In some cases, white lies are better because being completely sincere can do more harm than good. This is why ob/gyns often say something that isn't entirely true to expecting moms. For example, they can say that childbirth is going to be a breeze, or that they just need to know how to push and nothing bad will happen, or that carrying twins is the same as having one child. They do it for the sake of moms-to-be and just want them to keep calm. They don't want them to expect that they are going to go number 1 and number 2 during labor, that a health issue can be revealed at the first ultrasound, or that the second pregnancy might be much harder than the first one.
Should we blame our ob/gyns for it? Not really. We should just keep in mind that not everything they tell us is true.
20 Childbirth Isn't Difficult At All
Let's be honest and admit that ob/gyns aren't the only ones we have to blame for it. Multiple TV shows and movies showed us that labor is, while rather painful, is actually quite quick and easy. The reality is different. Sure, for some women labor is relatively easy, but it's still not similar to what they show us on screen.
19 Already Had A Baby? You Know Everything!
In most cases, ob/gyns choose not to crush the hopes of expecting moms and just say that the second pregnancy is similar to the first one. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. Every woman is unique and every experience of hers is also unique. The way pregnancy goes depends on so many circumstances that it's impossible to say that it's going to be the same the second, third, or whatever time around.
18 It's All The Same, Even If You Have Multiples
When a woman is expecting multiples, her ob/gyn will probably tell that it's going to be the same as having one baby. It sounds reassuring, but facts tell us that being pregnant with more than one child has a number of differences. The risk of developing certain issues is higher and the mom needs more medical attention, even when everything is just fine.
17 Episiotomy Is A Must
Most moms think that episiotomy is a routine procedure that will definitely be performed after they give birth. They don't even think about asking their ob/gyn if it's possible to skip it. But, in fact, Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends doctors against using routine episiotomy and recommend performing the procedure only when it's absolutely required.
16 Your Bladder Will Be Just Fine
After reading all the scary stories about women peeing and pooping during labor, many moms-to-be ask their ob/gyn if it's going to happen to them. To keep them calm and avoid panic, the doctor will probably say that there is no guarantee that all these things will happen. But they actually know that losing control over bladder and bowel movements is very common during labor.
15 You Should Have An Ultrasound At Every Appointment
Many pregnant women think that ultrasounds are a routine part of every doctor's check-up. Besides, they like seeing their little one on the screen and they love getting photos of them, so they don't mind doing it at all. Nevertheless, ultrasounds shouldn't go overboard and they need to be done only when the doctor sees that it's required to check on the baby or the mom.
14 Go Ahead And Invite Everyone For The First Ultrasound
Nevertheless, a mom-to-be will still need at least a few ultrasounds, and the first one of them is so exciting that she might even want to invite her whole family for it. Ob/gyns understand that they just want to share the joy and allow it, but it's better not to let people come over. After all, there's always a chance that the procedure will reveal a health issue and you don't want it to be announced to everyone like that.
13 Having People Around During Childbirth Is Fine, Too
Having a bunch of people in the delivery room isn't the best idea either. Even though your doctor might seem okay about it, they will actually think the opposite. You see, having many people around is really distracting both for your ob/gyn and for you. Do you want something to distract your doctor from helping you deliver a healthy baby? We're sure you don't.
12 You Just Have To Prepare For Labor
Today there're a lot of ways to prepare for labor, such as prenatal yoga classes. They help moms-to-be concentrate on something other than the pain they will experience during labor, focus on the breath, and go through the whole thing with the least resistance. However, in some cases, nothing can prepare you and you just have to deal with it.
11 Staying On Your Back During Delivery Is Good For You
We're used to seeing women giving birth lying on their back in movies and TV shows and we think it's the way to be. However, it's just the position that's most comfortable for doctors because they can see everything they have to see very well. In reality, there're lots of other positions you can take for giving birth and many of them work much better than this "classic" one.
10 And The Spotlight Is A Must
The spotlight is another thing that we think is common for delivery. Undoubtedly, it's useful because it helps doctors and nurses see better during the process. But these days, some ob/gyns begin realizing that they don't really need it so much. In fact, it's even better to avoid using a spotlight and keep the room dim because bright light hinders contraction hormones.
9 If You Were Tested For Everything, You're Great
It's common for expecting moms to ask their doctors to do as many tests and screenings as possible to ensure that everything is fine with the baby. Nevertheless, when you ask to "test for everything", you'll probably be tested only for a few of the most common infections. If you want it to be literally everything, you need to have a more substantial conversation with the doctor beforehand.
8 No New Kids After 30!
People talk a lot about the so-called "biological clock" saying that it's better to get pregnant before 30 because otherwise the chance of having some issues dramatically increases. In fact, it's not so. You don't suddenly start having fertility problems when you turn 30 and it's certainly possible to give birth to a healthy baby after this age.
7 Get Waxed Before Childbirth
Of course, you want to look as nice as possible during labor and might even think about getting waxed beforehand. If you ask your doctor, they'll let you do it. But the reality is... they don't really care. Believe me, ob/gyns have seen it all and it doesn't matter to them how you look or how much hair you have down there.
6 You Have To Learn How To Push
Many ob/gyns send their patients to childbirth classes where they learn to push properly. Even though it's a good idea to take these classes, you shouldn't think that you won't be able to deliver your baby if you don't attend them. When the labor starts, a reflex is triggered and it's impossible to ignore it, so you will actually know how to push when it all begins.
5 Labor Will Start Quickly
Again, this is something we learn from TV shows and movies, and our doctors don't reassure us that the reality is different. In real life, labor doesn't start as quickly as it does on screen and you don't have to rush to the hospital at the first signs of contractions. It's actually better to wait for some time at home, contact your doctor, and head to the hospital a bit later.
4 You'll Instinctively Know What's Best For Your Baby
Many people say that the knowledge of how to take care of the newborn is instinctive and you'll just know it as soon as your little one is born. But it doesn't always happen. Stress, hormonal surges, and a huge number of new duties sometimes make it impossible to just calm down and listen to the inner voice, so new parents often need someone else's help. And it's totally fine.
3 Eat Three Square Meals A Day With A Bump
When moms-to-be ask about their nutrition during pregnancy, their ob/gyn usually recommends having three square meals per day. However, this rule doesn't apply to everyone. For example, if you're pregnant with multiples, you need a different nutrition plan. Since you need more fuel in this case, it's better for you to have more frequent, but smaller meals throughout the day.
2 Your Little One Will Look Like A Normal Baby Right Away
Most first-time moms think that babies are cute, clean, and pink right from the first moments they are born. So when you see your newborn covered in slime and other fluids that were inside your body, and when you notice that their skin isn't pink but bluish, you might freak out. It's all because your ob/gyn didn't warn you that this is exactly the way a newborn should look.
1 Provide As Much Cognitive Stimulation As Possible
It's extremely beneficial to provide your baby with a lot of cognitive stimulation. You have to talk to them, make eye contact, listen to them, play with them, and so on. It's good for their development, but it doesn't mean that you have to do it every minute of your time. New moms get swamped very often and they need rest once in a while. So give this rest to yourself and don't think that you're a bad mom.
Sources: Life Mag, HuffPost Life