The Duggar family is so well-known that it feels like they are part of everyone’s extended family, whether they like it or not. We first met the family when they premiered their show on TLC showing how they lived with many children and continued to bring more into the world.
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar would go on to add 19 children to their family in total. Now, amid a well-known scandal, their show has been since cancelled. However, there is a spin-off show following some of the older children and their lives.
One thing that has always fascinated the world is the strict dating rules the Duggar family has. It is a system that works for them, but seems incredibly outdated and controlling to the rest of the world. We are going to go through 20 dating rules that would only be followed by a Duggar daughter or son.
20 Ultimate Father Approval
The Duggars are a pretty traditional household and that means that the father really is the head of the household. That means that Jim Bob Duggar has the final say on most (if not all) decisions.
According to an article posted by today.com, Jim Bob must agree with the matching. If he does not approve of the courtship, it is simply not going to happen.
19 Hands Off
Today.com also highlights the one big rule we all know about courtship for the Duggars. There is a strict hands-off policy.
When a Duggar child enters into a courtship, they hold themselves to certain standards, and they are allowed very little, to no, physical contact. The most we have seen is a side hug.
18 Third And Fourth Wheels Are Necessary
It is always awkward to go on a first date, those early days are new and about getting to know someone. What makes it harder for a Duggar kid is that there are always at least two chaperones on their date.
According to today.com, they are usually accompanied by their parents on their date. If the two heads are not available, siblings will step in and tag along on the dates.
17 Dating With Purpose
The Duggar's say that there is a very important reason for all the rules, and that is because they see a courtship as 'dating with purpose.'
Today.com revealed that the Duggar family follows such rules because dating is not just for having fun. When a child enters into a courtship, it is expected that they will one day get married.
16 A Big Brother Is Always There On Dates
When it comes to chaperones for the dates, Jim Bob is very picky on who should be chaperones, according to today.com.
He has said that he wants the brothers to attend the dates more than the sisters. He believes that only the brothers are the best judge of character for who should court one of their sisters.
15 Big Brother Is Always Watching
Not only are a pair watched on their dates, but every exchange they ever have is watched with a close eye.
According to today.com, when Ben wanted to date daughter Jessa, he had asked Jim Bob and Michelle if he could send Jessa some text messages. At the time, he lived about 4 hours away. The mom and dad said yes, but only if they could read every exchange the pair had.
14 No Hand-Holding … Until He Puts A Ring On It
A lot of the time, it is up to the couple to set their own standards on physical contact when it comes to their courtship. However, there are a couple of rules that seem to apply to all Duggar kids, according to today.com.
Hand-holding seems to be pretty innocent, but this is off-limits until they are engaged. They also do not share a first kiss until their wedding day.
13 No Failing – No Break Ups!
Anyone who has been watching and following the family for a while now will notice one thing about courtships that stands out. They don't fail.
When a Duggar enters into a courtship, it is usually to the one they marry one day according to today.com. Courtships are designed to get to know the person you will one day be marrying.
12 When Is The Big Moment?
When we talk about the big moment, we are of course talking about that first kiss. Every couple looks forward to their first kiss, and it normally happens pretty quickly in a relationship. Well, not if you are a Duggar.
According to People.com, the first kiss is something that is considered sacred and it is saved for their wedding day. That is a lot of pressure to have your first kiss in front of a church full of people.
11 The Three Little Words Are Not Uttered
Being in a relationship is exciting and normally the feelings evolve from infatuation to love. However, the words 'I Love You' are not normally uttered early in a Duggar courtship.
According to Romper.com, a pair in a relationship will normally not say those three little words until they are officially engaged.
10 When Does Chaperoning End?
You would think that since the pair can say I love you when they are engaged that then is when they would have a bit more freedom from the overbearing courtship rules. This is not true.
According to Romper.com, even when the couple is engaged, they must still have chaperoned dates. They are never completely alone until they are married.
9 Interrogation Is Intense
It is normal to be a little afraid of the father of the girl you are in a relationship with. It is probably even to be expected that they will have a conversation about your intentions at some point.
However, according to screenrant.com, Jim Bob likes to fully interrogate the men who come asking about his daughters. It is a tough conversation that must happen.
8 Not Even An Alone Phone Call
In the early days of a relationship, two people will likely spend a lot of time on the phone. There are calls that last all night, as two people get to know each other. This is not the case in the Duggar family, according to Screenrant.com.
Every conversation the pair have on the telephone is monitored by a parent. That means that they are listening in on the other end.
7 Who They Socialize With Is Monitored
The Duggars are also very concerned with who the pair is interacting with outside of the courtship. They are worried about the influences they may have.
According to Screenrant.com, a pair in a Duggar courtship is not to speak to anyone who has gotten pregnant outside of marriage. These people would not be considered good influences and should be avoided.
6 Lessons From Dad And Mom *Awkward*
On the long list of awkward encounters with mom and dad, this one tops the list. According to screenrant.com, a couple who is in a courtship and about get married must go through counselling.
This is not always a bad idea, however, the counsellors are mom and dad. They have sessions with their children about marriage and even talk them through some of the physical aspects.
5 Dating And Social Media Go Together, Apparently!
Social media seems to run the world right now, and it is crazy to think of a scenario where two people cannot be on social media. According to screenrant.com, a Duggar pair is not to be on social media until they are at least engaged.
This is in an attempt to limit temptations to the younger Duggar children who are not yet in a relationship.
4 No Dancing Dates
Going dancing is one of the more popular date ideas, but this is not going to happen for a Duggar relationship, according to screenrant.com.
The Duggar children are not allowed to listen to modern music or partake in dancing of any kind. The only kind of music they listen to is Gospel music, which is pretty hard to dance to.
3 Rules For The Boys Specifically
Sometimes, families have different rules for their sons and their daughters, and the Duggars are no different.
According to screenrant.com, the boys of the Duggar family have their own standards that they have to live by. They have to avoid immodest women at all costs. This means that they have to only pick women who dress properly in the eyes of the Duggars.
2 Partners Must Be Religious
It is always ideal if a person picks a partner who has similar family values. It means the marriage is probably more likely to succeed.
The Duggar family also expects their children to pick partners that are similar in faith, according to babygaga.com. They don't necessarily have to be the exact same religion, but they need to be somewhere in the realm.
1 Courtships Are Super Short
This may not be an official rule, but it happens so frequently it may as well be one. Babygaga.com notes that the courtships in the Duggar family tend to be very short.
Couples are normally only courting for a couple of months before they are engaged, and then they are married shortly after. With all the limits on physical contact, we can kind of understand.
References: today.com, people.com, romper.com, screenrant.com, babygaga.com