A woman has invented the “world’s first homeopathic patch” to treat cramps, vertigo, and nausea.
And you wear it over your belly button.
Nicole Burdock is a licensed acupuncturist with a Masters in Oriental Medicine. When she was 8, both her parents became hospitalized with “undiagnosable illnesses”, which evidently convinced her to forgo traditional medicine in favor of natural, holistic, and integrative health practices.
That is to say homeopathy.
If you’ve never heard of homeopathy, a brief rundown. At the core of homeopathy is the belief that “like cures like”, so something that makes a healthy person sick will make a sick person healthy--but only in very small doses. A homeopath will take a natural ingredient and then dilute it in water or alcohol until it's practically not there, and then administer it to the patient.
An example of this would be a small vial containing a few milligrams of red onion to treat allergy symptoms--the idea being that onions make your eyes water, so if they’re already watery from ragweed, it’ll make the wateryness go away.
In actuality, it’ll make them more watery, but that’s neither here nor there. The placebo effect can often be more powerful than medicine, after all.
Anyway, Nicole invented a patch that takes homeopathy out of the world of tiny glass vials and into the world of anti-smoking patches. Only this patch is worn not on your arm but your belly button. There’s a belief here that the navel somehow absorbs nutrients since it used to be where an umbilical cord was.
It’s called the Go Patch, and it comes in two varieties: one to treat menstrual cramps and one to treat nausea. Each patch contains all-natural ingredients like calendula officinalis (marigold), chamomilla (chamomile), sepia (a type of cuttlefish) and tobacum (tobacco).
There are no reported side effects and Go Patch is rated by the FDA to be safe for children aged 4 and up. You can order yours now for $29.95 for a box of 5 patches and then walk around with a tiny amount of tobacco, flowers, and seafood slapped on your navel.