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25 Totally Unnecessary Words Of Wisdom (From Those Who Spent Too Much Time On The Toilet)

There are certain things that belong inside of a bathroom. When you walk into the room, we expect to find a toilet, toilet paper, a sink, soap, and something to dry our hands with. And if we’re in a public place, we assume that all of these things are going to be there, but we're also probably going to find a stall or two. We don’t, however, always expect to see messages on the walls. Even though there isn’t supposed to be writing on the wall, they're from the people who have passed through the restroom... It’s becoming more and more common to see that.

Sometimes when people go into a public washroom, they’ll be in there for a long time, and when this happens, they want to do something to entertain themselves. And other times, they may just want to be a part of the “rebels” who enjoy putting their thoughts and drawings onto different parts of the room. Whatever the reason behind it, it’s still surprisingly funny to walk into a water closet and find a message written there. With funny notes like these, you may actually be able to have a pleasant experience when going into a public toilet!

25 GOOD QUESTION

Whenever I go into a bathroom and find things written on the walls or on the doors, my first thought is, "Did the person who wrote this message go in there with the intention of writing on the wall? Did they bring a pen or marker in there on purpose so that they could write or draw whatever they wanted to put up there? Or did they walk inside and just happened to realize that they had a pen in their bag or pocket?" And then, since they had a writing utensil in there, they decided that they couldn’t leave without adding something to the restroom, I'm guessing?

This question doesn’t necessarily answer my questions, but it does show us that there are actually a good number of individuals out there who have markers in their possession when they are using the toilet. I just wonder how long this query had been up before someone took a picture of the tally. Was it just a day? A week? A month? I really would like to know because that helps to figure out how impressive this total actually is.

And there’s definitely more than just this number because this is just the result from one stall. If this message was in all of the stalls then who knows how high the tally would’ve gotten!

24 EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

The older that I get, the more I relate to this bathroom message. If someone 10 years ago  would’ve told me that this is how I would be living in 10 years’ time, I would’ve laughed in their face. There’s no way I would’ve believed that my life would be as mediocre and unfulfilling as it is now. I still want to leave a mark on the world. I want to make a contribution to this place that people will be talking about for generations to come. For some, they do that by bringing children into the world. When you have children you know that your legacy will live on for at least a couple of generations. However, since I’m not having kids, I need to find some way else to leave my mark. When I die, I don’t want my accomplishments to die with me. And that really is depressing AF.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, I’m still young and there’s still time for me to do something great with my life. But there’s still a big part of me that wonders if that will actually ever happen or if writing a message in a bathroom stall will be the extent of my contributions. Consider this my quarter life crisis!

23 TRUE ART

Art is very subjective. One person may look at a painting and think that it’s art, but another person may see it and believe that there’s nothing artistic about it. This is particularly the case with abstract art.

The first time I saw some art in person was when I was 18 years old. I went to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art with the summer bridge program I was a part of at my college, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that 90% of the things in that museum weren’t art (from my point of view).

To me, a lot of the things just looked like scribbles.

I knew that I could give a three year old bottles of paint and they would end up producing something very similar, if not identical, to the paintings I was looking at. The only difference is that the toddler wouldn’t have gotten a nice sized check for their piece of work. But I also realized, that just because I didn’t think it was art, didn’t mean that other people thought the same thing. Clearly there are a significant amount of people out there who disagree with me. If there wasn’t then that place would’ve gone out of business a long time of go.

22 BEING ALONE

As someone who’s fairly self-conscious, both of these things would be pretty hard to do. I don’t dance unless I’m under the influence because I’d be too embarrassed to do it without some alcohol in my system. There was once a time in my life when I could dance when I was sober, but I’ve become so accustomed to only dancing when I’m drunk — that I can’t do it anymore when I haven’t had at least a few shots.

The second part is also pretty difficult, and I don’t think that you have to be afraid of performing in public to not want to do the second sentence. No one wants to be the one that’s responsible for stinking up the bathroom, so you do whatever is necessary for you to not come off as the person who has done this. If that means that you flush the toilet every time you push then you do it. And if it means you take the quickest dump in the history of dumps then you do that, too. Being identified as the person who’s responsible for making everyone gag when they walk into the room is not something that you want to have hanging over your shoulders!

21 SECRET TOILET

Having a secret toilet would make it much easier to “poop like no one is in here.” When I was working on my BA, I found a restroom in one of the buildings that was pretty hidden. There were tons of restrooms in this structure, but if you had to use one in between classes when everyone was in transition then you could guarantee that you would have to wait. That’s why this bathroom was so special.

For the life of me I can’t remember how I stumbled upon it, but when I did I was stoked.

The building had four floors, and on three of the floors, there were bathrooms located right next to the escalator. As soon as you got off, you could just walk a little bit and run right into it. This was not the case on the second floor. On that floor, the washroom was behind the escalator and tucked into a little corner. And since there weren’t any signs pointing to it, there’s no way that you would know that it was there, unless you happened to stumble upon like I did. I just wish that I had been smart enough to write a message like this on one of the walls because by the time I graduated, so many more people had discovered it. It was still pretty empty compared to the other rooms, but it would’ve been nice if it could’ve just remained a hidden gem.

20 COMPANY

I don’t know about you, but I prefer to go to the bathroom in peace and quiet. I don’t need anybody watching me, but that’s kind of hard to do if there are little kids around. I don’t have any toddlers in my family, but my mom has always babysat kids. There was this one little boy in particular who made a habit of coming into the bathroom when I was in there.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. I should’ve just locked the door, but I couldn’t do that because the restroom doors in my house didn’t lock. We just knew that if one was closed then somebody was in there.

The little guy didn’t seem to care about this rule however. He would come in and try to have full blown conversations with me, and even though I would try and get him to leave, he would never listen to me. My mom would literally have to come into the bathroom, pick him up, and bring him out of there for me to get my alone time back. Bathroom time is sacred time, and the only pair of eyes that I’d be okay with watching me, are the ones in this drawing.

19 BEWARE

Watching limbo dancers is insane. As someone who never made it past the second lowering of the bar in limbo competitions, I was always impressed with the people who could get really low. Being that kind of flexible is just insane to me. Right now, the best recorded world record for a woman is 8.5 inches. And even though there’s not one for men, I watched a video of this man and it looked like he was able to make it underneath a bar that was much lower than 8.5 inches.

I just wonder how much effort it takes for somebody to be able to accomplish something like that.

Clearly someone like me could never expect to get that low, but if you’re pretty flexible to begin with then you might try and aspire to beat the world record. It probably would take a while to become bendy enough to become the new champion, but it would definitely be impressive if you were the person who was able to do it.

For someone as bendable as the man from the video and the woman who holds the current lowest level, going under a bathroom stall like this would be child’s play.

18 BROTHERS

I don’t know how many countries use toilet seat covers, but since America does, I’m sure that this message wasn’t discovered in an American restroom. I’ve been to various countries, but the only place that I’ve been able to find toilet seat covers is in my home country. And since I grew up with having access to these I can’t bring myself to sit on a toilet seat that other people have touched with their bottoms. It just seems so unsanitary to me.

Logically, I realize that a little sheet of paper isn’t protecting me from all the germs, but it is cutting back on some, and that’s good enough for me.

So when I am outside of the US, I’m presented with one of two options. I can either hover, or I can get a bunch of toilet paper and put it on the seat so that I can have that protection that the covers at home would give me. And a makeshift toilet seat cover is probably better than one that I would find in a public restroom back at home. Toilet paper is much thicker than the stuff that they use to create the covers, so I actually may be better off when I’m abroad!

17 LIFE LESSONS

George Feeny has got to be the best fictional teach around. If you grew up Watching Boy Meets World like I did, then you also wished that you could have him as your teacher. You wanted to live next door to him so that you could come up to his fence whenever you wanted and ask him questions about life. But even though this wasn’t possible, you did make sure to really listen to the lessons he would give to Cory and the gang, so that you could apply them to your own life.

We got this little nugget of truth in season two, episode 16. In this episode both Cory and Mr. Feeny are having problems with being perceived as to “safe.”

The teacher gives young Mr. Matthews this quote so that he realizes that just because someone thinks something about you, doesn’t mean that what they believe is true.

So, in order to show everyone that they were dangerous, the duo headed to the local theme park to ride the most dangerous roller coaster in town. They literally put their lives on the line just to prove that they weren’t as mild as everybody thought that they were, and in the end they proved that they could be daredevils!

16 CHEAT SHEET

This would’ve been so useful when I was taking honors physics in high school. After taking honors chemistry and honors biology the previous years and doing well in them, I thought that the next logical step would be to take honors physics. Turns out I was very wrong. Out of all of the classes I had to take over those four years, that one was by far the hardest. I had many sleepless nights trying to figure out all of the concepts that went over my head. I asked my teacher for help and the girls in my class who actually understood it, but nothing helped. Whenever I went into the exams, I just prayed and hoped that something would click. I didn’t care about getting an 'A' anymore. I just wanted to pass!

Having something like this would’ve definitely come in handy. If I was stuck on a problem, I could’ve just excused myself and gone to the bathroom in order to get a little bit of help. And I know that I wouldn’t have been the only one who was using it either. There were so many of us who struggled with that class that we would have had to take turns going to the restroom so that we could’ve all used the cheat stall.

15 WRONG STALL

In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, a giant, poisonous snake was basically slithering around Hogwarts and petrifying students. Hermione, Colin Creevey, and Filch’s cat, Mrs. Norris, were all spared because they were lucky enough to not look the Basilisk right in the eyes.

Since Hermione looked at it through a mirror she was saved. The feline locked eyes with the beast through a puddle of water on the ground. And Mr. Potter’s biggest fan gazed upon it through his camera.

Together with his friends Ron and Hermione, Harry was able to figure out that the entrance to the slimy troublemaker’s home was in the girl’s bathroom on the second floor.

In fact, it was in the very bathroom where Moaning Myrtle met her horrid end. This is exactly what this message is referring to.

If I walked into this stall and realized that it wasn’t actually the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets... I’d be okay with that. Harry barely escaped his adventure in there, so I know that I would have a problem doing it. I also would never want to voluntarily put myself in danger, so I would be perfectly okay with not going into the right one.

14 IT MAKES NO SENSE

Tuition at my college was nearly $38,000 a year and to this day, I have no clue where most of that money went. I figure that a significant proportion of it was dedicated to the campus’ beautification process though. My school was definitely one of the prettiest universities in the area, so I wouldn’t be surprised if a nice size of our tuition went towards keeping it that way. And while I totally enjoyed walking onto that gorgeous place every day I had class, I would’ve much rather preferred if it had gone towards something more useful. For instance, having some Charmin Ultra in the bathroom would’ve been really great.

My family always had the cheap, rough kind of toilet paper at home, but I was lucky enough to have the pleasure of using the high quality stuff once in my life. One year I went to the county fair and Charmin had luxurious port-a potties set up. And, of course, each one had some of their toilet tissue in there.

Let me just say, if you’ve never used some of this stuff before, you’re missing out. Using it that day, was one of the best washroom experiences that I’ve had to date.

13 SO TASTY

When you live in southern California, one of your food staples is Mexican food. This is one of the advantages of being so close to the border. There is a large Mexican population in the Southland, which also means that we have access to authentic Mexican food. Some of these people have been gracious enough to bless us with the cuisine of their homeland.

You can go to almost any Mexican restaurant that’s not a chain and expect to eat something that will make your taste buds very happy. And it’s like everything on the menu is good. It doesn’t matter if you get tacos, taquitos, burritos, pupusas, tortas, nachos, or a host of other things. You’ll be in for a treat.

And as I get older, I realize that life is too short to not enjoy the wonder of Mexican food as much as I can.

Yes, it’s not the healthiest thing around, but it keeps my soul healthy. All I have to do is work out a little more than usual after I finish eating it, and it’ll cancel out the unhealthy aspect of the meal. Spending more time at the gym isn’t the most exciting thing to do, but it’s a price that I’m willing to pay for more of this fine cuisine.

12 IS THIS THE KRUSTY KRAB

Someone tried to be philosophical with their bathroom message, and another person who entered into that same stall wasn’t having it. When they saw this, they realized that they could make it better. So, they dug down deep and searched their Spongebob knowledge to pull out this gem.

There are many memorable lines from Spongebob, and many of them come from Patrick. He gave us, “Well maybe it’s stupid, but it’s also dumb.” He echoed our feeling whenever we get lost after getting directions from someone. He always asks the important questions, like when he wondered out loud if mayonnaise was an instrument. I realized that he was my spirit animal when he mentioned that the inner machinations of his mind are an enigma.

And of course, we wouldn’t be the same if he didn’t explain Wumbo.

This particular line is just another reason why we love the starfish. Sometimes he just takes things way to literally. When he picked up the phone at the Krusty Krab and the customers asked if this was the Krusty Krab, he technically answered their question correctly. Yes he may have been inside of the restaurant, but no, that didn’t mean that he was the restaurant.

11 TIME TRAVEL

This message definitely reminded me of time travel.

It’s like future Matt went back in time to warn present day Matt that something bad was going to happen. Future Matt knew that he was going to be in that bathroom, using that stall on that day because he did it some time ago. The only thing was that when he was there, something went really wrong. And since he wanted his life to turn out better than it currently was, he found a time machine, went inside of it, and travelled back to a few minutes before his past self would be going into that bathroom.

And once he was in there, he quickly scribbled down a note so that his past self would know to get out of there as quickly as he could.

He couldn’t go into detail because he knew that if he stayed there for longer than he had to that he could end up making bad things happen in the future.

Plus, he didn’t want to risk the chance of running into a younger version of himself, so he wrote down this message hoping that it would be enough to convince that Matt that he needed leave that restroom ASAP.

10 FORGET YOU

In the summer of 2010, the world was introduced to the “Forget You” by CeeLo Green. I don’t know what it was about this song, but it was insanely catchy. This song transcended genre. It didn’t matter if you liked country music, hip-hop, rap, R&B, or house music, you knew this song. And I’d bet that it was in your head non-stop.

When you first listened to it, you probably thought that it was really good. You thought that it would never get old, but then after different radio stations started playing it around the clock, you got tired of it pretty quickly. As soon as it came on the radio, you would turn to another station, but then chances were that this station was playing it too. You just hoped that any other song would come on, so that you wouldn’t have to listen to it again. You were even willing to a station that you never listened to if it meant that you could just get just go an hour without having to listen to those lyrics again.

I don’t how long this song stayed stuck in my head, but I was so thankful when it finally left.

9 FOUR STAR RATING

As of late, I’ve actually started going into bathrooms where you can leave ratings. It’s usually inside of airports, but other places have them too.

There’s typically a series of faces ranging from happy to sad and before you leave the restroom, you can mark how satisfied you were with your visit.

Some places even go as far as to allow you to leave specific ways on how to improve the bathroom experience. And to be perfectly honest with you, as long as the washroom is clean and fully stocked, I don’t really care too much about the other stuff.

I’ve been inside some that are so fancy that they have couches inside of them. There have even been restrooms that come complete with lighted vanity mirrors. While these are nice fixtures to have, I don’t want to spend more time than I have to inside of a bathroom. If I wanted to sit on a couch then I definitely wouldn’t want to do it inside of place where people relieve themselves. Some people might, but it’s definitely something I could live without. I guess, they’re mainly there for people who are waiting for their companion to finish using the facilities, but I’d much rather wait outside.

8 PLOT TWIST

This message is just so unbelievably wholesome. When you read the first part of it, you think that something dirty is going to follow since something dirty always does after you hear the first line. But then, you realize that the note is actually something nice.

I think that a lot of times it’s pretty easy to get wrapped up in your own life that you forget to communicate with other people. You see your friends, co-workers, and roommates on a regular basis, but you may end up putting your family on the backburner. But you should be spending time with them, too.

For many of us, they’re the ones that we’re going to be able to count on during the rough patches, so it’s important that we don’t just talk to them when we need them. Show them love even when things are good so that they know that you really do care about them, especially your grandparents. They’re old and you don’t know how much longer they’re going to be around, so if you’re lucky enough to still have them in your life then why not give them a call? You and I know both know that they’ll definitely appreciate it!

7 BLASPHEMY

So as I was compiling images to put on this list, I came across this one and realized that it had to go on here. When I saw it, I initially I was only going to write about how wrong this statement is.

Toy Story 2 is a work of art. Sure it’s not as good as the first one or the last one, but it’s still a pretty good movie. That’s why I thought that the person who wrote this is a lone wolf and is clearly mistaken.

The only problem with me adding the first image that I saw was that it was too small. The dimensions were something really tiny like 100x200, and I knew that if I added it into the article one of my editors would send it back and make me find a larger picture. So in order to avoid all of that, I decided that I would just try and find a larger image.

So I went to Google, typed in “Toy Story 2 is ok” and then I waited for the results. I clicked on one of the first images and it directed me to Tumblr. Instead of being sent directly to the image I clicked on, I was sent to a search result on Tumblr for “Toy Story 2 is ok.” And to my surprise, there were TONS of different images with this phrase on it. That means that the person who wrote this message on the bathroom isn’t a lone wolf. There are actually a good portion of people who think this film is just okay, and I don’t how to feel about that.

6 THE FUTURE

A lot of things are going to be possible in the future, and I wouldn’t be surprised if one day people will be dating robots.

I wouldn’t doubt if someday a young man or woman brings their partner to meet their parents and that partner happens to be a robot…

When the robot walks in, the parents are shocked. They try and hide it but they fail and only make things awkward. They want to seem progressive, but they come from a time when people dated people, so the idea that people can date robots is just so far-fetched that they can’t help but be taken aback by their child’s choice in a mate. And as they try and interact with their kid’s significant other, they’ll end up saying something that offends the robot, and then their child will get angry and storm off because they just can’t understand how come their parents can’t accept that they’re in love with a machine. And then as their child is in another room trying to cool down, the parents will try and explain to the robot that they didn’t mean any harm by the comment. They just come from “a different time.” And the robot will say that it understands, and then it’ll leave to go and comfort their human partner.

5 SPELL CHECK

We all know what this person was trying to say when they wrote this, but by changing a few letters around this message goes from Satanic to wholesome. The person who made this clearly wanted other people to see that Satan rules. Now, we’re unable to tell whether or not they really believe this, but this doesn’t make their intention any less clear. The only problem is that, because they didn’t check their spelling, they wound up leaving a note that talks about their love for a type of a material.

And to be fair, most people probably didn’t even notice the mistake.

Our brains do a funny thing where it reads what it thinks is supposed to be there, so even if that message clearly says “satin rules,” many of the people in that bathroom saw something that said “Satan rules.”

They saw the symbol and automatically equated it with Satanism, so they didn’t even really fully take the time to see if the words matched the symbol. But now no one will have that problem anymore. All they have to do is look down at the second note to realize that the Satanist isn’t really the best speller around.

4 TRUTH

I don’t know why crocs ever became a thing. They are hands down one of the most hideous things you can put on your feet. And I know that people say that they wear them because they’re comfortable, but I’ve definitely had shoes that where significantly more comfortable than crocs but also were way more stylish than them.

My dad wears them and whenever I’m with him and he has them on I can’t help but think about how gross they are. And he’s had those things for years, too. He got them not too long after crocs had come onto the market, and he’s worn them ever since.

And it would be one thing if he just wore them around the house. Nobody dresses up when they’re around the house, so if he just wanted to keep them on as he was walking around at home that would be perfectly fine. It’s the fact that he actually wears them in public that’s weird to me. It’s something that I would never do, but I guess if he’s confident enough to wear them then that’s all that matters. I guess I’ll just have to continue to deal with my embarrassment as long as he’s happy in them.

3 JUST STEP INSIDE

So in Harry Potter there are multiple entrances to the Ministry of Magic. If you’re a visitor, then you have to take the visitor’s entrance that’s inside of a phone booth, but if you actually work there then your entrance looks a little bit like this. To go to work you walk into a bathroom that looks pretty normal from the outside. But once you get inside, you realize that it’s anything but normal.

There are lines of people waiting at each stall and each person is only in there for a second or two before the next person enters. And this is because, in order to get in the Ministry you have to stand inside of the toilet and flush yourself down.

The people in line for the flushing act like this is the most normal thing in the world, but if I worked there, I don’t think I would ever get used to having to flush myself down a grimy toilet in order to get to work.

In fact, I would probably find a job outside of the Ministry of Magic if it meant that I would be able to avoid this altogether. Visiting every once in a while via the visitor’s entrance would be quite alright with me.

2 NO NEED TO BE EMBARRASSED

Even though it’d be great if we didn’t have to be embarrassed when letting go of a massive load in public, many of us are. In fact, there are some people out there who are so embarrassed to use a public toilet if they need to do anything else in there other than pee that they’ll just hold it. They essentially equate taking a deuce in a public restroom to torture. They would rather hold it in and make themselves uncomfortable than go to the bathroom in public. But that shouldn’t be the case. This is a natural part of life, so we all shouldn’t be so ashamed to do it. Of course this easier said than done.

We’ve all be socialized to think that pooping is gross. And it is, because it smells, but it shouldn’t be such a big thing because everybody does it. So instead of being so ashamed, we should just go into the bathroom confidently and know that what we’re doing is something that we can’t help and control because it’s what happens to human bodies whenever they need to rid itself of excess waste. We’d all be much happier if we just learned how to accept this.

1 THE TERMINATOR

This person must’ve had a lot of time to waste for them to make this creation. They actually had the time to use the bathroom and then get up from the toilet and turn around to do this.

Most of the messages on this list have just been simple messages or basic pictures, but this person has gone above and beyond.

They not only left a message, but they also made a picture with it. And it’s not just a quickly drawn image. It actually has a lot of detail on it. Like, if you were in art class and your teacher asked you to sketch something that you’ve seen from a movie, you could actually turn this in and expect to get a good grade. It actually looks like the character from the film.

If John Conner saw this he’d probably be taken aback because of how much it looks like the guy that was after him. And what’s even more impressive is that they were able to complete the drawing even with the handle there in the way. They could’ve picked any other place on the wall to make their masterpiece, but they decided that they would challenge themselves by putting it here.

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