Toy manufacturers are sick! As in totally disturbed. At least, that's our feeling after collecting these images for you. We can't believe that the toys on this list actually existed, and in some cases, still do. And these aren't the toys sold at rare collectors shops or businesses geared toward adults. Oh no. These toys were and are sold at places like Toys 'R' Us... They were marketed to kids. That just makes this so much more shocking.
Seriously, some of these images are not for the faint of heart. The one thing that we can't understand is how the designers and manufacturers even got these ideas, to begin with. Not to mention, how the heck they were put into production. Anyway, just hold onto your butts. This is about to get real. Here are 20 toys that somehow ended up on Toys 'R" Us' shelves.
20 What Really Happened To The Dinosaurs...
Were they hit by a comet and slowly disappeared due to the change in climate? Did they all get ill? Nope. They hung out with Seth Rogen and James Franco too much. At least, that's what this triceratops looks like. Someone actually decided to make this lovable dinosaur appear as though they had too many eddies before watching Pee Wee's Playhouse on repeat for 7 and a half hours.
19 A Toy Only Found In Arkansas
Well, this is certainly morbid, isn't it? At the very least, it's fairly true to life for many of the inhabitants somewhere between New York and L.A. Still, it's not all that suitable as a children's toy. In fact, it's a little disgusting. Especially since that deer almost appears happy to be there. Whatever, it's probably Duck Dynasty-approved.
18 Looks Like E.T.'s A Bit Too Happy To Phone Home
We know it was a vital and iconic part of this classic film, but given the design of the character, it's not a good idea for a children's toy. In fact, it looks like a toy that the kids would mistakenly find under mommy's bed. You know, the one that would scar them for life? Oh well, at least she can use this in a pinch should she replace her $200 one.
17 Well, He Is Over 900 Years Old...
Poor Yoda! Not only did he get designed as if he were in the middle of an epileptic fit, but the packaging is even making fun of him. This totally inappropriate toy reminds us of the line from Return of the Jedi; "When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not". Well said, Super-Deformed Yoda. Well said!
16 We Don't Know About You, But We've Never Seen A Bear Do That... At Least... Not That Kind Of Bear
Oh, c'mon, you know exactly what kind of bear may just do this! Come down from your ivory tower! One thing we can all agree on is that this is a completely inappropriate toy for a child. We're not even sure what the purpose of these balls is. Is the bear supposed to shoot them out of his mouth? Because that doesn't really make matters any better.
15 Or... How About Not...
This is seriously messed up! Who wants to shave a baby!? Who would think anybody would want to shave a baby in the first place!? And who the heck said, "Yes, let's go with your shaving a baby idea"!? There are so many questions that this completely disturbing toy conjures including one very practical question; What kind of baby has this much hair to shave!?
14 They're Starting Younger And Younger These Days
Well, this is one way to start explaining where babies come from. Although, it's not that medically sound since it's impossible for a baby to have a baby... And that baby looks like it's in the fetus stage so how is it out already? ...You know what? This just isn't worth trying to rationalize. This is downright disturbing and should never have been created.
13 However You Interpret This Toy Name, It Doesn't Look Good For The Designer
Take this classic toy name literally or as a reference to Susie in Curb Your Enthusiasm, it's still inappropriate. Of course, it's likely that when this old toy was created, the designers weren't down with the lingo of the time. That often happened. But, it makes sense that we never see this game anymore. At least, not with the same name.
12 Teaching Kids To Be Sadists Before They're Five
What are they doing to Olaf!? His innards are becoming mush for the entertainment of children. How is this okay? If this doesn't scar children for life, it'll certainly make them into sadistic maniacs. Look, it makes perfect sense that the toy designers would incorporate an ice machine into their Olaf merchandise, but this is far from the right way to do it.
11 The Real Reason Why Women Love Baymax
We can't say it any better than this Snapchatter... Why couldn't they have found a better place to blow up the balloon? Every balloon that's shaped like a humanoid figure is going to have a similar problem. By now, manufacturers should have found an alternative placement. But instead, we're left with a Big Hero Six character who's definitely bigger than six...
10 We Think These Were Shipped To The Wrong Kind Of Toy Store
The only acceptable explanation for this is that these cuffs ended up at the wrong store. But, given the design of the packaging, that's not what happened. Therefore, we have to wonder what kind of pervy monster let these through. How are pink, frilly handcuffs appropriate for children? They're not. That's the answer.
9 Don't Do That To Winnie!
Someone obviously wanted to design a wholesome toy that involved Winnie The Pooh. They must have gone through a list of puritanical and acceptable games and concluded that ring toss was a good choice. The problem is where he decided to put the ring toss. Because the result is something that will scar anybody's childhood if they were born before the 1990s.
8 Understanding Subliminal Messaging
What can we say? Men are horrible. Yeah. There's no doubt that a man designed these toys. It just had to have been. Just look at the discrepancies in the traditionally female sword compared to the male one. Then, there's the somewhat obvious subliminal messaging that's sure to corrupt the minds of youngsters.
7 They Do Know What The Show's About Right?
Nerdy older men and women who collect action figures and never open the packaging would buy these. Children wouldn't. Actually... children shouldn't. A Heisenberg action figure, complete with gas mask and beakers, isn't exactly the toy most parents want their kids playing with. Anybody who's actually seen Breaking Bad would know that. But, nonetheless, these action figures got approved and stocked on the shelves of Toys 'R' Us.
6 Might Be A Bit Too On The Nose Here
This was an obvious Spongebob product, just not one that should have been marketed to children. Perhaps the few older fans of Spongebob who watch it after a few eddies at three in the morning would get a kick out of this. But given the fact that most fans of the show aren't old enough to shave, this just seems outrageously inappropriate. Still, we totally get the attempt.
5 When Logan Gets Lucky
Once again, we have another balloon fail. Only this one is sort of worse than the Baymax one given the sheer look of shock on Logan's face. It's the type of shocking expression that could either be from sheer terror or complete extasy. Either way, this is a disturbing toy for parents to see their kids wrapping their mouths around.
4 Well, This Is One Way To Teach Kids About What Happens To Their Food
Children need to learn about pee and poo someway. But cuddling up to them in the middle of the night may not be the answer parents are looking for. It doesn't exactly preach good hygiene, does it? Still, we can't fault these toy designers for trying to come up with something helpful even if their end result was total crap... pun intended.
3 Um... No Thank You...
Somehow the marketing team behind this doll new that some convincing needed to be done. The more intelligent way of selling this doll would be to... not sell it at all... That or redesign the highly disturbing face of this sadistic little creature. That's an absolute must unless they were trying to get it cast in the next Chucky movie.
2 Oh, Dora, Please Explore Your Way Out Of This One
Is Dora supposed to be in some sort of sensory deprivation tank? Honestly, we have absolutely no clue what this toy's supposed to be. The only thing we're sure of is that it looks like a schvonce. Yep. It's almost identical to a ginormous trouser snake. And this makes us very worried for every young Dora fan out there who may wrap their hands around it.
1 Not Sure We're Reading This Right
Why? ...Just... Why? Why is this a thing that people expect children to play with? We get that children find poop funny and they also generally like glitter... But combining the two just isn't right. Nor is it anatomically correct. This must be a sign that toy designers are swiftly running out of ideas. That or they're set on being completely inappropriate.