Everyone has their own ideas, but not everyone has the ability to sort them out. Inventors are often praised for their genius, but not everything that they come up with is the next light bulb. Some stuff? Well, let's just say we all would have been better off had it never come into existence at all. While it takes some kind of creative intellect to dream up newfangled devices that make our lives easier, it takes a whole other kind of intellect entirely to be able to determine which ideas are worth pursuing and which ones should be jotted down on a piece of paper, crumpled up into a ball and tossed into a fiery inferno.
Not every idea that pops up into a person's noggin ought to be shared with others, let alone brought into fruition, but, sadly, not everyone realizes this. And, so, as a result, we're often blighted with the laughable, pathetic non-successes of self-described geniuses. We're happy these people have got their creative juices going, but they need to reign it in a little bit. Here are 20 people who are no longer allowed to come up with their own ideas from now on. Trust us, this will be better for everyone in the long run.
20 We've found our new look
Oh, puh-lease. Like these people have never seen Dave Chapelle's substance addicted character, Tyrone Biggums, and not thought to themselves, "Huh. That fella is one snappy dresser." Sure, sure, the guy's got a problem, but fashion definitely is not one of them, and that's why Banana Republic has made the wise decision to emulate his style with their own line of clothing.
We have to say, we think this move is really going to pay off for that clothing retailer. We wonder how they managed to do this, what with copyrights and all? Oh, well, that's not our problem. Now, which way to the red beanies?
19 The mug that says,"Look, don't touch"
This mug is a load of bull nonsense. That finger loop is too small for Thumbelina, what makes them think a grown man will be able to drink his coffee out of that thing without spilling it all over the place? Somebody's going to end up getting scalded by this stuff.
This is a sick joke making that mug impossible to lift. The only way we see of getting that coffee out of there is with a straw, and that's not a dignified way of drinking a cup of joe. Whoever came up with the too small coffee cup handle needs a time out to think about what they've done.
18 And that "somethin" was making us throw up
What does this person want, an award? What, do they want a trophy that says, "1st Place Winner of the Made Us Throw Up All Over Ourselves Award"? Because we've got some news for you, pal, we're not rewarding you for that.
Cake icing on pizza is a circle of heck we didn't know existed.
Just because someone stumbles upon something that's never been done before doesn't mean that something needed to be done at all. Maybe everyone else in history was capable of doing said thing, too, but they realized it was a bad idea and had the good sense not to go there. Ever think of that?
17 He's not wrong, but that doesn't make him right
Well, this person's right. Telling a spooky story when a police officer shines a flashlight in your face isn't illegal. But, we've played this scenario out in our head, and while it probably won't get you arrested, it will make the officer suspect that your brand new Banana Republic outfit is no coincidence.
Sure, this sounds like a fun idea now, but just you wait. You start telling that cop a ghost story, he's going to think you're hopped up on a bunch of whatever the kids these days get hopped up on. You're going to wind up in the slammer, for sure. And when you do, don't call us.
16 hAs ScIeNcE gOnE ToO fAr?!?!
Science is a mystery to us. The most we gleaned from our science classes back in school was that if you mix vinegar and baking soda, you can make a tiny volcano. Not sure why you'd ever need to know that, though.
This mollusk mental manipulation must stop at once, do you hear us, science?!
Here we were, thinking scientists were putting their time and effort into solving mankind's many problems, but instead, science was just horsing around. All those diseases that need curing and all those environmental issues that need solving, yet that's what you're focusing on? Erasing snail memories? Come on, science, you're better than that.
15 Pasta tears
While we would agree with this person that macaroni tears are indeed a cause for celebration, the concept of macaroni tears is itself a cause for concern. Honestly, who wouldn't want to have an unlimited supply of pasta at their disposal, especially when they're feeling down? That would make eating your feelings so much easier!
But still and all, macaroni tears? That's not an idea that you should be sharing with other people. Unless that's something weird that happened to you in a dream, just tuck it under your hat and move on. This is one idea that never should have seen the light of day.
14 That's not a husky, it's a plucked turkey
When you take your dog to be groomed, you expect to pick up a less shaggy, cleaner version of them when you return. What you don't expect is to be told is that your once noble looking best friend turned into a plucked, flightless bird while you were away.
His head says, "Noble doggo," but his body says, "Raw chicken in the meat section of the grocery store."
We hope his mom lets him stay home from obedience school tomorrow, and for however long it takes for his fur to start filling in again. There's no way the other dogs would let him live this mishap down.
13 Welcome to Don't Forget To Set Your Parking Brake Manor
Many's the time we've pulled into our driveway and wished we felt like we'd just been strapped into a roller coaster and we were making our way up to the very tippity top. The fact that someone based their entire housing development on that concept makes our heart swell with joy.
We can't wait for some little kid to leave their bike at the bottom of that driveway. That way, when their dad gets home from work and forgets to set his parking brake, the bike will be crushed like a soda can and we'll have even more ridiculousness on our hands. There's no way this is gonna pan out well.
12 Go to bed, Tumblr
You know that weird sort of loopy yet philosophically minded you that rolls around at night when you stay up late talking with your friends? That's how Tumblr bloggers are but, like...all the time. And when night actually does roll around, that strange phenomenon is multiplied tenfold.
Tumblr's the toddler of the internet, and it's up to us grownups to make sure it goes to bed on time.
If we let them stay up past 8:30 or so, then we have only ourselves to blame when we see this kind of nonsense. Great! Now this eyestache/mouthbrow conundrum is going to bother us for the rest of the day.
11 Pfft! Professional? Don't need no stinkin' professional!
Unless and until this person understands that cutting a hole in their garage door so their truck can fit inside is in no way a legitimate solution to this problem, they're no longer allowed to come up with their own ideas. Sorry, but that's just the way it's got to be.
DIY definitely has it's advantages, like saving money, but it only truly pays off if you actually know what you're doing. If you go fartin' around where you got no business fartin' in the first place, you're gonna wind up with an even bigger problem on your hands. Plus, it might look stupid, too, and that's never a good thing.
10 You've heard of skinny jeans, now get ready for nothing but skin jeans!
Yikes! And we thought those leather chaps with the back pockets cut out were a bad idea. Whoever decided these jeans that aren't really jeans and are more like denim straps for your legs need to be a thing should seriously consider switching occupations.
Besides, these jeans don't hold a candle to Banana Republic's Tyrone Biggums wear.
If we found these scraps of leftover pants at the back of our closet, we wouldn't even consider donating them to Good Will, we'd just chuck them. What makes this store think that people will actually pay for these, let alone wear them around? Consider us thoroughly befuddled.
9 This is a food sin
Uh, sorry, but what did they just say? This sandwich is supposed to "calm the mind"? What, is this PB&O sandwich laced with chamomile and Benadryl? How the heck is this thing going to help anyone enter a ~Zen~ state of mind? The only thing this disaster snack is good for is causing severe indigestion and unpleasant belches for the rest of the day.
Peanut butter goes with jelly. Onions go with rings. What peanut butter and onions don't go with is each other. We're not about to ingest this gag-worthy sandwich anytime soon, but we would be all too happy to toss it in the nearest dumpster.
8 There. It's fixed
Pfft. Are you seriously going to tell us that if you rear-ended someone and your bumper was falling off that you would take it to the shop to have it fixed? Man, you have been *so* brainwashed by the auto mechanic industry, it's not even funny.
You don't need Bondo or skill to mend a car. All you need's a little string and voilà! Fixed like a pro!
This is where all of those years playing cat's cradle back in elementary school really pays off. "String art sucks!" Oh yeah, our fellow classmates from 3rd grade? Well, what do you think about it now, eh?!
7 Woohoo! Go Loins!
Making signs for your high school basketball team's game later in the day? That doesn't sound like such a bad idea to us. We mean, what could possibly go weird and wacky with that, right? Well...as it turns out, quite a lot.
These kids may be lions on the court, but when it comes to spelling and just having a general idea of what the heck is going on most of the time, we think the title of "lions" is a little generous. Still, we wish the loins the best of luck today. May they gird themselves with the utmost skill and precision.
6 Honestly, Tumblr, give it a rest
Alright, Tumblr, that is it! first with the macaroni tears, and then with the eyestache/mouthbrow thing. That's two strikes against you, we really weren't asking for a strike three.
Well, it looks like someone *glares at intranet* doesn't need to be given any amount of real power.
Look, Tumblr users, it's okay. We all have these sorts of inexplicable thoughts. We all dream up strange things that we can't completely understand. But just because these things are silly doesn't mean they should be shared. For future reference, please keep these kinds of ideas to yourself, else ye shall lose your idea coming up with privileges completely.
5 The cannonball kid
Most people think that all they have to do is hug their knees as they throw themselves into a body of water in order to pull off a cannonball dive. That's where they're wrong. If you want to do this right, then it's going to be a lot more complicated than that.
In order to pull off a real cannonball, you need—and this should come as no surprise—a cannon. Sure, little Timmy is scream crying now, but once his parents light that fuse and he goes sailing through the air toward that water, we're sure he'll appreciate his parents' dedication to his diving techniques.
4 Bird legs
If you take a picture of your pet parakeet perched on top of some Barbie legs and post it to the internet, there's always a chance that someone with a twisted a sense of humor as yourself will find it funny.
But the odds are, people will just sigh heavily and wonder where your parents went wrong.
Besides, wouldn't you feel silly going through the motions needed to bring this to fruition? Red flags would go off in any sane person's head as they ripped the legs off a plastic doll, strung them together and set a pretty bird on them for a picture. It just sounds weird.
3 How could this situation possibly go awry?
In the event that you find yourself at the back of a crowd during a vague public event without a stepladder, don't panic. Simply locate the nearest available stroller, or bring your own ahead of time, and stand on it. See? Problem solved!
Mmm. Sorry to be naysayers, but we see some flaws in this guy's logic. Strollers have wheels. If he loses his balance, he's going to hit the pavement and crack his skull. But at least he took the precaution of strapping a baby into the stroller first, so if he does fall, the infant will act as an airbag and cushion the blow.
2 Clowning around is in his nature
We don't have any statistics in front of us or anything, so there's no way that we can back up this statement, but we would wager that most kids have a healthy and sensible fear of clowns. But this kid has a strategy for coping with the clown phobia:
Don't fear the clown...become the clown...
Shoutout to his family. This kid's parents and brothers are the real MVPs for allowing this little Bozo to be in the shot instead of shunning him and leaving him on a circus's doorstep before heading to the photographer's studio, like any other family probably would have done.
1 This was such a great decis—aw, crap
When you go to the beach, there are a few things you simply HAVE to do. Build a sandcastle. Pick up shells. Play in the water. Sunbathe. Eat an ice cream cone under a big umbrella. And, last but not least, bury yourself completely in the sand so that only your head is exposed.
This guy was just doing what any one of us would do. Unfortunately, it looks like we're all guilty of choosing to pursue bad ideas this time around. His plan was flawless, but, alas, the seagulls had a different idea as to how his weekend mini vacay was going to go down. Hope he brought some napkins.