There is only one living marshmallow on the planet and he goes by the name of Cumlord the Pomeranian. Being a marshmallow can be tough, especially with such an unfortunate name, but he makes the most of it. He enjoys anything food related and everything he does is considered adorable, but what marshmallow wouldn't be?
What does a marshmallow do during its time on Earth? This is the question on everyone's mind, as they are concerned for his safety in today's dangerous world. Fortunately, he has documented his adventures on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube through a series of photos and videos. Read on to learn the facts you need to know about Cumlord the Pomeranian!
11 Cumlord has His Own Anatomy
Cumlord has his own anatomy chart because marshmallows are different from humans. The new names for different parts of his body make perfect sense. His tail brushes up against everything and his sitter is what one might consider a floof. His eyes are more orb-like than ovally like ours and a chungus sounds like an accurate description as it grazes against our eardrums.
This helps us better understand Cumlord as he goes through life as a marshmallow. He must have been so confused when he started hearing names for body parts that were different from his own childhood teachings. He is raising awareness about the struggles of living marshmallows.
10 His Line of Merchandise is Adorable - Especially the T-shirts
Cumlord is not only a marshmallow but also an entrepreneur. His merchandise line is a unique compilation of t-shirts, mugs, hoodies, phone cases, and more. His merchandise is not only a way for him to support himself, but it's also a gift to humanity.
You could add Cumlord to every aspect of your life, bringing a piece of this marshmallow with you everywhere you go. The men could pick up quite a few ladies by donning his gear because women love men who love marshmallows.
9 Cumlord Creates Hilarious Memes
This marshmallow is not only adorable but has a sense of humor as well. Cumlord is not afraid to poke fun at himself, the sugar of his core making it impossible for him not to find it funny. He is confident and an inspiration to other marshmallows everywhere who fail to see their self-worth. This meme brings joy to the world, as it gives people a reprieve from the stresses of life. The stab at his own being brings a smile to the saddest of faces, his sugary goodness directly striking their hardened core.
8 He is a Foodie
Cumlord is a major foodie, enjoying the best delicatessens the world has to offer. He will eat anything, his palate diverse, as he strives to try every food. He can recommend the best meals for the small fee of a snack. He understands ingredients and which ones work best to come together to make the perfect dish. Eating is his number one hobby and he surrounds himself with memories of his favorite foods. Cumlord can't go without his pizza or burger plush as they bring him happiness even though he can't eat them.
7 Cumlord has His Own Chair at the Human Table
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your tummy is rumblin, you're keen to smash a plate of long-pasta. you set it down on the table and go back to grab a glass of water, you come back. it's cumlord. he has materialized into your chair and begun to eat your stringy luncheon. - - - #cumlord #pomeranian #japanesespitz #white #dog #pets #dogsofinstagram #dinner #cute #wholesome
Cumlord is accepted for who he is as a living marshmallow, granted the coveted seat at the human table. He sees it as his clear purple throne where the humans deign to feed him the delicacies of their realm. This home considers him a king and he accepts the title with open arms. Other homes may not have treated him as well, but he found a place where he would be pampered. Cumlord knows he belongs and loves being surrounded by his favorite foods, instead of scrounging for scraps like less fortunate marshmallows.
6 He Enchants Milkdogs with His Butt Dance
Cumlord is a marshmallow of a different breed, doing things and going places no marshmallow has gone before. He was strolling by a pasture and witnessed milkdogs for the first time in his entire life, forming an instant connection with them. He began shaking his floof sitter and the milkdogs started to flock, enchanted by the mysterious marshmallow. Cumlord's dance was their drug, a spell cast upon them which made it impossible for them to look away. He understood their need to see his dance, so he obliged, putting on a show for anyone watching.
5 Summoning Cumlord is a Complicated Process and it Involves a Lot of Marshmallows
Did you know that Cumlord, as a living marshmallow, can be summoned like a genie from a bottle? Well, you do now. It is a complicated process and takes years to master, as not just anyone can summon Cumlord from his marshmallow state.
He goes from big marshmallow to a bunch of little marshmallows, but it doesn't end there. Upon tossing a mini marshmallow, a stuffed version of Cumlord will appear and after that final step, Cumlord himself will materialize out of thin air. The magic of a living marshmallow is something the world may never understand.
4 He has Tried (and Failed) the Pringles Dog Challenge
Cumlord prides himself on his willingness and determination when he tries new things. The Pringle Dog Challenge was no different as he attempted to carry a stack of Pringles on his snoob. Cumlord was so focused on how the Pringles would taste after the challenge that he lost his focus. He failed, his snoob to small and jittery to carry a single chip, but he didn't mind. After all was said and done, he felt he was a winner as he gobbled up the broken chip pieces off the ground.
3 Cumlord Has His Own Anime
Marshmallow anime is what the world needs. Filled with dancing and peculiar outfits only Cumlord could pull off. It is entertaining, in a way only marshmallows can be, his fluffy exterior pulling you in as the anime ensues. The plot of this anime is unknown, but it is sure to leave you feeling good long after you watch it. Cumlord's bubbly demeanor is on full display, a crowd pleaser at heart, shining in the spotlight as he owns every second of it.
2 Costumes are His Thing
Cumlord is the king of costumes, donning a wide variety to please the masses. His adorable marshmallow nature can't be imitated because he is one of a kind. His second favorite costume is the pineapple because it is as sweet as him. Marshmallows envy his ability to become someone or something new with a simple outfit change, but he assures the community his favorite form is when he is a marshmallow. He will never forsake his true identity to become something he is not, only entertaining the idea of being someone else for a short while.
1 Cumlord's real name is Houston.
This is probably the most surprising tidbit of information, and a tad disappointing too. Cumlord is so unique and questionable, while Houston is just plain basic. What kind of person would give a fluffy marshmallow as adorable as this one such a generic name? Monsters that's who.
His owner made up for it by changing it to something worthy of such a creature, but at the end of the day his name is still Houston and always will be. Fortunately, you can refuse to acknowledge him as anything but Cumlord, keeping the magic of such an extraordinary name alive.