First dates are all about first impressions. We all try to put our best foot forward when meeting that special someone for the first time and hope for the best. So maybe that’s why we all get turned off when the other person doesn’t exactly see things the same way.
Pet peeves are one thing. It’s such a turn off when someone acts a certain way and does all the things that pick at us and bother us to no end, but we try to turn the other way and move past those little annoyances because let’s face it, we haven’t been on a date in a pretty long time and we’re sick and tired of hearing our mothers ask, “Are you seeing anyone, sweetheart?”
But there are certain things that men do on dates that most women just can’t get over… Certain cardinal sins, if we may, that are absolutely unforgivable and cause many women to jump up, turn heel, and run for the nearest exit, perhaps even screaming at the top of their lungs in frustration.
We dug around and found an incredible number of icky and annoying things that many men may and often do on a first date. And we won't lie: they may surprise even the most experienced out there playing that good old dating game.
25 Asking Too Many Questions
Last time you checked, you weren't playing 20 Questions, you weren't invited on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to promote your latest album, and you weren't ready to be grilled essentially, so what's up with all the questions, right?
Turns out, men tend to do this quite a bit and it couldn't irk women more. Madame Noir actually refers to this tendency men have as the "interviewing" process. They say that this occurs when men turn too serious during the date, essentially turning the date into a Barbara Walters special in reverse. All that's missing is a shiny bright light pointed at a gal's face.
24 Talking Way Too Much About His Gym Time
Yes, we're sure he can bench three hundred pounds. We're also sure he can do one-thousand crunches and has the abdominal wall of a mythological character the likes of Thor and Zeus, but do women really need to hear about it? Probably not, right?
Going into too much detail about how he got those twenty-inch arms would bore just about any woman unless she's the one that's desperate for a chum, which, by the way, is highly unlikely. This is a sure attempt at convincing a woman that he's self-centered and only thinks about himself and his own accomplishments.
23 If He's Rude To The Waiter
Chances are if a dude is going to be rude to a waiter or waitress, then that means that he will be rude to his significant other down the line and yes, it really works both ways. Rudeness is highly connected to anger and it can come when least expected, so women should definitely watch out for this sticky character trait because it can be quite obnoxious.
Should rudeness come up on a date, women tend to be as repelled from the men that let this quality slip as an ant might be repelled from bug spray. According to Lovepanky, if a man shouts at waiters or is mean to those less powerful than him, it's a clear sign that he'll treat his significant other the same way once the initial romance has dwindled.
22 He Talks Way Too Much
You're trying to let him know that he's talking way too much. Maybe a widening of the eyes, maybe you throw him a glance that says: "alright already!" Maybe a slight squinting of the eyes, but something tells you he doesn't get it at all. He just goes on and on, pedaling further and further going on about his friends, some movie he saw last week, and maybe he's even detailing his five-year plan, all the way down to the smallest detail.
Sadly there's nothing you can do to stop him... he's way ahead and showing no signs of slowing down. We're not sure what makes men think that women are interested in all he's got to say, and it's astounding that the trait women seek the most in the men they date is that of being a good listener.
21 Lets Her Pay
Who said chivalry was long gone? These days women are far more independent than earlier eras. Even the early portion of this millennium pales in comparison to the power, success, and independence that women show every day. But that doesn't mean they don't like to get pampered and treated to a night out every now and again.
Besides, a really nice dinner can oftentimes show a lady that he cares, and sometimes, yes, the more expensive the better. So go ahead... get the lobster. We would. And if he sees you reaching for your purse and lets you pay, we suggest you leave and don't turn back. Lovepanky actually considers this one of the biggest no-nos when it comes to a first date.
20 Forgets To Show Up
If anyone remembers the character of Stephanie Tanner from the ABC sitcom Full House, then they'd easily remember one of her more popular catchphrases. It would actually be appropriate right here in this section of our article if you'll give us a second.
If a man doesn't show up for a date that he asked a woman on in the first place, that should be considered one of the gravest offenses in first date etiquette, punishable by 1: refusal of a second date, and 2: the deletion of his number from the contact list. So in unison... a man leaves you sitting and waiting at a classy restaurant to be the pittance of all the staff and patrons surrounding your table... what do we say? "How rude!"
19 A Bit Too Much With The Smothering
If there's anything that Rory Gilmore taught the men that watched her on Gilmore Girls, it's that "smothering" might be a tad much, even for someone as sweet as Rory Gilmore, she of the doe eyes and sweet demeanor. Her very first boyfriend, Dean, smothered her with love and attention and in the end, all it ended up doing was alienating her that much more.
And that opened the door for bad boy Jess, played by Milo Ventimiglia of This Is Us fame, to waltz right on in, bad attitude and all. And to paraphrase Lovepanky: putting a girl on a pedestal is a definite way to turn her off and have her interest in you dwindle away.
18 Being Too Passive
By the same token, being too passive may also have her interest waning quite considerably as the moments of the first date pass by slowly, as painful as they are for both parties. Being too passive and essentially being a doormat for the woman in question or anyone else that comes up in the conversation is a surefire way to show a woman that a man's not interested in the end result of... well, anything.
Have a spine, bud! Right? Indeed. Showing a woman that he has an opinion, or taking a stance on a particular issue, shows that he's strong and will contribute to the relationship as opposed to just going along with it all noncommittally.
17 Too Desperate
Men really shouldn't come on too strong, as it might be misconstrued as being way too desperate. Now we know the dating game is a rough one to play, especially when it goes on for a few years (and fruitlessly we might add). But being desperate leads only to needless effort as a woman gets easily turned off by that.
Such ostentatious offerings like too many flowers or way too expensive jewelry on the first date are perfect examples of trying way too hard. A man might as well be wearing a sign or sandwich board that says: "I'm Lonely and Desperate... Will work for a date."
16 Asking To See Her Cell Phone
This is and can be considered reason to raise a red flag in women. If the question of seeing a woman's cell phone comes up on a first date, rest assured that all the woman can hear in her head is "Red Alert! Red Alert! Red Alert..." reverberating over and over again and she isn't listening to a word he says.
It's pretty much over by that point, as a woman's privacy is extremely important to a woman and will always be. Besides, it just sends the message that he has had some serious problems with trust in the past and maybe has a serious amount of baggage in that department. So this definitely is a reason for escape.
15 Has The Audacity To Speak Badly Of Women In General
These days, we'd hope that there aren't too many men out there actually willing to be so rude as to make a disrespectful joke or utter a disrespectful comment regarding women as a whole, but maybe we shouldn't hold our collective breaths. And if there are men willing to speak out against the fairer of the genders, then maybe he deserves the embarrassment of being left to fend for himself amidst a crowded restaurant, calling the attention of one and all to his cowardly act.
In fact, a woman that has the courage to turn and walk away from such a man would be doing all future dates that man may have a massive favor. And who knows... maybe he'll learn something from the experience.
14 When He Flirts With The Waitress
And by that same token, only on the flip side, women also don't like it when their dates flirt with the waitress. That's not only rude in their eyes, but highly disrespectful. It shows a lack of interest in the date, first of all, and a quality known as the wandering eye, which is a far too familiar trait among men, especially those that aren't all that serious about relationships.
Besides, if he's willing to flirt with the waitress right there in front of a woman he was supposedly interested in starting a potential relationship with, then he really wasn't all that "nice" to begin with and isn't worth the time. Leave before the check comes, we say.
13 When He Talks Way Too Much About His Job
"So I said to Duke... I said 'Duke, the merger took me four weeks to plan. I was up all night three nights last week and slept badly all the remaining four nights. Can you please give me a little help on the next one?' He looks at me and says: 'No, man. You're the best executive we've got around here'."
By the time he finishes this soliloquy, you've finished your entree and are just about ready to head for the door and get ready to ignore each and every single one of his texts and ignore all of his calls, because if you have to listen to one more story about this merger and his buddy Duke, you might go nuts, or worse.
12 When He Takes The Liberty Of Ordering For Her
You've heard about the ravioli at Florentine's for years and you never had the chance to go. But last week, a guy asked you on a date and said he'd be taking you there. You may have even done a dance of joy when no one was looking at the office while you were making copies for your boss. As you stood there waiting for page 599 to be copied, you could actually taste the tomato sauce, heavy on the basil and garlic.
But when you get there, all excited to taste the meal you've envisioned yourself having when the blessed day arrives, you are deeply chagrined to hear him utter the words: "I've taken the liberty of requesting my favorite dish... the steak tartar." You're so upset you wanna scream!
11 Makes An Off-Color Joke
There's nothing worse than a man with a bad sense of humor, but probably one that makes awkward and even off-color jokes is that much worse. This individual holds nothing dear and is willing to talk down on any category of human and even may be as low as to make a choice joke about women in general.
Unfortunately, some men are also quite smug as they make the jokes in question and have no clue why a woman wouldn't laugh at what he's stated. Clueless is a word that comes to mind, but maybe insensitive is a better one. Either way, this behavior is a no-go in the dating world. And, like, the world in general.
10 Criticizes What She's Eating
It's very possible that the first date in question happens to fall on the worst day possible that a woman can be experiencing. Maybe the rent was due and she couldn't pay it. Maybe she was admonished by her boss in front of her colleagues, or maybe it's just been a bad day and she just couldn't turn it around.
Maybe the date with this guy she met at her friend's birthday party is the only thing she has to look forward to, and the epic meal she plans on having is just an added bonus. It would be sad if when she reaches for her first bite of those tasty fries, he decides to tell her how unhealthy they are, now wouldn't it? We thought so.
9 Doesn't Give Her Enough Space
Hovering can definitely be as bad as smothering and in many ways, they are quite similar, as they both are irritating and annoying to the point of utter frustration. DiaLteG says that hovering and not giving a woman enough space on the first date and at the beginning of the relationship may lead to some serious problems down the line. That's if she is willing to look past this on the first date, of course.
At the end of the day, women are extremely perceptive on the first date and men would do well to remember that and hold on to the info, as it may serve them well. Just remember the late, great Patrick Swayze: "This is my dancing space... this is your dancing space."
8 When He's Always On His Cell
If a woman can't hold the interest of the man that asked her out on a date, then there's a major problem somewhere, and it sure isn't her problem. If a man has a deeper interest in his gadget instead of the woman that he should be trying to convince will be the center of his universe, then he deserves to be left sitting awkwardly in that trendy restaurant uptown.
Women love to be paid attention to. They don't have to be the center of attention... far from it, but if he's dipping into his phone every five minutes or worse, seconds, then he'll be doing it for the whole length of the relationship.
7 Is Too Much Of A Clown
Even if he has a good sense of humor and doesn't make any bad jokes, too much of a sense of humor can, at times, be a tad much. Yes, a woman doesn't like a guy to be too serious, but on the other hand, if he's always cracking jokes and cannot be a bit serious, at least for a bit of the date, then maybe he'll be having trouble taking anything seriously down the line.
Makes us think of a pretty popular celebrity couple of recent years: Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey. They split up and this tidbit has us wondering if good old Jim just couldn't be serious, even for a second. Who knows?
6 Talks Way Too Much About His Mom
Hey... Moms are great and with the recent celebration of Mother's Day, we don't want to mislead anyone and say that women are insensitive to the relationships of their boyfriends to their moms. But perhaps the first date really isn't the time and place to go on and on about your good old Ma and how she raised you all by her lonesome.
We know you're proud and so are we—believe us we are—but save it for later in the relationship, if there is a later. The first date is more about getting to know that intelligent, funny, classy and ravishing beauty sitting across from you.
5 Gets Easily Annoyed By Loud Children
Hey... kids aren't for everyone. These days there are just as many women who don't plan on having kids of their own as there are who do, and perhaps just as many as there are men out there with the very same sentiments.
But for the women out there who do plan on having little ones one day, seeing a date or a boyfriend get way too annoyed or nervous because a kid is being too loud over at the next table, or Heaven forbid, at the park, this would be reason enough for a woman to walk away or even run in the opposite direction. Showing a woman that wants kids that you don't have the patience to deal is the perfect way for a man to make himself persona non grata in her eyes.
4 Knocks Back A Tad Too Much
The first date shouldn't be about the food. It shouldn't be about the frills. It should be about one thing and one thing only, and that's the person sitting on the opposite side of the small table in the corner. It goes both ways of course.
So by that same token, if a gentleman seems a tad too interested in the beverages offered at the particular restaurant he brought her to, then it means one of two things: he's got a serious problem in that department, or he's uninterested in where the date may lead. The only good thing that can come of this is a way for a woman to witness what kind of person he becomes after he's had a few.
3 Arriving Late
This may be a good topic of discussion, but we'd wager that showing up late is a tad worse than not showing up at all. If a man shows up late, it's a good indication of what he thinks of her and what his behavior will be in the future should the relationship move forward. If she lets it go and goes forward regardless, this may lead to a habit and he may do it time and time again, leaving her to wait at restaurant after restaurant, as per Lovepanky.
Gets pretty lonely eating alone, doesn't it? Besides, this can lead to a bad reputation for the woman involved, as she's consistently made to look like the woman who is waiting on her man. Not good.
2 If He's Way Too Emotional
Look... we know you love movies, but maybe showing a woman your favorite movie on the first date isn't the greatest of ideas, especially if it tends to make you get misty-eyed at some parts. Whether it be Bravehart, Terminator 2 (when the T100 gets lowered into the lava... gets us every time), or heck, even Good Will Hunting, save it for later in the relationship... please!
Besides, women aren't all that impressed with a man who wrinkles up his face like Dawson over here, especially on the first date. Sensitivity is good, but not quite like that. So, stay away from Mel and all your favorites on the first date, unless you want her and her friends to say: "Hey... here comes Weepy," every single time they see you after that.
1 Showcases Bad Fashion Sense
We know that Hulk Hogan was probably your hero growing up. We get that, and yeah, he's great. Say your prayers, take your vitamins and all that jolly goodness, but that doesn't mean you need to go out wearing a feather boa and cropping your stash into a fu-Manchu worthy of the big man himself, now does it? No way!
On the first date, a man should be worried about one thing and one thing only, and that's making a good impression. According to Lovepanky, the furthest thing from a man's mind should be trusting his own fashion judgment on the big night. A man should ask his female friends for fashion advice and do his very best to impress.
Sources: Lovepanky, Madame Noir, DiaLteG