As part of a car thief’s probation, a judge in Hawaii has suggested that he refrain from drinking his favorite soda.
Let’s be clear: soda, pop, and soft drinks are all sugar-filled death potions. They’ve been linked as one of the many causes of the obesity epidemic, they rot your teeth, can give kidney stones, and can even cause loss of bone density. It’s also been reported that 180,000 deaths worldwide can be attributed directly to these sugary, carbonated beverages.
However, as bad as soft drinks are, not once has there been a published study linking soft drinks to car thievery.
Christopher Montilliano Jr. stole a car last year. It was a 1990 Honda Accord, and during his arrest, the 21-year-old told a few white lies to police to see if that would get him off the hook. One of them was that he was given the car by his cousin and was unaware that it was stolen.
He also said that he was going to the store to pick up some soda. That was probably not a lie, as he told police at the time that his favorite drink was Pepsi. However, the fact he needed the car to acquire that Pepsi was also another lie.
“You didn’t want to admit that you actually stole the vehicle,” said Judge Rhonda Loo in Maui court during Montilliano’s sentencing last Friday. “Is it because the soda made you do it?”
After his initial arrest, Montilliano spent 7 days in jail. He was originally scheduled to be sentenced in November after working out a plea deal with prosecutors, but he skipped his court date. That caused him to get arrested a second time and spend an additional 3 months in jail.
According to his defense attorney, that extra time scared him straight. “I’m not going to steal cars anymore,” Montilliano told the judge. “I don’t want to be in jail no more.”
Judge Loo was sympathetic but incredulous about the whole soda addiction angle. “I’ve heard a lot of people addicted to meth. I’ve heard a lot of people addicted to alcohol,” Loo said. “This is the first time I’ve heard of a Coca-Cola addiction. I’m sure the soda didn’t make you steal the vehicle.”
As reported by The Maui News, Montilliano pleaded no contest to driving without a license and "unauthorized control of a propelled vehicle.” In addition to the prohibition on Pepsi, he was sentenced to 100 hours of community service and a $100 fine.