Is a dad even a dad if he doesn't embarrass their kids? Probably not, because fathers have been embarrassing their children since the dawn of time (both accidentally AND on purpose). My dad used to always tear up the downstairs bathroom when my friends were visiting and then come out and say "girls, I wouldn't go in there for a while. Just a heads up." Yep, that's the crap I had to deal with (literally). When he wasn't single-handedly destroying restrooms he was passing gas in public and blaming it on his kids. If embarrassment could end lives, then I would have never made it to college.
As far as embarrassing his kids went, my dad was pretty equal opportunity. My older brother suffered just as much as I did, so at least I wasn't alone in my mortification. Not everyone is that lucky. I know a lot of "daddy's girls" who have felt unfairly targeted over the years, especially on social media. Think kids can get away with an alluring selfie on Instagram without their dad saying something about it in the comments? NOPE, sorry. Whether it's photobombing a prom pic or walking around Walmart in short denim cutoffs, some dads love to make a point by exasperating their daughters both on and offline.
Here are 20 dads (with a flair for the dramatic) who had zero problems embarrassing their daughters. Enjoy.
20 Better Safe Than Sorry
Getting a driver's license is a milestone that every kid dreams about. The open road, the windows down, the wind in one's hair...free at last. That's assuming this poor girl can survive the embarrassment of her dad teaching how to drive, of course.
This dad has really gone out of his way to embarrass his daughter. He's got the helmet, the life jacket, the fanny pack, the JORTS, and what appears to be a pair of camo croc boots. He probably kept the windows rolled down so everyone could hear him yell "TAP THE BRAKE! I SAID TAP IT!" This poor girl, man. Learning to drive is hard enough without having to be distracted by a middle aged guy in jorts. Look at her face! She's smiling, but I can tell she's dying inside.
This picture should be an advertisement for driving schools, because having a parent teach a kid to drive is nothing less than hell on Earth. I would never survive teaching my kid how to merge on the interstate, so a driving school it is. My daughter will never have to worry about her dad barking orders in the passenger's seat (while wearing crocs). I will protect her from this girl's fate, so help me God.
19 That's One Way To Handle It
If this guy wasn't wearing an explanation on the back of his shirt, I would just assume he chose to wear those short jean cutoffs for fun (because this is Walmart). It's classic "people of Walmart" material (minus the black spandex).
I hate to break it to this dad, but "short shorts" are still cute (just not on dad). This little stunt only proves why they don't sell short shorts in the men's section. These kind of "lessons" aren't accomplishing anything, because young girls have been wanting short shorts since short shorts were a thing. The little girl next to him doesn't even look like a preteen yet! God help him when she gets old enough to shop at Forever 21! She's not going to be cool with wearing those basketball shorts to Walmart forever.
Sometimes I think dads do this for themselves more than they do it for their daughters. I bet this guy's shirt got a lot of laughs and slaps on the back while he was walking through Walmart. He probably took a picture of himself and posted it on Facebook so he could receive some accolades for his "vigilant parenting." Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of girls wearing short shorts to school, but take it from me (a 35-year-old mother of two) - there are a limited amount of years one can look good in those adorable shorts in the junior section. Buy a pair and enjoy those youthful legs while they last (just don't wear them in front of your dad).
18 Taking Advantage
The best thing about this picture is how happy this little girl looks about pooping in the shower. Have you ever seen someone look so pleased with themselves? If only she was old enough to read and write (and understand what she just signed).
This is a serious power play on her dad's part, but I can't say I blame him. There's nothing worse than cleaning up your kid's poop, especially when they're big enough to tell you what they did in words. Judging by this picture, this adorable little lady knew exactly what she was doing when she dropped a deuce in the shower.
When I was around three or four, my older brother dared me to poop in a bucket in the basement. Never one to back down from a challenge, I took care of business without missing a beat. I'll never forget my brother screaming, "OH MY GOD, SHE ACTUALLY DID IT" and the sound of my dad's footsteps coming down the stairs. I knew I was in trouble the minute I heard him ask "what the hell is going on down here?" Yep, my poor dad had to get the hose and clean out the bucket in the backyard. He's not one for antics, so I'm sure I was punished somehow (I just don't remember it). Thank God he didn't have a camera at the time. I got off easy compared to this girl.
17 Her Expression Says It All
This girl's expression says everything we need to know. I don't think she's faking it, either.
From what I've read on the Internet, this guy made his daughter wear this shirt as punishment for staying out past her curfew. Instead of just grounding her or taking away her phone (which is what most dads would do), this guy decided to let his creative juices flow. It's obnoxious, cringe-worthy, and hilarious at the same time.
I wonder how long she had to wear this shirt? It would be pretty cruel and unusual to make her wear it to school, but I bet that's exactly what she had to do. That was probably the entire point! I'm sure he didn't even let her bring a sweatshirt to cover it up, either. Sure, it's funny and she's (obviously) embarrassed, but I'm not sure how effective stunts like these are long-term. She'll continue to stay out past curfew- this shirt will only serve as incentive to not get caught. As a teenager, my biggest fear wasn't that dad would make me wear an embarrassing t-shirt (he wasn't that creative)- my biggest fear was disappointing him. This guy can try to shame his daughter into good behavior all he wants, but in the end, she's got to respect him and his rules. No shirt (no matter how funny) will make that happen.
16 Just The Worst
We all know that only the whitest of whites clap when the plane lands, but it's even worse when it's your own track-suit wearing dad who's doing the clapping.
Why do people clap when the plane lands? A lot of people have asked that question, but Travel + Leisure magazine reached out to two flight attendants and a 30-year world traveler for answers. Kara Mulder, a flight attendant with eight years’ experience, and the blogger behind The Flight Attendant Life, thinks that clapping has everything to do with the destination. “When you’re going to New York, most people are going for business or going back home,” she says. “When you’re going to Vegas, most people are going to party.” Marisa Robertson-Textor, a freelance food and travel journalist, didn't encounter the clapping phenomenon until she flew into Puerto Rico. Her roommate Rosa, a Puerto Rican by birth, explained to her that, “When people get back to Puerto Rico, they always clap.”
I guess when you're flying to your homeland, a beach, or a margarita, clapping makes sense, but what about all those white folk who are flying into New Jersey? What's their excuse? This poor girl's dad wasn't just clapping, he was giving a standing ovation! There's honestly nothing worse.
15 Carbs Are Life
I can relate to this dad on a deep level. Is there anything worse than going on a low carb diet and then walking down the bread aisle? No amount of cauliflower substitutes will make it any easier. I can smell bread the minute I step into the store and it's a battle to get out of there without throwing loaves in my cart and checking out before I can stop myself. This guy's bread aisle meltdown is all of us on the inside, but not many adults have a bread tantrum in public (and in front of their kids). Not everyone has a problem with embarrassing their offspring (or themselves), though.
If my dad did this I'd assume he threw his hip out and call 911, but some kids just expect these kinds of shenanigans. I had a friend in high school whose dad would pick her up from the school in his 4x4, singing along to the oldies station with his windows rolled down. I asked my friend why he did it and she just said, "he's always doing stuff like that to embarrass me." I guess it could have been worse- he could have laid down on the floor in the middle of the bread aisle, and his picture could have gone viral. These adults, you can't take them anywhere.
14 Looking Good, Dad
When you're about to go to a school dance you don't expect your dad to photobomb your pre-dance picture with a shot of his armpit hair, but that's exactly what happened here. I really hope it wasn't her friend who was taking the picture, but we can't ignore that possibility. If I saw my friend's dad posing like that behind the screen door I'd drop the camera and find a happy place. What I'm trying to say is, this ain't right.
Some dads just love to photobomb, even during special occasions (like prom). Wedding photos aren't off limits, either. In case you're unfamiliar with the term "photobombing," it's the act of purposely putting oneself into the view of a photograph (often as a practical joke). Photobombing has existed ever since photography began, but the creation of smartphone cameras has made embarrassing your child easier than ever. One time I saw my my preteen daughter attempting to take a mirror selfie and I shut her down by throwing myself into the shot at the last minute. It had to be done. NO CHILD OF MINE is posting a bathroom mirror selfie. Ugh, they're the worst. I'll photobomb every single one of them if it comes to that, but hopefully she learned her lesson.
13 Nothing To See Here
Complaining about how dark it is in Hollister is the ultimate dad thing to do, isn't it? So is carrying a head-lamp around in your pocket. This dad should win an award for out-dadding every single dad in the world.
This dad wasn't trying to embarrass his daughter in this picture- he was just being his normal, practical self. What other option did he have? Shopping in Hollister is like shopping in the dark! Thank God he had his handy-dandy headlamp with him, or there's no telling what size he would have picked up. I've been known to bruise my legs by bumping into tables in that place. It's madness.
This guy isn't the only adult who's been confused as to why Hollister wants us to shop in the dark. The Telegraph wrote an entire article about it, filled with stories about women losing their children inside the store because nobody will turn the damn lights on! One mother said, “When I go in there it feels like I have vertigo. I’ve never seen anywhere with so many lights be so dark. I thought I was in a nightclub. When we go in I cling to my daughters and say, 'Don’t lose me.’”
The frustration is real. Even Facebook groups have been set up with names like “Hollister, please turn your lights on” and “Welcome to Hollister, like a torch?”
I guess "club lighting" isn't for everyone. Parents, learn from this dad and don't forget your headlamps.
12 Totally Normal
Sure, this is embarrassing for his kid, but this has got to be more embarrassing for him. When a dad is willing to embarrass himself for the sole purpose of embarrassing his daughter by association- that's love right there.
I'm glad that this guy brought someone along just to take a picture to prove that he went through with it. The teacher was probably too tired to even notice (that's the teacher life for you). Even if she did, I'm sure seeing a white guy with a hair pick in his beard is nothing compared to having to deal with helicopter parents. This teacher is probably completely over stupid stunts (parent stunts included). Look at her! She doesn't give AF, she just wants to go home. I can't blame her.
That picture of him acting all serious with a hair pick in his beard is pretty funny, but I'm sure his daughter wasn't pleased. Having a crazy dad must get old real fast. Even worse, this guy posted the picture on the internet where it will forever live in infamy. There's no escape, she'll always be the daughter of "the hair pick guy." Once it's reposted on the web, there's no escape.
11 That'll Do It
I love how this dad is sitting on the bleachers and watching his daughter play basketball like he's not wearing half a hat and rocking some flip flop cowboy boots. He's just as chill as he can be. I'm sure tons of people were taking his picture, but he doesn't seem to mind. He has one job and one job only- to embarrass his daughter at any given opportunity.
I occasionally enjoy embarrassing my kids, but there is a definitely a line that I won't cross. Embarrassing myself is that line. My daughter would be mortified if I showed up at her school musical wearing a onesie, but then so would I. What if people didn't know I was out to embarrass her? I wouldn't want people to think I wore onesies on a regular basis!
This dad obviously has zero craps to give about what other parents think, and I respect the hell out of that. His daughter might be embarrassed now, but one day she'll be laughing about that time her dad came to her basketball game looking like a dumb hillbilly. He probably changes up his look for every game. Maybe next week the theme will be Pretty Woman (let's hope not).
10 Dad's Cosplaying Again
In case you're not a Mad Max fan, let me clue you in. This dad dropped his daughter off at school while cosplaying as a war boy from Mad Max: Fury Road. And you thought your dad was bad!
Either this guy was heading to Comic Con right after he dropped his daughter off, or he dressed up as a War Boy just to embarrass her. I guess we'll never know, but either way, it's pretty freaking cool (if you're not the daughter). Unlike Batman or Spiderman, a "war boy" is a pretty obscure character that most elementary school kids aren't going to know about. His face probably gave all the other kids in the carpool line nightmares.
According to The Mad Max Wiki, War Boys are hand picked at a young age as the paramilitary arm of The Citadel and are indoctrinated as zealots with Immortan Joe as their immortal leader. They were based on the Japanese Kamikaze pilots of World War II, and are completely loyal. They view death in service to Immortan Joe as an honor.
Sounds super sweet, right? Totally the kind of character you want your dad to be. Good luck explaining his costume to your friends, sweetie. Thanks, Dad!
9 Nailed It
No one can troll their teenage daughter quite like this guy...
When these pictures first came out, Burr Martin became an instant legend and will forever be known as "the selfie dad." But there's more where this came from! There's an entire collection of "selfie dad" spoofing his daughter for us to enjoy. According to PEOPLE, Burr was originally trying to prove a point about his concern over his daughter's “too provocative” selfies. Now he just does it for fun.
“Cassie has toned down her own selfies a little bit,” he says, “and she’s now more aware of the impact of them. So now, I guess I’m still doing this more in fun because everybody seems to get such a kick out of it.”
Despite her dad taking up a painfully embarrassing hobby, Burr's daughter seems to be cool with it (more or less). Whenever she posts a new selfie on Facebook or Twitter, she knows what's coming.
“I know there’s a chance he’s going to imitate it,” she tells PEOPLE, “but it’s always a lot of fun. Probably the funniest thing is when he draws on a tattoo and it’s still there the next day because he couldn’t remove it.”
Selfie dad now has almost 150K fans on Instagram, so obviously he's doing something right.
8 Some Dads Have Zero Filter
Thank the Lord my dad is too old to "get" social media, because I don't think I could handle him leaving embarrassing comments all over the internet. Too bad for the children of Generation X!
I watch dads embarrass their kids on Facebook all the time, and I just thank my lucky stars that I'm not them. When your dad (or mom) is paying your phone bill, it's kind of hard to unfriend them on social media. There's a reason kids these days prefer Snapchat (and other apps that adults have trouble navigating). This girl couldn't even post a picture of her boyfriend without her dad throwing in his two cents. Only a dad would say something like "glad they're blue!" That's possibly the most "dad-ish" response every written. I didn't even need the little notes telling me that it was her dad, because it's obvious! Only a dad could pull off a warning disguised as a joke.
If you have a dad who is active on social media, the best thing you can do is utilize the "customize your audience" feature. Just make sure you remember to take it off occasionally, because if he doesn't see you post for a while he might get suspicious. Protect yourself, ladies!
7 A Man Who Keeps His Word
Well that's one way to drive home a point.
"Whatever you do to my daughter, I will do to you." Yep, that's pretty gross. I guess this photo op proves that this girl's dad is a man of his word. Her date better choose his next steps very carefully.
I get what they were trying to do here, but the caption is all kinds of NOPE. I can see by the giddy look in the dad's eyes that this was his idea, but I don't think he really thought this through. Clearly he's hoping the boy won't try anything with his daughter that he wouldn't try with him, but these are teenagers we're talking about. Their self control is non-existent. Unless he's ready to pucker up in the back seat of the car, this dad might want to revise his strategy.
There's something sweet about having a protective father, but overprotective fathers can be a major source of embarrassment. I don't know how many times I've seen rednecky prom pictures featuring a looming father in the background (with or without firearms) just to "make a point." Dads, the only point you're making is that you can't trust your own daughter to make good decisions. Maybe have a long talk with her instead.
6 Best. Dad. Ever. (According To Dad)
Oh, look! It's just another dad who made the national news by publicly humiliating his daughter in the best way possible.
If you don't remember this news story, then let me fill you in on the details. Scott Mackintosh is a regular dad from Utah who was fed up with his teen daughter's too-short shorts and decided to take matters into his own hands. After hacking up some old jeans to create his own pair of "homemade Daisy Dukes," Scott decided to wear them out to his favorite restaurant (where his wife Becky snapped a photo and posted it to her blog). His daughter handled the public embarrassment like a champ, but reportedly drew the line at walking into an ice-cream shop alongside him. Shortly after, the image went viral and Scott was lauded as "the best dad," the "coolest dad" and the "most embarrassing dad" ever.
Scott wasn't sure if his message about modesty sunk in, but he told the NY Daily News that it didn't matter, saying, "My daughter will always know that her dad loves her and cares about her enough to make a fool out of himself."
I would love to hear his daughter's side of the story!
5 Need Some Aloe For That Dad Burn?
Like I've mentioned before, being your dad's "friend" on social media is definitely risky. I'm sure this dad loves to embarrass his daughter in real life, so it only make sense that he would troll his daughter online. Elizabeth probably thought she was being super sweet by acknowledging her parents' anniversary on Facebook, but dad wasn't going to just say "thanks, honey" and move on! This isn't a mom she's dealing with!
"27 years of marital bliss. 19 years of disappointment with a daughter who can't spell "parents." BURN! I wonder if Elizabeth knew that her dad was a grammar troll. I bet Matthew (who commented right below) is a dad too, which is why he can appreciate such quality dad trolling. He was probably sitting there taking notes. Matthew's comment is exactly what Elizabeth's dad was hoping for- public acknowledgment that he's a funny guy.
Moms (usually) won't say things like this online because they doesn't want it to get "misconstrued." Dads just don't give AF. They're out to tease their offspring, and to hell with the consequences! As annoying as dads are, most kids know what to expect. This girl might have been embarrassed, but she probably saw it coming.
4 Her Face, Tho
This face is what dad dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure this girl will think twice before skipping school again (or at least get smarter about not getting caught). I can't even imagine how embarrassing this would be to a middle schooler. Any man who is willing to put on a pretty sundress and sashay to the front door of their daughter's school deserves some kind of dad award, because my man would never take it this far (but if he did, I'd be there to document it).
This picture needs to be framed and put up on their mantel, because the juxtaposition of misery and smugness is truly amazing. It's rare to capture such opposing feelings in one shot. This poor girl looks like someone just asked her throw herself in front of a bus, but she's only walking to school. Seriously, it's embarrassing, but it's not THAT bad. A dude in a dress is not the end of the world (anyone who's ever been to a fraternity party can tell you that). She's probably just jealous that he looks so delightful in those bright colors! It really brings out his eyes. WERK, PAPA! I hope he gave all the PTA moms a sassy little wave on his way home.
3 Real Life Howler
If their kid isn't physically around, then a dad has no choice but to think outside of the box.
In case you're not a Potterhead, a "howler" is a magical letter in a red envelope "which enchants the written message into the writer's voice, usually at a very high volume," according to Harry Potter Wiki. Unlike a real howler, however, I doubt this girl's embarrassing card burst into flames after the message was received. Too bad.
I didn't know people still went to boarding school (probably because I'm a peasant), but apparently they do. I guess rich dads are just as embarrassing as poor dads, because this is hella impressive regardless of your economic status. Sending a voice-recording of yourself yelling about the dog pooping on the carpet is HIGH QUALITY DADDING. My kids will never be sent off to a fancy-schmancy boarding school, but I'm totally doing this if I send them off to summer camp. Dads can record themselves singing, yelling, farting...with voice-recording cards, the possibilities are endless! This is a great way to troll your adult children, too. Just make a note for them to open it in their office, and WA LA! Embarrassing your kids doesn't have to end when they grow up.
2 Dads Can Hang
I have so many questions. First of all, how and why did this happen? Does this girl's dad not have friends of his own? I'm really hoping he just happened to be at the same restaurant as her squad (but that kind of looks like his appetizer, so I have my doubts).
I wouldn't trust my dad to hang out with my friends without embarrassing both of us. Let me rephrase that- my dad would never, under any circumstances, hang out with my friends. It would be a nightmare for us both. This dad's face tells me that he doesn't think of himself as a regular dad- he's a "cool dad." That's truly the most embarrassing part of this whole scenario. Well, that and moment he typed "yo frienz."
The fact that this picture went viral is beyond me. What's so special about a dad hanging out with his kid's friends? Does no one else see how weird this is? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! While I can appreciate the fact that he's teasing his daughter (like a dad should), I just can't get behind a grown man hitting up Applebee's with his teenage daughter's squad. Nope and nope. Now that he sees himself as an internet sensation, there will be no living with him.
1 BEHOLD! The Birth Control Blanket
This doesn't even need to be her dad on the blanket- no one is going to have sexy times while this thing is around. Just knowing this monstrosity is in the house is the equivalent of taking an ice cold shower.
This really is the perfect face to put on a "birth control blanket," isn't it? This dude looks like he's just seen something he can't unsee. Unfortunately, unless the girl is Linus, I doubt she'll be carrying this bad boy around with her on all of her dates. The dad should stick it in the backseat of her car, just in case.
If I could create a "birth control blanket," it would feature a picture of tired a AF mother getting crapped on by her newborn baby. Or a picture of myself, before and after kids. Nothing glamorous about that. That's the risk you're taking, kids! It might not keep them from doing it, but at least it'll encourage them to be safe. This guy needs to rethink his strategy, but I'm not mad at it. I hope this blanket becomes a family heirloom and is passed on from generation to generation. May it prevent teenage pregnancies for many years to come! Amen.