So, Avengers: Endgame happened. I figured that I'd let you know in the nearly impossible likelihood that your social media feed wasn't overflowing with threats of bodily harm if you were to post anything that would remotely spoil pretty much any aspect of the viewing experience.
So what did I decide to do, in light of this passionate display of dedicated fandom? I decided to put together a list of juicy spoilers to post on the internet. Because I don't value lame stuff like having healthily intact friendships and walking down the street without rabid Marvel fans engaging me in a physical altercation.
But while I'm in the business of spoiling the flick in the worst ways possible, I thought it'd be fun to counterbalance such an outrageous stunt by having a solid hoot at some of the "spoiler leaks" that the movie put to rest as soon as it hit the screen. Because being honest, some of them are pretty hilarious. Anyway, let's get into it. And before we dive in, if it weren't obvious by now, yes, there are legitimate spoilers ahead. Proceed with caution.
20 REAL SPOILER: We Lose Iron Man
Let's go ahead and get this total punch in the gut out of the way – Endgame deprived us of our genius playboy billionaire philanthropist, and there wasn't a dry pair of eyes in the theater when it went down.
Tony Stark rises to the occasion when things look their bleakest, and sacrifices himself in the eleventh hour to turn the tide against Thanos and his cronies. It might break our hearts, but it really brings everything full circle considering we have him to thank for essentially kicking off the epic MCU saga that brought us here.
19 TOTALLY MADE UP: Tony Stark Is Kang
I'm not sure who came up with this wild theory, much less why it manifested as a popular spoiler leak, but here we are. The idea that Tony Stark either was Kang the Conqueror the entire time or somehow ended up manifesting as him for an unpredictable (and super silly) plot twist has definitely made the rounds.
After the Scooby-Doo like reveal of Tony as Kang, the last twenty minutes allegedly consisted of the Avengers' final, bombastic fight with Tony... er, Kang. Pretty glad this one didn't come to fruition because the rest of the plot details surrounding it are both lame and incomprehensible.
18 REAL SPOILER: Black Widow Sacrifices Herself
That's right, femme fatale Natasha is on the loss roster. After she and Hawkeye learn that one of them will need to sacrifice themselves in order to claim one of the all-important Infinity Stones, they engage in a bit of a brawl over who gets the dubious privilege of snuffing it for the greater good.
Obviously, Black Widow gets the power of choice in this exchange, leaving a distraught Clint to deliver the incredibly costly prize. At least this isn't the last we'll see of her, as I've heard tell that there's a Black Widow origin film in the works.
17 TOTALLY MADE UP: Captain Marvel Loses Her Powers
It seems like a bit of a silly leaked spoiler, and it'd be awful strange if this were a plot point that took center stage after Captain Marvel was roped into the saga at the very last minute, something that Disney had fought tooth and nail for. But there is, at the least, some weight to the theory rooted in the source material.
There is a certain point in time during which Ms. Marvel comes to blows with the X-Men's Rogue, and as anyone familiar enough would know off-hand, Rogue absorbs the powers of anyone that she touches. However, this is a big and lengthy plot to shoehorn into the events of Endgame, so needless to say, it doesn't go down like this. Not yet, anyway.
16 REAL SPOILER: Thor Packs On The Pounds
Some leaked stills of an unkempt Thor with a serious Big Lebowski aesthetic made the rounds before Endgame hit the theaters, and drew no shortage of skepticism among fans. Lo and behold, we got what was shown, and the explanation is equal parts tragic and hilarious.
We encounter the bedraggled God of Thunder having given over to depression, letting himself go and whittling away the days drinking and playing Fortnite in light of Infinity War's catastrophic events.
15 TOTALLY MADE UP: Ant-Man's "Creative" Strategy
I can't believe that I actually need to say this. But this was a "spoiler" that achieved such universal acclaim that it absolutely has to be touched on. So thanks, internet, for making my job equal parts easy and incredibly bizarre.
You folks might want to sit down for this one, because it's going to hit you pretty hard. But Ant-Man does not, I repeat he DOES NOT, wriggle his way into any of Thanos'... openings so that he may expand once he's inside and defeat the Mad Titan from within. Seriously, people. What is actually wrong with you?
14 REAL SPOILER: Thanos Is Snapped From Existence
After Tony Stark manages to bamboozle Thanos by getting the Infinity Stones into his own suit's gauntlet, he turns the big bad's ultimate power against him with a snap of the fingers.
Naturally, this brings about the end of our beloved Iron Man, but Thanos' primary scheme coming back around to bite him was a perfect send off for the musclebound purple meanie, and the look on his face is priceless when he realizes he's been totally had before Iron Man snaps his fingers with the stones he's stolen.
13 TOTALLY MADE UP: The Hulk's Ready For His Rematch, He Can Feel It
This fake trailer leak has evolved into a meme among the Marvel fandom, with its legendarily terrible "leaked" description circulating widely on account of its seemingly unintentional hilarity, including the dreadful spoken dialogue that makes up the title of this entry.
The whole thing is entirely too lengthy to include in this entry, but it's pretty easy to find. I highly suggest that you take a few moments out of your day to give it a read, because you definitely won't regret it. You might cringe a bit, but the resultant laughter is totally worth your time.
12 REAL SPOILER: The Hulk Fixes (Mostly) Everything
We actually get two "snaps" from the Infinity Gauntlet over the course of the film, with the first one being more of an "unsnapping" if you will, to restore those lost. With the universe thoroughly devastated after the loss of half its inhabitants due Thanos unleashing the snappening upon it, none other than Bruce Banner takes it upon himself to set things right when he's up to bat.
Of course, this comes at the end of a lengthy a complex series of time travel shenanigans in which the gang get the Infinity Stones from the past and slap 'em into a knock-off Infinity Gauntlet, and the Hulk just happens to be the lucky, durable guy most likely to survive the immense surge of power. And just to make sure we're totally spoiling this, yes, he does survive.
11 TOTALLY MADE UP: Captain America Bites The Dust
One popular falsehood that made the rounds prior to the film's release was that Captain America, and not Iron Man, was the one to make the final, ultimate sacrifice to save the universe and put Thanos down for good.
This one's been well supported by speculation, fan theories, and of course, several different hoax leaks capitalizing on peoples' willingness to buy into it. One huge kerfuffle that gave some life to this fake spoiler was Serena Williams' big oops at the Oscars. But with Steve Rogers being as selfless as he is, it's not difficult to see why this one ended up getting so popular.
10 REAL SPOILER: Captain America Lives Happily Ever After (Sort Of)
This was actually sort-of spoiled by Mark Ruffalo a long time ago. When talking about the fake scripts that were used to throw leaky crew members off the scent, he provided a pretty strong indication that Captain America was headed towards a fairly happy ending in which he winds up living happily ever after with the girl of his dreams.
And as it turns out, he was pretty on the nose with that one, since at the end of it all Steve elects to return to the past where he can live his life out with Peggy.
9 TOTALLY MADE UP: Thanos Wins
This was probably the most obvious contrarian spoiler effort to have ever hit the fan base. But with the surging popularity of films and series that actively subvert audience expectations of a heroic victory, such as Game of Thrones, allowing it to bend your ear is a little more than understandable.
It's a popular troll move, so chances are you've seen it thrown around in practically any discussion that preceded the arrival of Endgame, and that you had an easy time dismissing it as pure nonsense. But given how bleak things look at the conclusion of Infinity War, it makes sense that a few people would fall down the rabbit hole here.
8 REAL SPOILER: Rocket Is Reunited With The Guardians
Out of all those to have lost someone during the "snap heard 'round the universe," Rocket's got a fair case as one of those most deeply affected. Having essentially lost the entirety of his Guardian crew, he's pretty distraught.
So Guardians fans should be overjoyed to hear that the Guardians are returned to action over the events of Endgame, between the reversal of Thanos' dreaded snap and some relatively complicated time shenanigans, paving the way for new adventures. And yes, as I'm sure most of you are wondering, this includes Groot.
7 TOTALLY MADE UP: Loki Is Disguised As Ant-Man The Whole Time
This one's actually been around since the first teaser dropped for Endgame, and it hasn't changed much since then. Some people just don't know when to let go, do they?
Technically, we do have a living version of Loki via the time traveling antics involved in Endgame, but I think we can rest pretty solidly assured our old version isn't kicking around while wearing an Ant-Man disguise. We can at least admit that it's interesting, if baffling in terms of logic. But realistically, we've got no cause to believe Loki's playing hide and seek with an Ant-Man costume, let alone the rest of the Avengers.
6 REAL SPOILER: Captain America Wields Mjolnir
During the climactic final battle towards the film's end, Captain America's epic moment during which he's able to call Mjolnir to his hand and wield it against Thanos nearly sent audiences into a standing ovation.
It's an excellent callback to Age of Ultron's post-credits scene, showcasing the Avengers each taking their turn attempting to lift Thor's great hammer. No one's successful in the least, with the exception of Steve Rogers. He manages to slightly budge the hammer, much to Thor's visible alarm, showing that he might've been well on his way to being worthy enough to command its power.
5 TOTALLY MADE UP: Captain Marvel Defeats Thanos Alone
This one's been hot since Captain Marvel was revealed as a participant in Endgame, as she's a hero of incredibly immense power and skill. I mean, why else would they be bringing such a powerhouse on board for the last ride, right?
While she plays a pretty big role, she's not the one ultimately responsible for toppling the Mad Tyrant. This is probably for the best, as the rest of the crew are the ones with a real grudge to settle, and knowing that he falls before them gives us a little catharsis after the immense losses he inflicted during Infinity War.
4 REAL SPOILER: Thor Joins The Guardians Of The Galaxy
Of all the character arcs that are wrapped up with Endgame, Thor's chosen path is probably the most interesting and promising in terms of future adventures, and honestly, I'm pretty hyped about it.
With everyone proceeding to their logical ends, Thor takes a hard left turn and decides to set off with the Guardians of the Galaxy as they depart, and Thor becoming a regular feature in their space faring adventures has all sorts of incredible potential. Personally, I can't wait to see what they end up doing with this.
3 TOTALLY MADE UP: The Avengers Initially Spare Thanos
This one's accompanied by an absolute deluge of total nonsense from a hoaxed spoiler leak, but it kicks off with this notable discrepancy from the actual film. Rather than Thor going all righteously Asgardian on the weakened, post-snap version of Thanos, they just sort of call it all even and leave him alone.
All save for Nebula, who attempts to use his broken gauntlet to snuff him out and blows her arm off in the process. The particular fake "test screening" this was derived from goes on to make several more outrageous claims, but this one was easily the most erroneous.
2 REAL SPOILER: Nebula Vs. Nebula
Endgame's plot is pretty centralized on the concept of time travel, creating a whole lot of interesting, if controversially confusing situations for our host of heroes. This is doubly so for heroes that were actually villains earlier in the series - particularly Nebula.
As such, we actually end up seeing her square of with her decidedly evil past self when the latter decides to start tossing wrenches all willy-nilly into the Avengers' exploits, resulting in her future self actually offing her past self. This obviously has no ramifications in their current timeline, as future Nebula doesn't really seem particularly worse off for it.
1 TOTALLY MADE UP: Galactus Is In The Post Credits Scene
As if to place a seal of finality on the saga, Avengers: Endgame doesn't give us the post-credits stinger that we've come to expect from the tail end of every MCU flick. At all. Let alone one that introduces the next all-encompassing MCU supervillain.
Instead, we're given an ominous sound of metal against metal, and while that's lead to a whole web of fan speculation that we're not going to touch on just yet, one thing is for certain: we don't have any sort of conventional post-credits scene to speak of, and it definitely doesn't feature Galactus.