We’re not perfect. As much as Beyoncé grooms us to believe that we are, in fact, flawless, we still have flaws. And one of those flaws is hypocrisy. While many of us loathe hypocrites and don’t understand how they can say one thing, then do another, we all have tiny glimmers of hypocrisy in our blood, too. Maybe it doesn’t show itself in life or death situations, but when it comes to small things, we’re all about saying we’re above something, and then doing the opposite. Don’t believe me? How many times have we said we’re “starting a diet and cutting out alcohol,” only to have a ladies night 24 hours later? And we can’t just skip out on ladies night! Or how about saying we “don’t care if they text back,” but then we start hyperventilating because they literally never texted back?
See what I mean? Hypocrites. And it’s okay – we’re allowed to be a mix of two different things. And here are 15 of the funniest.
15 Getting A Job Is No Big Deal...
While young couples everywhere are celebrating love, engagements, weddings, and babies, this girl is choosing herself. And since her life is as important as a couple's is, why not celebrate that relationship with yourself? Especially when you just landed a job! It's a photographer's job to take part in any shoot they're needed for. So why not partake in a job offer photography session? Plus, these photos are so beautifully inspiring, I wouldn't be surprised if this photographer landed more of these gigs.
I don't think this girl is dramatic per se, but I'd say she's extra. To frame a job offer is pretty unique. Especially since the offer probably came via email. So that’s a lot of cropping involved just so it didn’t look lame in the frame.
14 I Don't Need Anger Management...
Before I dive into this meme, can I just say there was no better option for an image than the ‘catch me outside’ girl? She is the epitome of ‘I don’t have problems, it’s people who have a problem with me.’ But y’all already knew that.
Sometimes the only way to calm me down in a moment of anger is to take deep breaths and to convince myself that I don’t care. Whoever is making me angry is not worth my rage, tears, or words. Like many others, I just have to walk away *while breathing heavily*. Like most fights, though, someone typically needs to have the last word. And when those dagger words are dropped — they better run for the hills. After keeping my cool for so long, I no longer have patience. At that point, the last thing I care about is being called a hypocrite.
13 I Would Never Judge You (*Secretly Judging*)
My favorite thing in a conversation is when people say “no judgement” or “I’m not one to judge,” because following those statements usually comes a big “...but,” which contradicts everything they just said they weren’t judging you for. We’re human! We’re going to judge people! Whether we judge them in private, in our heads, or vocally, varies on the person, but nevertheless, we judge the frick out of people. Especially those that we disagree with or dislike. That just comes with the territory of being an enemy.
Someone you dislike could have given their last dollar to the homeless, and you’d still find a problem with them. They’re enemies for a reason.
However, I must say that even though we can't help but judge people harshly at times, just remember, you’re not perfect either, and it doesn’t feel nice to be judged. So take it easy, okay?
*Sigh* Hypocrisy is life.
12 I Don't Find Drama — Drama Finds Me
Do you know what’s hilarious? Whenever someone says, “Ugh, you’re being so dramatic,” just screenshot all the times they were being dramatic and send it to them. And that’s way easier than you’d expect. Think about how many times a friend says “I’m dead” or “I’m laughing so hard right now” or “ I’m crying” or “I can’t even.” Those are all examples of being overly dramatic, people! You’re not really crying — you just thought something was super funny. You’re not laughing out loud — you’re just smiling from the inside. You’re not dead — you’re just shocked at the news you heard. And it’s not like you physically can’t “even,” you actually can, you just don’t want to. See? We’re all dramatic in our way own way. So the next time someone calls you out on it, pull out the receipts.
11 Plz Don't Pity Me (But Only Do When I Need Something)
Whenever someone is a little different than the norm (although the definition of normal can be hard to define), they reiterate how they don't want to be treated differently just because of their said difference. A person who's gay doesn't want special treatment just because they're gay. A person who sprained their foot and has crutches doesn't want to not be invited places just because they can't walk as fast as their friends. And a pregnant woman might not be able to drink, but that doesn't mean she wants to miss out on late night activities. However....(most of the time) when the going gets tough, sometimes people don't want to work hard for whatever it is.
And instead of coming up with some lame excuse, they just pull out the "but I'm different" card.
It's hilariously annoying and yet, it's done every day.
10 Why Am I Single?
My best friend, Lauren, and I used to say this to ourselves all the time growing up. We would wake up late after an epic middle school sleepover, take one look in the mirror, and say, "Wow, is this why I'm single?" If it's not the bad breath, then it's the wild hair that we were naturally given. But on the contrary, we do have those moments where we really do not know why we're single. Most of us are educated, independent, self-made, beautifully imperfect — so what's not to like? But then as soon as Friday night rolls around, where bras are optional and cheese dip is consumed through a straw — it all makes sense. Ahh, so this is why we're single. It all makes sense.
9 I'm Just Gonna Forget About It...
I’m not gonna lie. I have said this exact line multiple times to my friends who were going through relationship issues. I feel like I’m constantly telling said friends to “relax” and to “not think so much about it.” But then when the tables are turned, and I’m having issues, the first thing I do is fricking LOOK INTO IT. I dig deep, I overthink, I look for the smallest things and turn them into disasters.
And if someone told me to "not look too deeply into it,” I’d probably ignore them for a week, because I don’t need that kind of energy in my life.
See what I mean? I’m a hypocrite. We all are! As long as we’re not pathological liars, I think we’ll be okay.
8 I'm Totally Ready For A Relationship (I Think)
We all think we're ready for a relationship when we're crushing on someone hard. The only problem is, when our crush begins to like us, it becomes too real. All of a sudden it's not a game of cat and mouse — it's real life. Instead of playing the field, doing what we want, and flirting with whomever we want, now it's about that time to commit to one person. Committing to our crush seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that our dreams are coming try — is that what we want? Do we really wanna sit at home on a Friday night with one person? Do we really wanna have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Do we really wanna turn down other pursuits because we already have someone at home waiting for us? I DON'T KNOW. It's too big of a deal! So while we might have thought we were ready...maybe we were wrong.
7 I'm Cutting Out Fried Food (*Five Minutes Later*)
This is a lie most of us tell ourselves daily. Personally, I'm super into clean eating, but it's really hard for me to turn down chips and French fries when someone offers me some. The smell alone will drive me crazy. So when I grocery shop, I never buy the food that's gonna leave me feeling like s—t, but at the same time, when I'm out and about, damn Costco samples suck me in. I can't just walk by All Dressed Chip samples or those mini hot dogs on a stick. My self-control is pretty much non-existent when I'm in public, which is why I try to stay indoors a lot. And I know I'm not alone.
How many of you signed up for a gym on January first and went for a week straight and then said 'screw it' and didn't go back for a month later?
Yeah, you're not alone. That's why this meme is so relatable.
6 It's Just A Game...
THIS IS WHY I HATE BOARD GAMES. People say they won't take the game seriously, but then all of a sudden, money gets involved, cards are thrown, insults are flying around — and game night is officially dead. It's not fun anymore.
I, on the other hand, know my weaknesses. Besides having no self-control with food, I also have no patience with board games. There are too many rules, they take too long, and they just get dull. Even when alcohol is involved, gaming just seems too tedious. However, once in a blue moon, I'll get sucked into playing a game, and I immediately regret my decision. Just don't play games, guys. Don't do it. Unless it’s a game that only requires one person (you), then I guess it’s okay.
5 First Thing's First, I'm The Realest
Calling someone fake is like, the ultimate slap in the face. We all think we're real. We all think we're transparent with our feelings, wants, and needs. But at the same time, we're not as "real" as we think we're being. First of all, as a woman, I know what is a bare face versus what Instagram models "claim" to be a bare face. Having no makeup on does not mean having your foundation covered, eyebrows, done, and eyelash extensions on. That might not be a lot of makeup, but it's still makeup nonetheless.
When I see someone with a bare face, I wanna see freckles, scars, acne, wrinkles — the whole nine yards!
Now that's being real. But um...this dude above...the good thing about him is he knows he's fake, and flaunts that religiously. So he has that going for him, I guess.
4 I Gotta Cut Back On My Spending
Me, me, me — this is me. I mean, I don't want a pet turtle, and I sure as hell don't want to deface their shell by putting designer cloth over it, but I do buy s—t I really don't need. But in the moment, I could convince the damn Pope that I need something. I need ice cream because it's summer and there's only so many months you can eat it outside. I need a Louis Vuitton backpack, because I'm only young once and I deserve something nice. I need to take a week off from work to go on vacation with my friends because everyone needs some mental health days, right? See? I can be pretty convincing. The only problem is, my bank account freaks out on me when I say I need things. Yeah, she doesn't get too happy with me.
3 There's Not Enough Hours In A Day
Honestly, I'm thrilled I'm not in college anymore. With so many online quizzes depicting what kind of fruit, vegetable, or apartment you are, I would have never gotten any work done.
It seems so insignificant, but in that moment, I need to know who my celebrity BFF would be based on how I cook my eggs.
Those quizzes are so ridiculous and random, that they're hard to stay away from. Plus they're kinda fun. We learn a little more about ourselves when we have to pick which bed we would wanna sleep in out of four choices or dog breed we would be if we absolutely had to pick. It's fascinating. So yeah, knowing all of these things, I wouldn't have ever studied or did homework. I would constantly do quizzes and learn more about myself than the topic I was looking at.
2 'I'm Fine'
I think by now we all know that when someone says "I'm fine," they're actually not fine. They're anything but fine. They're pissed and they don't know how to express their anger yet, so they just sit there and stew until they're ready to unleash their wrath. Not that I blame them, of course. As much as I tell my friends to express themselves when asked by their significant other, I do the same exact thing. It's conflicting, eh? We know we're not in a good mood, and we know why we're mad, but we don't know how to voice our dismay without freaking the crap out. It's kinda like we're a toddler again. Instead of calmly stating our points, we end up screaming and pacing and not making any sense. Some things never change, I guess.
1 Do What You Want (*Don't Fricking Leave Me*)
While every relationship is different, many couples can relate when it comes to clinginess or possessiveness. Most of us claim we're not clingy. Most of us say we don't care if our significant other goes out until 4am. But on the contrary, we're actually dying inside. We don't want our significant other to have fun without us. We're the funnest person our significant other should know! They can't just go and have friends of their own!
WE SHOULD BE ALL THAT OUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER NEEDS.
But these are fellow human beings we're talking about here. We all need our independence and time away from our significant other. Time apart doesn't always need to be a bad thing. Sometimes time apart can be healthy in a relationship. But that doesn't mean we're not secretly clingy AF.