Our friends are there to back us up, to build us up, and to give us advice on everything from what to watch and wear to how to proceed in relationships. However, most of us don’t have pro love gurus as BFFs, so these tips can sometimes be bad.
Opinions differ on how to tell if someone likes someone else, on when to move in with a significant other, on how to communicate, on when to move on, on how to fight, on what should be at the forefront of marriage… So when our pals give us relationship advice, it can, at times, backfire.
That being said, here are 20 not-so-great tidbits and their potential downfalls that we think most people will want to avoid...
20 Catch Attention In Whatever Way Possible
As humans, we all have different tactics on how to attract a mate and how to get someone’s attention. Doing whatever we can to do that may not be the smartest move, though.
We could come across as looking desperate, as someone who is easy, or like a complete mess, in all honesty.
19 Ignore Them To Drive Them Crazy
On the other hand, some may go the opposite route by playing hard to get. If we ignore someone we like, though, they may get the wrong message, feel super hurt, and soon give up on us.
The correct thing to do may actually fall somewhere between grasping for attention and total ignorance.
18 Opposites Attract, Right?
It is an age-old saying, but is it true? Well, there is no specific science when it comes to love.
Our star signs and our behaviors and our jobs won’t just magically mesh with someone else’s due to opposition or a magnetic pull or a horoscope read in a magazine!
17 Change Them For The Better
Let’s say a girl starts liking a bad boy and that her friend encourages her to whip him into shape. This is another poor idea. Hasn’t everyone learned from rom-com flicks?
We can’t really change a person, and we shouldn’t stay with someone just because our friends think we can.
16 Set Expectations High
There is a line between having high expectations and settling. Of course, we should never just settle, but we also need to be open, as well.
If a BFF keeps turning down relationships for us, we may need to take the reins in order to make our own decisions and mistakes.
15 Fall Into Traditional Roles
Each person has their own viewpoint on how responsibilities should be shared, and some people out there may have pals who fight for tradition.
What if a woman wants to work and a man wants to stay at home? What if both girlfriends don’t enjoy cooking and just want to order in every night? What if both spouses share cleaning duties? There is something for everyone!
14 Hint At What Is Wanted, Constantly
A common romantic comedy scene is when the gal pal tells the main character to drop hints all around about wanting to be engaged. This can work, and sometimes, people do need a little push.
But don’t become annoying and selfish, please, and make sure to keep the other person’s wants in mind, too.
13 Be Full Of Surprises
Surprises can be fun, but some people can get carried away. If a significant other never knows what to expect, they may start to feel uneasy or even like they are walking on eggshells.
So sprinkle these gestures in every now and then, but also have some stability in life.
12 Don’t Bring Up Exes
Girlfriends and boyfriends of the past can be tricky, and there may be friends who tell us to avoid this topic at all costs. However, that doesn’t work for everyone!
Some couples tell each other anything and everything and may even be friends with people from each other’s pasts! So this is clearly not a one-size-fits-all piece of advice.
11 Stalk The Exes
On the other hand, a BFF could encourage stalking of the ex: what are they like? Are they better looking? Why did it end? How can we get revenge?
This is another not-so-fab idea, and we hope that is clear! It is natural to be curious, but don’t go overboard.
10 Third Time’s A Charm
Another common saying out there may be brought up when it comes to relationships. We want to reiterate that there is no science. What is meant to be will be!
So don’t let a friend use numbers and life sayings to try and influence a love life in too big of a way.
9 Thanks… Next
We can’t say how long to stick with a relationship, but there does seem to be an outlook that many have where they go through significant others quickly.
Everyone must learn their personal deal breakers and boundaries, as well as when to move on and when to fight for someone.
8 We Deserve Better
On a similar note, there is this word “deserve.” It can be hard to decide or think about what we “deserve” (or want or need), so it must be super tough for someone on the outside to make that decision for us!
We must all be kind in love but be true to ourselves, too.
7 Everyone Has A Soulmate
Has the movie industry tweaked our views on love? Maybe. But the truth is that not everyone gets married or has kids or ends up in a house with a picket fence.
Relationships look different. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Being fine with being single is a thing. And dating around forever may work for some!
6 Always Speak What’s On Your Mind
These next two points cause numerous fights between people… First up, a friend may tell us to speak up and out, to point out everything that annoys us, and to make sure our partner knows exactly what we are thinking at all times.
This is so not the way to go!
5 Bite That Tongue
Oh, so we should bite our tongues and hold anger in instead? That’s not the one true answer either! There are times for both, so don’t let someone sway you one way over the other every single time.
Communicate in an effective way, and learn when to let things slide.
4 Move In Together
Some BFFs could say that moving in together is a solution, a good step forward, and a natural progression.
Doing this too soon could be bad for a relationship, though, and some couples may want to, say, get married first or date for a set amount of time before doing this.
3 Take It Slow
Yes, having support systems is great, but our pals can’t make all of our decisions for us, especially when it comes to taking it slow or not.
Two people are going to have to talk about this, respect each other’s wishes, and know for sure when the next steps should be taken in a relationship.
2 Show Lots Of Trust
And, of course, there is the debate of being too trustworthy and being totally carefree, and we are sure besties around the world have their set-in-stone thoughts on this!
Couples should most definitely trust each other, but being too trusting and forgiving can lead to hurt and betrayal at times.
1 Worry About Everything
Couples should not worry about every little thing. If a text isn’t responded to in a minute or less, if a partner comes home late, or if a significant other likes a pretty photo of someone online, don’t jump to conclusions.
Trust that gut of yours, and trust the other person in the relationship, too!