You may lose your baby teeth and you may ditch the training wheels on your bike, but no matter how grown up you get, you'll never be too old to fail. Which is totally unfair, now that we think about it. Being an adult sucks. You would think that the least that adulthood could do for us would be to make sure that we never make fools out of ourselves. But, alas. That's not the case.
Adults do stupid things just as often as kids. Only, when you're an adult, it's way more embarrassing. When you're grown, you have this thing called "shame." It's a terrible feeling that makes you wish you were dead. And that shame is precisely what we feel when we do something dumb.
Despite this, we continue to fail. Adults hate to feel shame, and yet we continue to find new ways to feel it. WTF, us? Anyway, the fact is you're never too old to fail. These 20 pictures make that painfully clear.
20 She's going to be there awhile
We don't want to tell you how to live your life, but do you mind if we give you some advice? When you curl your hair, it works a lot better if you plug the curling iron in first. Something about the heat really helps when it comes to styling your mane. Oh, sure. You can curl your hair with a cold curling iron. But it takes a really long time. Besides, when you plug your curling iron into an electrical outlet, it heats up, which means there's always that chance that you could burn the crap out of your hand. Who doesn't want to get burned?
This poor lady sure isn't afraid of being burned. Look at her fail. There's no telling how long she stood there like that, trying desperately to get her hair to curl. Not only that, but she actually agreed to let whoever took this picture post it to the internet. She's a fail inspiration to all of us.
19 The wheels on the truck go round and round
Okay, now. Pay attention, you guys. This is serious. Unless you're totally cool with losing thousands of dollars worth of All Terrain Vehicle, listen up—when you transport your ATV to a new location by way of a truck bed, be sure to secure the off-road vehicle with the use of ratchet straps. If you don't tie your load, you could lose it. This is vital information.
See, the guy who tied this four-wheeler down was off to a good start. It's well secured, to be sure. But he was overzealous. He really screwed the pooch because he ended up (stupidly) securing his ratchet straps to the wheels of his truck. Much like the bus, the wheels on the truck go round and round. Which means that when this guy starts his truck and takes off down the road, not only will he destroy his vehicle, he'll ruin his ATV, too.
18 . . . Nnnnnoooo?
Wait a minute. You mean that there are actually people out there who think that the nine month gestation period increases depending on how many babies you're having? Because you know that's not how it works, right? Yeah, it's nine months no matter how many babies are in there. Pretty sure that's one of the first things that they teach you in high school.
Look, we took biology. We know how hard it can be. But you must—we can't stress this enough—must pay attention and try your best in those classes. You absolutely have to give it your all. You have to show up every day, do the work, and study hard. If you don't, you could end up like this moron who thinks it takes two plus years to have triplets. However, if you are dead set on not paying attention during your science classes, please. Do us all a favor and never reproduce.
17 Adding insult to injury
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="635"] Via: reddit.com[/caption]
"Oh, wow, man. That was a killer fall you just had. Dude, you fell, like, two stories! I don't even know how you managed to survive that spill. Try not to move too much, okay? I can tell that you're in a lot of pain. You probably have a serious back or neck injury. You might have a broken leg, too. Gosh, we need to get you to the hospital ASAP for treatment. Here, let me just move your dirt bike out of the wa—aw, sh*t!"
You know, it's too bad that they sent these dufuses out there to help that poor guy. If only they had sent a more competent group of people, like paramedics, or The Three Stooges. Seriously, people! This isn't a slapstick comedy from the 1950s. That guy is hurt! He could have internal bleeding, for all we know! Could you maybe put a little effort into not killing him? Sheesh!
16 You didn't even try
Here's a little bit of background about the photo above, just to help give you some context—
Susan's boss: "Susan, I have to make a phone call. Could you finish up this birthday cake order? When you're done, you can clock out."
Susan: "Sure. But, uh, does it matter that I always take things way too literally?"
Susan's boss: "I really don't see how that could be a problem."
Obviously, the message on this birthday cake totally missed the mark. But we can't help but admire the decorator's excellent penmanship. Check out those well-formed letters. They're perfect. Like, sure whoever decorated this birthday cake failed big time. There's no denying it. But would you just look at how perfect each letter is? Besides, the cake looks okay. It may look stupid, but that probably doesn't affect the flavor, right? We're willing to look past this fail. You know, as long as we get a slice with balloons.
15 Umbrellas should come with instructions
What? What are you laughing at? Oh, please. You think you're so superior with your umbrella opening knowledge. Well, guess what? Umbrellas are hard to figure out for first-time users. Cut this guy some slack. It's not like he's Mary freaking Poppins. He's doing his best, okay? Sure, he may look like an idiot, and yes, this has got to be one of the worst fails of the century. But just imagine what it must be like to be him.
Picture it—you're this guy. It's kind of gray outside. Your wife tried to get you to take an umbrella with you on your way over to the Target. But you were too embarrassed to admit that you had no idea how to work an umbrella, so you said no. Then, when you were standing in the checkout line, the rain started pouring down. To avoid getting soaked on your way home, you sucked it up and bought an umbrella because failing was your only other option.
14 This fail is a load of crap
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="636"] Via: reddit.com[/caption]
We don't know about you guys, but if we were rolling a huge wheelbarrow of manure around, we would make dang sure that we never got ourselves into a position where we might spill it all over ourselves. Legend has it that manure is very smelly, what with it being animal sh*t and all. Maybe some people are cool with wallowing in animal poop, but for us? It's a turn off.
We're going to go ahead and take a wild guess, here, and say that this person is not an engineering student. Because, if they were, there is no way that they would have agreed to try to push fifty pounds worth of steaming poop up a flimsy two-by-four board. But you know? You shouldn't have to be an engineering student to know that that is a stupid idea.
TL;DR—never wheel a ton of animal poop up a "crappy" ramp.
13 Bidon't drink from the bidet
Oh. Oh, no. Gods of fail, if you can hear us, please. We beg of you, have mercy on us. Please let this picture be a set up. Please just don't let it be real. We're not sure we could stand it to think that this woman was actually drinking water from a bidet. For the sake of our delicate psyches, say it ain't so.
This is a joke, right? We need it to be a joke. Not just because the thought of actually drinking bidet water is disgusting, but also just so we can sleep at night. The world is a rough place. It's cruel, harsh, and full of disappointment. It's hard enough to sleep as it is. But to think that there are actually people out there who believe 1) Europeans have drinking fountains right next to their toilets, 2) bidets are for drinking and not rinsing your behind makes us want to cry.
12 It seems like this could have been avoided
Far be it from us to criticize adults for trying to indulge in childlike pleasures, but it seems like this fail could have been avoided. How did he even get there? Did he fall from the top a la firefighter sliding down the pole to get to the fire truck? Or did he somehow crawl up from the bottom like some kind of cretin from the depths of hell? We are just so confused.
We don't want to try to tell this fella that he can't play on the playground or anything. But he clearly needs playground lessons. He has no clue what he's doing. It would be in his best interest (and everyone else's, for that matter) if he watched a couple of YouTube videos. He needs expert guidance before he attempts to slide any slides, swing any swings, or go round on any merry-go-rounds. That's just our opinion, though.
11 Champagne bottle's revenge
Gasp! What are you doing, man? How dare you abuse an innocent, fizzy bottle of champagne? What has alcohol ever done to you? Have you no sense of decency, you barbaric ruffian!?!
Um . . . what was he trying to do? Was he, like, trying to christen that concrete triangle in the same way that they christen boats before they set sail for the first time? Or was this guy just drunk to the point where it's fun to destroy stuff? It's not like we need to know the answers to these questions, or anything. But some context for this GIF would be nice, that's all.
We may not know what the heck was going through this guy's head when he lobbed that champagne bottle at that geometric structure. But we're pretty confident that we know what he was thinking when it boomeranged back to him and nailed him square in the groin—"Ooooowwwwww."
10 We're suckers for inspirational quote tattoos
Here's how we think this fail went down:
Tattoo artist: "Not for nothin', but you know this tattoo design looks like it was drawn up by a child, right?"
Guy getting tattoo: "Yep. Drew it up when I was seven. I always said it would be my first tattoo."
Tattoo artist: "And, uh. You know that there's a "K," a "W," and a "D" in "knowledge," right? I should add those into the final design?"
Guy getting tattoo: "Look, seven-year-old me knew what he was doing, alright? 'Nolege' may not be the traditional spelling, but isn't true knowledge about being able to define an issue in such a way that everyone, even the least educated among us, can understand?"
Tattoo artist: *Wipes tear* "That was beautiful, sir."
Guy getting tattoo: "Thank you. Now, would mind getting started? I've got to go moderate a spelling bee in an hour."
9 This is what happens when you don't separate the lights from the darks
Ah, yes. You can laugh if you want. We'll admit that we did. But setting fire to the washing machine and/or dryer is a legit fear that many first-time laundry doers have. And now that we've seen this fail, we realize just how possible it is to burn our blouses and blue jeans to a crisp.
You know, this one really had us stumped. We could not figure out how this could happen. Do some washing machines have a broiler setting? After we dry our sheets, can we use our dryer to fire roast a homemade pizza? We needed answers, so we did some Google research. Several hours worth of Google research, in fact. However, you'll be happy to know that we did find answers. As it turns out, spontaneous combustion is very rare—even for laundry machines. But in some cases, washers and dryers have been known to catch fire when the user neglects to sort their lights from their darks.
8 Exercise is always a bad idea
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="636"] Via: funnyordie.com[/caption]
This GIF is hilarious. We can't help but snicker. But bless that woman's heart. That had to have hurt. More to the point, that had to have been embarrassing AF. Like, "Hey, Linda. I hate to tell you this, but do you remember a few minutes ago when you took a spill from that exercise machine (which, by the way, you had no idea how to use)? And you know how you're now covered in bruises and icing a sprained wrist as a result of that fail? Well, as it happens, I accidentally left the security cameras on and, whoops! Wouldn't you know it? I accidentally shared it with the whole internet. Sorry about that. But, like I said, it was an accident, so . . ."
Oh, well. You live and you learn, right? In this case, we learned that it's probably a good idea never to exercise. Ever.
7 But . . . it looks so real
Yes, this internet user has been watering a plastic plant for almost half a year, which is an astonishingly long time to be caring for a fake plant. But, to be fair, that aloe vera does look great. You can't fault them on that.
On the surface, this is a definite fail. After all, watering a plastic plant without realizing that it's a plastic plant can in no way be considered a win. But if you look at it from another standpoint, you could turn this tragic waste of six months into a clever gardening hack.
Gardening hack #98721—Replace all of your real plants with plastic plants. You don't have to water them (although you can, as long as you take pictures and post them to the internet), you don't have to add compost to the potting soil, and you don't have to worry about covering them up in the winter.
6 Troll level: Starbucks employee
. . . Yeah, we may not be English professors, but we're pretty sure that the letter "C" never, ever makes the "M" sound. And we're also fairly certain that everybody knows this. This isn't just some grammar secret that only we are privy to. So with that tidbit of information in mind, we can only deduce that the Starbucks employee who wrote Marc with a c's name on his medium double latte cappuccino mocha espresso coffee was either illiterate, or they knew exactly what they were doing.
As full-time internet trolls, we strive to make fun of as many people as possible, and in the most subtle ways possible. We want to poke fun at everyone, but we don't necessarily want them to know that we're poking fun at them, ya feel? But we can only strive to achieve this level of passive aggressive mockery. Indeed, this coffee barista has won the worldwide trolling award, hands down.
5 Crash into fail
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="635"] Via: reddit.com[/caption]
This poor gal. All that she wanted was a little fun. And sure, alcohol may have been involved, but we all deserve to have a good time every now and then, right? Personally, we can't think of anything more fun than jumping gleefully from a trampoline onto a slide. That sounds like a rip-roaring good time to us.
Unfortunately, this woman made one fatal mistake. See, instead of opting for an adult slide, she used the Little Tikes slide that she bought for her kids. As you are well-aware, when those plastic slides sit out in the sun, they get brittle. They stop being delightful slides and start becoming dangerous hazards. It was just downright unreasonable to believe that an old, sun-beaten plastic kid's slide could support the weight of a grown woman.
But, like we said, we're pretty sure that alcohol was involved, so this fail doesn't really come as a surprise.
4 That rascally "girlfriend"
Oh, girlfriend! You are so rascally, always trying to take pictures of your boyfriend like that! Babe, it's okay. You don't have to worry. Your boyfriend doesn't need pictures posted to Facebook to prove his love for you. He doesn't need the rest of the world to see that your name (what was it? Handrea?) has been written on his heart. He is so lucky to have a girl like you. Aw, you. Come over here and give him a hug.
Sigh. This fail is just unfortunate, no matter which way you look at it. First off, it makes this guy look pathetic. Obviously. Second of all, when you give this fail a little more consideration, it makes you wonder: maybe this guy meant to say that his hand is his girlfriend. And if that is indeed the case, then this fail enters an entirely new realm of despondence and disappointment.
3 Nicholas Cage is disappointed in you
. . . You're joking, right? You should be joking. Because if you genuinely think that phones can only be used to communicate with other people via text message, you don't deserve modern technology.
See? Now look what you did! You've disappointed Nicholas Cage! He's so upset by your ignorance that he probably won't make any more National Treasure movies. Well, we hope you're happy, you dirty, rotten, son of a so-and-so! We really liked those movies. Now we'll never know which historical American relic he'll steal. You make us sick.
You know, if people legit think that you can't use a phone as, you know, a phone, we wouldn't be surprised. After all, we live in a day and age where kids think that # is called a hashtag and not a pound sign. We have so much technology at our fingertips that we've allowed our minds to deteriorate. What is the world coming to? That's what we—and Nic Cage—want to know.
2 The outlet's plugged in, but there's no power, if you get our drift
"Why won't my power strip turn on???" Hmmm. You've got us there. Clearly, going by the picture that you posted to the internet for everyone to see, everything is plugged. How odd. *Scratches chin, rubs head, snaps fingers* Wait a minute! We know what's wrong, here! You forgot to flip the orange switch!
Guys, do we really have to explain power strips to you? Sigh. The power doesn't come from the power strip. The power comes from the outlet in the wall (you know, provided you've paid your electricity bill). Just because a power strip has a slot for an electrical plug doesn't mean that power comes from it.
They should really teach these kinds of things in school. They should cover basic things, like power strip fundamentals, plastic plant gardening, and how to do your laundry without burning the house down. These are important life skills that we all need in order to not fail.
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="636"] Via: jezebel.com[/caption]
Congratulations! You have successfully made it through the lineup of adults failing miserably! Well done, you. Now, we know that it took a lot out of you to witness such misadventures. You probably have a headache. You may have burst a few blood vessels in your eyes. And, quite possibly, you now have bald spots as a result of pulling your hair out. That's okay. The important thing is that you're still here. As a reward, we saved the best fail for last—and this fail comes with an important life lesson.
According to this GIF, it was this delightful lady's 102nd birthday. And just look at how excited she is about her delicious chocolate cake! Adorable! Things go awry when she attempts to blow out the candles and loses her dentures in the process. But does she wallow? Does she blush and hide her face? No. No, she doesn't. She has herself a good laugh, and brushes the incident off with grace and poise. We could all learn a thing or two about failing from this little old lady.