Dogs are the absolute best. They will love you with every fiber of their being, their hearts ares in their tails and they are loyal until the very end. One of the things that we love the most about dogs is that they are pretty easy to read: What you see is what you get. When they’re happy, you know it—you can see their smiling faces and their wagging tails. And when they’re less than pleased or wishing they were able to eat that gooey slice of pizza on your plate, they will show you with their sad, little eyes.
Everyone loves dogs (and if you don’t, shame on you) and everyone loves dog memes (if you don’t, shame on you twice). Here are 20 dog memes that perfectly capture every mood.
20. When we’re bored
“Where is my mom? Is that mom? Where is mom? Is she done with work yet? What was that? Was that her at the door? No! Is she coming back? When is she coming back? She has been gone forever. It’s been at least 8 hours. I’ll just play with my ball. My ball is dumb. My ball is boring. I hate my balls. Oh, this toy is fun. But seriously, where is mom?”
It’s just like you at work during a tediously long day. The minutes are dragging with no end in sight. Will your work day ever end? Probably not. In the meantime, it’s time to make paper clip bracelets, binder clip statues and sticky tack sculptures to help pass the time.
19. When we’re jealous
“Well, well well. Petting and cuddling with Snowball from next door? Seriously? I hate that dog so much. She barks at anything that walks by, she refuses to walk and is carried around in a purse and she is an entitled b—. Forget it. It’s fine. Maybe you should just adopt her and get rid of me? You obviously like a different type of dog and I am obviously not what you are looking for.”
Kind of like: Who is this @maggiepie27 that keeps liking and commenting on all your posts on Instagram? Do you know her? How do you know her and how long have you known her? Where does she live? Have you ever been alone in a room with her? Tell me more.
18. When we’re grumpy
“Oh, a bath before dinner huh? Oh yea sure. No problem! Just throw me in and see what happens. I promise that you will see my wrath. I will eat your shoes, I will rip up your pillows, I will pee on your favorite dress. Don’t think so? Just try me. Just you wait and see what happens when you try to bathe me before you feed me.”
It’s like when you expect me to run errands or get anything done before I have my morning coffee. Look, I will take care of business. I will conquer the day with a smile on my face. After I have coffee, that is. I know you want to help cheer me up, but right now there’s a demon inside of me, so brew some coffee and stay away and nobody gets hurt.
17. When we’re excited
“Wanna go out? Did you just say that to me? Did I hear ‘Want to go out?’ Do you mean FOR A WALK?! Oh, jeez. It’s too much. I can’t handle it. I thought this day would never come. I mean, I have been waiting for what feels like a lifetime for this. TO GO OUT. YES I want to go out. I’m so excited! This is great. Woof.”
It’s like when you and your boo have been super busy and you really haven’t had any time for a nice night alone. A night out. At the end of the day, he comes over looking all cute and tells you that he’s made plans. It’s date night!!!!!
16. When we’re guilty
“Hi mom. How was work? What? Why are you mad? What happened? Your makeup? What is that? What is lipstick? No idea what you are talking about. What red stuff? Where? Show me? Hmmm, yeah, I don’t see it? Is it because I am a dog and I’m colorblind? It must be! But no, I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Oh honey, that’s too bad that you are out of cookies. I didn’t eat your cookies, silly. YOU ate the cookies in the pantry. I saw them last night and now they are gone. No! It wasn’t me! Oh, now I remember. You woke up in the middle of the night, inhaled all of them and you just don’t remember because you were sleepwalking! Silly goose.
15. When we’re exhausted
“That hike nearly killed me. I mean, the heat and the hills and it is just so freaking hot out there. I can’t move. I really can’t move. It was too much. I’m dying. You know what really did me in? That squirrel. Running after that squirrel was way too much for me. I should have let it go. Ugh. I’m getting old. Three years old is a lot in dog years. You’re a human, you don’t get it.”
You’re home after a very long day at work. You were supposed to go to the store to pick up more toilet paper but you were way too tired. Paper towels will have to do. Then you have to cook dinner, then shower, shave and get ready to go to Jenny’s birthday party.
14. When we’re entitled
“Sure mom. Go ahead and leave. I will hold down the fort. I’ll just be right here in my little doggy bed, minding my own business the whole time you are gone. My bed is so comfy so there is no need to lay in your bed. I will not even go near your beautiful, just-made, comfy, fluffy bed. Wow, look at all the pillows piled up. The smell of fresh sheets. I can barely contain myself. But I will of course!”
It’s like when your roommate comes home with a really cute and totally perfect for you dress. Don’t worry girl, I totally will not borrow that adorable, new, very expensive and looks-totally-amazing-on-me dress you just bought from Bloomies while you’re out of town. *Wink-wink*
13. When we’re embarrassed
“Ugh, I hate this stupid cone on my head. It’s so embarrassing and all the dogs are totally looking at me. And I need a haircut. Like, immediately. I look like a homeless dog. Is that what you want? For me to look like an injured disabled dog? Just fix me up a bit! The whole neighborhood is talking about how horrible I look.”
It’s like when you run into your ex boyfriend at the gym and you haven’t washed your hair in three days, you aren’t wearing any makeup and yesterday’s eyeliner is all over your face. He tells you with some hesitation that you “look great” and then you look and see a perfect specimen of a woman, his new girlfriend, coming around the corner. Full makeup. Full Lululemon. Full perfection.
12. When we’re lazy
“Yay! You’re home from work. Do I want to go for a walk, you ask? See, I’d love to go for a walk, but I am just so tired. You know what? I’d rather just sit on the couch with you and ‘lie like a dog’ as they say. Let’s just cuddle up and veg out. You know, today was rough. Walking around the house, sitting down and standing up. It’s a lot for a dog. Take a load off and join me.”
You know that feeling. You’re exhausted after working all day and your plan when you get off of work is to go to the gym. You have to go to the gym. You must go to the gym. But, what you wind up doing instead is eating junk food while watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and not moving all night.
11. When we’re overwhelmed
“First, mom left for work and I was stuck home alone all day. Then I found a way out sneak out back and saw a squirrel. Then I chased the squirrel here, there and everywhere and he got away. I was so close, but he got away. It was devastating. I failed. Then, I couldn’t sneak back into the house the way I got out and the sprinklers went off and I got soaking wet. It was horrible.”
You know those days. Your alarm didn’t go off, you didn’t have time to shower, you were late to work, you missed an important meeting, you were lectured by your boss and when you finally get home, you realize you’re all out of wine. Could this day get any worse?
10. When we’re hungover
“I got into the trash and ate all the food in there. It was amazing. There was leftover steak, some eggs shells, some bread and some yogurt residue left in the tub. I licked everything clean. After I got all the food, I then ate paper and plastic just because. I went on a rampage and I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop. I am an animal after all. And now I feel horrible and sick and my tummy hurts and all I want is a nap.”
9. When we are PMSing
“Look, lady, I know where the treats are so you better quit holding back. They are under the sink to the right and I know what kind there are, too. There are some chicken-flavored bones, some beef stick things and some other weird fish tasting nuggets. And I want the nuggets first and I want them now. So open the cabinet and hand them over and no one gets hurt.”
Listen, darling. I know you are in the mood for Thai, and I love you very very much. But I want Chinese, and I am PMSing so get me some Kung Pao Chicken or you are going to see the worst of me. And it’s not going to be pretty.
8. When we’re lovestruck
“Mom’s home. Kiss me. Kiss me! Can I lick you? Please? Love me. I missed you. Did you miss me? I love you. I missed you so much. You’re my favorite owner. My only owner and still my favorite. And I love you. Let me give you kisses and cuddle me and love me. My tail. My tail! I can’t stop my tail from wagging!”
After a long day hanging out by yourself, your boyfriend finally comes home. Hi! You’re home! Yay, you are finally home. I love you! Do you want dinner? Can I make you dinner? What would you like? Can you hug me? Wait, don’t let go! You’re the best! Seriously, the best one. Hi hi hi! You’re my favorite! Cuddle me!
7. When we’re ashamed
“Look, I did something bad and I don’t want to tell you about it because you’re not going to like it. I just want to start off by telling you that I love you so much. You’re funny, smart, silly, sweet and so nice to me and I love you. Thank you for always feeding me and rubbing my belly and giving me kisses. Did I mention that I love you? So, remember when you bought those new shoes with the red bottoms? They just looked so delicious. Like cherry pie. I needed to have them. I needed to chew them. I needed to eat them and I am so so sorry.”
Remember when you went to the mall and had a shoe accident? It wasn’t your fault. The woman at the store made you buy them. She MADE you. And then you spent almost a month’s rent on Christian Louboutins and then your dog ate them. Woops.
6. When we’re confident
“Oh, so you think you are going to run 5 miles without me? No way! I don’t think so. My little legs can handle it. I may be small, and my legs may be short, but I can do this. So get my leash, mom—I’ll show you how this is done.”
You spring out of bed early to hit the gym before work and you get there and you decide that you are feeling frisky so you take that boot camp class you’ve been too intimidated to take. Not only did you finish the class (yes, it was hard, but you did it!), but when you finished, you did 15 more pushups than you usually can! Yeah, that’s right. You are Superwoman! You got this!
5. When we’re anxious
“Mom, you’re here. Thank God! I thought you’d never be back. It seemed like forever. I ate your shoes. I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. And I ate the garbage and part of the couch and the rug and I pooped a little in the bathroom. I’m sorry but my tummy hurt because I thought you left me. But you’re home now and I can breathe. I love you. Don’t hate me”
It’s like when your boyfriend finally comes home after work kept him way longer than usual and his phone died so he couldn’t reach you to tell you when he would be there. And because you didn’t know when you would be home for dinner, you ate a piece of leftover pizza, and then ate another, and then another, and… when he finally showed up you were fat and full. Burp.
4. When we’re flirty
Are you the Energizer Bunny? ‘Cause you just keep going and going through my mind. Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus. Are you a cat? Because you’re purrrrrrfect. Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control ’cause I just saw a fox! Are you a sheep? ‘Cause your body is unbaaaaalievable. Babe, you are as cute as a puppy at an animal shelter, and I want to take you home! Wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch. Hi, can I domesticate you? I’ve been thinking about you…owl night long. Does your daddy have a pet owl? Because you are a hoot. If you were a fish tank, I would tap that! They say the early bird catches the worm, but girl, you can show up at any time and still get a bite.
3. When we’re hangry
“I’ll kill you. I will eat your arm and then eat the blanket off our bed. I’ll kill the neighbor’s dog. I’ll fish out and bite our pet fish. That squirrel outside? Toast! I’ll destroy my toy. Toys! I will destroy all of them. Tell that baby to come over and see what happens to her. I will eat you all. You have treats! You have treats! I want treats! Yum, yum yum, yum. I LOVE YOU!!!”
We all get a little hangry. I get it. Want to kill someone? Okay, so you get a lot hangry. Shhhhh, the food is coming. I promise it will be out soon. Hey everyone, why don’t you cut the conversation until she’s a few bites in, or she may bite your head off. Thank you.
2. When we’re optimistic
“I will catch that squirrel today. Today is the day. I can feel it. I really can. I will race him across the lawn, down the stairs and back through that little alley behind the house. We will get neck and neck and then I will get just ahead of him and quickly turn and corner that little sucker. And then I’ll make him my friend. Yup, that’s right. I am not going to hurt him. I just want him to be my friend.”
When you wake up, you should look in the mirror and see your fly self. Girl, you got this. You’re funny, smart, and you have a really cute butt. Like the cutest butt ever! Today is your day! Don’t forget it!
1. When we’re pensive
“Each blade of grass out there glistens in the rays of the morning sun. The morning dew slowly evaporating into the atmosphere. What if we are all simply just morning dew on giant blades of grass in a much bigger atmosphere. ‘What if?’ I ask myself as I see the next-door neighbor walk by. Do they know that I am in here? Alone and contemplating life and thinking about blades of grass? Wait, what? Am I okay? What is mom feeding me? Snap out of it, Rover. Come back to life. Okay, I think I’m back. Yeah, I’m back. Maybe I should just watch some Dr. Phil and take a nap?”
But seriously. Who came first, the chicken or the egg? And why do they call the place you park your car a driveway?
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