I might work from home now, but I've done some time in an office and I know the struggle is real. In my last office job I spent hours in my cubicle working on spreadsheets and praying for Jesus to come back to save me from another day of menial labor. Offices are godless places filled with fluorescent lighting, broken coffee makers, passive-aggressive sticky notes, and uncomfortable desk chairs that ruin backs. The worst part is being stuck in that hell hole from 9-5 (at least). That's not even counting the time we spend commuting there.
Why do we do this to ourselves? There's not enough office birthday cake in the world to make up for the fact that we waste hours of our lives in a poorly lit room filled with people we probably don't even like. With the exception of a select few, most of us would never choose to hang out with their coworkers in our free time. Those who DO have an amazing office environment filled with incredible coworkers should consider themselves lucky. Obviously they passed that chain letter on back in 5th grade and it paid off. The rest of us need a few laughs to help get us through yet another monotonous day.
Time to head to the office bathroom and enjoy these 23 relatable snaps from fellow office workers.
23 Failed Attempts
There's nothing worse than really needing a vacation but being unable to get one. Sometimes daydreaming about our time off is the only thing that gets us through the day. I used to work for South Carolina state government (yeah, it's just as bad as one can imagine) and worked in a tiny cubicle surrounded by other tiny cubicles. After listening to my co-worker smack his gum for eight hours every day I would just stare at my beach screensaver and imagine that I was there instead. I would get so into it that I wouldn't even hear the phone ring.
Once I had the opportunity to go with my husband on a work trip to California and I was crazy excited about it. I imagined us lying on the beach, eating In-N-Out, and shopping on Rodeo Drive. I didn't even consider the fact that my boss wouldn't give me the time off because I was young and naive and new to the workforce. I'll never forget the day he looked at the calendar and told me "that's the end of the quarter, we're really going to need someone in here." Snapchat didn't exist then, but if it had, my snap would have looked a lot like this one. I was devastated and angry at The Man, and swore to myself that one day I'd make my own schedule and never find myself in that position again. I have arrived.
22 Snapchat Resume?!
Believe it or not, this guy submitted a snapchat story in lieu of a resume and the Internet lost its mind.
After looking for a job for almost a year (with no success), Elski Felson noticed that Snapchat was hiring and decided to think outside of the box by creating a "snapchat story resume." In the story, Felson says, "Personally, I hate paper resumes. I don't think a piece of paper can encapsulate anybody, so I decided to make a My Story. I broke it down line-for-line of exactly what [they're] looking for in a person."
Felson's story was funny, creative, but he still made sure to include all of his credentials at the end of his video. In a world of boring paper resumes, he certainly made himself stand out. He answered all of the typical "interview" questions that we can relate to, but unlike us, he managed to do it in a way that made everyone who saw it laugh. His resume blew-up on Reddit, and those who are curious can watch it here. I don't know if he actually got the job, but he certainly deserves an A+ for effort. Most of us just use Snapchat to keep boredom at bay, but this guy took it to a whole new level. I bet Snapchat doesn't have a boring office.
21 Time Only Flies When You're Having Fun
I think we can all relate to this. Just like when we were back in high school, nothing will make a day drag by like being bored and ready to leave. Keeping an eye on the office clock does NOT make time go faster- it only makes it worse. It seems like an hour has passed by, but in office time it's only five minutes. Time doesn't seem to work the same way once you step out of your car and walk into the office.
When you leave the workplace it feels like everything is operating at lightning speed. Evenings are nonexistent. Weekends are never long enough. Vacations are over in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, you're back in the office and slowly dying inside. A lot of people try to the pass the time by keeping busy with work, playing unauthorized games of Solitaire, taking poop breaks, and reading Snapchat articles on the Internet (hi)! It never works, especially if you hate your job. If you're lucky enough to love what you do, the rules of time seem to change. Once I started writing for a living I noticed that there were never enough hours in the day, but when I worked in an office it seemed like all I had were hours. Long, boring, life-sucking hours.
20 When The Cat's Away...
Nothing is better than walking into work and hearing the words "the boss is out today."
Look at these two workers, smiling in the office and taking selfies! That's probably the first time they've smiled in weeks. Back in school, substitute teachers always meant that there wouldn't be any "real" work that day and you could get away with just hanging with your friends. As an adult, that's basically the same thing that happens when the boss isn't in the office. No real work gets done, people take insanely long lunch breaks, and everyone loosens their tie a little bit (metaphorically speaking). Sure, office productivity is sure to tank, but "mental health days" are IMPORTANT and NECESSARY.
Most of us are able to find at least one good office friend who hates the office as much as we do. It's like the Pam to our Jim (a la The Office). My office friend's name was Penny, and whenever the boss man wasn't around, we lived our best lives. We'd eat our lunches on the big leather couch in the foyer (even though we were only supposed to eat in the break room) and we'd skip out about 30 minutes early and no one would notice. It was fabulous.
19 Drink Away The Pain
Anyone who's been stuck in a cubicle for 8+ hours has one answer for this question: Yaaaaaaaaaasssssss!!!!!
Have you ever been at work and things just started spiraling out of control? It starts off as a normal day until you lose a customer account, spill coffee on your keyboard, get told off by your boss, and lock your keys in your car. Those days are the worst, but a regular day in the office is justification enough for a trip to the pub after work. Just the fact that you survived hours of drudgery is reason enough to celebrate. My work friend and I used to always hit up the bar after work and complain about every single person we worked with, and our little ritual was as necessary as breathing. I'm not saying people should use work as an excuse to become an alcoholic, but having a drink at the end of the day is a really good stress reliever. It's even better when you're drinking with an (cool) co-worker who understands what you go through every day. Who else can understand how annoying Karen from Accounting is?! We all need a break from the monotony of office life, so when someone asks you if it's pub time, the answer is always yes.
18 Office Clown
Funny co-workers make working WAY more fun, don't they? Whoever is responsible for trolling this Keurig with a picture of a sumo wrestler is a freaking genius, because it really does look like he's crapping hot liquid poop straight into the cup. It's easy to lose your sense of humor when looking at spreadsheets all day, but thank God for people who remind us not to take ourselves too seriously. Think about it! Someone used company time to find a picture of a squatting sumo wrestler on the internet, print (and cut) it out, and then tape it to the office Keurig. That's some damn ingenuity right there. GIVE THAT GUY A RAISE!
As great as this is, I bet this sumo picture didn't last long before Karen from Accounting ripped it off and threw it in the trash. Sadly, not everyone appreciates hilarious and creative office pranks. For every funny person in the office, there's an equally miserable one. You'll recognize them by their dismal expression, lack of sense of humor, and their inability to lighten up. Usually they're the same ones leaving passive-aggressive notes on the break room door. Maybe they're just mad because no one invites them out for a beer after work.
17 Working Overtime
17:30 is 5:30 p.m. for you Americans out there. You're welcome. I don't know what this girl is complaining about in this snapchat, though. Working until 5:30 p.m. is pretty standard in the United States (unfortunately).
The worst thing about a salaried position is not getting paid for overtime, amiright? My husband is a chemist and has a great job, but he's been known to work until 10 p.m. at night running samples. Sometimes he'll even have to work weekends. Unfortunately for him, he gets paid the same amount per year regardless of how many hours he puts in. If he got paid per hour then we'd be raking in the dough. My best friend who lives in Asia has it even worse! She once told me that no one in her office leaves before 8 p.m. MADNESS! What if you have kids? What if you have a life? We should be working to live, not living to work! Once 5 p.m. rolls around most people are throwing their computers out the window, grabbing their car keys and running out the door as fast as their sensible flats can carry them. Okay, maybe not throwing their computers out the window. It's best not to destroy company property if you want to keep your job.
16 That's What It Feels Like
Does your office sometimes feel like your second home?
Like I mentioned in the previous post, my best friend has an office job in Manila and she never leaves the office before 8 p.m. Because her company is headquartered in Europe (and she's in the Philippines), she'll often find herself having conference calls at midnight because of the time difference. The woman literally never leaves! She even has a stash of deodorant and a toothbrush in her desk office drawer. It's not just her, though. The whole "work until you die" thing seems to be part of the company culture. I can't with that kind of madness. She might as well just stop paying rent on her apartment and have her bed moved to the office. Her office isn't like a second home, it IS her home!
I might work from home, but even I spend an insane amount of my day in my home office. Sometimes I forget that other parts of my house even exist. My husband loves his job because a lot of it is spent on the road visiting other companies and he doesn't feel like he has to see the same thing every day. I get that completely. Many times I'll go write in my local coffee shop because I desperately need a change of scenery. Think about how many hours we spend working in the exact same environment. Kind of sad, isn't it?
15 Office Eye Candy
Looks like this person just found themselves a hot piece in the office! It certainly makes the day go by easier. I'm a happily married woman, but I can still appreciate a nice view now and again.
People get bored of looking at the same tired, pinched faces after a while, so it's always nice to see a fresh (and reasonably good-looking) person walk through the door. It's even better if they're super fine (and easy to work with). I guess it could be considered distracting, especially if your mission is to get in their pants in lieu of working. Office flirtations can be fun, but beware! If you end up in a relationship with a co-worker, there's always a chance that things won't work out. Do you really want to be stuck in the same office as your former flame? I wouldn't! Work is hard enough as it is without adding personal drama to the mix. As my dad always says, "don't piss in the water you drink from." Like I said, it's always fun to look, but it's not always smart to touch. Unless you end up getting married and having babies and living happily ever after, like Jim and Pam from The Office. I would fully support such a relationship.
THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!
Unfortunately for some of us, working on the weekends kind of comes with the job (I'm writing this on a Saturday), but the majority of office workers get more excited about Friday than they do about their own birthday. We all know the weekends are never long enough, but that doesn't stop us from making overly-ambitious weekend plans (that we'll never recover from by Monday). Friday night is the best night, because you still have two days of freedom to look forward to. Saturday is fun, but then you're only down to one free day and you're always aware of it. Sunday totally sucks because you know you've got to go back to work in the morning. Fridays, though? Fridays are magic.
Yeah, you still have to go to work on Fridays, but it's not that bad when there's an end in sight. 5 p.m. on Friday is the ultimate finishing line! Fridays are filled with cheery office workers who say "TGIF!" and salute you with their coffee mugs. It's like the ultimate white person thing to do. You might even get a smile out of Karen from Accounting. Anything thing is possible on a Friday!
13 Working Hard, Or Hardly Working?
Those are some quality doodles, random office lady! This is proof that no one ever really grows up. We're all just taller versions of the kids who used to surreptitiously pass notes in class.
With the creation of e-mail and conference calls, why are office meetings still necessary? There's nothing worse than getting to the end of an hours-long meeting only to realize that you could have gotten all of that information via a quick e-mail. Meetings actually require you to sit up straight and look vaguely interested in what's being said, and sometimes that's a tall order. This lady had the right idea, though. Want to look like the most engaged person in the room? Just hold a notebook in your hand and start doodling! If no one has a notebook and you don't want to look suspicious, just open up your laptop and start typing random words. It's better than sitting there and slowly going brain dead.
I like how this the lady in this snapchat is really feeling herself, though. Look at that expression! She'd fool me. She looks like she's engaged, alert, and ready to work, but she's really just snap chatting pictures of herself because she thinks she looks hot. Awesome.
12 I See What You Did There
If you don't like or appreciate puns, then this might not be the snapchat for you. That's not to say it isn't brilliant, though, because it is. Haters gonna' hate.
If you're literally holding a case of paper strips labeled "Monday" and this ultimate dad joke doesn't come to mind, can you really say you have a sense of humor? Nothing will make an office worker laugh (or groan) like busting out a corny pun in the office. Just ask my British husband! He is both hated and loved in equal measure. Sometimes puns fall right into your lap (like this one), and sometimes they require clever forethought. Next time you're bored in the office just take a look around you and see what you can come up with. When you're surrounded by office supplies there's a staple supply of jokes (yeah, I did that). Hand someone a stapler and ask, "do we have a stapler relationship?" When Karen from accounting spills ink down her blouse, hand her some white-out and say "it'll come white out!" Buy your co-worker a bunch of office supplies for their birthday and yell "SUPPLIES!" Don't worry, you'll be out of a job in no time.
11 An Act Of Defiance
If the guy who insists on vegan birthday cakes is allowed on this couch, then the goodest employee of the year should be too. No wonder she's staging a protest every single day! Does she even have a name, or do these human turds insist on calling her "office dog?" I bet she's the only employee in the company who doesn't complain and this is the thanks she gets. They probably don't even let her use the Keurig or the office bathroom. This is office discrimination! Contact Human Resources, Office Dog!
In all seriousness, every office should have an office dog. Petting a dog has been proven to lower blood pressure and relieve stress. Oh, you're allergic to pets? That's what medication is for, fools! If every office had a pet, productivity would probably sky rocket! Screw calling in sick, I'd go into the office every single day of the year. Even better, I'd bring my own dog! She could have her bed right under my desk and comfort me when the crap hits the fan. I could take her on my lunch breaks and train her to growl at any co-worker that gets on my nerves. She'd win "employee of the year" every single year, and I wouldn't even be mad. Not really, my dog is a pain in the arse.
10 Office Pranks FTW
This drawing is realistic enough to fool me, and I don't even need glasses! This just proves that the vast majority of employees have way too much free time on their hands. If this guy can draw like that, why is he even working in an office?! He needs to be creating art instead of trolling the lady in the office with the bad eyes. This could actually pass as a tattoo design!
I've never really pranked anyone in an office, but I kind of wish I had. Putting your co-worker's stapler in a jello mold is an Office classic, of course. I've heard of people wrapping phones up like Christmas presents and filling up entire cubicles with balloons. Some pranks are big enough to require months of planning! It's amazing how dedicated and creative employees are when it comes to pranking a fellow office mate, but when it comes to getting their work done on time...not so much. The same person who can never seem to show up for work on time will be in the office at 6 a.m., happily rearranging the keys on someone else's computer or covering their desktop with sticky notes. The truth, it hurts.
9 Making Friends In The Office (Literally)
Anyone who's ever worked in an office alone knows how mind-numbingly boring it can be. The silence is almost enough to make you miss the annoying co-workers you always try to avoid (almost). This guy must have reached next-level heights of boredom, because he went out of his way to "snapchat" some office mates to life. This picture is only one of eight hilarious snaps in which he parodies office life using nothing but crudely drawn stick figures.
This is everything I never knew I wanted. Some of his other snaps include him wishing "Jen" good luck on her Pap smear, giving "Dan" a ride home, laughing with "Jim" in the next cubicle, getting a promotion from the boss, and dissing "Dakota," the office vegan. It's so relatable that you almost forget you're looking at stick figures instead of real people. His facial expressions really sell it, too. He really does look like he's having an enjoyable discussion with Kyle. He's probably telling him all about the hot date night he had at Outback Steakhouse last Saturday. Oh, Kyle, you crazy guy!
Being alone in the office was always a dream come true for me, but I guess this would help an extrovert cope with loneliness. Whatever works!
8 The Goodest Employee
As I mentioned earlier, every single office in the world needs an office dog. I'd go to work every day, including sick days! Look at this little baby, comforting a stressed out employee! Give this dog a job in the human resource department!
My ultimate fantasy would be bringing my own dog to work, but I know that would never work out. Do you see how the dog in this snapchat is gently laying his paw on the employee's lap, patiently waiting to be petted? That's not how my dog operates. She would NEVER be happy with me sitting in front of a computer all day and not paying attention to her. There's a reason I have to ban her from my office at home. If there's a computer in my lap, she'll try to knock it out of my hands. If my hand isn't petting her then she'll crawl into my lap until it is (she's over 50 lbs). She is truly the neediest dog in the world. She reminds me of a crazy, possessive spouse (but in dog form). I'd never get any work done with her around! Someone would have to call security and have her escorted out the building. I love her, but she crazy.
7 Clever, Clever
Look, another office pun! If this one didn't put a smile on your face then you're probably Karen from Accounting, who wouldn't know a joke if it punched her in the face.
Whoever did this really knows how to chase after a pun, because this took some effort! I wonder how they got the idea? Maybe they were just lying in bed the night before, dreading the work day, when God sent it to them in a vision. This is like the perfect Snapchat pun. This is the Lord's work.
I hope that everyone in the office appreciated this stellar pun, but I'm sure there were some haters in the office who accused him of wasting ink. It's okay, not everyone gets God's sense of humor. The Good Book says that the Lord's messengers will be unfairly persecuted, after all.
If everyone had this kind of sense of humor the office would be LIT. It's so much easier to be productive when you're having a good time. Office jokesters bring happiness and joy to an otherwise despondent atmosphere. Be inspired, readers, and step out of your comfort zone! You can make someone's day a little brighter with nothing but a printer and a piece of paper.
6 There's Power In Numbers
Can someone please tell me who these people are and how I can work alongside them? Ok thanks bye.
Costume days are always fun, even at work. ESPECIALLY at work. Office environments are not usually places where you can let your hair down (unless you work for Google), so it's important to seize the chance to be silly together. The only time we ever got to wear costumes in the office was on Halloween, but people got really into it. There's something amazing about seeing the boss walk into work dressed like Princess Leia or Darth Vader. One of my co-workers came dressed as the Pope and printed out a sign to put on his office door that said THE VATICAN. He actually made us "donate to the church" before we could come in by sliding a penny under the door. I'm not even kidding. His name was Bob and it was his last year before retirement. He will forever be remembered as an office legend.
I'm not exactly sure what's going on in this picture, but it looks hella fun. Maybe this was some weird team-building exercise? I can get behind that. It's probably pretty hard to type with tiny t-rex arms, but they look focused and excited to be there. That's a nice change, right? The power of costumes.
5 Do What Makes You Feel Good
This funny snapchat is actually part of a series, but I couldn't post them all. In the next picture it's revealed that his briefcase is actually filled with snacks. That's a briefcase I can get behind.
When I got my first writing job I was SO excited to get a fancy shmancy computer bag for my laptop. For some reason that represented success to me. I went out and got myself an expensive gray leather bag and I still treat that thing like royalty. Seriously, it doesn't even touch the ground. It doesn't cost as much as my laptop but I sure as hell act like it does. Maybe that's how business people feel about briefcases. When my husband got his dream job he went out and bought a nice leather "travel bag" since we knew he'd be traveling a lot. I think that represented success to him, too. Clever marketing has taught us that BAGS EQUAL SUCCESS. Whether it be a computer bag, a purse, a briefcase, a travel bag, or even a book bag. I remember always wanting an expensive book bag as a kid so I could impress my friends. I never got one, but maybe that's the root of our obsession. It starts young.
4 Welcome Back
Two week vacations are fabulous, but there's nothing worse than the day you have to go back to work. Goodbye, leisurely lie-ins. Goodbye, sunshine and fruity cocktails. Hello plants growing in your keyboard. Wait, what?!
I've got to admit, this is a solidly good prank to pull on a co-worker who's ditched you for the beach for two weeks. Do you want to know how it works? I've got you, fam.
All you need to pull off this prank are Chia seeds, potting soil, and a spray bottle. You don't even need a green thumb! Before you start this prank, make sure you have enough time. You can expect to see some results in as few as 48 hours, but real growth (pictured above) can take up to a week. If your co-worker is bailing on you for two weeks then you've got the perfect amount of time. First, spread the potting soil in the tiny keyboard crevices with a fork. Second, wet the soil with a spray bottle. Third, carefully spread chia seeds all over the keyboard. Fourth, use plastic bags to make a drip tray and seal up the keyboard, creating a greenhouse effect. For the final step- lay the sealed keyboard in a sunny place and watch it grow.
3 There's Nothing Worse
OMG, no. If you're a manager, please don't do this to your employees. That new task can wait until the next morning, can't it? OCD people (like myself) will be stressing about this new task all night long if you assign it to them at the very end of the day.
By the time my day ends, I want to know that I accomplished everything that I set out to accomplish. Getting a new task (especially if it's a big one) at 4:59 p.m. would ruin my entire day. It doesn't matter how productive I've previously been, I'll always obsess over the one thing I couldn't finish. It's like a sickness. You're probably thinking it's no big deal, just do it the next day. I know that makes sense, but it still doesn't help me. I will inevitably end up working on it the next day, but I don't want to go to sleep thinking about it. Does that make sense? Even if it doesn't, I think we can all agree that any tasks assigned at 4:59 p.m. are from the Devil Himself. It's like when you finish the dishes and your family member comes and dumps five new plates in the sink. WTF, guys. No. Not okay.
2 Put It In Pespective
Next time you have a bad day, come back to this article and take a look at this picture. Have you ever broken an egg in your house? It's not just gross, it's practically impossible to clean up. When you use a paper towel half of it sticks to the towel and half of it sticks to the floor. Same thing happens if you use a mop, and that's just one broken egg yolk! Can you imagine cleaning up this mess? Those are hundreds of broken eggs! Are they wearing helmets because they expect even more eggs to fall from the sky and crack on their heads?
I don't know who was responsible for this disaster, but I'm guessing it's the guys cleaning it up. You don't even need to punish an employee for this because the aftermath is punishment enough. Next time your foot falls asleep at your desk or your cursor freezes at work, think about these guys. There's not enough paychecks in the world to make this situation anything less than a nightmare. Sure, you might be dealing with an irate customer over the phone, but are you having to crouch down on the floor and clean up hundreds of broken eggs BY HAND? Didn't think so. Keep it in perspective.
1 We All Need Pick-Me-Ups
Days in the office can get pretty tedious, so it's important to find something to look forward to. Whether it's the prospect of a delicious lunch or an iced coffee made out to "Mrs. Clooney," we all need things to help perk us up. My husband blasts music in the lab all day. I go to my favorite coffee shop and order a masala chai because it's too early to order a beer. My friend goes on a walk around the lake during her lunch break. These are the kinds of things that keep our energy up and make our work lives more bearable. When I used to work in an office we would all spend half the morning planning on where to go to lunch. Everyone had a different opinion so sometimes we would draw straws. I also had a co-worker that brought her tennis shoes to work so she could get all her steps in (she had a Fitbit). Every time she hit her goal she would let out a big WHOOP and everyone would clap. See? Work doesn't always have to be soul-destroying! Sometimes, on a really REALLY good day, it can even be fun. Sometimes. Maybe. Okay, that's BS. I just finished this article and I feel like I won the lottery.