Camouflage. Cowboy hats. Country music. Archaic and offensive flags. And being absolutely armed to the teeth. These are the images that pop into our minds when we think of redneck weddings. And guess what? For the most part, they're 100% accurate. Don't believe us? Well, you may wanna take a look at some of the outlandish photos we've gathered here. Sure, not all redneck weddings are a cliche, but these ones sure are. Frankly, they're all pretty cringe-worthy. Look, we know this is another way of life. We also know that economics play into things. But we just can't help but make fun of it. Extravagant, snobby, coastal weddings can be equally moronic and attention-grabbing. But, for now, let's just focus on these 20 pics that show redneck weddings can be just absolutely ridiculous.
20 Ain't No Weddin' Without A Mud Wrestle
Jumping into a mud pit is a far more climatic image for the guests to see than watching the bride and groom drive off in a sportscar. And for many of us, we've been to a wedding or two where we'd love to see the special couple get doused in dirt. The only thing that would make these images better is if the bride and groom took half of these mouth-breathing guests with them.
19 Environment? Which Environment?
Well, this wedding party isn't exactly living down some of the critical comments being thrown at people like them. We have a feeling that these deplorable people are more than aware of the climate crisis, they just don't care. So, therefore, we kinda hope that they breathe in a little too much of fumes being emitted from the groom's colossal truck -- which, by the way, is clearly compensating for something. Three guesses what... Doesn't matter what... You'd be right every time.
18 Bare-Feet, Bikinis, And Flat-Bed Trucks
Nothing says " romantic wedding" quite like a revealing bikini-dress, overalls, a beaten-up flat-bed truck, and mud-covered feet. We wonder if hog-wrestling was involved too? For this rather mismatched couple, it may have been the wedding of their dreams. Well, the one thing that we can say that we're REALLY freaking glad that dreams are exclusive to the dreamer.
17 There's Always A Creative Way Of Building An Arch... That Doesn't Look Like These Monstrosities
The archway can really make or ruin how beautiful a wedding ceremony is. After all, it's the very thing that frames the couple during the most important moments of the event. But it's clear that these two couples just didn't give a crap about that. Instead, one went for something a True Detective villain would leave at the scene of a crime while the other was free advertising for every terrible beer company this side of the Atlantic.
16 In Lieu Of A Limo
Not everyone can afford to be taken away in a sportscar or limo. So, they just have to settle for a tractor or dune-buggy. Look, neither are all that romantic, but that's what these people got. However, it's not the classiest of moves. And one thing's for sure, the cans of knock-off Campbells soup really don't make matters better.
15 What The Bridal Party Has To Go Through... Although We Don't Think They Cared
The wedding party, bridal in particular, usually has to go through a lot to make the bride happy. If they aren't' dealing with a bridezilla, they have one that's keen on dressing them up in matching awful outfits that make her look better. And that's precisely what happened here. But it wasn't exclusive to the bridal party. The groomsmen received the same treatment. But something tells us that these guys really didn't care. They probably thought they all looked pretty darn-tootin dapper.
14 The Creativity Of A Redneck Cake Isn't Lost On Us... It Just Makes Us Really Uncomfortable
Okay, so these cakes are pretty well done. They were probably from a higher-end wedding, even by redneck standards. But if you look at the details, you may feel a tad uncomfortable. Especially given the violence present. We even had to crop one of them as it had some rather offensive artwork and depicted flags that rednecks really just need to give up. Guys, you lost the Civil War a hundred and fifty years ago. Time to move on...
13 The Outfits That Keep Tom Ford Up At Night
If there's one thing redneck and hillbilly weddings don't have, it's a fashion sense. Yeah, these guys are pretty much falling into every faux-pas that keeps someone like Tom Ford, Tommy Hilfiger, or Vera Wang up at night. Seriously, who wears a construction hat over her veil? Also, why is that one couple in a hunting outfit? Do they actually think it looks good? Poor, saps.
12 We Guess This Is Kinda Cute... In A True Detective Yellow King Kind Of Way
Okay, so we found a couple of photos from a redneck wedding that aren't as openly offensive and gross as the others. In fact, it's almost like they've recreated a fairytale... The very same fairytale that a character from True Detective or Mindhunter would use to lure unsuspecting victims to their demise. Yeah, just try and get Carcosa and The Yellow King from True Detective out of your mind now that we've mentioned it.
11 Mama June Is The Queen Of The Rednecks And She Has The Dress To Prove It
How could we not feature Honeyboo Boo's Mama June in this article? She's basically like the queen of the rednecks. After all, she gives into almost every cliche thrown at people like her. And the fact that she dressed like a cheap cabin curtain on her wedding day definitely doesn't change her image. Of course, it's easy to be a tad mean to Mama June given some of the things she's let happen in her house. So, yeah, we don't feel that bad about this one...
10 Ridin' Out On The Bayou
Between the bride's calm demeanor and her son's level of disinterest, we have to give some props to this redneck wedding photo. It's actually hilarious. Of course, they're giving into at least two major redneck cliches at once here. First of all, they're riding out on the Bayou. Secondly, they're repping Larry The Cable Guy's catchphrase. Yeah, you don't get much more redneck than Larry The Cable Guy...
9 When Two Lost Souls Finally Find Each Other... Well, We Can't Be Too Mean About It
There's a lot of easy targets in this photo, which makes it a little less fun to ridicule. We actually think it's sweet that these two lost souls found one another. Hopefully, they're still together and haven't been taken out by their lack of medical insurance. Some might say that this is some Ripley's Believe It Or Not crap right here. But we just say, congrats!
8 Shades That Clearly Blind Them From The On-Coming Train
Where do we start with this one!? There's just too much material here. Between the camo and pink taffeta dress, this bride looks like a cartoon character. And her Yosemite Sam-esque husband isn't making things any easier. This may be the one time we hope a freight train's barrelling down the tracks.
7 "Down By The River, I Found My Baby"
Rivers can be truly romantic places for couples to get married. Honestly. We don't think every wedding needs to be in some expensive arena that even P-Diddy would call, "ostentatious". But we do think it's pretty tacky for a bride and groom to be wearing plaid while their minister is draped in over-alls. And yeah, that's a minister. They don't do rabbis or Justice of the Peace out there in Arkansas.
6 Uh... We're Not Entirely Sure Where To Begin With This One...
This is probably the happiest day of this young woman's life. So we can't entirely ruin that for her. But we're pretty curious about the tie-dyed pink shirt, those bruises on her knees, and that horrendous jean-skirt. Also, what's with the drunk preacher behind her? Oh well, guess you'd have to be ten-drinks-in as a guest to be able to get through this wedding.
5 When The Word "Class" Doesn't Exist In Your Already Limited Vocabulary
Anyone with a shred of diversity may want to RSVP a firm AF "no" to this wedding. We're not jumping to any conclusions about these people's ideologies, but we probably wouldn't be wrong if we did. After all, their looks aren't doing them any favors. The camo and the dyed orange-hair doesn't exactly scream, "I'm open to anyone who isn't trailer-trash like I am".
4 The Haunting Of Hillbilly Hill House
Run... Just run! This is some scary s*** right here. Who in their right mind would think that this is a good look for a wedding picture? Part of us think that these are wax-figures in some sort of horror exhibit for Halloween. But another part of us believes that these rednecks were just clueless enough to believe that they looked romantic.
3 Destined To Repeat Their Parent's Mistakes
It must be difficult to be a redneck child at a redneck wedding. They're young enough to still have hopes and dream, just like every child does. But when they see their hillbilly parents get married in camo-gear with a cross-bow tied swung over their shoulder, they must see these dreams come crashing down in a fire of Costco taco-meat and Teddy Nugent songs.
2 Rich Rednecks Always Need A Bit Of Kitsch
Contrary to common belief, not all rednecks straddle the poverty line. Some on this very list have more money than we could even dream of. They just have far less class. And that includes the bride at this hillbilly gathering. It's pretty friggin kitschy to ride up on a horse at your wedding. At the very least, she should go see a shrink about her obvious need for attention. Daddy-issues, anyone?
1 How The Heck Did They Even Get Up There!?
We have so many questions about this redneck wedding photo including about several logistical ones. But the most important question doesn't have to do with "how", in fact, it has everything to do with "why". Why did they think this was a good decision? Are they trying to make some sort of statement? Regardless, they're inadvertently saying that their union is surrounded by s***.