If you have children in your life you will quickly realize one thing – children cry. A lot. Whether you have done something good or bad, there is a good chance there will be tears. More often than not, the reason for tears make sense. The kid does something wrong? You order a "time out!" and wait for the water works. But sometimes, the tears will burst out of children's eyes for reasons that can leave a parent scratching their heads or pulling out their hair. Children have an amazing power that lets parents feel like terrible people for trivial reasons.
The Instagram account @AssholeParents is a collection of posts submitted by parents who have perfectly captured the moment their little ones have assigned them to the "a**hole parents" club. These posts involve a lot of tears or some other form of protest; which may or may not involve them pouting, stomping, shouting, or my personal favourite – hurling themselves onto the floor with their limbs flailing about.
Read along to find out why these parents are in fact #AssholeParents.
14 Not crazy for Coco pops
How dare you give me coco pops when you knew damn well I meant fruit!
This little girl has mastered the ever popular "mean mug" down to a tee. Take a look at the pursing of her lips and the narrowing of her eyebrows. Those watery, green eyes are staring right in your direction, piercing into your soul. Her entire expression tells you one thing – you done f*cked up. Even the tension of her posture gives one the sense that she is ready to tear you a whole new one. But hey girl, I have totally had this moment. The moment when you KNOW you said something, because you thought it correctly in your head, so clearly the person in question must have misheard you. Because you know... it definitely could not have been you that said the wrong thing. Don’t you just hate it when people can’t read your mind?
13 You get what you ask for
Just like the last post, this little boy got exactly what he asked for and it was NOT okay. Whether these are tears of joy, which seems very unlikely, or just feeling overwhelmed, the parent of this child is definitely thinking "wtf" at this very moment.
Possible thoughts that could have crossed this child's mind when he received the ice cream he asked for:
"It's not the right flavour!" or, "The ice cream is too cold!". Or perhaps he is upset like the previous child and actually wanted something else! Sometimes you can do exactly what your child wanted you to do and it is simply not acceptable. During moments like these, the reason for tears can usually mean that this kiddo needs a nap, a hug, or just to be locked up in their room for a few minutes. Kids can do a hell of a job at making parents feel completely inadequate in making them happy.
12 One of The Boxtrolls
Children are fantastic at not understanding the concept of safety. Who can blame them after all? For kids, life is all about fun and games. Everyone knows that in order to have a little bit of fun, a little sense of danger is required. But for parents of young children, or for any sensible adult really, playing in the streets is a big nuh-uh. And as for witnessing your children trying to get into the sewer to play, that is a giant and absolute no! Like many children, this little one could not understand why her mom or dad would not let her play in the sewer like the characters in The Boxtrolls movies. Just like her t-shirt suggests, she believes that playing in the streets would lead up to a “gangster party”. With her kickass outfit and protest, mom and dad better get ready for this brave and adventurous girl’s life as a teen. Brace yourselves, parents.
11 What do you mean it's all gone?
Have you ever had such a delicious meal that your heart felt heavy and sank deep into your gut the moment you realized you have already eaten it all? That horrible moment when, really, there is nothing left but the smears of the saliva-sauce stains left from you licking the plate clean. That moment when you have looked down feeling both stuffed yet empty inside as a single tear rolls down your cheek. It's all gone baby girl, all gone. This little girl knows this pain to be all too familiar and she is not dealing with it well at all. There have been many moments when sadly, a server has taken my empty plate away from the table before I was ready to say goodbye. There is that awful grey area where you are still hungry for more but not hungry enough to wait and get a full new plate of food. That is the feeling which leaves you slightly empty inside feeling nothing but sadness, and this little girl gets it.
10 Too good to be true
Food can bring out the best and worst in people. Sometimes, it can allow a person to experience a taste so delectable, so exquisite, that it can bring them to tears. And other times… not so much. For maggiekim49's daughter, that sensation brought her to a full-blown meltdown instead. I think what really makes this photograph so great are the little evidences of cookie traces on her face; the crumbs and the chocolate smeared from mouth to cheek tells us she had one hell of a first bite. We can almost hear her roaring high-pitched cry just by looking at this photo! While I feel bad for the little girl, I can't help but wonder where the hell she got that cookie from! If it is that good to bring her to tears, I definitely want to find out where I can get my hands on some delicious chocolate chip cookies.
9 No wifi, no happy
While some parents can see using electronics with their little ones as a bad thing, other parents view it as a godsend. Although I am not yet a parent myself, I have been around children quite enough to learn that whipping out your electronic device can save you many tantrums and screaming matches. Whether you are a parent dining at a nice restaurant or shopping at a grocery store with your little one, turning on a little YouTube or Netflix can be the best distraction or incentive for your kid to behave quietly. However, not all of us are blessed with a killer data plan that allows us to entertain the children. Nor, are all public places surrounded in the holiness that is wifi. Like the parent of this little blondie, you sure better be ready to take the blame for not being able to make the Curious George viewing machine work!
8 Suit and Tie
Children can be very particular with the clothing they wear. Be it a favourite bright coloured t-shirt, a Halloween outfit worn for one week straight, or just comfortable clothing that they are used to wearing. My three year old niece even went through a phase when she wouldn't wear any footwear other than her pink Dora-themed Crocs, and if we tried to get her in anything else it was a disaster. But who can blame her? Those babies are made for comfort. When a child is forced to wear something they do not like, that child will make sure you know they are unhappy about it. To make matters worse, this little fella was especially unhappy in his suit and tie because his parents are getting married. Chin up little buddy! At least the little one seems happy about his outfit. This photograph will sure be the perfect addition to the couple's wedding album.
7 Baby, it's hot outside
There are moments when I enter my car and it is perfectly toasty inside. A comfortable, warm temperature that just feels like a giant hug as soon as I sit in the driver's seat. Other times, when I first open that car door I am greeted with a huge wave of disgusting hot air that feels like I've entered the world's hottest sauna located conveniently inside my vehicle. I am going to guess that the temperature in this father's car was a little too warm to allow his daughter to stay inside and overheat. Playing and hanging out in the car is like a whole new world for kids. But kids must know the dangers of playing inside a car, especially on a hot day. Kids can suffer from heatstroke or suffocate from the lack of air. So, in this case, dad was saving his little girl even though she might think otherwise. He is also saving himself from a hefty fine or even arrest!
6 In your face!
If you haven't already parents, aunties, uncles, or anyone with children in your life, this game is a foolproof way to get some nearly-pee-your-pants-funny laughs -- for most individuals anyway! Pie Face is a game where the objective is to avoid getting pie in your face. Each player takes a turn to spin a wheel numbered one through five, which indicates how many clicks on the knob must be turned. It is up to fate to determine who is destined to get a big smack in the face with pie. The anticipation and suspense of not knowing when it will happen gets players cracking up in nervous laughter before bursting into a giggle-fest once a victim has been chosen. For this little man, he is less than pleased that he was a victim of being pie’d in the face. It’s all fun and games until you are the one that everyone is laughing at.
5 Ice cream, you scream
Mommy and daddy's are often known to be heroes in the eyes of their little ones. They make booboo's go away. They make sure monsters underneath the bed and inside the closet disappear at nighttime. They even get delicious food to magically appear during dinnertime! According to this gal, a super power her #assholeparent does not have is the ability for the ice cream truck to appear. I mean, come on, it’s summer time. It is hot out. She wants something cold and refreshing to satisfy that sweet craving. She’s probably got her little pockets full of change and ready to hand over to the ice cream vendor. I think my favourite part of this photograph is the fact that this poor kid is outside waiting for the ice cream truck that may never show up on this sunny day. Mommy or daddy may not have the superpower to make the ice cream truck show up, but they do have the power of photographs. And this one is for the books!
4 Swimsuit Required
This right here is a little diva in the making. The intensity of her threatening look reveals that she is no stranger to protesting against parental requests. She is bold and brave. She wants to go swimming and she wants to go now. This yellow suited cutie is not going to let anything or anyone get in the way of that. Mom and dad asked her to throw on a swimsuit before jumping in the pool. That’s a pass for this little girl. Parents are all too familiar with the immediacy of a child’s request, and children are not yet too familiar of the well-reasoned steps that may be needed to fulfill that request – that area of misunderstanding is what makes many parents #assholeparents.
3 Just one bite?
Toddlers are the best. They are so small and precious. Toddlers stumble and walk all over the place. They are learning to talk and say the cutest things. They also do the most adorable things. Some of the things they do aren’t so adorable. And that would be teething, among many other things. Teething is a time when parents can expect to see a lot of drool, crying, and children shoving all sorts of objects into their mouths. For this parent, one of the things her toddler wanted to bite on was his mama’s toe! Whether he was teething or not, he sure was unhappy to learn that biting on his mom’s toe was not off limits. That darling sad face just says “why mama?? Just one bite is all I’m asking!”. Hopefully, this little one will fancy something else other than his mother’s toe to satisfy his craving. But in the meantime, he has signed his mama up to join the #assholeparents club.
2 The toddler workout
Parents will go through great lengths to see their child light up with a big smile or to hear them burst out laughing. A parent will go through what sometimes feels like hours of playing peek-a-book to see that smile appear. Parents will even endure some pain or very minor injuries to hear that adorable giggle. Baby laughed at daddy getting bonked on the head? Let’s try it again! For bonnie.617, she kept carrying her baby and helped her pink-cladded little swimmer jump over the little waves at the beach just so she could have some fun. It was probably a Kodak moment filled with laughter until mommy’s arms were starting to get sore, because let’s get real: repeatedly tossing a baby up and down is one hell of a workout. It is no easy task to keep that workout going on forever. The moment bonnie.617 decided to take that break was when she became an #assholeparent.
1 A different use for TP
As a kid, many simple things in life can bring you joy. The most random objects can turn into anything a child sets their imagination to. A car can become a spaceship. The floor can become lava. A pile of pillows can become a child’s Everest. And for this fella, toilet paper can be used for decorating the house. Perhaps his intentions were to help his parents tidy up the house in his own way using a full roll of toilet paper. And if he was tidying up, he was probably wondering why his parents didn’t let him continue. Or maybe, he was using the roll to toilet paper the entire home. In this little guy’s mind, he was doing absolutely no harm and his #*ssholeparents are becoming completely unreasonable by not letting him finish the job with a second roll of toilet paper! His response? Falling down to the ground in protest; tears included. Life sure is unfair.