Close Enough! 20 People Who Couldn't Be Bothered To Use Autocorrect

Don't kid yourself, spelling, punctuation, and grammar are insanely important. They're vital to any joke, statement of love or anger, or any comment section argument that we may have online. If we misspell even the most pedestrian of words, we're bound to never hear the end of it. Mistakes like that basically nullify anything we say going forward. Not only do they do that, but they also make us out to be an uneducated caveman; as opposed to an educated caveman who at least knows how to spell the word "embarrass"... ironically. But the following folks clearly weren't paying attention in elementary school. That or they just don't care that they come across as cretins. Without further ado, here are 20 people who couldn't be bothered to use Autocorrect.

20 A High Jean Problem

You hate people with bad hygiene? So do I. But I also hate people who don't understand how to use their friggin Autocorrect. It's not like learning to fly a helicopter; you can get a control over it fairly quickly. And if it's causing you trouble, you can always turn it off. If you are too lazy to learn how to navigate it or remove it completely, then you can always do a little thing called "proofing your darn writing." But, hey, I don't know. Maybe she did proofread it. Maybe she meant to send this out the way it was. Maybe she's just that much of a blithering moron to believe that hygiene was spelled that way. People who make strong public criticisms of other people should probably at least cover up their own blemishes as best they can before they go mouthing off like this sad speller.

19 A Total Fined

Via: BoredPanda

Wouldn't this be such a nice silver-lining to having your car towed? At least it would pay for the UBER fair to get down to the tow-lot. Still, I'm not sure it would be enough of a win to completely erase the massive inconvenience and financial stress of getting your car towed. Much like how I believe that people who make demanding public criticisms of others, I also believe if one is trying to enforce the law, they have to do it correctly. That means being an adult and knowing the difference between "fined" and "find." It's not that hard.

Here, I'll use them in a sentence: If these absolute colossal twits don't fix their bylaw sign, I will personally find a tire iron to smash the living daylights out of this sign — even though I'll probably be fined for property damage.

18 A Question About Life

Via: BoredPanda

Usually, when trying to quit a program or website on my computer, I'm not looking to be asked grand philosophical questions like this one. Especially questions that literally make me question whether I want to continue living or just curl up in a ball and die.

"Are you sure you want to exist?"

Well, I'm not sure I ever want to come back and use this program again, I'll tell you that. Because of this, countless people are bound to be living in a state of anxiety while they try to determine if their life is worth living. The answer is that it's probably not worth living but you should probably try and make it worth it. After all, it's the only one we get, regardless of what the crazy person at the end of the street screaming "repent" says.

17 A Bowel Movement Is Necessary

Via: MediaSlice

After eating KFC, a bowel movement is almost always expected. And man oh man is it ever a loaded bowel movement. That's what happens when you eat fast food. As good as that stuff can taste, it will just kill your insides. And if it doesn't kill your insides, it'll kill your roommate once they have to smell what you had for lunch. Actually, eating KFC may be a great way to commit a homicide and get away with it. Hate your spouse? Well, just roll on over to KFC and get some "finger licking good" chicken. Wait a half a day. Take a visit to the porcelain throne and let a rip. If your spouse is within a few meters and catches a whiff, you won't have to listen to their incessant nagging much longer.

There ya go, folks. I just saved you thousands on couples counseling fees.

16 Poor Owen

Via: MediaSlice

Unless it's Owen Wilson they're referring to, I'm not sure anyone would be interested in what these guys are selling here. At the very least people would be mighty shocked to find out that their black and white cookie came with what looks like big juicy raisins.

This is a pretty irresponsible spelling error for anyone to have, but it's particularly bad for a business that sells cookies.

After all, they want to make their products sound appealing and scrumptious so that you'll want to fork over some dough for it. When a spelling error at a grocery store or cafe indicates that the food is shoved into every single orifice found on each employee, it may be hard to sell cookies that have been shoved in orifices for warmth; you may have a problem or two.

15 A Dumb Kid In Houston

Via: BuzzFeed

While I'm not sure how this kid has gone from a valedictorian (who usually oozes intelligence) to someone who spells like a one-legged cat that's suffered a particularly nasty stroke. I can understand why he thinks he's an idiot. He must have mangled that word up so much that Autocorrect could do nothing but turn the word into one hell of a new one. A "valid Victorian," well that's darn creative, isn't it? I wonder what would constitute someone being a "valid Victorian"? Well, Charles Dickens is definitely a valid Victorian. So, is Lewis Carroll and Alexander Graham Bell. Queen Victoria was a Victorian whose name was actually "Victoria" and thus created the period. But one thing is for sure, there's no chance that this silly kid from Houston knows any of the people I just named.

14 A Cat Bite

While it's true that Autocorrect can be particularly nasty to your words, especially when it comes to voice-to-text, this one was completely in Brad's hands. I don't understand. Why didn't Brad mention that his cat was biting him instead of just leaving it like this? He just completely made the other person believe that he was having a minor stroke. But no, he had to send the message as it was without any explanation.

This is why it's always a bad idea to use voice-to-text unless you're writing something for you to review privately at a later date.

This is because you literally have no clue what your nasty little phone is writing. Heck, the phone could make you come across as an all-out racist for all you know. Never trust this function. It's trying to ruin your life worse than heroin.

13 A Lawsuit At McDonald's

Via: List25

Due to the fact that McDonald's loads their lettuce up with an excess amount of sugar, in order to have you hooked on the product, it's completely possible that someone could have a seizure salad. While the strange use of emotions could signal that she is, in fact, making the same statement, something tells me that she's just not all that tuned into the world. This particular error cannot be blamed on Autocorrect. This one is completely at the fault of the writer. It's kind of impressive that she misspelled "Caesar" with "seizure" since the latter is actually a harder word to spell and say, for that matter. So while we all laugh at her dimwittedness, we can also applaud her for spelling a word that could easily win her a game of Scrabble.

12 A Classy Guy

Via: BuzzFeed

There's a reason why this guy had no clue how to spell filet mignon. That reason is that he's clearly not worthy of a good one. He's not only "weird," he's got less class than a truck stop restroom.

For one, no one—and I mean no one—should eat a good steak with ketchup.

That crap just ruins all of the natural flavors of the meat and the spices it's prepared with. Secondly, the way he misspelled "filet mignon" is also an indicator that he doesn't even know what language that name derives from. Wouldn't most people misspell it messing up the second word? The first one is pretty easy, no? I suppose not. But, hey, what should I expect from a guy who squirts ketchup onto a perfectly good steak.

By-the-way, why didn't he just write "steak"...

11 A Freudian Slip

Via: BuzzFeed

It sounds like someone hasn't gotten any for a while. Therefore, it's without a doubt that "raw man noodles" would ruin their diet. In their defense, however, this seems like it may not be a Freudian slip after all. In fact, it looks like it's more of an Autocorrect issue. After all, Autocorrect is notoriously bad with brand names. To our phones, "raw man noodles" makes more grammatical sense than naming something that's not in the dictionary.

This just proves that Autocorrect is the great enemy of mankind.

Not only is it messing up our lives, it's not even doing what it was designed to do. It was supposed to make us better spellers and more grammatically correct. But instead, it's turned perfectly nice people, like this tweeter, into horny perverts.

10 A Realistic Scented Candle

Via: BoredPanda

I think this hilarious spelling error is more than it appears. I think it goes further than being a silly mistake or being a Freudian slip revealing the terrible, cheaply manufactured aroma of the candle. I honestly believe that what it's really doing is telling us how a candle can be more accurate. There are so many strange scented candle smells designed to celebrate certain seasons. Something with pumpkin usually makes it out for Halloween, but if you ask me, it's not the best representative of the season. Puke, however, is far more appropriate. It's basically what everyone does on Halloween. We're either kneeling over the porcelain floor from eating too much candy or drinking too much liquid candy. So, bravo terrible speller, you actually did well here.

9 A School Worth Avoiding

Via: MediaSlice

I hope to God that this is a joke. The irony here is so off the charts it could pretty much hit me in the face. Though, on the plus side, I'm pretty sure most passersby would be very curious about what kind of speeches would be made on December 8th. It would kind of be like going to a freak show; everyone there repulses you but yet you can't look away from the horror of it all. I feel bad for the kids whose families can't afford for them to go to a school that can actually do its job. After attending this nightmare, they clearly don't stand a chance in the world.

On a different note, how terrible is the school's slogan? "Where children and learning come first."

Jesus, guys, come up with something a little more creative like, "Where children come and learn goodly."

8 A Dream Of Paris

Via: List25

Parisians notoriously can't stand outsiders who abuse the French language. Therefore, the chances of them liking this guy are pretty slim. After all, they can't even avoid abusing their own language. But what do you expect from a person with a profile picture of them rubbing their chin with their middle finger? They clearly have less class than Tom Brady fans when the New England Patriots lose... or win, for that matter. On the flip side, this Paris-dreamer has inadvertently brought up a frightening but fascinating truth; at some point, in the not so distant future, everything will be owned by a major corporation. Hell, most things are already. But I could definitely imagine Apple purchasing things they shouldn't own, like the iFold Tower or The London i...

7 A Road Of Corn

Via: List25

I'm pretty sure this person shouldn't be allowed to have cornrows. Anyone who desires anything they can't spell should be banned from having it. Though, I have to say that I'd argue against this person getting cornrows in the first place. I just find them a little unnerving. When I see them, I just stare at someone's scalp. Strangely, this is not the case when a person is just plain bald or even has a bit of a bald spot. Cornrows are just creepy to me. Especially when someone doesn't do them correctly. Maybe it's because I've always hated the people who only got them when they visited a tropical beach.

They always shake their hair so the beachy seashells clang and clash together,

just to remind everyone else that they didn't get drunk on mai tais in Bali over Christmas break.

6 A Complete Troglodyte

Via: MediaSlice

So this particular addition to the list could get pretty political. I'll do my best to avoid it. Though, even if I don't say a single solitary thing, someone is going to get mad about it. That's just the climate we live in right now; you can't please anyone. But let me just start by saying that though it's common to see terrible grammar and spelling from the type of people who wear American flag bandanas and ski glasses, one is likely to see a great wealth of stupidity at a rally full of people from the other side of the political spectrum, too.  They just probably wouldn't see this precise version of imbecility. A lack of brain cells is not exclusive to either side. Both just have very consistent versions of being idiots. But, hey, at least this guy spelled "brain" right; that's hard when you don't have one.

5 A Talented Tongue

Via: BoredPanda

This has made me never want to select unpackaged food ever again. Being a germaphobe, I had worries about it before, but now I'm basically having a full-blown panic attack.

Who knows what imbecile has read this and has actually attempted to loop their disgusting tongue through a bagel hole?

Those things could be coated with all sorts of germs and diseases. People are revolting, they truly are. Almost everything about them drives me insane. But the thing that irritates me the most is when people do thoughtless things like sticking their bare hand into something that everyone wants/needs to access as well. This kind of self-centered rudeness turns a Sunday morning lox and bagel into a week-long cold.

4 A Media Misspell

Via: MediaSlice

Poor Lance Armstrong, he can't catch a break, can he? I realize that he was guilty of doping and that let down a lot of his fans. But in all fairness, every other biker and athlete has or still is doing the same. But now he's caught using rugs, too? How bad can things get for the poor guy? In all seriousness, it's particularly bad when a media organization has a typo. The press is already receiving a ridiculous amount of negativity these days, mostly for completely inauthentic reasons. But what they certainly don't want to be doing is giving their criticizers legitimate things to attack them for. Spelling and grammar is literally the easiest part of a journalist's job. Seriously, that's the number one thing they have to get right. No one is going to take them seriously if they're reporting a global scandal and spell it "global sandal".

3 A Robot Night

I have no clue what this mom was trying to tell her son. I suppose she meant "tonight," but there's just not enough information to know that 100%. She could still be saying that she wants "robots tonight." She just didn't try and correct the mistake enough. If she and her husband are so adamant about Jane and her son to "finalize a plan," she's going to have to go over her Autocorrect mistake a little more carefully.

In all honesty, I'm totally uncertain as to why Autocorrect would replace "tonight" with "robots" of all things.

That seems like a completely unrelated word to use. Perhaps the Autocorrect was trying to warn her of a robot uprising that is secretly taking place. That's literally the only explanation I can think of for this totally random error.

2 A Brid Bird

Via: BoredPanda

How does someone spell "bird" wrong? Better question; how does someone spell "bird" wrong when it's the only word written and it's next to a picture of an actual bird? That's pretty inexcusable. One doesn't need to be an avid wordsmith to spell it correctly. Do they really expect anyone to trust their product in any way after this total fumble? If they can't spell the word "bird" correctly, do they truly think people believe that their bucket will stay in one piece after purchase? That leads me to the most important question of all: who in their right mind would want a bucket with a picture of a bird and the word "bird" on it? Is it supposed to be some sort of meta-design trend?

1 A Friendly Pear Or Two

Via: BoredPanda

I'm not sure why people take their fortune cookie messages seriously. If you found a message scrolled up in any other food, like a steak, you'd send that s—t back to the kitchen. That is if you didn't accidentally swallow it, only to come across it the next morning.

But alas, people put a lot of stock into whether or not a little piece of paper tells them that they are going to find love soon or not.

What's interesting is that there are only a handful of companies in the world that manufacture these little fortunes. That means that the company you most trust with your future-telling scrolls are potentially printing thousands upon thousands of misspelled messages a day that are sure to ruin your Chinese food experience.

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