The world gets pretty bad sometimes. Thankfully, there’s wholesome memes out there to cheer us up. Maybe someday it’ll consume the Internet, and all humans will evolve into something more perfect and pure, but until that night, we can just dream of that day.
Along with being wholesome, memes can also break our heart. They jerk tears out of our jaded little tear ducts and they reaffirm the Internet’s reason for being. It’s not to communicate knowledge amidst a global community, it’s not to desensitize young children to graphic violence; it’s to stockpile the greatest collection of puppy pictures.
Just gimme a puppy picture, slap a caption about my mom’s expectations for me on it, and we’re good to go. That’s the palette cleanser for these eyes that have seen such awful things. Let’s renew our souls now, y’all.
15. The Flashback
Well, only a chihuahua in a zip-up bathrobe (I know it’s a hoodie but that texture is straight up bathrobe material) can pull off the smugness in this photo. Especially to someone they gave life to. Without weighing more than five pounds (or even close to three), this dog looks like every matriarch ever. Look at those little paws crossed in front — they look so much like hands in that posture despite being covered in fur. By the way, I know what Yoda looks like and I still stand by what I’m about to say… There’s something about this puppy’s clasped paws that makes him look like Yoda. I know, I know, he’s the wrong color and the wrong species, but I’m also totally correct. That’s why this Chihuahua is smiling like that.
14. A Good (Old) Boy
Look at those old tennis balls. Are they from this guy’s wife’s walker or did he collect them because he lives next to a golf course? Does it matter? He’s got a whole bag and there’s no way he needs that many tennis balls for himself. Not all Santas wear over the top furry bodysuits, you know? And unlike Santa, this guy is not in a rush. He’s gotten this far by being considerate and he’s here to spread a little joy. You know those animal shelter employees totally know this guy’s name because he’s in every two weeks, and after this he’s going to go visit his incredibly ancient mother and have tea. And then go to the library and pay everyone’s fees. And then take a midday nap in the sun.
13. A Beautiful Disaster
Yeah, that movie didn’t take a lot of logistics into consideration. How did Edward even get those emo pants off? We don’t need to talk about it. He probably had a lot of other issues in this department. I don’t want to talk about what I mean. This picture makes my point and we don’t need to get into it anymore, so conversation over. Let’s pick a new topic.
Like any sad kid or melting snowman who just achieved their dream of vacationing in Hawaii can tell you, this is the ultimate feeling of despair. It’s like the universe is laughing at you almost exclusively. What are my options, universe? Keep struggling or stay on this potty forever? Fine, something else will vanquish me if it’s not this.
12. Just Give Him A Chance
Okay, you don’t know that he can’t do it. How do you have any proof that this tiny, perfect, little puppy can’t lift, if you don’t let him? Has it ever occurred to you that considering how perfect this puppy is, he might also be a perfect athlete? Exactly, so keep your judgement to yourself. Has this puppy told you he can’t do it? Then you don’t know, keep it to yourself.
Everyone step aside, give him some room. I mean, don’t stare… that’s way too much pressure. Just act normal. Text or something. You can watch but don’t act like you’re watching, you know what I mean? Play it cool, man.
11. The Perfect Pair
It’s so perfect. It’s all come full circle in such a beautiful way. This is so much better than tennis balls on the end of a cane or walker — tiny shoes is where it’s at. You genius. No, tiny socks would be too much. I’m sorry you need help walking, but you’re perfect and more people need to be like you.
“For sale: baby shoes, never worn” Okay cool, I don’t care about the subtext of that vague statement, so just sell me those baby shoes at a discount and I’ll slap them on my cane and walk around like the best man in the world. Also, now I need to match my giant person shoes to this tiny baby shoe so go away, I’ve got work to do.
10. Weird Dreams Coming True
Is that… the car I drew in kindergarten? Is that the shade “Dark Sienna,” otherwise known as rust but given a great rebranding by Crayola? There’s that long-a** hood I drew and those wheels that are barely connected to the rest of the car and the totally useless, lumpy windows. It’s all coming together! Who’s driving it? Is that a stick family? A stick man with pointy black hair and a stick woman with two weird curly strands of blonde hair? And their gross little children in very blocky clothing?! It’s my bad drawing of my family — they’ve finally found me! And behind the car… Oh no, it’s the seahorse monster I drew when I was 5 years old and super angry about not getting as much ice cream as I felt entitled to! Everybody run!
9. Small, Simple, Perfect
That little face is just so amped to be here. “Thanks for inviting me into the world of the living, dudes, I’m tiny face Jack O’ Lantern.” I’m not trying to be bossy here, but as the one that gave this tiny fellow words and a message, I believe he should be voiced like Cartman from South Park. That is, if Cartman was a frog getting stepped on. So use that as your inspiration. “Hey guys, tiny face Jack O’ Lantern here again. My mouth is actually a slot for pumpkin seeds and pennies, heh heh- radical!” Yeah, making a Jack O’ Lantern is super intimidating and this person knew exactly how much they could handle. No less, no more. I love tiny face like he was my own son.
8. Lovin’ The Kanye In The Mirror
Even a personal pan pizza can be a feast if the table is set for one and there’s moody lighting. Especially when it’s for the person that loves you most — yourself. Nah, it’s not depressing. Think about how stoked Kanye would be to go on a date with Kanye; that’s an opportunity you only get when you win a radio contest. Treat yourself like you’re your own personal Kanye. As excited as you’d be to meet Kanye, be that excited to see yourself. Don’t be cocky though, there’s only room for one insane Kanye in this world. So that’s how you need to think of hanging out with yourself. It’s not dinner alone, it’s a dinner date with yourself. And you know who’s the best person to date? Yourself!
7. That Everyday Miracle
*When you pretend to be enjoying yourself and then you actually start to enjoy yourself*
When the roughest part is the beginning of faking it and then all the rest is gliding on making it? That’s what’s up. Sometimes you just have to put some good energy out there. Just trick yourself — it’s easier to lie to yourself than to people! Especially when it’s a nice lie. If you feel like you don’t have any good energy, scrounge between those spiritual couch cushions and pull out what you’ve got. Maybe it’ll turn up, maybe every “no” brings you closer to the eventual “yes.” Maybe you’ll be smiling in your dope blue collar with cute little brown markings that look like a second set of eyeballs by the end of the day.
6. It’s All Of Us
You know what this duck is feeling and I know what this duck is feeling. Life in a pond is so crazy. Dogs come, dogs go. Some dogs have it out for squirrels, some like chasing birds. Sometimes the old man brings crumbs of sourdough, sometimes it’s old pretzels. And then you see this beautiful little beak sticking out of the egg you’ve been sitting on for… months? Weeks? (how long does it take for a duck egg to hatch? Whatever) and it’s like wow, all this is worth it. And then your baby grows into a duckling and they’re swimming behind you and they’re just so cute. And then, all of a sudden, one day, they’ve grown into a big healthy duck. That’s the best feeling in the whole wide park.
5. Napping Anywhere
So squishy and perfect. Those little paws… they’re so pink and tiny. Who made those little things? Who could even make such a delicate, perfect little baby? Whoever took this picture and didn’t tuck the puppy in with that sheet of cheese as a blanket is a savage. This tiny baby puppy needs a blanket, and the world left him one, so be a human being and pick up that cheese and move it an inch. Ugh, who am I kidding; this picture is perfection. That puppy has his own adorable milk tummy to curl up with. Look at those ears — they’re too small to even be ears! That puppy is only a little bit bigger than his own pillow! Ugh, dogs make the Internet such a nice place.
4. When You’re Needed But You Just Need To Hear It
What goes up must come home. You might not know how much you mean to that cabbage, but you’re going to find out when he comes right back into your loving arms. Maybe you think you and cabbage are over and you’re going to take that job on the other side of the country, so you throw cabbage up in the air, far away. And what does he do? He finds the note you left and takes the first taxi to the airport and there, in front of everybody, he falls back into your arms or even whacks you in the head if you’re not paying attention. Because that’s how a cabbage shows affection. Gravity is the language of love for vegetables — you just need to listen.
3. Happy Accidents
I can’t attest to how the human who previously owned this shirt looked in it. I can, however, say with total confidence that they didn’t look nearly as good as this dog looks in it. Those buttons! Ugh, a dog with a little V-neck. It’s so unnecessary but it’s so nice this shirt has that option. That really does look like a terrific over shirt, especially if it’s all cozy and made of wool. I’d be sad to lose it, too. But one man’s trash is another dog’s adorable outfit. Ugh, that dog is like a L.L. Bean model, if L.L. Bean models had boop-able noses and little pink paw beans. So if they were better. Can someone put a little wool sailor costume in the drier? Yeah, high heat. I’ve got a plan.
2. When No One Listens To You
How much is this strange, dirty baton? I’d like to pay for it! Of course this nub of plastic is in the impulse aisle with the gum and candy, but it’s irresistible! No, don’t put it behind my Bell peppers. This very old baton with small, illegible ads on it. Stop it, don’t give it to that guy. I’m here to purchase it for my grocery store themed orchestra!
Anyway… that’s about all there is to say while pretending to be someone purchasing one of those check out dividers. You get it. But this is probably the most wholesome joke and it would make even an alien giggle if they got the context. Who am I kidding — aliens totally know about grocery store checkout dividers. They’re always watching us.
1. Not The Intended Result
Ugh, I love that this caption involves the phrase “my police car.” As if that’s relatable. Of course lots of people have police cars (they’re called the police — so there’s a helpful hint for you!), but the idea of having any jurisdiction over a police car, or any inclination to go near one, is just so alien. This probably doesn’t make any sense to people who actually know cops personally, which I clearly don’t. Anyway, this is adorable and what a gorgeous trick of the light. Also, if a person actually did finger draw a heart on a cop car — that’s the most wholesome prank I’ve ever seen. Is it even a prank if it’s just an improvement? Or is that just a type of note from a secret admirer? If you’re a cop and you have a secret admirer, is that just called a stalker?
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