Classic 80s horror movies are some of the best movies in the world. They simultaneously contain an imaginative take on bad situations while maintaining this weird sort of optimism throughout the film. Sure, people receive gory ends from whatever monster they’re facing, but there’s usually at least one survivor. And 80s horror movies are inherently fun. We have never laughed more raucously than when sitting back to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th.
But all that campy good fun comes at a cost. No movies have as many plot holes as a good 80s horror movie. Seriously, these things are so riddled with plot holes, they’re the Swiss cheese of films. Nevertheless, these classics are near and dear to our heart, so let’s take a trip down memory lane. Read on if you want to know about major plot holes in 80s horror movies.
20 Summer Camp In The Middle Of Fall (Friday The 13th)
Friday the 13th is supposed to be about this killer (Jason Voorhees) who goes around ending people at summer camps. That’s the premise of the film. However, if you look at the clothing people are wearing and at the state of the trees nearby, autumn is clearly in full swing. Seriously, these camp counselors are wearing sweaters and long-sleeved shirts. What kind of summer camp is this?
19 Child On The Loose From School (Child's Play)
No one believes poor Andy that his doll is acting strangely. But the amount of inattention the adults around Andy dole out is insane. No mature human seems to care that Andy is walking across the city and through neighborhoods without any adult supervision. This is especially suspect when it’s technically still school hours. Forget Chucky. The real criminals are the adults around Andy who let him skip school unimpeded.
18 Christine's Existence Without Arnie (Christine)
The 80s horror film Christine is about a killer car that enacts revenge on anybody who hurts her or her owner. Christine possesses an ability to regenerate from any injuries. This is thanks to the love of an owner. So don’t try to tease that Christine is going to regenerate at the end of the movie. Arnie, her owner, is dead. Without that love, Christine should have remained a hunk of junk.
17 Whiskey Isn't Bourbon (The Shining)
Okay, so this isn’t a major plot hole. But it’s a hilarious mistake. (Or was it intentional?) Jack Torrance, in the midst of a hallucination courtesy of the Overlook hotel, orders a drink at the bar. He asks for a bourbon on the rocks. The imaginary bartender pulls out a very distinct-looking bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey, pours it into a glass, and offers it to Jack.
16 How Did They Leave The Keys Outside? (The Evil Dead)
Half the jump scares in The Evil Dead are major plot holes. That aside, after Cheryl’s unfortunate (that’s an understatement) time with the trees, she rushes back to the cabin. Even though the door is locked and everyone else is inside, the keys to the place are hanging outside. Yay that Cheryl made it back inside, but it’s a bit of a nonsensical moment.
15 Newt's Survival (Aliens)
Aliens would have us believe that Newt survived on her own before Ripley and the marines arrived. But the Aliens are extremely proactive when it comes to eradicating humans. No way should Newt have survived on her own. She nearly perished hundreds of times when the marines were there helping out. And yes, we’re saying Newt’s survival is a plot hole.
14 The Children Did Not Age (Children Of The Corn)
Children of the Corn creeps us out in a way that few horror movies can match. Having creepy kids form a strange cult is a lost art form. However, the beginning of the movie purportedly happened four years before the main events. If that’s the case, why haven’t any of the main children aged in those four years?
13 These Flamethrowers Are Useless (The Thing)
The main weapon used against the Thing in John Carpenter’s appropriately named The Thing is the flamethrower. Funnily enough, fire would not be enough to stop the assimilating properties of the Thing. While the heat might demolish the cells on the outside of a person’s body, cells within the interior would still persist and be available for the Thing to use.
12 A Bacteria Human Hybrid (The Fly)
Jeff Goldblum’s Seth Brundle horrifically merges with a fly in an experiment gone wrong in the film The Fly. However, if any living creature was enough to derail Brundle’s teleportation experiment, then it shouldn’t have been a simple fly that ruined everything. A bit of bacteria would have been enough.
11 When Can A Mogwai Really Eat? (Gremlins)
Who in their right mind would give a child a Mogwai for a pet? The rules for caring for one are so complicated. Plus, everyone remembers the infamous rule not to feed a Mogwai after midnight. However, that rule never states when a Mogwai can start eating. Isn’t any time after midnight considered…well, after midnight?
10 Burke's Facehugger Plan (Aliens)
The Aliens series has terrible human villains. That’s probably because the Xenomorphs themselves make for such terrifying antagonists, humans seem paltry in comparison. In Aliens, Carter Burke attempts to get Newt and Ripley facehugged by locking them in a room with some facehuggers. But what exactly was his plan after that? If he had succeeded in getting two facehugged people, how in the world was he planning to transport them?
9 The Real/Not Real Hotel Staff (The Shining)
It’s never clear in The Shining whether or not the Overlook Hotel can affect things in the real world. For the most part, its influence seems confined to the mental. However, when Jack Torrance got locked in food storage by his wife, the door gets unlocked by his favorite imaginary bartender. Presumably, this happened because the Hotel willed it so.
8 Where Are The Bodies? (Poltergeist)
The terrors of Poltergeist occurred because the Freelings’ house was built on an ancient burial ground. However, this neighborhood appears to be a swanky middle-class community. These houses have pools and basements. If the cemetery truly existed, bodies would have been found from the get-go.
7 The Human Fly Should Not Have Lived (The Fly)
Let’s return to poor Seth Brundlefly. His life as a human/fly hybrid was shortened after a shotgun blast to the face. However, due to extreme chromosomal differences, Brundlefly should not have existed at all. If Seth and the fly’s chromosomes got all mixed up, their resulting existence would have been extremely short. That means as soon as the telepod doors opened, Brundlefly should have died.
6 Everything Has Water In It (Gremlins)
Mogwai can’t have water, otherwise they turn into Gremlins. But holy freakin’ heck, dude, how is that even possible? Earth’s very atmosphere contains water vapor. Are Mogwai not able to breathe? And nearly any liquid in existence contains some water. Juice? Has water. Milk? Has water. Soda? Water.
5 Nancy's Ten-Minute Booby-Trap Session (A Nightmare On Elm Street)
Kudos to Nancy for booby-trapping her house for Freddy’s return. That took a lot of chutzpah. We would have gone to bed, hidden under the covers, and accepted our fate. However, the film would have us believe that Nancy did all this under ten minutes. Ten minutes might seem like a long time, but it’s not long enough to have a phone call with your father, rig up some traps, talk to your mom, and then go to bed.
4 Turning Out The Lights (An American Werewolf In London)
An American Werewolf in London contains one of the best werewolf transformation scenes in the history of cinema. Shortly after, it contains a goofy plot hole. During David’s transformation, he was just chilling, so the lights in his place were all on. When he gets a phone call afterwards, the lights in the place are off. That would mean werewolf David, in the throes of his werewolf-ness, took the time to make sure the lights were flicked off.
3 Splitting Up In A Horror Movie (The Thing)
For the most part, the characters in The Thing are pretty smart, at least according to 80s horror movie standards. The one thing they fail at is sticking together. After they are aware of the Thing’s existence and what it can do, the group are so lax about their safety. Mac, Garry, and Nauls still part ways knowing how the Thing operates. Oof.
2 The Ground Floor Should Be Gone (Aliens)
The first Alien movie established that Alien blood is highly corrosive. The second Alien movie also emphasizes this after some Xenomorph blood gets on a marine. If this is true, then that initial shoot-out in the Xenomorph nest should have corroded that whole area. The acid-blood would have burned through the walls, floor, ceiling, you name it.
1 Boom Goes The Hotel (The Shining)
The manager of the Overlook Hotel makes a point of telling Jack Torrance that he has to keep an eye on the boilers. Without proper attention, they run the risk of exploding and destroying the hotel. One, we never see Jack pay any attention to the boilers. Two, once he’s a popsicle in the maze and his wife and son are gone, those boilers are mega-unattended. The Overlook should have been demolished at the end of The Shining.