Marrying into the Royal Family has proved to be a make or break move through the decades. Either you play the part well, follow all the protocols and traditions, and do everything they want you to do, or you don't. Either way, you have to answer to the Queen.
We all know that Diana had her struggles with the family because she didn't want to play the part. Reports about the princess and the Queen were not always good, and they had a lot of differing opinions.
Ultimately the expectations are high, and if you stray from the path that they walk, you're seen as an outsider. But how is Diana's daughter-in-law, Kate Middleton, doing as a royal, and is she doing better?
Diana Never Really Fit In With The Lifestyle
Right off the bat, Diana didn't seem to like the life of a princess. She felt lonely, isolated, and misunderstood. At the time, the Queen was sympathetic towards her, probably because she knew how it felt, but soon that sympathy started to wash away.
Soon enough, Diana's choices started to get attention and she was seen as rebellious in the press for not following protocol and conforming. Everything from the clothes she wore to the people she was friends with became a problem.
Her marriage to Prince Charles, once deemed suitable, was now on the rocks, and so Diana started to follow her own path. She started a lot of her charity work, and even though charity work is big in the family, the types of charities she chose were seen as risky.
She started to become the People's Princess, working with AIDS victims and fighting to have land mines removed. The Queen, who did appreciate a lot of Diana's work, wished she'd stick to more "pleasant" charities instead. Not to mention she was also outshining her husband which was a big problem and affected their marriage.
One of the biggest problems though was that Diana didn't follow the family's strict silence policy. Meaning the family talks to no one, especially reporters, and does not talk about the family or their lives.
Diana did just this when she participated in her biography Diana: Her True Story and came out publicly about her life as a royal. Next, she gave an interview with the BBC in 1995 and continued to talk to the press.
All of this plus the fact that Prince Charles was cheating, ultimately pushed the future King and Queen to divorce in 1996. A year later, just as she was getting her life back together, Diana was tragically killed in a car crash, leaving behind her two sons.
Prince William Marries Kate Middleton And The Similarities To Diana Start
When Prince William got engaged to Kate in 2010, the comparisons to Diana started to come in, and everyone thought she was going to be another People's Princess.
But the comparisons came a little too premature, as we didn't even really know how Kate would integrate into the family, or how she would be as a royal. We didn't really know much about her other than the fact that she was seen as a "commoner" just as Diana was.
The only thing that Diana and Kate have in common is the fact that they entered into the family as shy young women but the terms in which they entered were totally different. Diana was still a teenager when she got engaged to Charles, at the age of 19. Kate got engaged at 29.
Kate Is More Like The Queen Which Scored Her Brownie Points In The Family
Even though both women started off as being shy, they went on different paths to gain their confidence within the family. Shortly after William and Kate got married, it started to become obvious that Kate was more like William's grandmother than his mother.
"At the beginning, she was very keen to learn the ropes and look to others for guidance over what she should be doing and you could sense that," a royal author, Victoria Murphy said.
"But gradually she’s started to take the lead more and now it feels much more like she is a driving force when it comes to the types of causes she and William are taking on and the way they approach their work."
"I think she still remains more of a team player than a leader though and perhaps more of a listener than a talker, but I think these qualities are well-suited to her current and future roles."
No doubt this has helped Kate to be welcomed into the family a little better than her mother-in-law, but Murphy also believes that Kate is on good terms with the family because she shares a lot of similarities to the Queen.
"I’ve always thought that Kate has more in common personality-wise with the Queen; not an extrovert but quietly self-assured with a love of the outdoors and the ability to compartmentalize."
The fact that Kate is more of a team player is also key in the family. Kate and William have very similar personalities, and are "reliable and adaptable." Kate has more of an attitude of taking part but not focusing it on just her.
"It’s a hugely intense spotlight to be under and I think that the strength of their relationship and William’s support and guidance have been very important to Kate in forging her public role."
Ultimately both Kate and William are on the right path to becoming the future King and Queen. Kate and Diana are two completely different people who came into the family in separate circumstances. Sometimes royal life just doesn't suit some people, and we're even seeing that with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
Just because Kate gets on with her husband, the family, and especially the Queen, better than Diana ever did doesn't mean Diana's chosen path was wrong. In fact, she paved the way for a lot. There are plenty of royals that are different. Remember Prince Phillip wasn't exactly welcomed with open arms either.