranteed way to look like a fool while riding a bike in a race, it's having your entire sprocket, gear, and pedals come off in one fell swoop. The expression on this guy's face really does say it all, too, the shock and disbelief, paired with the confusion and shame.
11 Flashback In Time
Wearing entirely wool for a bike ride seems like a really hot thing to do, especially because it looks like summertime. Her outfit is very period accurate, which is impressive, but at the same time her bike looks like a retro cruiser she bought at Walmart for less than 100 bucks. Gotta go all the way or you'll look foolish.
10 Captain Of His Ship
This man looks like a proper sailor with his hat and his pipe and all, and his bike is color coordinate which is awesome. The shape of his bicycle on the other hand is truly absurd, and it looks like quite an impractical bike to ride. Though it does also look pretty fun, so high up.
9 The Hot Dog That Could
This for some reason looks like it could be some sort of strange inspirational photo, mostly because this man is trying so hard to ride his bike, rather I should say this hot dog is trying so hard. The strain is clear on his face, but that hot dog costume just makes it all better.
8 Don't Crash
It seems like this could pose a hazard to everyone except for the people who attached massive giraffes to their helmets. The visibility is a primary reason why it's dangerous for any people behind them. If there was a collision, the giraffe could lambast anyone within ten feet, potentially harming them further.
7 Pepperoni Pizza And A Cheese Block
The triangular shape of that costume for some reason is quite a flattering shape for this girl riding the Trek bike, and I think anyone would be tempted to have a slice. The guy with the cheese on his head, on the other hand, seems like he's having a good time regardless of how silly he looks.
6 Shameless Self Expression
While this could easily be one of the most absurd photos in this lineup, the fact that this man is so shamelessly, effortless, and unabashedly himself makes him almost beyond reproach. I mean, he even has his dog draped over his shoulder, and his dog is loving it. How cool is that?
5 Fairies Need Coffee, Too
I believe in fairies, though perhaps this man is more of a ballerina of some kind. It's hard to tell because of that crazy purple fro on top of his helmet. But, fairies are real and it's been proven now with photo evidence that they need coffee, too.
4 Your Water's The Wrong Way, Dude
Despite how shocking and hysterical it looks and is that this man is floating through the air gingerly perched upon nothing, the really funny part of the photo is still that he's holding his water bottle backwards and it's gloriously spraying outwards. His mouth just looks so hopeful.
3 It's Really A Great Mystery
Whatever is happening here is really a great mystery. There's really no explaining why this man is riding a clear bike shaped like a box, or why on Earth he's wearing plastic clothes, or again what's on his head, or the greatest mystery of all: why is he wearing flip flops?
2 This Tandem Is Just Too Small
When you like the idea of a unicycle and you love your mate just as much as you do your passion for unicycling, so much so that you wish you could just ride a unicycle together, this is what gets created: a two wheeled unicycle—which is just a bike, but more complicated and harder to ride.
1 Ready. To. Ride.
This young man in a fetching brown polo shirt seems to have decked out his bicycle helmet with a video camera, and he really couldn't be prouder. He's really thought through it all, even making sure his neck muscles are evenly strained by putting weights on the opposite side. I guess he doesn't know about GoPros.
Sources: Hive Miner, Chain Reaction Cycles & Bike Forums