Before we start out, I have a bit of a controversial opinion: the problem isn’t with McDonald's’ food, the problem is with the people that go. Okay, the problem is also with everything McDonald's touches because their menu items have some messed up things hiding inside. Those fries need to rot one of these days, don't they? Eternal youth isn’t worth whatever chemicals is in that food.

But, back to the problem at hand...

No person can resist McDonald’s every day of their life, so naturally some of the world’s weirdest food lovers are attracted to those golden arches. But I’m arguing, however, that the crazy they bring is all their own. McDonald's’ food probably does everything to your body under the sun, but nothing has been proven that eating their food makes you weird(er). Just super obese. Here are some of the strangest people to visit McDonald's.

23 When Working At McDonald's Is Part Of Your Scheme

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This is some gnarly guerrilla marketing if I've ever seen one. Possibly too guerrilla perhaps? Definitely. I love the moment of hesitation these parents must have felt when they saw the mixtapes and wondered, maybe this is just the toy that comes with the Happy Meal nowadays? Huh, McDonald's wasn't advertising this as the toy like they usually do. Maybe they want an underground scene that’s in on these toys instead of their usual method of flaunting it through commercials. Maybe this is the next level of psychology in marketing to kids, who knows? And then there’s no more time to consider how perplexing this mystery tape is because the car needs to move forward in the line, the food smells amazing and the kid probably already snapped the mixtape in half.

22 When The Drive-Thru Offers a Loophole

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Apparently the drive-thru sign was too vague. Sure, more vague than if it were the correct spelling of “through” but that’s not the issue just yet. You could, technically, scooter through a drive through or take your dog sled out for a spin. Or if you have a horse, you can do this. Really my only issue with this image is that McDonald's doesn’t sell horse food. So this horse is just supposed to smell those fries and not get in on it? Does McDonald's smell good to horses? It definitely smells good to raccoons and dogs, but maybe delicious smells come across differently in varying species? Anyway, I think the fry grease would make the reins dangerously slippery but these people obviously don’t care about anyone else’s opinions. They’ve got their weirdly ancient wagon and their food. Step aside.

21 A Big Day

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While looking at this picture and seeing what a terrifying and violent fire is raging on, all I can think of is: this must happen a lot. This can’t be all that rare, can it? There must be a McDonald’s grease fire every moment of every day at some location in the world. There’s just so many McDonald's locations (I wouldn’t use the word restaurant that generously) and so much deep fry vats going at full charge, while being operated by people who hate their lives and are daydreaming of an alternate universe. This kind of thing must break out all the time. Anyway, the caption is more right than it even knows — really the only way to burn off all the calories McDonald's has, is to just level the place with fire and start over.

20 A Tale As Old As Time

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How else would that headline have possibly ended? What second line other than “collapses and goes to hospital” would follow that first sentence? “Living off”? So we should take away that she's been eating McNuggets for every meal? Every single meal? Including breakfast? Is she storing leftover nuggets at her own home for a late night snack? Or is she just making the trek out to her local McDonald's no matter the hour? Fine, I’ll believe that her morning routine was adapted to include a stop at McDonald's. But even at that hour, she’s not getting an Egg McMuffin? Nuggets all the way? Yeesh. This had to have been for a bet, right? It couldn’t have been motivated by her own personal enjoyment. I hope she won free healthcare if this was a bet.

19 When This Keeps Happening

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First off, my deepest thanks to whoever is moderating these McDonald's posts. Thank you for keeping an eye on what must be an unending stash of incredibly depressing posts and taking note of all the fish you see. You’re the babysitter to a corner of the Internet no-one else wants to or cares about maintaining. If it weren’t for that person’s unpaid, thankless hours spent perusing McDonald’s posts, the rest of us would only know about the one fish we’re looking at. Sure, we’d wonder how in the world this could have happened and why  was the fish okay (they couldn’t have been), but we wouldn’t have known that this had actually happened before. I just really like that they were clearly two different fish; this isn't one scaly little dude on tour. This is an epidemic.

18 Ordering Off The Secret Menu

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That is… well jeez. That’s a lot to see in your own cup holder on a hot summer day. All you wanted was a treat and you got a brush with the Prince of Evil. I guess I’ll take a cursed McFlurry. I mean, how is it different from a regular McFlurry? Neither melt when left outside? Fine then, if it’s the same cost. There’s just no way this McDonald’s employee meant to make this or would ever know how to recreate this because… who even could make a furious burning skull out of strawberry syrup and not real ice cream? No one could do this on purpose, that’s like toasting bread with the Virgin Mary on it in a regular toaster. Yeah, there's no cheating with those little molds that emblazon your toast with a Virgin Mary. That’s the quitter’s way.

17 When You're Trying To Help

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I’m sure Kim appreciated the thought. If you’re willing to capitalize off your own ugly crying face, you could probably use a carb-y snack. You know, enjoy the things in life that will in no way benefit you or build up your brand.

(Also, that’s the perfect use for that phone case. It’s also a pretty innocent thing to put in someone else’s mouth, considering the options.)

Ugh, crying while eating junk food is really the best and most unflattering look on anyone. It’s just a whole new level of letting yourself go. And trying to talk while crying and also chewing? Oh man, if you can love someone after seeing them do that then you’re probably their mother. Or a better friend than anyone deserves. Or a dog and you were waiting for them to drop their food.

16 Making An Honest Living

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This post doesn't say “attempts to trade.” This guy completed his transaction.

He was not interacting with an undercover cop who wanted to trick him into the most ridiculous of illicit deals, but with another human being who genuinely wanted a baby and had access to 15 Big Macs. This story is so much worse than even “guy wants to give up baby for Big Macs,” because he made that thought a reality. Did he approach this person with a fully formed offer or did it arise naturally that he really didn’t want the baby he had? Who has that kind of conversation at a McDonald's? Were the Big Macs his idea or the buyer’s preferred form of currency? Also, how likely was it that this definitely happened in Florida?

15 When Your Best Isn't Nearly Good Enough

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I would say you tried but you clearly didn’t. 'F' for effort and 'D' for result. This is one of those situations where not trying actually took more effort than just trying a little tiny bit.

This just isn’t how anyone eats a burger or sandwich. The cheese is never one with the bread. Even with the most perverse, demented KFC sandwich—where the bread is fried chicken and the sauce is fried chicken and all the vegetables are all fried chicken—the cheese is still never the bun. This was just clearly assembled by someone who either didn’t hear the customer wanted cheese or after it was sent back for not having cheese. And what the customer received really was worse than just going without cheese.

14 When The Line Is So Long

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Sometimes you can’t wear your work uniform anywhere without getting made fun of. If this guy was a Burger King employee, he probably couldn’t be seen at the neighboring McDonald's. If he was a doctor — that wouldn’t look great either. But a historical reenactor is one of those uniforms that’s hilarious in any setting. It’s hilarious when they check their phones and when they see an airplane without freaking out... Even if you see one driving home! It’s just a funny job and a funny get-up. Of course, I’m really giving this guy the benefit of the doubt by assuming he’s wearing this for a job or that he at least has a job. But that’s me trying to be an optimist — I'm still making fun of him, just slightly less than I could.

13 When It's Not Enough

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Were they going to Photoshop an order window in this post after driving off (walking away) and blasting it online? Or would this crew just edit the entire scene using CGI?t Is this the new, eco-friendly version of a car that’s two thirds less car? This car is like if cars could be made as shorts instead of pants. If cars stopped at the knee, it’d be this car. Actually, that’s a powerful argument against men never wearing shorts again because this is ridiculous. It’s not even a Flintstone car, it’s more like a slutty Flintstones car that’s super short. I just don’t understand how that teenager found a button up shirt and tie, and his friends couldn’t even get the rest of a cardboard box. Priorities, guys. Also, buckle up, y’all.

12 Nice Try

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Oh, if only it was that simple, but jaw calisthenics aren’t a real form of exercise. Dabbing ranch off your face also isn’t cardio and even if your McFlurry is semi-frozen, spoon digging isn’t the same as just lifting weights. If we could have any of those be actually healthy, what a happier world we’d all live in. That 'M' actually stands for so many things: McDonalds', the morgue... Actually, that’s it. From McDonald's to the Morgue in just a few bites, which is actually way better service than you get from most McDonald's when you think about it. It’s an effective system. This McDonald's in particular is actually closer to the grave than other McDonald's' if only because it’s obviously a truck stop McDonald's. That's an extra special McDonald's. 

11 A Hopeless Dreamer

dailymail.co.uk

This guy’s just trying to class up the joint a little bit. Actually, I’m amazed that this picture seems to have been taken from within a McDonald's. It’s incredible he wasn’t kicked out. I’d be impressed if he was even playing in the parking lot because that can’t be okay either. This can't be easily approved because that would mean McDonald’s everywhere would have DJs, right? Isn’t a procedure in one store most likely the procedure in all stores? Oh man, what if they decided to add a huge cost to the business and it wasn’t by buying fresh vegetables or actual meat — but by providing live music? That would be the weirdest business venture ever for McDonald's, way weirder than whatever is in the meat. Well, dream on buddy. You're hurting people less than the food.

10 A Good Going Out Look

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If you’re wondering what’s special about this picture — that’s underwear on her head. Yup, undies. They're fairly clean, presumably children’s sized undies. Why? I can not imagine. When I say that I can’t imagine what function a pair of underwear has on your head or if it benefits your hair somehow I really mean it. I’m not just saying, hey that’s weird. I mean that my brain physically is coming up blank on what this pair of underwear is supposed to be adding to her life. She put them on her head because she thought it was a good idea, right? But what part of that idea exactly was appealing? What was it this morning that was so painful it couldn’t just be healed with McDonald's but also needed this shameful addition?

9 Absolutely The Worst Of All

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I prefer to live as if every surface in a public space has either been died on, bled on, or had something less polite happen on it. Honestly, in all my neurotic wonderings, I really never considered this. I really never assumed a mother would clean their child’s nasty little booty on a table. There’s a bathroom in this McDonald’s, right? It’s not the only McDonald’s in the world without a bathroom or one of the very few food places without a bathroom? And that bathroom presumably has a clean, open space for exactly this behavior? Look, let’s put aside that this is one of the least hygienic things that can occur in a store selling food. Aren't people's stares and gasps making it hard to concentrate on swaddling?

8 Too Much Of A Good Thing

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It feels like it should be more difficult to make a meal at McDonald’s expensive than just doing this. Doesn't this feel like cheating, somehow? Also, they dumped out all those fries they just bought, right? No matter how many French fries you buy, they come in some kind of wrapping. You don’t just order a maximum amount and the employees all of a sudden sell them to you loose? Obviously these kids aren’t going to eat all of these French fries, but it’s also super unlikely they’ll actually clean up this mess. Five minutes from now when it’s stopped being funny, they’ll definitely just sidle out without making too much eye contact with the employees; the same employees who then have to quite literally shovel all this into a trash can.

7 Not A Pretty Sight

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McDonald’s employees must put up with their fair share of hell, but this really seems like a lot. I’m just happy that this McDonald’s employee was obviously making fun of this person at least a fraction as much as they deserved. We can be assured of that since this picture was taken from inside the payment booth. You should at least get a picture if you have to take money from a man laying on the hood of his cherry red car, and then hand him food when he obviously deserves to be sent far, far away. This kid was probably the employee’s friend and that’s why he’s pulling this nonsense, but that smile really creeps me out. That kid should just be thankful he has friends and stop harassing them at their workplace.

6 When You Take Precautions

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I can only assume he’s wearing this laundry basket for self defense. Fine, that’s an absolutely ridiculous sentence but I stand by it. That’s the only explanation that makes sense. Protection from what? Who knows. I can never tell you that. I can’t get inside his mind like some super sleuth. What I really like is not knowing whether or not he took this off to eat. I just love the image of him starting out of his laundry basket with his French fires. Sure, they might fall on the basket but they fit. Maybe the nuggets need a little finessing to fit inside. But that burger is a lost cause. You have to sneak it under the basket (when no one’s looking or they’ll attack) or rip it up into bite size pieces. 

5 When You Can't Be Identified

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Right, we’re back at it with the issue of wearing costumes to McDonald's. It’s all fun and good if you want a stranger posting your picture online so you can be made fun of forever, but it’s just not practical. I’m personally familiar with these rubber horse masks (doesn’t matter how or why, but a friend owns more than a few) and they have a small hole in the mouth. It’s barely enough room for a fry to fit. I mean, even that’s a squeeze. Even if you put the fries under your mask, the whole mask will smell like fries. Hold up, that might be the point... You can build your own French fry sauna and bask in that. I need to borrow a rubber horse head and someone’s car.

4 When You're Making It Special

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Sure, these people might be lost and too proud to admit it. Then again, it’s also definitely true that they brought their own chopsticks to McDonald's. Are those their own chairs or are McDonald's chairs retro nowadays? I'm not sure. That’s definitely their tablecloth, candle, candle lighter, and wine flutes, though. Or whatever is in those glasses — you probably can’t bring wine into a McDonald's. Well, not unless it’s in a brown paper bag. But not like this. This obviously took as much planning as an entire picnic requires and the results are much worse. Once it stops being funny, you’ve just got to eat the food, but you know what? They’re obviously a great team. Just like those fries, their love will never rot. Well, hopefully but the fries are guaranteed.