All parents can agree that raising children is not for the weak of heart and absolutely nothing like we expected. The love we have for these little beings is immense but all that love comes at the price of ridiculous expectations on how to raise a child, temper tantrums, and the realization that you have no idea what the hell you're doing.
Parenting changes you into someone who is solely responsible for the life of another being who can't fend for themselves which is simultaneously daunting and wonderful. It can also drive you more than a little nuts. If you're in the thick of it, you know what we mean.
Here are 9 hilarious, honest, and relatable stories from parents. These are mainly the startling realization of what your life is now and the day-to-day shenanigans kids cause.
9 For Better Or Worse
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"Nothing in my wedding vows prepared me for how much of our lives we would spend talking about the size and shape of our kids' poop."
Jennifer S. White, a writer and blogger, didn't know she was going to marry her husband and discuss poop so much after they had kids, but it happens. At least, you're both really interested so that's cute. Plus, we all know it's important information that needs to be shared. If your kid has an off poop, it needs to be addressed.
8 It's Only A White Lie
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"Wife: We should really keep track of all the lies we tell the kids
Wife: Well I just told them it was illegal to buy donuts if you're not wearing long sleeves, so...
Me: *in tank top, holding a donut* Yeah, that one might come back to bite us"
This is from Grumpy Twin Dad who is a grumpy man with twins, and someone who thinks its normal to eat donuts in all types of shirts. Oh, wait, that's everyone, at least that second part. White lies are necessary for survival in parenthood. It's important to keep your other half on board with what is real, and what is ridiculously not true. This doughnut one seems like it worked in a moment of need and it'll be important to keep up the charade until the kids forget about it.
7 This Is The Worst
"Finally got the 9-month-old to sleep. 2-year-old ripped the child proof door knob cover off the door, went into the room and woke her up.
Where do I give my notice?"
5kidsAndABunny experienced a moment anyone with more than one child will go through. One child wakes the one that needs sleep... and well, you can imagine the rest. You spend the rest of the day exhausted with a tired baby. Why are toddlers so curious? Why won't the baby just go to sleep easily? These are questions for the ages. You can't get mad at a toddler for wondering where the baby is when she's sleeping, but you can be annoyed when she wakes her up.
RELATED: 15 Kids Who Got Their Sassy Pants On
"6yo: Daddy, what begins with F and ends with K?
Yes, that's the word I was thinking of, too."
Kids are so innocent! This kid had no idea what his father thought. Writer Dave Kane gets points for not blurting out the other famous word that starts with F and ends with K because we may have. Way to play it, cool dad. When kids are just learning to spell and understand letters, they're so excited to show off what they know – even if it sounds questionable at first.
5 We've All Thought Of It... Briefly
"If you truly love something, set it free. Unless it's a toddler. Because that's just a terrible idea really."
Oh, Jack's Dad, how we wish they could be set free at times. But only temporarily and safely. And for free. Is this a thing yet? It should be. This is funny because obviously, you could never free your toddler, but the idea is quite tempting. There are only so many tantrums and questions a person can deal with and answer before you reach a wall. But just breathe. Their brain is so undeveloped emotionally that we cannot expect them to be reasonable. That is the reason they are so darn cute.
4 Bye Bye Sleep
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How many times you as a #mom feel like you are going to #collapse ? Your baby, toddler, or preschooler is just full of #energy and #resistant to #sleep. Along with #nightwakings #earlyrise sometimes before the #sun is out. #poor naps and being #fussy. All factors are just against you having proper #schedule and #routine. Ruining your #plans and list to do. You feel you are behind and overwhelmed. Dont worry anymore and contact us to settle everything for you. We do provide #daily #routine, sleeptraining, with follow up and #support. #gentlesleepcoach for #mom and dad will just make you #enjoy #life and be a #happy #fresh #family in few days. You do deserve a happy #motherhood while being well rested. Being a #tiredmom may reflect on your #child and provoke post partum #depression. Together we can be a #team and have #goals to settle things right 🌹❤️💤💤💤💤💤 #sleepstarlet
"Whoever wrote the line, “easy like Sunday morning” obviously didn’t have children.
#parenting #momlife #whyaretheysoloud"
Real Life Mama, Melissa Beagley, is keeping it real. Kids really are so loud, especially when you don't want them to be, like on a Sunday morning – or anytime really. Did we mention that you're really tired, like super tired, raising kids? The little animals have so much energy, we wish we could bottle it and drink it for breakfast. There is no such thing as an easy Sunday morning with some crazy kids running around.
"My favorite childhood memory is not having to do 15 loads of laundry a week."
Mumsnet had this gem and made us nostalgic for a simpler time. A time where the dirty clothes of multiple people depend on you to be washed because laundry really never ends. But really the worst part of laundry is folding it and putting it away. That step takes so long and is never appreciated by anyone. They just end up throwing them all over the floor anyway! No respect.
2 But They're Kid Friendly!
"At what point should you worry about your drinking? I bet it's before your kid builds a Lego brewery."
This one is too funny! Should Northern Lights be worried? Nah. Her kids just have such fond memories of the breweries. They have toys and outdoor space to enjoy. They are way different from bars. People don't typically go to get drunk, they go to try beer. Breweries are fine places to take your kids. Just make sure you watch them and bring some toys and snacks!
1 And That's How It's Done
"2yo played in her room while I got dressed this morning. I took a peek in at her to make sure she was ok and noticed the entire room smelled like crap. Quietly closed the door and yelled for my husband to check on her. And that ladies is how you assert your dominance."
A Twitter user named Marissa showed us the ultimate power move. Really a genius move because no one wants to clean up a ton of poop first thing in the morning that isn't your own. So it may as well be anyone but you! Dad won't know anyway if you saw it first. Odds are that Melissa has dealt with most of the poop and knows how unpleasant it can be. Dad's turn!