When we get into a new relationship, we’re not usually anticipating its end. Instead, we’re stuck in the honeymoon phase, full of butterflies in our stomach and getting little twinges of excitement every time our phone lights up with their name.
Of course, most things do come to an end. The question usually is how long that relationship lasted. Was it a quick few months, maybe even only a few weeks? Did we make it to the year-long mark? Were we on-and-off so frequently that we’ve forgotten what our actual anniversary was?
If we’re wondering about our current relationship, perhaps we’d do well to consider what might tell us beforehand if a relationship has staying power or if, as these 20 red flags will indicate, it won’t last longer than a few months.
20 They Hide The Relationship
If one person in the relationship prefers to keep things a secret, it’s a pretty good indicator that they’re not in it for the long haul.
Preferring to keep things under wraps by not telling family or friends or sharing the news on social media could mean that the person has something to hide.
19 They Don’t Talk About Feelings
A healthy relationship requires a degree of vulnerability. Ideally, we feel safe enough with our SO that we’re able to open up to them about almost anything.
If, however, we prefer to keep our cards close to our chest and not share our thoughts and feelings, it could be because we know that the relationships doesn’t have staying power.
18 They Never Apologize
That line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is totally false. When we know that we’re in the wrong, the mature thing to do is apologize.
If we’re refusing to do that, it can lead to a standoff where everyone involved ends up seething with resentment. Refusing to budge means that the fight will never be resolved – and we can’t move forward.
17 They Get Obsessive
In the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in all those butterflies and swoony feelings. However, they usually die down or at least ease up as things move on.
If, however, we or our guy are still remaining obsessive – to the point where neither of us can live our lives without the help of the other – we have a problem.
16 They Make Their Partner Uncomfortable
In a healthy relationship where both people respect and love one another, we should be able to say “no” to things that make us uncomfortable.
If we’re finding ourselves being pressured into doing things we don’t want to do, it’s because our partner is considering only themselves, and that selfishness often indicates the expiration date on the relationship.
15 They Try To ‘Save’ Their Partner
Maybe it sounds romantic to think of a potential partner as a “project,” but it can do more harm than good.
First, it gives the idea that they need to be “fixed” and that only we can do the fixing. Second, it puts us in this “savior” role, which causes a major imbalance of power where we feel more like their warden than their SO.
14 They’re Not A Shoulder To Lean On
Emotional closeness plays the biggest part in whether or not a relationship lasts. Ideally, our SO is the one we go to in a crisis, the one who’s always in our corner and has our back.
We trust them implicitly. If we’re looking elsewhere for that comfort, it could mean that we don’t trust our partner enough to share that side of ourselves.
13 They Keep Their Guard Up
Not all of us are so willing to bare our soul and admit our faults. For some people it can take a lot of time and effort to get to that point.
However, if we find that we’re always hesitant to reveal anything about ourselves and remain uneasy around our partner, it could be because we don’t want them to get close.
12 They Play The Blame Game
Things don’t always go according to plan; such is life. However, when we’re always placing the blame of a crappy day at work on our partner, it’s usually a clear sign that the relationship doesn’t have what it takes to make it.
Now, we’ve brought home our bad attitude, rather than letting it go. Pretty soon, it’ll be the relationship that’s leaving us instead.
11 Their Values Just Don’t Line Up
There are a few major things that most couples agree they should see eye-to-eye on, in order to avoid conflict later on: family, money, and religion.
These make up a good chunk of our value system, and if those things don’t line up, it can spell a dead-end down the line.
10 They Lie About The Little Things
Constantly lying about the little things can be what ends a relationship prematurely. Dishonesty about the little things in a relationship can sow distrust in it.
Lying by omission or withholding information can make a person feel unsafe and insecure, which is exactly what we don’t want to feel in a relationship. It’s a sign of disrespect and could mean a quicker end.
9 They Turn Molehills Into Mountains
Arguments in a relationship are normal as long as they are resolved peacefully and to the benefit of both parties.
If we’re constantly turning small arguments into massive blowouts, we have a problem. If every conflict ends up in a screaming match, we are far more likely to split up than to resolve anything.
8 They’re Keeping Secrets
Withholding something from our SO – unless it’s a birthday gift or fun surprise – is generally a good indicator that the relationship is heading to Splitsville.
While it’s healthy to keep some things private, there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy, with the latter leading us towards a shadowy double life.
7 They Always Disagree
Always disagreeing in a relationship is not only a sign of conflict but a sign of incompatibility. If we can’t see eye-to-eye with our SO at least some of the time, then what’s the point of being with them?
Not being able to come to a mutual decision of where to go for dinner or what movie to watch are trivial disagreements that can quickly add up.
6 They Never Disagree
On the other hand, never disagreeing with our partner can be just as big a sign that the relationship doesn’t have the strength to go the distance!
A healthy relationship will have some conflict, so if we’re always agreeing about everything, it may mean that our SO isn’t an equal partner in the relationship and that one of us has become the “yes man.”
5 They Fight In Mean Ways
As we’ve already said, arguing and fighting in a relationship is normal, but it’s important that we fight fair.
Fighting fairly means dealing with conflict as it arises, not allowing it to simmer and fester so that we can use it against the other person months later when we’re feeling particularly vindictive.
4 No One Likes Them
It can generally be assumed that the family and friends we have want the best for us. They want to see us succeed, be happy, and find love.
Because of that, it should be a major sign that the relationship is doomed to fail if no one in our inner circle can find it in their heart to like our SO.
3 It’s A One-Way Street
In a relationship, both people are supposed to put in the work to meet one another’s needs and feel they’re getting out what they’re putting in.
If only one person is putting in all the work and being the only one to pull their weight, it’s a good bet that this relationship doesn’t have what it takes to make it past a few months.
2 They Run Hot and Cold
One week, your SO is leaving you adorable little notes around your apartment and the next they’re failing to return any of your texts.
When one person is running hot and cold in a relationship, it’s a manipulation tactic that generally assures the fact that this relationship won’t be going anywhere.
1 They’ve Never Been In A Solid Relationship Before
Past behavior is generally a good indicator of future behavior.
If our SO doesn’t have a history of being in long-term relationships or being committed to another person (relative to their age, of course), it may be because he’s not the kind of guy who lets relationships last for very long.