The internet is a place of memes, fake news, and sports—though there's also the saying that about 98% of the memory on hard disks across the planet is occupied by the filthiest of filth. The children raised in today's culture run the risk of being almost entirely brought up on silly jokes and selfies, with very little actual knowledge of the shimmering world outside the walls of their dark, desolate bedrooms.
But the real world has plenty of fun stuff, too, including the world of fast cars and big trucks. Gearheads appreciate the internet because it offers a new way to find parts and knowledge about cars—though automotive forums have become equally about trolling as they are about helping fellow enthusiasts.
There are thousands of parts that make up each car on the road, however, and while scouring the internet for parts and wisdom, it's easy to get distracted by some hilarious car-related slang. Keep scrolling for 18 terms the internet just wasn't ready for.
Younger drivers may not know what a dipstick even is, given that some new cars don't come with this component. But older generations know how crucial the dipstick is for measuring a car's oil level and consumption. Unfortunately, the word itself is pretty hilarious and has taken on a meaning of its own online.
Some speed freaks may love to hear that they're car's been stroked, even if they haven't been any time lately. But getting your engine stroked is going to be anything but sleep-inducing because, despite what the internet may have led the less knowledgable to believe, it actually increases the combustion chamber to increase power.
16 Master and Slave
When the mechanic refers to your master and slave, he's not talking about some BDSM obsession or making a reference to South Park. This isn't a history lesson in morality, either. Instead, he's referring to components that convert force into hydraulic pressure and back, used to translate brake and clutch pedal travel into brake pads squeezing and clutch plates grinding.
Some dudes might like to go out and get slammed (or do the slamming, as well) but in the car community, getting slammed isn't getting inebriated or having a good time with a close friend. While both those uses of the term may sound great, a car that's been slammed is lowered over huge wheels, typically with air-bag suspension, and is effectively ruined.
14 Blowing A Seal
Blowing a seal might sound like a good way to get arrested at the zoo, but in automotive applications, it's not the news anyone wants to hear. When a mechanic says your engine has blown a seal, that means the critical gaps between metal components that are typically regulated by gaskets and seals have grown to large and fluids are leaking or mixing excessively.
Trannies get brought up in automotive circles constantly—and it's not just because gearheads love Eddie Murphy. Tranny is short for transmission, the mechanical device that links the engine to the driveshaft. (Some cars use a transaxle, which also fits under the umbrella term). Part of the hilarity stems from the fact that trannies can come in all shapes and sizes, including with a stick shift.
Lube is just as crucial for cars as it is for other, more enthusiastic, activities—though this depends on driver enjoyment, to be fair. Lube can colloquially refer to actual grease used between metal fittings and/or bushings—though in today's parlance, lube is a term that is also synonymous with engine oil.
A car, unlike most men, can have many shafts: the crankshaft, driveshaft, axle shaft, and more. And while the term might make some drivers giggle, if something is wrong with shafts of either a biological or mechanical nature, a long visit to the doctor is in order. After all, a mechanic is like a doctor for cars, in charge of keeping it healthy for as long as possible.
In the automotive world, the Probe was an unfortunate event that any unlucky enough to experience would rather forget—which actually isn't too different from the probe made famous on the first episode of South Park, come to think of it. But the Ford Probe was way worse than a fictional cartoon character's momentary discomfort and could have been even worse if it received the Mustang nameplate, as was the original plan.
A whip sounds like something that might come up in the same situations as the master and slave, above, or in reference to someone who has given up all self-reliance to their significant other. But when "whip" is said in relation to cars, it just means any car, though perhaps slightly leaning towards cars that are fast, with big rims and ridiculous paint jobs.
In the automotive world, a four-banger is not a multitalented individual capable of pleasing many others at once. Instead, four-banger just refers to a four-cylinder engine, which has long been the most common engine layout in the world, coming in either inline-four or V4 layouts. So please try not to chuckle when the mechanic refers to a "turbo four-banger."
To the less mature mind, jugs might be a word that conjures up very specific ideas. In the automotive world, though, jugs just refer to the engine's cylinders, where combustion creates the magical forces that drive the car down the road. Both uses of the world might be magical in their own right, it turns out.
A pump in a car isn't quite the same as the pump that Austin Powers vehemently denied was his in the first film. However, there are some similarities, as pumps in a car create pressure. Every fluid used in a vehicle has a pump, from the water pump that circulates coolant to the oil pump that pressurizes the oil and even the windshield wiper pump.
For gearheads who really want to get grounded, LSD is an essential additive to their vehicles. The less experienced among drivers might be nervous to bring up LSD with their dads—unless their dads grew up in Laurel Canyon in the 1960s—but the acronym just stands for Limited Slip Differential, not Lysergic Acid Diethylamide.
Crank was a ridiculous Jason Statham movie that helped solidify the British actor as a movie genre to himself. Crank is also a euphemism for certain illicit substances. But in a car, the crank is the shaft that transforms the up-and-down movement of the pistons into rotating force and then sends that power down the line, eventually to the wheels.
3 Crotch Rocket
Though technically not a car term, this one does apply to motorcycles and is explicitly funny. No, a crotch rocket isn't going to explode out of anyone's pants. Unfortunately, a crotch rocket might explode around the seat of someone's pants, though, because the term refers to a street-sport motorcycle with tons of power, typically juiced up with mods.
2 Blow A Rod
Blowing a rod isn't just something that huge Yankees fans dream of doing on a daily basis. The general concept of blowing an average rod might even seem funny to plenty of people perusing the internet, too. But blowing a rod in your engine is anything but a good time for anyone other than your mechanic, who will moan with pleasure at the thought of all the money he can charge you for an engine rebuild.
1 9-Inch Rear End
In the age of the Kardashians, a nine-inch rear end might not sound that impressive—even if it is a little funny to say out loud. But a nine-inch rear end, or even bigger, is a common term in automotive circles, especially with hot-rodders. It essentially refers to the rear differential and axle setup—and bigger typically is better, something the Kardashians seem to agree with.
Sources: Wikipedia, IMDb, and Hamilton Cams.