It's not easy being an antisocial person, what with the world being so full of people and all. Oh, it's not like you wish anyone harm or anything. Or maybe you do. What do we know? But that's beside the point. The point is that even if you were the only person on earth, you would still be just as reluctant to initiate social contact as you are right now. And it's that disinclination to be around people that defines you.
You're antisocial and you're proud of it! But not like antisocial parade proud. You don't need to get together with other antisocial people. After all, socializing is the very thing that you're against. Instead, you prefer to tout your antisocial-ness via your internet connection. From the safety of your own home, you enjoy conversing with your online friends about just how truly awful people are. You know what else you like to do? Look at memes. That's why you're going to love this post, which includes 20 memes only antisocial people will understand.
20 You can never hang out. Ever.
You may be an antisocial people hater, but you still have friends. You hand-selected them like grapes for a fine wine. Your friends are also like wine in that they make you want to drink. You love your friends. Well, at least, you love them in so much as you are capable of loving them, being the antisocial person that you are. Still, the feelings you have for your squad are deep and true.
But be all that as it may, hanging out with your buddies leaves you feeling tired and drained. For you, attending a get-together of any kind is exhausting. It takes a week to recover from such trauma. Which is why you avoid hanging out with your friends as much as possible.
So you always have an excuse to get out of plans. Maybe you have to clean your house. Maybe you have a headache scheduled for this weekend. Or maybe you need to rest for twenty hours every day.
19 You relish the time you spend alone
When you manage to wriggle out of scheduled plans, it produces a natural high. It's invigorating. It makes you appreciate the time that you spend by yourself all the more. You are a junkie and alone time is your drug, and you would do anything, anything, to get a taste of it.
You relish the time that you spend all by your lonesome. After all, you can't be by yourself all the time. You have to come into contact with other people when you go to work, when you go to the grocery store. Heck, the minute you step outside of your door, there are people there, waiting to ruin your day.
That's why you need as much time to yourself as possible. It allows you to recharge your batteries, which, in turn, gives you the strength to deal with people later on. For you, alone time isn't just a luxury. It's a necessity.
18 You put an "I" in "teamwork"
Speaking of work, that sh*t is exhausting. Not because of the work itself, but because of all of the people that you have to deal with. Accounting, sales, human resources—there are just so many people! It's unbelievable. As bad as having to talk to a bunch of humans on a regular basis is, do you know what's even worse? Group projects.
Managers sure do love the whole "teamwork" concept. And why? As long as the work gets done, who cares if it's done as a group? Teamwork is just an excuse for superfluous socializing, as far as you're concerned. Which is why you have taken care to establish yourself as the loner of the office.
You don't do teamwork. That might be alright for all of those schmucks around the water cooler, but it's not alright for you. You do your job and you do it in such a way that you eliminate unnecessary contact with your coworkers.
17 You're not hurting anybody, you just want to be alone
There is a certain stigma that comes with being an antisocial person. People think that you're antisocial. And you are. But you don't like the way they say it. To them, antisocial is slang for "creep," "weirdo," and "serial killer." All of those descriptions are false, and if you didn't want to avoid them so badly, you would go right up to those people and tell them what's what.
See, it's not so much that you are an antisocial person. It's more that you are just pro-solitude. The world is a very loud place. People are always talking, and laughing, and, ugh! It's just too much for antisocial you! You need a place where you can ponder and reflect. You need your quiet time so you can formulate theories and explore your opinions. Being antisocial isn't necessarily a slight to other people. It's just that you require solitude to discover yourself.
16 You're livin' the dream
"A dream is a wish the heart makes." You truly believe that. So when you dreamed about becoming a recluse with access to the internet and an intolerance to exposure to the sunlight, you decided that you would do whatever it took to make that wish a reality.
It was touch and go for awhile there. You didn't know if you'd ever be able to become the sort of antisocial person that, deep down in your heart, you knew that you wanted to be. You spent hours, nay, days alone. You avoided people like someone who hates raisins avoids raisins. You committed yourself to the art of being antisocial, and you threw your very soul into your work.
When you emerged from your spirit quest, you realized that you had been successful. By cultivating your sheer loathing of other human beings, you proved to the world that you really can become whatever you want as long as you set your mind to it.
15 You wonder why you don't have friends . . . and then you remember
You hate other people, that's for sure. But sometimes, when you've been alone for a little too long, you start to wonder what it's like to not be antisocial. What is it like to be able to hang out with your friends without getting tired? Heck, you would just like to know what it's like to have friends. Say, why don't you have friends?
You take this question and turn it over in your mind. Why is it that you are such a loner? You seem like a pretty cool guy/gal. You bet that people would love to be your friend! So why don't you have any besties? As you consider all the variables that influence this question, suddenly it dawns on you. You don't have any friends because you avoid social contact, and because you tell other people to eff off anytime they try to talk to you. Ah. That explains it.
14 Drama never touches you
Drama? Pfft! You don't have time for drama. In fact, you're drama intolerant. As the delicate antisocial person that you are, you avoid drama because it upsets your stomach and gives you gas. No. No, wait. Sorry, that's lactose intolerance. But the fact remains that drama is just way too much for you to handle, and the reason why boils down to the fact that you just don't give a sh*t.
See, drama is so . . . petty. Who cares if Sandra is going out with Libby's ex boyfriend? And why should anybody care if Martin and Kate get back together? You couldn't care less about any of that. You know the truth. You know that drama is inconsequential and shallow. Which is why you always feel fantastic when other people's lives are in shambles. Not because they're suffering, but because drama knows better than to lay its hands on you.
13 You're a pretty straightforward person
Look, it's very simple. Antisocial people aren't confusing. They aren't the dark, mysterious men and women that the movies make them out to be. It's not like they have a secret to hide. They don't avoid other people because they're trying to conceal the fact that they're superheroes, or something. The reason that they are so solitary is because they hate people. That's it. They aren't conundrums. They aren't enigmas. They just don't like you. Antisocial people don't need you (or anybody else, for that matter) to solve them like some kind of riddle. They just need you to buzz off.
Some people think that if you're antisocial, you must have a reason to be antisocial. You must be very lonely and very broken inside. You need help. You need someone to love you and to break you out of your shell. It couldn't possibly just be that you can't stand the thought of human contact. That would be impossible.
12 You're not looking for companionship
Anytime you get together with your family, your aunts, uncles, and grandparents bombard you with questions like, "How come you don't have a boy/girlfriend, yet?" and, "When will you be tying the knot?" It's mega annoying. It makes you want to say, "Seriously, guys? You've known me since forever. You should have caught on to the fact that I absolutely hate other human beings. The only reason I haven't ditched you people is because we're related, and sometimes you give me presents."
The truth is that you don't really need someone else in order to feel complete. In your experience, other people only serve to disappoint and annoy you. You don't need a, what do they call them? A soulmate. You are your own soulmate. You are an independent, social-loathing individual who don't need no man/woman. You're single and loving it. And if other people don't like that, then that's their problem.
11 But you would kinda like to meet someone as antisocial as you
Okay, okay. We know what you're thinking. You're thinking that antisocial people are hypocrites. First they say they never want to be around people, then they say they do want to hang around people. Antisocial people are so fickle. Make up your minds already! Which one is it?
It's not one or the other. It's both. Antisocial peeps do want to be alone most of the time. And they do hate social interaction with every fiber of their beings. But sometimes they can't help but wonder what it would be like to share the quietude with someone. They have thought about how nice it might be to sit in the silence with someone who values it as much as they do.
So we guess what antisocial people really want is to be left alone ninety-five percent of the time, and to spend the remaining five percent of the time sitting quietly with another antisocial person.
10 Socializing is the bane of your existence
As an antisocial person, you are adept in the skill of avoiding social gatherings. You keep a stockpile of excuses with you at all times, so as never to be caught off guard. And you know how to hide from familiar people when you see them out in public like it's nobody's business. However, the plain and simple fact is that you can't avoid all of the people all of the time. You hate that it has to be that way. But be that way, it must.
Sometimes, even though it goes against everything you stand for, you have to attend a social event. Family gatherings, office parties, weddings, baby showers—your friends, family, and coworkers are always thinking up new ways to make you suffer. Those bastards.
Needless to say, anytime there's a party, you don't want to be there. So you just sit there awkwardly, like this pug with a pained expression on his face, until you think it's okay to leave.
9 You hate people
Going through this article, you've probably learned a thing or two about what makes antisocial people tick. You've learned that they crave solitude and that they prefer the company of their own thoughts to the insignificant chattering of others. All of this new information has been enlightening. But we're about to let you in on a secret about antisocial people that, up until this point, no one has ever known:
Antisocial people hate other people.
Astounding, we know. Who would ever have thought that antisocial people would be so antisocial? No one could have predicted this turn of events. And yet, now that we are faced with this reality, we must attend to it. Antisocial people hate other people. And that includes you. Now, you don't have to like it and you don't have to feel the same way. It doesn't matter. Antisocial people literally couldn't give a rat's ass about how you feel, as long as you don't bother them.
8 Even if you don't hate them, you're ambivalent about them
Of course, it takes a whole lot of energy to actively hate every single person on the face of the planet. Antisocial people may despise you. But they aren't supervillians, you know. They don't have the kind of stamina required to go around scorning and despising other people. That sounds taxing and, let's face it, most antisocial people don't have the time or desire to do that.
Earlier, we made out like antisocial people hate everybody. But that's only half true. Mostly they just feel ambivalent about other people. See, antisocial people only truly care about a handful of people. Everyone else? They don't give AF. So unless you are trying to get them to do things, like attend social gatherings or work with other people, they won't really hate you, they'll just kind of hate you. Do you see what we're trying to say, here? Look, it doesn't matter. Just keep away from the antisocial people. They don't have time for you.
7 People prevent you from leaving your house
To the antisocial person, being able to stay inside and do nothing is similar to what it must feel like to stumble upon an oasis in the middle of a desert. Staying indoors creates an air of calm and ease, mingled with excitement and fervor. To be alone in their own home is exactly the thing that antisocial people crave the most.
But even the most antisocial person will grow weary of this set up in time. Everybody needs a change of scenery now and then. So when enough time has passed, and an antisocial person is feeling energetic enough to do so, they will scrounge up the courage to go outside.
They admire the way the wind caresses their face. They delight in the pleasant songs of the birds. They breathe deeply the fragrances of the flowers. Then, one of their neighbors waves at them, and the antisocial person turns around and goes marching back inside.
6 You spend most of your time in your head
Like we said before, antisocial men and women don't really need other people. They can have a great time all on their own. They don't need friends to provide their input on certain topics. They don't need to hear the opinions of their family members. Chances are the antisocial person in question has already considered every variable and every detail of the issue they're concentrating on, and they have likely thought up every possible outcome, too.
Antisocial people spend the majority of their time in their heads. In the safety of their minds, they are able to roam countless theories and to explore innumerable ideas. They get lost in their thoughts the same way that nature loving hipsters get lost in the woods. Their minds keep them very busy, even when they don't look like they're doing anything at all. So when people interrupt them? It makes them irrationally angry.
5 You don't fit in and you ain't even tryin' to
Swag? YOLO? Selfies? What the hell is all of this!?! As an antisocial person, you just don't get this generation. You don't fit in with other people in your age group. In fact, you don't fit in with anyone. And you're not going to try to, either. You're happy to be a square peg because you don't feel obligated to fit into the round hole that is society.
As an antisocial person, you don't really care about the things that society thinks you should care about. You don't care about Instagramming your Starbucks. You don't lose sleep over how many likes your Facebook posts get. You don't have time for this swag nonsense. You don't upload selfies, you don't have a stance on whether a celebrity should or shouldn't have gotten plastic surgery—none of that matters. No. The only thing that is of any consequence is that you just bought a six-disc set of The Avengers.
4 Everybody else is vacuous
Yeah, you don't understand people. Everybody talks so much, but they never say anything. Everybody is so shallow, so vacuous. Even though you're antisocial, and you have no real desire to interact with other humans, you do feel a bit desolate sometimes. When you deal with superficial people all day long for years on end, you begin to wonder if there are any other people out there who feel the way that you feel.
You're not sure about the soulmates concept, but you always keep your eyes peeled for birds who have the same kind of feathers as you. Every time that you meet someone new, you carefully test your toes in the waters of their intelligence. Are they capable of comprehending your deep thoughts? Usually the answer is no. But sometimes the answer is yes, and when that happens, antisocial people have no idea how to handle it because, again, they're antisocial, and dealing with people is not their strong point.
3 You know that life in plastic is not fantastic
This is a Barbie world, and it is just teeming with Barbie girls. These superficial people traipse around perfectly content to keep tabs on celebrities and to mimic their style. They never question why. They never take the time to reflect and consider the ins and outs of how our society is set up. They just go with it. It's weird.
Ironically enough, it's these Barbie girls who end up thinking that you're the weird one. Why? Well, because you don't go with the flow. You don't do what everyone else does. You don't have a ton of friends, or go to parties, or keep up with the latest celebrity gossip. You deviate from the norm, and that makes you different. According to society, different is weird.
Fortunately, you don't care about society. So you don't mind being weird. Which is why you would much rather be a Wednesday Addams than a stereotypical Barbie girl.
2 You're never lonely
"Don't you want to have friends?" "Why don't you ever go out with anyone?" "Don't you ever feel lonely?"
Antisocial people deal with questions like these on a daily basis. Okay, well, technically it's not on a daily basis, because they try to avoid talking to people as much as they can. But still, any time antisocial people come into contact with other human beings, you can bet your life that these kinds of questions will be tossed around. Fortunately, the antisocial people have finally come forward with an answer to these questions.
The answer is no. No to all of those questions. No, we don't want friends. No, we don't want to go out with anyone. No, we never feel lonely. Remember how we said that antisocial people spend most of the time in their own head? Well, they're actually pretty comfy in there. Sadly, there just isn't room for anyone else.
1 You know you're the sh*t
Antisocial. What a beautiful word. And when we wave our wands over it, a la Tom Riddle in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, we can transform the word into an even greater phrase. Remove a letter here, add a space there, and the word "antisocial" becomes "ain't I so cool."
For antisocial peeps, "ain't I so cool" is a rhetorical question. The answer is, obviously, hell yes you are so cool. You are the coolest. It's not like you have a chip on your shoulder or anything. You totally do, but that's not why you think that you're the best. You think you're the best because all evidence points to that conclusion.
Think about it: you know you better than anyone. You have your sense of humor. You like the same foods, the same shows, and the same music as you. You don't need anyone else to feel the same way about your stuff. As long as you meet your own approval, that's good enough for you.