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Can You Guess Who Said These: Donald Trump or Futurama's Zapp Brannigan?

It's that time of year, people. No, not Halloween, but this year it is something equally, if not more scary than that. It's that hectic, period leading up to the general election. It won't be long before you have that girl from Paranormal Activity in your head whispering, "they're here." As those of you who have been following the election, or, in all realness, those of you who own a computer, already know, both presidential candidates have provided us with plenty of humorous material. Hillary's got the pantsuits and the painful-to-watch efforts to appeal to our nation's youths, but Trump? Trump's got everything else. Especially notable, though, have been his comments about women, the military, and quips in his own defense which really just reveal exactly how unintelligent he is. Remind you of anyone? If any of you are Futurama fans and your mind went to idiotic Nimbus captain, Zapp Brannigan, you'd be on the same page as a good majority of the Internet. In fact, the juxtaposition of Donald Trump quotes on Zapp Brannigan pictures and vice versa has recently become a popular meme. Think you can tell the difference between Brannigan and Trump? You'd be surprised.

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15 On IQ

slightlywarped.com

Answer: Donald Trump

So one of the things Trump is famed for is his schoolyard bully-esque persona. He walks around with his chest puffed out and his insecurities shielded by a layer of orange tan-in-a-can only to project those insecurities onto other people. It's the most classic defense mechanism and Trump is its new poster child. One would think that only Zapp Brannigan would be so ridiculously un-self aware that he would call potential voters stupid and insecure, but nope, it was our good friend Donald Trump. Maybe his intellectual IQ is high but his emotional IQ can't be far above zero if he seriously expects people to empathize with him for throwing them under the bus (and bragging about it, too).

14 On the Word, "Screwed"

slightlywarped.com

Answer: Donald Trump

Speaking of Trump's admirable IQ, you'd think he, unlike Brannigan, would have a way with words, right? But oh man is that assumption ever wrong. This Trump quote is just one of many things that show Trump is literally just word vomiting as he goes, without any real plan. His schoolyard bulliness is also once again displayed in this quote as his attempted avoidance of the word 'screwed' due to its double meaning in English is honestly the equivalent of a 12 year-old defensively saying "no homo." This makes the Zapp Brannigan image chosen in the meme all the more perfect, as his pose implies that yes, he did, in fact 'screw him' in the sexual way.

13 On Attitude

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Answer: Zapp Brannigan

Honestly the fact that this isn't a Trump quote is quite possibly more surprising than the fact the last two are. It's just so applicable to so many things Trump has said. From refusing to stop talking in debates, to becoming upset when fact checkers, economists, and other educated individuals inform him that certain things he has said or has planned are simply wrong or infeasible. Let us not forget the classic "we're gonna build a wall and make Mexico pay for it" line that Trump dropped early on in the debate season. Can you not just imagine Trump retaliating with the quote from the meme when the president of Mexico basically said, "no we won't"?

12 On Rank

slightlywarped.com

Answer: Donald Trump

This quote is kind of the perfect phrase to assign to a picture of Zapp Brannigan (especially in salute, God I do love a poetic meme), seeing as Brannigan is an 'accomplished' military general. The thing is, if you have watched Futurama, it is eventually revealed that most of Brannigan's military victories have only been due to the fact that they were fighting either ill-equipped or pacifist nations. I can't help but be totally convinced that if Donald Trump were made president, and thus Commander in Chief, the situation would be the exact same. Obviously anyone who calls themselves 'big at the military' is not exactly sure how the military works, nor should they have access to nuclear weapons.

11 On Command

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Answer: Zapp Brannigan

It might've been easy to figure out that this quote was said by Zapp Brannigan, but are we really so sure Trump wouldn't say this? I mean, let's be real, at this point it's pretty clear that he'll say just about anything to appeal to as many Conservative voters as possible. In recent years, Trump didn't even identify as a Republican, and he was pro-choice for God's sake. Not saying Trump is a good person by any means, but the fact that he's gone from those arguably liberal position to the far far right is a big indicator of how shameless he is. It's unlikely he would ever commit suicide, especially with that huge ego of his, but it would be unsurprising for him to say he would and then ultimately fail to follow through.

10 On a Winning Strategy

uproxx.com

Answer: Zapp Brannigan

Oh look another military-related meme, except this time the quote was actually said by Brannigan. Really messes with your head, doesn't it? Once again we have an example of a guy basically talking out of his ass concerning his military plans, only in Brannigan's situation he actually has the power to execute his 'plan'. Trump may be able to say something like this, but at least as of now he can't enforce it, all he can do is defend himself as he later gets dragged on the Internet. BUT if he does become president he will have the opportunity to 'hit that bull's eye' so to speak, which is why I beg of you Americans out there to vote before it's too late.

9 On Body Positivity

slightlywarped.com

Answer: Donald Trump

Oh my god, do I ever wish I had both of these men's impermeable egos, and it seems Trump wins the battle of the egos in the end. I cannot attest to how large Trump's 'other part of his body' is, but if his tiny hands and overcompensating attitude are any indicators, I can't say I imagine it looking too promising. How are there people out there who are still convinced that he is fit to run a country? His level of comebacks are like that of a twelve year old, and the fact that he was even so defensive about people making comments about his hands is even more alarming. Oh and P.S., Trump, I'm pretty sure to qualify for president, size doesn't matter.

8 On Women

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Answer: Zapp Brannigan

How's this for some locker room talk? Zapp Brannigan might have said this, but the only reason there's a Brannigan quote instead of a Trump quote on this meme is because no one made a meme for Trump's 'grab them by the pussy' line. Both quotes are pretty similar, both are objectifying, and both use terms for the female anatomy that would not be out of place in a middle schooler's notebook. Unfortunately for America, especially America's women, one of the sources of these lines is a real person, who genuinely believes this is okay, and cannot simply be written off the show if he causes too many problems.

7 On Money

quoteshunter.com

Answer: Donald Trump

What do you do when you have no one to talk you up? You talk yourself up, duh. No well-adjusted human being would actually think this, as it reveals incredible narcissism and insecurity, but Trump seems to be on a completely different level. I'm sure he considers himself well-adjusted, and in fact calls himself 'the most well-adjusted', but in reality, when he has continuously dropped lines like this one, he makes it pretty clear that his tough guy, know-it-all, 'look at all my money' attitude is definitely all an act.

6 On Being "His" Woman

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Answer: Zapp Brannigan

If he can't say he doesn't envy Melania, I certainly can say I don't. This might have come from the mouth of Zapp Brannigan, but dang it, it's that pesky ego of Trump's again that's making me question my sources. I mean, obviously women are pretty expendable to him considering Melania is his third wife. He could also, ya know, just be that insufferable that two women have already realized they can't stand him for the rest of their lives. Either way, I know Trump thinks he's a catch, but I'd sooner agree with Zapp Brannigan that he's a catch than bestow such a compliment upon a man like Trump.

5 On Global Warming

slightlywarped.com

Answer: Donald Trump

It's quite fitting that Brannigan is smoking a cigarette in the image featured in this meme, considering this idea conceived by Trump that 'global warming was created by the Chinese' is nothing but a pipe dream. It's statements like this that have prompted Hillary Clinton's team to ask for fact checkers during debates, and also yet another way for Trump to pander to the bigots out there. It might be kind of hard to make America great again when you're failing to focus on making our planet great again by ignoring the concept of global warming, just a theory.

4 On Handling

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Answer: Zapp Brannigan

So this might be one of my favourite Zapp Brannigan quotes just because of how downright outlandish it is, but I just could not help but imagine this one coming from Trump's mouth. I mean, he did compare a former Miss Universe, Alicia Machado, to a pig, so it's not too far of a reach, right? Besides, comparing women to inanimate objects is part of the egotistical never-left-his-frat-guy-phase mentality I believe, because having women who actually stand up for themselves and speak their minds make them 'nasty'.

3 On Picking Up Women

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Answer: Zapp Brannigan

I feel like this Zapp Brannigan quote is important to feature because it shows that on top of viewing women as objects, he also feels he is entitled to them. And what better Trump image to pair this Brannigan quote with than a photo of him with pageant queens? Considering the multiple women who have stepped forward, a few of which being pageant queens, Trump has made it quite clear that he believes he can grab any woman wherever he wants to, or have her do whatever he wants her to do, just because he has money. I, and many other women, might joke about or actually want a sugar daddy, but that means we want it on our own terms. Using money as an excuse to touch a woman without her consent? That's a whole different story, which I won't dive into right now.

2 On Repeating Oneself

youtube.com/notoriousvines

Answer: Donald Trump

It's the utter stupidity of this utterance that makes it seem like it were meant to be a meme. Do you, Trump? Do you really not repeat yourself? Did that IQ of yours really not send you a red flag signal just before you decided to repeat that phrase? And so what if you do repeat yourself? What kind of weird power dynamic is this? Politics is all about repeating yourself, repeating your platforms at location upon location when campaigning and repeating your central views every time you speak. Perhaps this is why Trump's platforms and views seem to change on a bi-weekly basis. Now how does that sound for a potential 4-year president?

1 On Race

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Answer: Donald Trump

After all the memes I've included, it just wouldn't be right not to include a meme involving Trump's overt racism in one final hurrah. Of course Trump doesn't want black guys counting his money, he doesn't want them working either, or peacefully protesting, or, if you're reading the subtext, being alive. Trump has such a narrow idea of the perfect America that even his ideal banker is a specific kind of (presumably white) person. That being said, Zapp Brannigan may be narcissistic, a little naive, and a little moronic, but at the end of the day, even if he weren't a fictional character, I still think he just might make a better leader of the United States than Trump.

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