We learned something shocking this week. Whoopi Goldberg does not have eyebrows. We feel like we’ve been lied to. Yes, go look. It’s true. She doesn’t draw them on either. She’s just fully nude from eyeball to the hairline. It is shocking.
Apparently, Whoopi Goldberg has never had eyebrows.
Okay, we are being dramatic. Obviously, she was born with eyebrows, but she hasn’t had them in decades. Most people look like aliens without eyebrows, Whoopi just looks like Whoopi. That’s how long she hasn’t had eyebrows. Our brains are already used to processing it. While we aren’t sure what year Whoopi decided to shave her brows, there are photos of her without eyebrows going back to the 1980s.
Now that we’ve taken a moment in silence for Whoopi’s eyebrows, we have time to ponder the big question of why on Earth would she do that?
In a 2016 interview with VHI, Whoopi mentioned she doesn’t like facial hair and chose to shave them. We don’t think anyone other than Whoopi considers eyebrows as facial hair. Most people think facial hair consists of any hair passed the nose on the face like a beard or a mustache, not eyebrows. Whoopi never allowed them to grow back because she found it too irritating and itchy of a process.
It’s not unusual to hear this. Actors who’ve shaved off their eyebrows for rolls have said the same thing. We suppose it’s similar to when actors shave their heads for roles. There’s bound to be an awkward phase.
Why Do People Shave Off Their Eyebrows?
Usually, people who shave off their eyebrows are dragon queens or actors who want to save time before performances. Instead of using a glue stick and then foundation to cover their eyebrows before drawing on new ones, they can just draw on new ones. Based on how long it takes us to cover up a pimple, we imagine hiding eyebrows could be at least an hour's worth of work, or it might even be an hour per brow.
Some people shave off their eyebrows to have more fun with their makeup. Eyeshadow application generally stops once people hit their eyebrows. If someone doesn’t have eyebrows, well that’s way more room to play with eyeshadow. It also allows them to draw on their eyebrows. Every day they can decide the shape, width, and length of the brows to match their makeup look.
Why Are Eyebrows Important?
Why is the grass green? Why is the sky blue? Why do humans randomly have hair above their eyeballs? The first two we honestly have no idea, but the eyebrow one we can answer as the resident eyebrow expert. Humans have eyebrows to prevent things from falling into the eyes such as sweat and rain. It’s another safety precaution along with eyelashes and eyelids.
According to Science Focus eyebrows have taken another function in the past few years, “communication.” This brings up an excellent point. Eyebrows are a huge factor in facial expressions. How would we know if someone is inquisitive without raising an eyebrow?
When Whoopi shaved off her eyebrows, did it force her to become a better actor? It must have unless the director of the film tells the makeup department Whoopi’s character needs eyebrows.
Whoopi’s mainly done voice acting in the past few years. We thought it was due to her intense filming schedule for The View. Maybe it’s because most characters require an actress with two eyebrows? Let’s be real. Whoopi’s at the point in her career where she doesn’t have to audition for parts anymore. The directors who offer her a part know what they are in for and they are in for zero eyebrows.
Solutions
Honestly, with the number of tattoos Whoopi has, it’s a surprise she hasn’t gotten her eyebrows microbladed. For those that do not know about this process, allow us to change your life.
Microblading is a process of making eyebrows appear fuller by using tattoo ink that is a custom color to match the person’s hair. No, it’s not the horrible single line of tattoo eyebrows that people are familiar with. Microblading is a natural look. Most cannot even tell they had the process done. They just think the person was blessed with Cara Delevingne's eyebrows. Spoiler alert: no one is.
An old school option would be to use an eyebrow pencil to draw on eyebrows every day. Who has time to do this every day? Whoopi has a team of makeup artists; they can paint them on for her while she answers emails. It’s multitasking at its finest. However, since Whoopi has been rocking no brows for years now, she probably doesn’t care anymore. She must look back at photos of herself with two brows and wonder who that girl was. Little did that girl know someday she would be eyebrow-less.
We applaud Whoopi for this bold style choice. We honestly would never do it.