The 90s were a strange time in our lives, no doubt about that. It was the decade of cult fads and viral trends like no other, not only nostalgic and exciting, but downright strange and unsettling at times. Blowing into technology, dancing the Macarena, lucky rabbit's feet, pagers and, one of the weirdest of all, creepy toys that all kids wanted to get a hand on to play with. How could we not realize just how nightmare-ish these toys were?
Today, we're diving deep into the 90s in search for some of the creepiest dolls that were extremely popular back then, but that surely would make us jump from our chairs if we'd find them staring at us from the corner of our attics. After this, you'll probably be wondering why your parents would buy them in the first place, or why you thought these were toys you'd want to fall asleep holding onto, because I'm surely wondering the same!
19 Baby Born
Kids love having baby dolls, playing the miniature maternal role like it's something fun (it won't be in 20 years, will it?). But, considering the 90s were as weird a time as they were, it was only natural that plain old baby dolls weren't doing it for kids anymore. If they were inventing dog robots, it wasn't a surprise when Zaph Creation created Baby Born, a doll that could cry actual tears, wet their diaper (all with water,) and make crying noises. It can't get any creepier than that!
I don't even know what these are but I feel a wave of unease just looking at them. According to the Fandom's description though, "The Boohbahs are a group of furry 'atoms' of energy and the titular characters of the show." These "atom" characters had a furry body, small "hands" and bald baby heads with wide eyes and unwavering small smiles. If that isn't a creepy toy, I don't know what is.
17 My Twinn Dolls
This specific doll was invented back in 1993 when a doctor realized that his younger patients wanted a doll that looked like them. So, he thought that it was a good idea to invent a system where children could build their own dolls to their measure, from hair color to facial features. All they had to do was send an image of themselves and the miniature twin doll was created, in all its creepiness and unsettling nature. I'm ready to call a priest.
Now that Furbies are making a comeback and still being sold all over the world, it's time to tell you that I still have one sitting on top of my dresser and I absolutely despise those blank, lifeless eyes that seemed to blink whenever I look away.
They seem to be softer, more colorful and less creepy now, but they all own that same lifeless stare that doesn't get any less creepy when you turn them on. And do I dare mention how strange their language ("Furbish") was? Weird and unsettling sounds that could mean a plethora of things, from "tickle me!" to "feed me!" or "tell me a joke!". This was a 90s nightmare we all haven't still quite recovered from.
15 My Size Barbie
No matter what you tell me, My Size Barbie was never a good idea in the first place. It's creepy enough to wake up in the middle of the night to see that raggedy doll sitting on a chair in the corner, much less a doll the size of your former young self, staring at you with eyes that appear as if a human soul was trapped inside.
With the Barbie craze spreading across the nations in the 90s, it was inevitable that after all the versions they created, a life-size Barbie would be next on the list. Girls everywhere wanted a Barbie the same size as them that they could call a friend, dress up, put on makeup and ruin their hair with glitter. That unwavering creepy smile never left the doll's face though. It still sends shudders down my spine.
Even though these nightmare-ish dolls have been around since the 60s, 90s kids took a liking to collect them, for whatever reason. Perhaps it was the craze of colors, how seemingly every troll had their own personality despite the fact that they all shared the same unwavering eyes, smile, open arms, and hair that looked as if it took three hours with wax and humidity to accomplish.
Years later, Trolls are still popular in the form of movies and animated series, and it seems we won't be getting rid of them as soon as we'd like to.
13 My Buddy Doll
Listen, after watching "Child's Play" this weekend, it was hard to even look at My Buddy Doll the same way. Yes, they were extremely creepy as is, but they get even creepier when you realize they were the inspiration behind Child's Play.
It was in the late 80s, early 90s, that Hasbro created My Buddy Doll, a doll for boys that would become their very own best friend, a doll to hang out with that wasn't merely directed at girls. It was a sweet idea, no doubt, a little boy doll with freckles, blue eyes, and various skin tones and hair colors. However, once Child's Play came out, no child wished to look into the dead eyes of a My Buddy Doll again.
Teletubbies was that children's TV show that I just couldn't watch, even as a kid. The creatures had human faces but strange, colorful bodies and huge ears, and my small young brain couldn't wrap its mind about why there was a baby's face on the Sun and why it giggled in such a creepy way. It was nightmare-inducing.
Whoever thought that it was a great idea to make Teletubbies toys was probably not in their right frame of mind (which I can forgive if they had been forced to watch Teletubbies in the first place).
11 Gooey Louie
Gooey Louie was just plain weird and disgusting, and I still wonder why it was even on the market in the first place. Basically, the toy consisted of a cartoon head where kids could pick "gooeys", or boogers, out of Louie's nose. If the children picked the wrong "gooey," Louie's brain popped right out of his head. No wonder kids would pick their nose and get confused as to why their parents would tell them not to, it was even marketed to them in a toy. The 90s were just incredibly weird.
10 My Pet Monster
This charming doll came out in late 80s/early 90s, and it's a freak show on its own. It's literally what the name entails, a monster that kids can play with, and an ugly and creepy one at that. With huge teeth, scary eyes, and shackles on its hands, it's mind-boggling why children ever thought this was a toy they would have a good time with.
Madballs was actually a TV show back in the day, oddly enough, that originally began as toys for children. These creepy balls were strange characters in ball-form that you could bounce around and it would creep everyone out. I mean, have you looked at those faces? Due to popularity though, the original eight characters turned into a whole collection, and soon was turned into an animated series and comic books.
8 Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids
This twist to the original and popular line of the Cabbage Patch kids may seem fun at first as they're a bunch of dolls dressed as school kids during their snack time. The one peculiar thing about these dolls was that each one had a motorized mouth that would chomp down on plastic french fries (and collect them in their backpack to be eaten all over again).
However, these dolls had a habit of chowing down on kids' fingers or hair. There were even stories of parents being forced to call 911 after the doll took a bite out of their kids, and Mattel eventually began a nationwide recall. Is that creepy enough for you?
7 Jibba Jabber Shake And Squeeze
Jibba Jabber Shake and Squeeze is an odd toy to look at, no doubt about that, but what's creepy about this doll isn't the way it looks - it's the sound it makes. A Jibba Jabber was a weird, skinny doll that when you shook it, it made an incredibly annoying and weird noise that made kids laugh and parents want to bury Jibba Jabber deep in the ground. Listening to that noise would make anyone go absolutely mad.
6 Baxter Stockman-Fly Action Figure
Baxter Stockman is the half-man/half fly character from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and, naturally due to the popularity of the show, was turned into a toy, that a few years back was redesigned in a much creepier way. However, any version of this character made into a toy is nightmare-inducing and shouldn't be allowed to exist in the first place.
5 Teddy Ruxpin
I've had my fair share of teddy bears back in the day (maybe I still have some...) but very few of those are talking teddy bears, and for good reasons too. Ruxpin was creepier than most, reading children bedtime stories or singing them lullabies as they stared lifelessly at them. Just imagine, years later, having forgotten the batteries inside, and turning it on again, only to listen to a demonic version of the teddy bears voice singing a lullaby to you.
Wicked Cool Toys, who produced the latest model of Teddy, decided the original wasn't creepy enough and made it with glowing eyes. Can't get any creepier than that.
4 ET Finger Light
The premise of this toy? Helping children have fun in the dark! After the smashing success of the iconic 1982 film E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, toy companies decided that it would be smart to provide all boys and girls with the dream of owning a long and wrinkly finger-shaped toy with a tip that lights up in the dark. Definitely, one of the most inappropriate toys in the 90s that will for sure go down in history!
3 Play-Doh Doctor Drill ‘N Fill
Play-Doh came out with amazing toys in their time, and still does, entertaining and fun, but this was a bad example of that. The 90s were crazy as they were, but making a toy where kids could play dentist to a creepy head, pulling teeth and filling cavities? This is how you train slasher villains for horror movies. It surely wouldn't teach kids about dental hygiene.
2 Creepy Crawlers
A toy created by Mattel in the 90s, Creepy Crawlers seemed to be the crazy of the decade, a machine where you could make bugs out of a syrup and an electric-powered mold that heats to 300 degrees Fahrenheit (149 degrees Celsius), creating disgusting plastic goop creatures such as spiders, scorpions, centipedes, all the while breathing potentially toxic and deadly fumes. And don't let me forget to mention kids handling a sizzling hot plate— that surely doesn't look like a hazard.
1 "Don't Wake Daddy" Board Game
As with the example of the Ouija Board, it isn't just dolls that deserve our attention on the creepiness scale. The "Don't Wake Daddy" toy isn't just weird by name, but in its essence, seeming to hold something creepier within.
An easy board game where the point was to have the kids sneak out of the bed and through the house without waking up their sleeping father, any move you made had the potential to make "daddy" pop out of bed. Granted, the children would sneak out of bed simply for a night snack, but what would be so terrifying about waking "daddy" up? We're left to wonder...