American singer-songwriter Tom Waits is a notoriously cagey, private man. Broadway star and massively successful actress Bette Midler is also private about her life but still very outgoing and beloved by her fans. Waits is beloved by his fans too, but in a different, more subtle way.
So, one might be surprised to learn that, allegedly, the bold Bette Midler and the dark and melancholy Tom Waits once had a romantic arrangement. Sources indicate that for a brief time early in Waits’ career, Midler and he had what some describe as a “sporadic affair.” Waits has been happily married to Kathleen Brennan ever since the 1980s, and Midler is still married to Martin Von Haselberg after the challenges their marriage has faced over the last 30 years. But, everyone has a past, and these two have one together that would make a tabloid writer's heads spin with speculation if it happened today.
7 Bette Midler And Tom Waits Met In New York In The 1970s.
Waits career began in the early seventies when he began workshopping his music and poetry at open mic nights, eventually landing gigs at nightclubs like The Troubadour in West Hollywood. It wasn’t long until Waits had earned the attention of prominent musicians, and his first major gig was as a supporting act for Frank Zappa’s band The Mothers of Invention on their 1974 tour.
When the tour concluded, Waits returned to the East Coast. This is where he met Bette Midler.
6 Bette Midler Was Already A Star When They Met
By the time they met, Bette Midler had already become a household name because of her performances on Broadway. In 1974 she had already won a Special Tony Award and had been nominated for several Grammys, winning the award for Best New Artist that same year. After that, she began to rub shoulders with many celebrities.
But, she was also close to the Avante Garde and proto-punk rock musicians of New York, like punk musician Johnny Thunders who she briefly dated. During this time, Middler would run into many of the same people as Waits in the Avante Garde scene.
5 Bette Midler And Tom Waits' Affair Begins Around 1974
Details are sparse, as Tom Waits is an incredibly private man, so private that he has never commissioned or approved any biography that has been written about him. Waits and his wife have even gone as far as to ask their friends and family not to give interviews to authors who reach out to them for interviews about Waits’ life.
This is the challenging part of telling this story. Although Bette Midler admits it is true, and Waits has never officially denied it, Waits’ privacy makes it hard to know how and when their affair officially began. We can assume they met through casual acquaintances, since at the time both were running with similar crowds.
4 How Long Did The Affair Last?
No one really knows thanks to Tom Waits’ obsession with mystery and privacy. Midler tends to be very hush-hush about her private life as well. What we do know is that the affair most likely came to an end around 1979 or 1980, maybe earlier. Waits married Kathleen Brennan in 1980 and the two have an incredibly strong marriage, several children, and there has never been a report about infidelity between them in their 40 plus years of marriage.
The affair was certainly over by 1984 when Midler eloped with her current husband, Martin Von Haselberg. However, Waits and Midler remain good friends to this day.
3 Did Bette Midler And Tom Waits Ever Perform Together During The Affair?
Yes, they surely did. While seeing each other when they both lived in New York, Waits was recording his first albums. He had just finished his tour with Frank Zappa and was poised to move up as a headliner in the music industry. His first two albums Ol 55 and The Heart Of Saturday Night were becoming cult favorites and in 1977 he recorded Foreign Affairs which features Midler’s vocals on the song “I Never Talk To Strangers.”
2 Their Affair Might Have Ended In 1977
While details about their affair are vague, only being described as “sporadic” by sources like Lowside Of The Road and The Many Lives Of Tom Waits, which are both unauthorized biographies of Tom Waits, their affair might have ended much sooner than previously thought. While Waits’ dating life is not a well-known public record, we do know that before dating Kathleen Brennan, Waits did date at least one other musician, singer-songwriter Ricky Lee Jones.
1 What Are Bette Midler And Tom Waits Up To Now?
Waits has not recorded a studio album since 2011, much to the heartbreak of his fans. Midler has begun to slow down after a career that spans over 50 years but she still performs and acts. Since their time together, Waits’ albums continue to be bestsellers and Midler has performed in several classic Broadway shows and Hollywood films, like everyone’s Halloween favorite Hocus Pocus (and in late 2022, she'll return for Hocus Pocus 2). Midler also won a Tony for her performance in Hello Dolly in 2017, her first Tony since 1974. Waits is also an actor and has been in several films directed by Francis Ford Coppola and Jim Jarmush. Waits’ most recent role was as the Gold Miner in the Coen Brothers’ Netflix Western The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs. Both now in their 70s, they continue to find ways to please their fans.