We've compared life to a roller coaster before, and we still think that analogy is accurate, but upon further reflection, we think life is also a lot like a carousel. It seems beautiful and fun at first, with all the lovely painted horses and all the happy, smiling faces. The organ music comes on and it only adds to the merry mood (huh, we guess that's why they call them merry-go-rounds) and for a few minutes, it's nothing short of perfection.
But then, when the merry-go-round of life doesn't stop, we start to low-key panic. Instead of slowing down, it starts to speed up. The rest of the carnival dances before our eyes as we spin around and around. But instead of eventually slowing down again so we can all get off, the carousel of life just stays super fast, and we all manage to get used to it. How is it that we do this? How are we humans able to take all of this turmoil without losing our heads? The answer is *screams internally*. Life is hard, whether it's a carousel or a roller coaster, that's why we feel for these 20 people who are internally screaming so loud, we need earplugs.
19 What did he do?
The last thing we want to do is laugh at a child's expense, but we're sorry, we just can't help ourselves this time. This little angel boy is a hamburger, and even more than that, he's sad about it. And it's his little upset expression that makes this whole picture even more hilarious.
We've never seen a hamburger with feelings, let alone one who's so unhappy, but ironically, the fact that this guy is so cheesed off at being a burger only makes him look cuter. Don't worry, little guy! One of these days, this won't be a bad memory, but a LOL-worthy anecdote.
18 Somebody, please help him
This kid is internally screaming so loudly right now, we just got back from an appointment with an ENT to make sure our eardrums hadn't burst. Poor kid, it's obvious he had been looking forward to flying and being able to look out the window down at the world below.
Reality's such a stone cold brute, but as adults, we're used to dealing with its barbarism at this point. The least reality could do is spare the children from its harsh truths until they grow up. Give the kids their childhood back, reality! No, seriously, do it, we can't take the internal screaming anymore.
17 Well, doesn't he look nice?
We know that this lovely red sundress isn't what this guy ordered, but it's flattering on him. He's obviously got it, we see no reason for him not to flaunt it. All he needs to complete his look is a flimsy sunhat and a pair of sandals, then he'll be ready to go to the beach! When internet orders are botched, the only appropriate response is...?
That's right. Screaming internally.
How in the world does a company confuse a red off the shoulder dress with some black skinny jeans and a pair of sunglasses? We know that mistakes are bound to happen, but, come on. What's the deal, here?
16 "Is it too late to take it back?"
Baby siblings aren't always a welcome addition to the family, no matter what mommies and daddies would like you to believe. Eventually, though, we can tell you from our own personal sibling having experience, you do grow to love your little brothers and/or sisters. In time, if not immediately.
Some kids are smitten with their baby siblings the minute they lay eyes on them. Others? Meh...not so much. It's a tough situation for the parents when the family's going through it, but dang if it doesn't make for some hilarious photographs to look back on fondly later on down the road.
15 Add "making bath bombs" to the list of Pixar's many talents
This person is internally screaming—obviously, we mean, they're so loud, we need a pair of earplugs just to hear ourselves think—but, to be honest, we're not sure why. Are they happy? Are they sad? Are they weirded out? Upset? Gassy? What?
We're chalking this case of internal screaming up to a surprise.
But we like to think they were pleasantly surprised. Who wouldn't love to get a toy in their bath bomb? Let's make bath bombs the adult Happy Meal! Why should children be the only ones to get little Disney figurines? Maybe we adults want some Mike Wazowski action figures too, you don't know.
14 That's the saddest face ever
Awww! Have a heart! Let the little angel on the ride! Don't worry, sister girl. First of all, you're still young, so there's no reason to believe you won't grow to be tall enough never to have to worry about one of these signs ever again. Second of all...there are ways of outsmarting this rule. Chin up! There's still hope.
Grab yourself some dress-up playtime high heels, or maybe a pair of those platform flip-flops all the kids were wearing back in the early 2000s. Once you've got those strapped to your feet, come back here and maybe these washed up carnies will change their minds.
We've read through this a couple of times now. Hang on...okay, we've read through it a couple times more. That's at least four times we've read through it, and to be honest, we read through it multiple times before we even started counting.
And after reading and rereading it, we still don't know what it says.
We don't want to jump to conclusions, even though that is our best skill, but we're, like, 90-percent sure this driver (who may or may not work with Uber) is a lawbreaker. We're not saying they're on the lam, but, yes, that is what we're saying. They're wanted by the police. Definitely.
12 It's like you didn't even try!
This face mask is so inexcusably not what it was advertised to be, and we are so incredibly offended by it that we want her money back. The whole world should get some sort of financial retribution from this skin care company for their gross incompetence.
Come on, people, you had one job! Make a mini face mask that can be stretched out with a little water and elbow grease. So what's the deal with this American Girl Doll-size face mask? Just be glad Zoolander isn't here right now because he would be frustrated that y'all are apparently making face masks FOR ANTS!!!!
11 Bear with them
Interviews are a necessary part of life. They're the only way that we know of getting a job, and since having a job is also a necessary part of living, there's just no good way to get out of them.
Interviews are basically obligatory, which only makes them more stressful.
You don't want to mess those up, that's for sure, which is why we just know this person is internally screaming. But since the people doing the interviewing were once the ones being interviewed, we're sure they understand what it's like to be in their nervous, quaking shoes. At least, we sure hope they do.
10 Our blood pressure went up just looking at this picture
Even for those of us who are perfectly comfortable with the prospect of being up in the air, it still gets old. When you're trapped in what is essentially a humongous floating waiting room, you have to focus on small tasks to help see you through.
It helps to have things to look forward to. Maybe you brought a good book with you or maybe you've got an interesting podcast to listen to. Another thing to look forward too, desperate and pathetic as it sounds, is the classic airplane peanuts. So you can imagine how intensely this person is internally screaming right now. We are, too.
9 Does the Queen know you stole her curtains?
Hey, can we get a towel? We saw this one in the bathroom, but we don't know, we just wouldn't feel right about wiping our hands off on the Queen's curtains that you somehow managed to steal when you visited Buckingham Palace and, for whatever reason, have decided to display them in your bathroom.
Silk and velvet aren't known for their absorbency.
Look, we'll even take some Brawny or even one of those always shoddy hand dryers. Give us something, anything, to dry our hands off with! We can't keep wiping them on our jeans, and we shouldn't have to, anyway! What are we, barbarians?!
8 Goofy and Mickey do their best The Lion King impression
Don't come into our post and try to tell us those claw machine games aren't rigged. We're not having it, and we won't hear your nonsense about how they're fair, they've just "got a trick to them" that people "have to master" if they "want to win".
This is some kind of rotten trick. We've almost lost our temper a time or two with those dumb games (because, yes, we have the patience of a crabby toddler), but if this happened to us, we'd have used the anger-triggered adrenaline to knock that machine over and snag our Mickey Mouse toy before being escorted out of the grocery store.
7 It's like seeing a not blurry picture of Bigfoot!
Ever since we read our first Where's Wally? book, we've been keeping our eyes peeled for that elusive son of a gun. And ever since we saw our first episode of Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? we've been keeping our eyes peeled for that elusive daughter of a gun.
It's been an extensive search. But at last, our efforts have paid off.
Or, rather, this random guy's efforts have paid off. He did it, people. He finally did it! He found the two most unfindable people in the galaxy, and he found them both at one. He should get some kind of reward.
6 Don't worry! It'll melt soon
One of our least favorite life lessons that we've learned is that snow is only fun for kids. They get the good side of that frozen white stuff. All they have to do is use it to make snow angels and igloos and to go sledding on.
For adults, snow is nothing more than a chore.
Snow is such a pain in the neck! For one thing, it makes everything cold and wet, and when adulthood has already sucked the soul out of you, those conditions aren't conducive to optimism. For another thing, snow can be pretty sneaky. You never know when it's gonna strike until...well...
5 What have you done?
Everywhere you look these days, it seems like people are finding brand new ways of tainting the perfection that is Pop-Tarts. Why would you want to botch the flavors of those delicious prepackaged breakfast pastries? What have they ever done to you besides make your blood sugar crash around ten in the morning?
Well, we suppose that some people just want to watch the world burn. Dipping Pop-Tarts in buffalo sauce may not be a real flavor combination—in fact, we actually think it's a sin—but it's definitely inflammatory. We just hope this person gets what coming to them intestinally speaking.
4 Anything for you, art
Why are people always bending over backward for art? What makes art so special that everyone's so willing to devote themselves body and soul to it? Here are these people, throwing themselves at something that will take everything they give it and still want more, yet we want literally nothing from anyone and we can't even get a text back.
Where is the justice?
Well, we hope this person achieved whatever the heck kind of look they were going for with this mask. Also, we heard castor oil is supposed to be good for regrowing eyelashes. Rub a drop or two on your eyelids and presto change-o.
3 We see it
The last thing that we would want to do is rain on this girl's self-esteem parade. We're not trying to throw shade around like rice at a wedding, but we have to say, we can see that her boyfriend has a point. We see a resemblance here.
But maybe the fact that she's dressed like Pinhead Larry isn't meant to be so much of an insult toward her. Maybe it's supposed to be more of a compliment for Larry. Instead of saying his girlfriend looks like a dunce, maybe he's admitting that he has a crush on that cutie pie, Pinhead Larry. Could go either way.
Vegetables are healthy. Kids need to be healthy in order to grow up and be strong. So, it only makes sense that we force our small children to eat the icky green produce that they loathe with all of their tiny, angelic little hearts.
It's not a punishment. It's just good parenting.
Kids don't like vegetables, and this little girl's no different. Neither is her parent any different for encouraging her to finish her snap peas. It's just too bad that the one and only time she agreed to give them a try, her vegetables just so happened to be playing host to a monster of a mealworm.
1 Turns out, apple cider vinegar *can't* cure everything
We don't know if this kid was supposed to bring apple cider into class for some kind of weird fall project, or if he just thought he was bringing some apple cider to go with his snack or lunch that day. Either way, we don't think this apple cider vinegar will make an appropriate substitute.
The bad news is, this guy's gonna get a bad grade in today's assignment and/or have to drink from the water fountain by the bathroom if he gets thirsty. The good news is if he needs to soothe a sore throat or he needs to lower his cholesterol, he's all set.