Everyone rides the struggle bus in this life at some time or another, so failing is ultimately just a part of life. Sometimes failure isn't actually a bad thing - it's often required in order for you to learn a lesson and eventually succeed. Take walking, for example. It takes a lot of face plants before a baby figures out how to successfully move on two legs. Roller skating and riding a bike are the same way! Achieving resilience in the face of failure is the epitome of success, therefore the sweetest victories are often the most difficult.
ALL THAT BEING SAID, sometimes failures are just painful and pointless and make you look like the idiot that you probably are. Not every fail leads to a pot of gold at the end of the metaphorical rainbow. Sometimes people just make dumb AF choices that they'll forever regret.
Take these guys, for example. Here are 20 people who have already reached their limit of fails this year (we hope).
20 Feline Unit
I know it's hard to resist a cute, fluffeh kitty, but damn!
After seeing this you best believe I looked it up! This dude's name is Daniel Pinedo Velapatino, and he was wanted for use of illicit substances, theft, and a hit-and-run in Florida (GASP!). In his quest to avoid the cops, he talked himself into a sweet (and naive AF) old lady's home by saying he was a landscaper and just needed a glass of water. When she obliged, she noticed Velapatino was just laying on the floor, playing with her adorable little kittehs. His behavior seemed odd, so the woman called the cops and he was eventually captured. HAHAHA! You wouldn't think some house cats would lead to the capture of a wanted criminal, but there you have it. Cats may be a-holes, but we should probably consider having them in the police force. Those bastards can easily take a human down.
19 Yeah, About That...
Girl, if you want to impress a guy by claiming to be a "hot nerdy type," at least pick up the right controller! Any gamer on Earth can tell the difference between an Xbox controller and a PlayStation! LAWD HAVE MERCY, do your homework and look for the controller with the big X in the middle! The "SONY" should have been a dead giveaway!
This is what happens when people try too hard. Ladies, if you're thirsting for a nerd, I'm sure they'd be happy to have you whether you're a gamer or not. There's no need for this kind of deception! Guys can handle it if you're not into video games, but serious gamers are NOT into posers. Plus the nails are a dead giveaway, let's be honest.
18 I Believe The Pronoun You're Looking For Is "They"
If you're one of those people who doesn't believe in "assigning" a gender to a baby when it's born and you feel like heading to a Pride Parade to advocate your beliefs, you should at the very least get your damn sign right. I don't know where this person is from (Portland, I guarantee it),
but the last time I checked, the pronoun "his" is used for males only in all fifty states.
The whole pronoun thing confuses the crap out of me, but I believe the correct one to use in this instance would be "they." I mean I'm no expert, but it's really not rocket science. Neither "his" nor "her" can be put on this sign if you want it to make any sense.
17 That's Not How It Works
By and large, Americans aren't that well traveled. I'm not making that up, either, because only 36% of Americans own a passport. It's not that Americans don't take vacations at all, it's just that the majority of Americans prefer to vacation within the United States. As a result, when Americans DO leave the country, they are often faced with many strange and unusual things that they don't quite know what to do with. Case in point: this American assuming a public bidet was a tiny water fountain. *gag*
In case you are as clueless as this lady, a "bidet" is a type of sink often used throughout Europe and Asia for washing your down-lows. Yep, that's right. All manner of junk has probably been washed in that bidet, and that woman is leaning down and drinking from it. That's the worst kind of fail there is. You can't come back from that.
16 MY LASAGNA
There are actually two fails in this picture. The first one would be this person's misspelling of the word "lasagna." If you're going to brag about your culinary skills on Snapchat, at least make sure you spell lasagna right. The second one is...obvious.
It's a damn shame when a lasagna hits the floor.
Sure, it's not as bad as mistaking a public bidet for a water fountain, but a good lasagna takes a lot of time and effort. I rarely make lasagna because I feel like I could binge watch an entire season of Stranger Things faster than I could assemble it. There are like a million steps and I don't have time for that crap! Plus lasagna gives me mad gas. Just thought you should know.
15 YOU HAD ONE JOB
It sucks when someone else's stupidity ruins your plans.
I'm not sure what company is responsible for this COMPLETE FAIL, but obviously it had to involve more than one person. Think about it. Someone read these instructions, printed them out, and put them on the box. How many people saw this box before it went out? Was there NO ONE who second-guessed this decision? Surely the delivery guy could have seen this and thought...uh oh. I better peel this sucker off or this lady's surprise party will be ruined. But NOPE.
I'm not sure who failed worse – the person who stuck this sticker on the box or the delivery guy who completely ignored the instructions that were meant for him. Either way, it sucks.
14 Online Order Gone Wrong
I'm not sure who to give the fail award to in this case, but either way, someone f'd up and needs to be held accountable.
There are two possible scenarios here. One is that the guy who ordered these shoes didn't notice that they were "youth" size before adding them to his cart. Little tiny kid shoes look exactly like grown up shoes these days, so he was probably wondering how he got such a bargain! This is something my dad would do.
Dads can't be trusted with online shopping.
The other scenario is that this was a mistake on the part of the company, but I have a feeling this was just a classic dad fail. Either that or some guy at Nike is trolling the shipping department and replacing all adult orders with tiny baby versions. Which is pretty funny, TBH.
13 Wasting Money Like
Everyone has lost money to a vending machine because of some malfunction, but this person really should have learned their lesson the first time. When something gets stuck in a vending machine, there are two options- you either shake the machine until your food (hopefully) goes free, or you just give up and move on with your life. I guess this person mistakenly thought they could outsmart the machine. Oh, foolish mortals.
This isn't your average vending machine, because that's a fancy fruit drink and a freakin' baguette! By my calculations this guy probably spent AT LEAST $500 trying to receive nourishment before he failed miserably (I might be overestimating, I don't know). His first mistake was ordering a baguette from a machine. That's nasty. This was probably just God helping him avoid salmonella.
12 CLOSE ENOUGH
Wow, guys. It's a sad situation when you waste two hours of your life on a project because you misheard the topic instructions. This kid's face speaks for us all.
I have so many questions, and it's killing me because I know I'll never get the answers I seek.
First of all, what class was this project for? The topics of "Euthanasia" and "Youth in Asia" couldn't possibly be assigned in the same class, right? That's like your science teacher assigning you a project on Great Expectations! Not only that, but wouldn't these guys wonder why they were being asked to write about such a random topic? I'm sure the youth in Asia are doing just fine, thank-you-very-much. You'd think they would have asked a few simple (clarifying) questions before putting in two hours of work and creating a Powerpoint presentation, but I guess some people are just destined to fail at life.
RIP, common sense.
11 Selfie Fail
I've seen these kind of pictures before, but I've never seen someone get so...creative.
I'll never understand why people lie about this crap. Does this guy think he looks hot sleeping? Does he even have a "bae" in real life? Is he lying about one thing, or is he lying about both things? Hell, it doesn't even matter. This guy has turned himself into some kind of human pretzel in an attempt to fool his followers and that's just sad. I'm looking at his feet and I'm getting completely grossed out, by the way. Why do his toes look razor sharp? Are those nails? Ughhhh. At least they help his grip.
When you get caught posting this kind of thing there is no coming back from it. This guy will forever be known as the guy who faked a picture with his nasty-ass claw feet. Way to go down in history.
10 I Can't Imagine
Who is behind this disgrace of a Snapshot? Did this girl ask a friend to take this pic because she thought she looked hella cute curling her hair, or was this friend just making a joke? I guess we'll never know. Either way, she seems to be completely clueless. I wonder how long it took before she realized something was wrong (we probably don't want the answer to that).
Maybe she wasn't really curling her hair to begin with!
She might have just wanted to low-key pose for a picture because she was really feeling herself that day. I guess it's possible, but my gut is telling me that both the person taking this shot and the person with the curling iron are both just dumb, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. Either way, this is a pretty embarrassing snapchat fail.
9 STEALTH LEVEL: Zero
Sometimes I"ll see a hot guy in a public setting and I'll think about taking a picture for my single friends, but then a little something called "basic human decency" stops me and I put my phone away before I turn into a creeper. Obviously this person didn't listen to the still small voice inside of them and they just went ahead and took the picture anyway. Creeper status CONFIRMED!
If you are going to try and secretly take a picture of someone, at least make sure that you've got your stealth hat on. This means silencing the phone and turning off the flash, but not everyone is ready for the secret service. If this girl was a spy for the United States we'd all be screwed.
Dads are notorious for throwing their kids around like stuffed animals and attempting to defy gravity with their tiny little bodies, but this is taking it a little too far. Thank God for foam pits, or this little girl's last words would have been, "DADDY, NO!"
Why do men attempt crap like this? It's almost like they're biologically engineered to do stupid crap, like testing gravity on their kids.
You know this little girl is never going to trust her dad again.
Every time he says "it'll be fine, I've got ya" she's going to remember the moment when she fell off of her dad's shoulders and went face first into a foam pit. In case she DOES happen to forget, this image will forever be floating around on the Internet to remind her.
7 ...Or Not
Oh Dear Lord In Heaven.
This is the kind of fail that makes me want to shrink this girl into a baby and stuff her back into her mother's womb so she can start all over again. Is that weird? Maybe, but I see no other way to fix this level of stupid.
"Big Ben" is a nickname for the giant bell in London's famous clock tower, and it has been there since 1859. It has been referred to (and pictured) in countless books and movies, which is why it is now one of the most recognizable symbols in the world. Unbelievably, this girl (who is obviously older than 6) is getting Big Ben confused with the London Eye, which didn't open to the public until the year 2000. Please God, don't let this girl be American (she's American, I can feel it in my colonial bones).
This is like an adult mistaking the Statue of Liberty with the Empire State Building! It doesn't seem possible, but yet...
6 Unsolved Mysteries
How did this even happen?
This woman clearly ran her car straight into a light post in the middle of an empty parking lot, and thankfully some hero thought to document this "ultimate fail" for all of us to enjoy. It looks like she's talking on the phone to someone about the incident, but I just wish I knew what she was saying.
"That light post just came out of nowhere! It literally just jumped in front of my car!"
Light posts can be dangerous, y'all. You never know when they're going to cross the road.
In all seriousness, this woman had to be either under the influence or texting while driving. How else could you miss a large, stationary object in a parking lot? Wonders never cease.
5 Immediate Regret
It hurts my middle-class heart to even look at this picture. I don't know what to grieve over first – the beautiful mantle, the big ass TV, or the inevitable damage to that beautiful hardwood floor. Seriously, my legs are shaking in their Uggs and I'm about to spill my latte. IT'S TOO MUCH!
Someone really didn't think this through and it's a wonder they even attempted it at all. Look at the size of that TV! Why would anyone attempt to balance that thing on the mantle, unless the mantle itself was made of stone? Hell, even if it was made of stone, why wouldn't you want it above the mantelpiece? I can't even imagine how much $$$ they lost with this fail, but I'm sure it was considerable.
4 GIT ER DONE
This has got to be a joke, right? No one in their right mind would put a bar of soap in a liquid soap dispenser, but then again this list has proven that anything is possible...
When someone told this janitor to put the soap in the soap dispenser, I guess he figured he'd get the job done, come hell or high water.
Maybe he was out of liquid soap, but hell, that wasn't going to stop him! At least you know this bar of soap isn't going to end up on the floor! Maybe this was his way of protecting people from a rogue soap bar, so I guess we can consider him a modern day hero! Plus bars of soap leave nasty soap scum all over the counters, and who wants that? It's better this way.
3 When Life Hands You Lemons, Take A Snapchat
I know this might sound weird to many of you, but ladders are one of my biggest fears (second only to squirrels). This is literally my worst nightmare.
If this did happen to me, I wouldn't be taking a clever snapchat! I'd be screaming at the top of my lungs like I was dying! After a few hours of that, I'd figure my time had come and I'd carve my last will and testament into the roof shingles with my fingernails. I'd probably fashion a "Wilson" out of the Direct TV satellite to keep me company before I died.
Not this guy, though! He doesn't seem too worried about getting down, probably because he has his phone on him. Which begs the question...who in the hell brings a phone up with them on the roof? Is it common practice to clean your gutters and check Facebook at the same time? Whatever, at least he could document this fail for us all to enjoy.
2 It's The Effort That Counts
I once got a Chia Pet for Christmas when I was about 10-years-old, and I never could get that thing to grow right. It looked very much like this mess of a Bob Ross. It seemed so simple, too.
I didn't know that Chia Pet had a Bob Ross model with an official Bob Ross signature! This is clearly a top of the line product (that they probably got for 19.99 with FREE SHIPPING), so it's a shame this person failed so miserably.
I'd never fail Bob like that.
Why is there hair growing on Bob's neck? For the love of God, this person had ONE JOB! The seeds are only supposed to go on the TOP of his head. This looks like Bob Ross is emerging from a jungle after 26 years of living off of bark and berries.
1 Sorry, Dad
To all of those overprotective dads out there who still wear flat billed caps and call their friends "brah"...this kind of crap doesn't work. This mess of a t-shirt looks just as cringe-worthy and useless as his daughter's baby daddy.
Obviously this guy used this shirt as a way to brag about his overblown physique, but clearly he's not as intimidating as he thought he was. Did he seriously think his Crossfit bod would protect his daughter from pregnancy? His derp face tells me that's exactly what he thought. Sigh.
Listen up, dads, and learn from this guy's mistake! If the only thing standing between your daughter and a teen pregnancy is a lame-ass shirt, then you better start buying a crib for the guest room. #RealTalk
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