Parents are an interesting breed, aren’t they? They’re a walking mass of contradictions. They’re the most important people in our lives, and often the most unwelcome. We spend much of our early lives trying to get away from them, and then wonder how in heckola we’ll ever manage without them.
Similarly, being a parent is the most difficult, easiest, thankless, and completely rewarding job in the world. Yep, all at the same time. It’s full of surprises, challenging beyond belief and darn expensive at times, but you’d just never trade it for anything.
Now, my wife-to-be and I are not parents yet, but it’s firmly at the top of our agenda. We both have backgrounds in working with children, and we’ve seen more than enough. The best of it, the worst of it, and everything in between.
For some, the hardest part is getting the "good cop, bad cop" balance just right. We can’t be too tough, but we can’t just take their crapola either. So, how tough should we be? About as tough as these moms and dads — that’s how tough. Settle in for 24 parents who laid down the law in the most hilarious way possible. You don’t want to miss this.
24 When Dad Can't Use A Washing Machine, But He Can Snark With The Best
We’re going to kick this party off the right way, with a post that I can most definitely get on board with. This is just fantastic.
All too often, when letters are exchanged between teachers and parents, it’s not a good sign for the child. Usually, this means that they’re failing classes, setting fire to things in science class, getting caught doing something pretty darn unwholesome in the changing rooms — that sort of thing. When I was at school, hearing that a letter was being sent back to my parents was one of the scariest things I could imagine.
The implication was that teacher and parent/guardian were uniting against their common foe, the wayward child (yep, that’s you). Sometimes, though, that just isn’t the case.
In this post, dad is not remotely amused by the teacher’s decision to confiscate his child’s jacket. You messed with the wrong child’s father there, buddy boy, and now you’re going to pay the snarky price.
The best part of this post? That’s a tough call, but I’d probably go with the part where dad admits he has zero clue how to use a washing machine. It’s all completely priceless, though, let’s be honest. Do you see what happens when you go on vacations, moms? Do you?
23 When You Start To Wonder If This Whole ‘Having Children’ Thing Was A Good Idea After All
Before I had kids, I didn't even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 3, 2014
Just a couple of entries ago, we were complimenting children on their amazing ability to completely flatten a home. I’ve never know efficiency like it. Remember that scene in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, where Dumbledore meets Horace Slughorn in the completely upturned room he’d been hiding out in? With a casual wave of their wands, the two men make the whole place spotless in an instant. Now that is some magic that we could all get on board with.
Children are able to perform exactly the same feat, just in reverse. Parents around the world have absolutely zero clue how they do it, but there’s surely some magic involved there too.
Honestly, though, in this case, I can totally understand. I’m a huge fan of granola bars, cereal bars, and all of those sorts of things. This is mostly because I’m quite lazy, and it’s something I can easily eat and just keep right on working.
If you have similar habits, you’ll know that you’ve got to handle these darn things carefully. They’re prone to falling apart and spreading crumbs everywhere. Have you ever tried opening a oat bar that got a little crumbly in transit? Carnage. Absolute carnage.
22 When You Do Not Mess With The Plugs In This House
There’s a running joke in my family concerning my sister and her cell phone. Whenever she comes back to visit mom and dad, she’ll always plug her cell phone straight into the outlet to charge. To hear my parents tell it, she’ll do this before her coat’s even off, and that’s the only reason she’s visiting: to use somebody else’s electricity.
All of this family snark aside, it’s an interesting point. These days, of course, everyone’s homes are full of all manner of technology. The usual necessities like TVs, refrigerators, ovens, and vacuum cleaners, more contemporary additions like tablets, Nintendo Switches and Fitbits… Our darn homes are humming with them. Literally, most of the time.
When a visitor comes by, then, inevitably their various iDevices are going to need a charge at some point too. What’s the protocol there? In my experience, sheepishly asking is the way to go.
It’s all about how well you know the person and how comfortable you are with hopping into a jack and piggybacking on their power.
There’s got to be a spare, that’s the issue. As we see in this hilarious post, some families have just the right amount of slots for their various gadgetry. They have a system going, and nobody will mess it up.
21 When Mom Is Not Kidding About The Kitchen Counters
As I say, I’m not a parent myself, but I’m all set to start a family in the near future. As such, I’ve started to prepare myself for some of the key aspects of parenting, honing the essential skills of dad-ing that I’m going to need. Making terrible, embarrassing dad jokes? That’s a given, but there’s also more to it than that. There’s exasperation, sleep deprivation, constant niggling doubts about whether you’re doing things right… All of that super fun stuff.
Not to mention, of course, another given: a constant mess; A mess that has your name written right on it.
As you may well know, children have this incredible ability to utterly level everything around them. In just four seconds using only a crayon. Some parents try the technique of creating a room specifically for this purpose (called a playroom), but you can only contain so much of the mess. At least 75% of your waking day, then, is spent tidying and cleaning.
With all of that said, it’s totally understandable that mom and dad might get a little touchy about their kitchen counters. Sometimes, they might even bypass ‘touchy’ entirely, and go plain coo-coo on you. One thing’s for sure, we’re not going to be making a mess in that kitchen if we can help it.
20 When You STOP Wondering, Because It’s Confirmed
To anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2 year old threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2013
As I’ve also said, both my partner and I have worked in childcare for a long time. Naturally, this doesn’t compare to actually owning a little human of your very own (you can’t hand it back at the end of the day), but it sure is a head start on those with no experience in such things.
It’s a real darn eye-opener, let me tell you. You get that distant, shell-shocked look in your eye — the look of a person who has seen some things, which I surely have.
As such, a good rule of thumb is: if you’ve had extensive experience with other people’s children, and you still want one of your own, you can be sure that you really do want one.
A lot of people, on finding that they’re expecting a child, like to hit up other parents to learn about their experiences. How many newly-pregnant women have asked fellow mothers about their pregnancies, only to be utterly traumatized by what they hear? Well, too many. That’s how many.
You still want to hear more about this great life odyssey you’re about to embark on as a parent? Again, ask other moms and dads. They have some of the most encouraging stories to share.
19 When A Harmless Story About Ruth And Her Job Becomes The Stuff Of Nightmares
You know, this is one of those rants that just… she completely nails it. We’ve already touched on those typical parenting problems that you know you’re going to face, but those are just the tip of the iceberg. An iceberg that simply will not eat celery, however hard you try to sell it to them.
The most amazing thing of all is how these regular problems can spawn whole new problems of their own. Just to keep you on your toes in a super fun way. You know, like a new strand of a virus. This is also how the common cold manages to keep getting us every year, incidentally.
Take a look at this situation, then. This is how you deftly blend two of a mom’s greatest fears: those horrible lingering feelings of inadequacy, and the terror that is helping a child with their homework.
This was all meant to be so simple. Just a little reading comprehension about a lady named Ruth. Ruth was happy, productive, active, and never called in sick for work. One of those perfect "feel good" stories, until you realise that the fictional Ruth has a better life than you ever will.
To give this lady’s daughter her due, though, she wasn’t having any of this. She saw that Ruth’s story was far too unrealistic to be worth paying any attention to, probably.
18 When Ryan Reynolds Officially Became Super Dad
My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
Now, I don’t know what you’d expect from Ryan Reynolds, but… wait, scratch that. We all know exactly what to expect from Ryan Reynolds; Seething snark, hilarious movies like The Hitman’s Bodyguard, that sort of thing.
Basically, the man wore the Deadpool suit for a little too long, and now the spirit of Wade Wilson has taken over his body for good.
Typically, though, fatherhood will change a man. It’s the kind of paradigm shift that can make a person take stock, change their ways, and commit to what really matters. It was an opportunity for Reynolds to stop joking around like the amazing snarkster of snark that he is. Needless to say, he wasn’t having any of that.
Ryan Reynolds knows what’s up. He has seen the truth of life. There’s no need to idealise things, to play up for your friends and followers like so many special media users do. The Canadian actor is always one to keep it real, and you’d better believe that this philosophy extends to his Twitter account.
For some parents, every little picture their child makes is a work of art. You’ve got to protect their feelings... Or do you?
“It’s you, daddy.”
“Is it? Is it? It looks more like an angry cruise ship with a face.”
17 When Your Toddler Throws Up In The Car And You CANNOT Handle It
A lot of would-be parents have an overly romanticised image of what parenting entails. You know, it’s all cooing over your adorable baby, showing him/her off to relatives, and sharing every insignificant bowel movement with your adoring friends on social media. Now, granted, this is part of it, but you’ve got to consider the darker side of parenthood as well. The side that you’re not posting statuses with lots of heart emojis and #MyWorld hashtags about.
This side right here, for instance. The side that involves your child throwing up in the back of your car. I can totally empathise with this one; chronically 'travel sick' child as I was.
It’s a totally routine experience, for some, but others just cannot and will not cope. When this dad’s little boy was sick in the back of the car, dad proceeded to nope his way through a whole series of outraged texts to his wife. This whole thing just gets funnier and funnier, as it escalates at 50 times the speed of light. At the very least.
Now, you might make fun, but being a ‘sympathetic vomiter’ is darn tough. If you were in his shoes, you could well feel the same way. Don’t put his shoes on, though, because there’s still vomit on them.
16 When The Bank Of Dad Is Firmly And Forever Closed
Ah, the classic ‘bank of mom and dad’ jokes. Many of us have had times in our lives where we’ve had to ask for a little help in the old cash flow department. It’s natural, really. Our parents (those walking beacons of our childhood safety, security and comfort) don’t tend to begrudge us that sort of thing. Well, not too much, anyway.
Sadly, there are some opportunistic children who know this far too well, and will try to take advantage.
There’s a limit to how many times you can be bailed out, friend. Push it too hard, and you’ll find the bank of mom and dad tougher to get into than that one from Harry Potter; the wizard bank with the freaking dragon guarding the vaults.
As is so often the case in life, you can’t push your luck. Your parents aren’t lord and lady of a fancy manor in Merry Old England. Unless they are, in which case I apologise, your regalness. You can’t push a kindly offer too far. Be grateful for what you have, lest it’s taken away.
Take this post. I’m getting a sneaking suspicion that this person is looking for a quick cash injection from dad. I’m also getting the impression that dad is not having one iota of that.
15 When You Suddenly Find The Motivation To Clean Your Room
Of all the constant battles that moms and dads face (you know, getting to do their homework, eat their vegetables, ease up with that darn iPad at night, etcetera), none are quite as enduring and timeless as the good old keep your room tidy one.
Now, of course, times have changed. Back when I was a little urchin, being sent to your bedroom was actually a punishment. Being grounded was a social disaster, because you wanted to be out with your friends. Now, it’s a challenge to get your children out of their bedrooms in the first place. They are seeing their buddies, but it’s on the PS4 over some online game or other. Oh, technology. You’re a crazy, crazy thing.
Anyway, yes. Despite all of that, the age old battle between parents and mess continues. In some families, the bedroom is a tough subject to broach, because it’s kind of their sanctuary and you want to respect that. At the same time, though, we see those empty Cheeto bags and that dirty underwear strewn across the floor, and we are not amused.
In this post, we see one of the most brilliantly passive aggressive approaches to that issue ever. With a heaping helping of bribery thrown into the mix.
14 When You Don't Answer Mom's Texts
Oh, ouch. That’s pretty darn tough, right there.
As a lot of parents will tell you, teenagers can be one heck of a handful. Sure, they aren’t crawling around the floor, pooping themselves at inopportune times, and screeching through the night anymore (well, not usually), but the 13-19 age group comes with a whole new range of issues. They’re growing up (almost done growing up, in fact), developing lives of their own, but still with that rebellious streak that tends to stop them checking in with mom and dad about where they are and who they’re with.
We’ve all been there. The worried parents, the guilt, the forgotten text… fun times all around.
Oftentimes, a quick chewing out and a promise to let your parents know you’re safe next time does the trick. On the other hand, some parents are just FAR too savage for that.
One theory that is often advanced about teenagers is that they have selective hearing. If you were to shout that grandma needs her lady-diaper changed, nope, they don’t hear you. If you shouted that grandma’s got some money for them, on the other hand, you’d better believe that they’ll be right down. This curious phenomenon even happens in text form, as per this example.
13 When Dad Hits You With The Greatest Rapunzel-Themed Burn In History
Dang it, dad. What are you trying to pull here? Did you think that was cool? Because it wasn’t.
Speaking of teenagers, they’re often regarded in quite a negative light. We hear about lazy, antisocial young people, who are completely apathetic about the future and the world in general. Granted, there are teenagers who are just like this, but that’s true of any age group.
There are all kinds of contributing factors that we’ve got to consider as well. For one thing, their bodies are floating in a terrifying cocktail of hormones and confusion. The future is uncertain, and they often haven’t decided what they want to do and where they want to go just yet. Let’s not forget, too, that the world’s in quite a darn state just now, and that does nothing to alleviate any of this.
Sure, teenagers can be surly, but they’ve got darn good reasons to be too.
Another reason? Your teenage years are the time when your parents hit peak embarrassment potential. Having been teenagers once themselves, you’d think they would know all of this, and would strive to help you through it. Right? Wouldn’t you? Well, maybe so, but heck no to that. Instead, this snarky dad drops a beastly burn on his child. I’m quite impressed, as the Rapunzel burn isn’t the most popular of burn genres.
12 When You're Just Not About That Dishwasher-Emptying Life
Okay, I’m going to stop pointing the finger at teenagers now. They get enough collective smack spoken about them, after all. They’re like fish in a proverbial barrel.
When it comes to neglecting chores, after all, there’s really no need to single out one particular age group of child. They’re all dang guilty of that. When you’re a child in this big old scary world of ours, you try to find meaning wherever you can. Heck, however old you may be, everyone’s trying to do that. Some find it in a relationship or marriage. Some find it in a career. Others find it in Taylor Swift songs, apparently.
To unite the two concepts of neglecting chores and struggling for meaning, along comes this dad.
You can just imagine how thrilled he was, as he thought of this beautiful burn and prepared to administer it. The excitement, the anticipation, as he hit 'post'. It’s one of the greatest dad jokes the Internet has seen, and it’s so great because you just know it’s well-deserved. You know he’s been on at her to empty the catbox for days now.
Stellar work there, dad. In public comment form, too, which makes it all the sweeter. Next time, you’ll probably just want to empty the dishwasher.
11 When Dad Is Not Impressed By Your 'Thug Life' Lies
On social media, as we’ve all seen, people have a tendency to front a little bit. I guess this is an inevitable consequence of making every little aspect of our lives public knowledge. We all know some of those oversharers who can’t go four seconds without updating their status, tweeting, posting, and everything else. That friend who’s just had a baby and is hitting us with an endless stream of Jr’s exploits? Enough already. There should be some kind of cool down on that stuff, like in a mobile game.
Naturally, it’s all in the name of attention. If you have a friend who travels a lot on business, you can expect a constant stream of ‘waiting at the airport for my flight to Ibiza/Dubai/Lanzarote/wherever’ updates. Nope, I’m not jealous of you, even if I totally am.
Where does this leave those of us whose lives aren’t nearly so glamorous? In a tough darn situation, that’s where. You can understand, then, how some may feel the need to embellish the facts a little. Take this girl, who isn’t nearly the 100% certified raw thug that she’s trying to present to the world.
Luckily, dad was on hand to share a couple of home truths. Well, I say luckily.
10 Take The Darn Curfew More Seriously In The Future
Now, there’s a whole array of different families around the world, living a whole array of vastly different lives. We’re running the gamut of beliefs, attitudes, and ideas here, and some would be just plain shocked by others’ approaches.
That’s natural, of course. What matters is–as frightening as this may be for the Internet to hear—that you don’t try to apply your way of thinking to somebody else. It’s a totally personal thing, and it’s really none of your business how somebody else lives their lives.
Now, as for me, I never had a curfew. This was mostly because I was the super shy, nerdy sort who only ventured out of my home on occasion, but that’s neither here nor there.
What I’m getting at is that, as an unassuming, well-behaved sort, there wasn’t really any need for that sort of thing.
In this snarky case, on the other hand, it sure does look as though there’s something else going on behind the scenes. Granted, we’re probably kidding here, but either way, I really don’t think we’re looking at a first offender here. This is probably somebody who has gone ahead and violated that curfew several times in the past.
9 When Dad Falls Right Off The Healthy Eating Wagon
Um… dad? Are you okay over there?
Now, I’m not here to judge anybody. Heck, no. All I’m saying is, this really isn’t the kind of motivational message that you want to kick off your lunch with. Come on, guy, don’t go all "to be or not to be" on us.
As I’ve already said over the course of this rundown, the world is a vast, confusing place. We adults struggle enough in our daily lives, and we’re the ones who are supposed to actually have it together. What chance do children have, without encouragement, support and guidance?
What we’re looking at here, friends, is a dad joke that has gone south. Usually, dad jokes are harmless enough, but you’ve got to treat them with care. This is the sort of thing that can turn a child’s whole belief system into turmoil forever. Do I need to eat carrots, cauliflower and such, or do I not? Do I replace vegetables with chocolate and Pop-Tarts? What’s the new stance on fruit? Where does that fit into this new agenda? How can I possibly know?
Sometimes, dad, it’s fine to just… put the lunch in the box. Speaking of which, judging by the lightning McQueen box, they’re probably too young to be getting hit by this level of real just yet.
8 When Your Child's Lateness Is Totally Excused
Ah, the sick note. It’s an art form, isn’t it? Back in the day, comic and cartoon stars like Dennis the Menace of The Beano would forge mom or dad’s signature. It was the absolute darn pinnacle of '90s rebellion.
Sometimes, if they’d decided to just go ahead and watch the world burn entirely, they’d even forge a whole note. You know, with spelling errors and such for the joke’s sake.
Goody goody I was, I could never even dream of doing such a thing myself.
When notes from parents were genuine, however, they’d tend to be super curt; immediate, to the point, all of that sort of thing. There’d be no intentionally flowery language, as a rule, unlike in the forged notes. When children attempt to pass themselves off as adults, this is a mistake they tend to make. That’s not always the case, though. In this slice of raw, perfect, 100% snarky brilliance, a dad has sent a note on to school apologising for his daughter’s lateness. Right from the first line, you know you’re in for a darn good laugh this fine spring day, and it doesn’t disappoint.
After all, Sophia was late because she was up until all hours crying with her mom over Zayn and the guy from Grey’s Anatomy doesn’t sound nearly as legit, does it?
7 When Mom Is Taking Absolutely None Of Your Crapola
Now, I don’t know if you’ve all noticed, but it’s freaking 2018 up in here. I’m not sure whether your year’s panned out the way you’d hoped it would so far, but that’s immaterial. Whether you’re keeping to your New Year's resolutions or not, there’s one thing we can all agree on: we really should be a little more enlightened in this futuristic age.
All of these cheap clichés? We really need to have junked all of that nonsense with the waste a long time ago. As a proud Brit, for instance, I’m here to tell you that we don’t all have terrible teeth, and I don’t even like tea. You’ve got us on the constant rain, though, there’s no doubt about that.
By and large, though, these tired old jokes are completely irrelevant. Take the classic old ‘make me a sandwich’ business. Your chances of getting a sandwich on saying that are super, super slim, as are your chances of getting anything else for that matter. It’s just a relic from a simpler time. After all, back in the '90s, MC Hammer’s parachute pants were considered high darn fashion. What did we know?
Kudos to this mom, then, for laying the smack all the way down.
6 When The Cereal Police Step In
You know what? I’m definitely on board with this one. I sense a kindred spirit, that’s for darn certain. When it comes to cereal, I’m quite a connoisseur. As a fan of all things sugar- and chocolate-laden, I can’t get enough. Cereal in convenient bar form, cereal in its natural habbit (in a bowl with milk)… whichever, really. I’m there. All you have to do is chant the world cereal three times, and I’m summoned from wherever I may be.
As far as that goes, then, yes. I can understand how you might feel the need to jealously guard your cereal from all potential thieves. What if you’ve carefully netted out your portions all week, have just enough for that last bowl, and return to find it gone? Some people even have the audacity to leave the now-empty box right there on the shelf, so you pick it up and feel your heart break right there in your chest.
Having said that, there’s a time and a place for that sort of thing. It’s all well and good to be a cereal monster, but as long as it’s your own.
You can’t just visit someone’s home, rifle through their cupboards and polish off their Crunchy Nut, can you? Unless it’s your parents, naturally.
As long as it’s not these parents.
5 When Your Dishwasher Is Not Named Brian
Now, juggling parenthood with a career and other responsibilities is one of the great difficulties of life. This is some Grade A adulting, and it’s not for the faint of heart. This is the sort of thing that sees some of us dissolve into anxiety-ridden puddles of fear on the rug, just at the very thought of it.
As any parent will tell you, they’re not just moms and dads. They’re chauffeurs, cleaners, cooks, personal shoppers, relationship advisors, sometimes soccer coaches, all these sorts of things as well. What does a stay-at-home parent do all day, you dare to ask? Gosh darn everything, that’s what.
With a lot of parents, the greatest gripe is being taken for granted. Some of us emerge, fully-formed, in the adult world, with a whole new appreciation for fruits, vegetables, and milk now that we’re buying them ourselves. Where we’d previously been wasteful, we’re now clinging to every day on the 'use by date' of that milk, because that’s darn white liquid money right there. Leaving lights on, leaving taps running… suddenly you realise why all of that was such a big deal.
Never take mom and dad for granted. Brain here is not a dishwasher, and you’d better take heed.
4 When Dad Just Ruthlessly Steamrolls Your Whole Life
Dad. DAD. We need to talk about this. We really really do. I know your child was getting a little uppity on social media, and you had to show them what’s what, but really now.
There’s a line of uncool-ness that you just don’t cross, and there you are doing the "Gangnam Style" dance right over the line.
As we saw previously with the thug who doesn’t dare take a shower when alone in the house, some people just have a chronic case of Facebook fronting. You know how it is, when everybody’s bragging about their lives on social media and you have to try and keep up. It’s like one big online high school clique.
Often, of course, your social media friends are people you don’t really know that well. If you’ve ever met them at all. As such, you feel a bit better embellishing everything, because nobody knows any better.
This is yet another reason why it can be a darn bad idea to have your parents as friends. Not only will mom incessantly like everything you post ever, but she’s reading everything you post, As is dad, and he is not your number one fan. He knows the score, and he’s here to drop all of the home truths.
3 When Mom Hits You Where It Hurts: Right In The Wifi
As I say, it’s quite fascinating how society has changed. I’m turning 30 this year, which leaves me in an odd position culturally. I'm young enough to have seen the rise of technology (and become as dependent on it as everybody else), but also old enough to remember a simpler time. A time when children would play on the street, actually go out to see each other, and play classic schoolyard games.
Coloring books? Walkmans? Cell phones the size of he average studio apartment? These are all relics of the past now. I’ve already pointed out the irony of the go to your room punishment, which used to be such a tragedy. Today, a lot of children spend much of their time on their various iDevices anyway. Come out of your room is a much more grievous punishment.
With all of that in mind, canny parents have had to devise more contemporary methods of dealing with wayward children. On that score, nothing says modern day punishment quite like changing the Wifi password. If your children were neglecting their chores back in the ancient days (pre broadband), you didn’t have a handy dandy switch you could flip to make them wash the car, did you?
2 When Your Dad Is The Very Pinnacle Of Twitter Sass
As snarky children everywhere often say, our parents can’t quite handle the modern tech-tastic life. Again, it’s a generalisation, but there’s really no getting around the fact that oldies and technology just don’t quite mix.
Have you ever had to play involuntary tech support for your parents and grandparents? Of course you have. We all have. Whether you’re explaining something super complicated and technical like double clicking (whatever that is), what exactly Bluetooth is, or how to tag someone in a post — there’s no doubt that you’ve had to help someone less technologically able at some point or another. It comes with the territory.
Still, as we’ve already established, you can’t just assume that all parents are like this.
Some of them are consummate professionals, tweeting, posting, and commenting with the best of us. Check out this dad, for instance, who effortlessly dropped the greatest subtweet in the history of subtweets.
A lot of fathers, on having their birthdays forgotten by their son, would be more direct about the whole thing. They’d gripe at them the old-fashioned way, via telephone, posting a letter or sending a carrier pigeon on over.
Not this dad, though. A modern father through and through, he’s down with the kinds and he’s down to humiliate the kids in the way people do these days.
1 When You're Six And You Ask Dad For Money For A Toy, But Then Remember That He's Completely Extra
Now, speaking of the differences between modern parents and old-fashioned parents, feast your eyes on this little doozy.
Back in my day, when I wanted a toy, my parents wouldn’t beat around the bush. There was no time for any of these sorts of shenanigans. I wasn’t spoiled by any means, but if it was a reasonable request and I’d been good, my parents would buy me the robot, Yo-yo (man, did I have a thing for Yo-yos at one time), or whatever else it happened to be, and I was grateful for it.
To reiterate, the key is not being presumptuous. Not taking advantage of their kindly nature. If I had done something like that, you can be sure that something as extra as this would have been the result. If my mom or dad were ever competent enough with computers to mock up something like this, which they still aren’t.
Now, granted, a lot of the snark on display here is probably completely wasted on a 6-year-old. We have to kind of see past that, though, because this is just solid gold. You can just see how much effort this dad has put into being a D-bag, and you’ve got to admire that.
The best part of this? I’m a little torn. It’s either the ‘because apparently I look like I’m made of money’ in the corner there, or the fact that dad has made himself the CEO of his own company. A company called DAD.