TheThings.com

Humble? What's That? (21 Posts)

These people may think the sun revolves around them, but they're in for a rude awakening

One thing I’ve noticed in all the years of being on social media is that there’s a lot of people that like to brag or are, in general, full of themselves. I personally feel it's human nature to brag a bit about one’s accomplishments; I certainly shared with my friends the proud moment when I learned that I had completed my first certificate with the online dog training school I signed up with back in December because I put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get to that point.

Then there are people like some of the ex-friends I used to know from belly dance classes. I swear, some of them thought the sun revolved around them — everything was “me, me, me” and they’d never ask how anyone was; it was always a constant promotion of THEIR shows, THEIR cool new costume that cost a cool $1,000, etc.

After a while, there was only so much egocentrism that I could take and since I stopped taking belly dance classes (because I got into running), I unfriended them and breathed a sigh of relief when I didn’t have to deal with their high-and-mighty attitudes any longer.

Between some of the snooty people I met at belly dance class and some of the people in the examples below, it really is a tie as to who could win the award for “Most Arrogant Person On Social Media.”

21 She Stole The Secret Ingredient For The Krabby Patty

Via: Imgur

I completely understand trying to cut creepy guys off before they try to ask for a date, but this lady was a little TOO quick to try and deflect the guy that took this photograph. What if he wanted to ask for a pen because his ran out or something? Talk about rude!

I’m also baffled as to how she had a piece of lettuce in her hair and didn’t notice it AT ALL. I can’t speak for anyone else, but even with my mass of wild waves and curls, my scalp is EXTREMELY sensitive. If a leaf from a tree falls onto my hair, I feel it and need it off ASAP because it’s SO irritating.

I cannot fathom how she didn’t notice that there was something in her hair and I’d love to know how it got there in the first place. Did Plankton from SpongeBob SquarePants try to bribe her into stealing the secret ingredient for the Krabby Patty at the Krusty Krab? Maybe it was when she had to make a run for it when Eugene H. Krabs opened the restaurant that morning?

Or does she REALLY hate lettuce and tossed it out when she spotted it in her sandwich, but a gust of wind blew it onto her head? Inquiring minds want to know!

20 Honesty Is The Best Policy

Via: Facebook

I won’t lie, I giggled a bit when I saw this tweet because it takes either a ton of courage, sheer desperation, or someone that is totally full of themselves to send a “resume” like this to a potential employer.

Between the Hotmail email address (I don’t even know of a single person amongst my social circle that still uses it anymore, everyone switched to Gmail) and the fact that they put “IDK” under “work experience,” I’m shocked that @Jennieology didn’t just pass out from laughing so hard.

It's people like Jennifer who I think should be give a chance though. These are the kind of people I would want to meet. I may not offer them the job or really even respect them as a hard worker, but to have the balls to send something like this when you're looking for a job... I mean, I gotta meet the lady! The whole office has to meet her!

I hope whoever submitted this hilarious “resume” never stumbles on @Jennieology’s tweet; otherwise they are going to melt into a puddle of embarrassment when they see that their half-hearted job hunting attempt has turned them into a laughing stock. Then again, what else did she expect when she sent something like this in.

19 Ah, Sibling Relationships

Via: Facebook

I love how @Davdanielson tried to make himself seem as if he is the best and most caring brother of all time by buying his sister teddy bears and chocolate when she was upset because some guy dumped her or simply wasn’t treating her right, but he got trolled by this Twitter user who revealed that her brother used to practice wrestling moves on her.

I laughed SO HARD at how contradicting both sibling stories are. Seeing "He used to practice WWE moves on me" reminds me of when my little sister was a kid and used to throw temper tantrums.

One time she kicked me in the stomach the day after Thanksgiving because she didn’t want to get up off of the couch to get a slice of pumpkin pie and I refused to go get it for her when she had her own two legs. It sounds like both the WWE brother and my sister had a penchant for using their siblings as punching bags when they felt the need to work out by practicing their kickboxing or wrestling moves.

This series of tweets pretty much sums up every sibling relationship ever. Whenever one tries to puff themselves up with importance over how kind they are, without fail, the other will ALWAYS be there to pull them down into reality.

18 Hipster Toddler Alert

Via: Instagram/@MoistBuddha

Oh gosh, this poet’s son sounds as if he is a hipster in training. I feel SO sorry for this poor kid and I hope he rebels to become a butt-kicking punk rocker or goth kid. Trust me, I live in Brooklyn and have seen first hand the damage the hipsters do to communities when they gentrify neighborhoods in my neck of the woods and it is not pretty.

Besides, there is NO WAY that her son had the cognitive abilities required to utter such a profound sentence; most kids at that age don’t talk like some kind of precocious and stuffy English professor.

I’m so glad that @Jack_McGarry99 called @HinxMinx out on her nonsense and her attempt to garner attention towards herself. Sorry girl, but at that age, there’s no way in heck that your toddler is talking like he just recently devoured all of J.R.R. Tolkien’s work and it is more likely that he’s talking about dinosaurs or Sesame Street, like every other 3-year-old.

Some kids can be precocious at that age, but I’d wager that @HinxMinx exaggerated what her son said to her about books in order to get more likes and retweets on Twitter. And honestly, is it worth it?

17 Richie Rich Gives Him Two Thumbs Up

Via: Instagram/@MoistBuddha

I literally tilted my head like an inquisitive dog and muttered to myself “WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING HECK?”

I have so many questions about this photo and it drives me up a wall that we didn’t get more about this story.

I’d LOVE to know why this dude got banned from the stadium. Is he one of those super fans that gets really aggressive whenever his team wins or loses? If so, I could totally imagine a brawl starting and security kicking this guy out, hence the ban.

I have to give this dude major props though; he didn’t let a silly thing like a BAN from a stadium stop him from cheering his favorite sports team on. I have no idea how or where he even rented a crane (or even got the money to do so, those things are probably ridiculously expensive), but he did so and managed to still cheer his team on.

He’s pretty smart — he’s not technically IN the stadium since he’s sitting on the crane and thus not violating the year-long ban, but he’s still in the audience. If this dude was sorted into one of the Hogwarts Houses, I have no doubts that the Sorting Hat would put him into Slytherin without any kind of hesitation.

16 Talk About Being Cold-Blooded

Via: Facebook

Anyone else get the feeling that this kid is going to grow up to be the next Neil DeGrasse Tyson? Most children that age don’t tend to question the existence of the Tooth Fairy. I don’t remember a lot from my childhood, but by the age of nine I had pretty much figured out that the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist and just asked my parents for money every time I lost a tooth, which they obliged.

Heck, I found out that the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist at a MUCH younger age. I knew that after I pretended to take a nap when a tooth fell out when I was visiting my aunt’s house and I felt someone (most likely my aunt) shove three dollars underneath the pillow I was sleeping on.

This kid though seemed like he was DETERMINED to prove his parents wrong. I can’t help but admire the fact that he used the scientific method on his parents and presented them with proof that the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real.

I would have loved to have seen their reactions to his theory. Did they laugh and try to fake him out again or did they just grin sheepishly and own up to the fact that they were the ones that have been putting money under his pillow all along?

15 Celine Dion Is Singing In The Background

Via: Facebook

This entire conversation makes me just want to laugh for days. Between the original poster that is determined to show off their oh-so-artistic photos and the “Leonardo DiCaprio” response, I lost it when I spotted this conversation.

I won’t lie, I am a bit suspicious that these photos were taken with a mere Smartphone, but I suppose it is certainly within the realm of possibility. It’s a pretty photo, but I wouldn’t be shocked if they snapped this with a professional camera and sent the photos to their phone so that they could upload them to social media.

Regardless of whether or not the photographer really did use their phone, I’m CRYING at the person that didn’t realize that it was LEONARDO DA VINCI, NOT LEONARDO DICAPRIO.

Did they fall asleep in art history class when the teacher covered Renaissance painters? Leonardo DiCaprio was the actor that played Jack Dawson in Titanic and fought off a bear in The Revenant while Leonardo Da Vinci was the Renaissance painter that was responsible for creating the Mona Lisa. Just how on earth did they manage to confuse the two, or was it autocorrect? Either way, this is just one heck of a funny fail.

14 People On That Bus Are In For A Show

Via: Facebook

I gasped when I spotted this Facebook post because I just KNOW that when the poor woman tried to get up from her seat, she was going to realize that this dude tied her hair to the chair and a screaming match would likely go down.

The fact that he did all of this because the lady in question didn’t say “Excuse me” is so ridiculous. One of the first rules of public transportation is that you take up as little space as possible so that you don’t get jostled.

Sadly, I see people breaking that unspoken rule ALL THE TIME on the subway or on the buses. There are people sprawled out like they are at home on the couch watching television and it is SO RUDE to do something like that when people are trying to squeeze into a tight, cramped space to get from point A to point B.

Sure, perhaps that lady should have said “Excuse me” when she was trying to get into the seat but he should have seen her moving in his direction and pulled his legs in. Tying her hair to the bus seat is just adding more insults into the mix and it’s such a rude move.

13 Baby Boomers Trying To Hop On The Bandwagon Is Always Amusing

Via: Instagram/@Memezar

Ah, Baby Boomers. It’s always so entertaining when they want to be like the younger crowd and try to jump onto the bandwagon with “hip” trends such as selfies.

I’m giggling SO HARD at how this older gentleman thought that his wife would like such a boring selfie. My dude, I hate to break it to you, but this is NOT how selfies work.

I thought it was bad when my mom had a few sips of champagne one New Year’s Eve and wanted to take a selfie inside of the dogs’ ex-pen, but this takes the cake. At least my mom’s idea was rather funny, and a bit embarrassing for all of our mutual Facebook friends that had to witness such a ridiculous selfie.

This guy’s attempt is just downright pitiful — he’s barely even smiling in the photo! C’mon dude, put some effort into it. At least make an effort to smile and find a better background, jeez. It's no wonder his wife didn’t seem enthused about this photo. She was probably rolling her eyes to high heaven when she saw her husband making a fool out of himself on his new smartphone and regretting ever letting him get his hands on one.

12 Pizza Delivery Drivers Are The Real MVPs

Via: Facebook/@Funny Memes

I'm not going to lie, I snorted at this pizza delivery person trying to make his job sound more exciting and high-flying than it is.

Sorry my dude, but there’s no way you can try to “spruce up” the job description, although I give them credit for at least attempting it when they were trying to impress the person they were texting with.

That being said, it’s pretty sad that they felt shame for working as a delivery driver for Domino’s and felt the need to try and bluff their way out of admitting it to whoever they were talking to. Delivery drivers deserve just as much respect, if not more, as the CEOs or the senior executives of high-flying companies.

These delivery drivers—whether it's for Domino’s Pizza or a Mom-and-Pop shop like my local diner—are working long, hard hours no matter the weather.

The last time we had a snowpocalypse here in NYC, I saw the local delivery drivers slog through MOUNDS of snow and risking getting into a car accident just to do their jobs. I didn’t have to order takeout that night, but if I did, I would’ve tipped the poor driver VERY well because they are truly unsung heroes.

11 So Arrogant The Ancient Greek Gods Are Side-Eying Him

Via: Instagram/@thearchbish0pofbanterbury

Oh gosh, the arrogance practically OOZED from the screen after I read this tweet and I was so freaked out that I was tempted to jump into the shower to wash off the smarmy tweet.

It sounds like @Herbs1996 has a VERY high opinion of his comedic talents.

Dude…no. It's NEVER a good look to come off as so full of one’s self. No one likes a braggart, especially on social media.

Hasn’t @Herbs1996 EVER read ANY ancient Greek literature when he was in school? Clearly not, otherwise he would have known that the ancient Greeks LOVED stories and plays that revolved around arrogant people getting their comeuppance, because the Gods of Olympus despised people that were holier-than-thou and too big for their britches.

If @Herbs1996 isn’t careful, Zeus might get so sick of his bragging on Twitter that he sends a few lightning bolts his way or he decides to be subtle about it and sends a few people to troll the heck out of him on social media.

Heck, I will admit that I am flabbergasted that no one saw this post on Instagram and tried to track down the original poster to take him down a notch or two.

10 He's Wondering If You Can Even Lift, Bro

Via: Instagram/@Thearchbish0pofbanterbury

Whoever was commenting on @Aallz’s Snapchat CLEARLY has no sense of humor and needs to take a remedial reading comprehension course, since the joke went right over his head. I facepalmed SO HARD when I saw that he missed the fact that she was trying to be funny about the fact that her leggings matched the machine (hence the camo) and all I could hear in my head was Equinox trainer, Raneir Pollard, making fun of the gym bros during the 30-minute Tabata workout he hosted on POPSUGAR Fitness’ YouTube channel.

It would have been AMAZING if @Aallz trolled this guy by asking “Do you even lift, bro?” Then again, considering his sense of humor (or lack thereof), he’d probably miss the joke and go on and on about he’s better at working out than her.

Why some people feel the need to put down other gym goers by bragging about how they won powerlifting competitions or how their legs are 18 inches around, I’ll never understand. Like…good for you, but going to the gym isn’t a competition, it’s a place for people to go and exercise. This isn’t a reality television show where people are competing to see who has better legs, so calm down.

9 Even Pepe Le Pew Has Better Manners

Via: Facebook/@Dank Memeology

I’m torn between laughing hysterically at this brazen fool and side-eying the living daylights out of him.

On one hand, that pick-up line was so pathetic I had to laugh. Did he REALLY think that telling someone that he doesn’t even KNOW that he got dumped because he liked too many of her pictures is going to make her go “Ooo-la-la, this is the guy for me?”

It is far more likely that she just rolled her eyes and hit delete without even replying to his message.

Goodness knows I got plenty of those stupid, cheesy pickup lines back when I was single and on dating websites. I usually laughed and hit delete. Every so often if it was especially cheesy, I’d screenshot the facepalm worthy pickup lines and text it or Facebook message it to my friends so that they too could get a good chuckle.

But I’m also side-eying this dude too for the “That means you’re my girl now” line and demanding her number. Just no. That is not how you treat people and I hope that the poor woman gave him a good verbal thrashing that he’ll never forget. Maybe next time he’s interested in someone, he won’t message a lady acting like Charming from the Shrek movie.

8 James Cameron, He Is Not

Via: Facebook/@DankMemeology

How @LaRondayyy didn’t start cracking up in the middle of her date’s video when he was bragging to all his friends on social media is something I’ll never understand. Her willpower must be so strong if she didn’t burst out laughing right then and there. Who did this guy think he was, James Cameron? Or did he watch Richie Rich one too many times as a kid and thought that emulating that character would help him win the hearts of women everywhere?

I’m also raising my eyebrow at the guy’s boasts because didn’t ANYONE watching the video look at the time and realize that the reason that the theater was empty was due to the fact that it was late? Or realize that it’s not possible to rent out the theater all to yourself?

My local movie theater has a separate space for children’s birthday parties, but as far as I know, there has to be a minimum amount of people attending the event and they certainly wouldn’t let just two people rent out the theater on a whim.

I wonder if @LaRondayyy stayed for the whole movie or left in disgust after that Snapchat video, but I’d wager a guess and say that they did NOT have a second date after he pulled that stunt.

7 Epic Snapchat Fail

Via: Facebook/@DankMemeology

I’m sure in this guy’s head he was thinking “Hmmm, I could try to message ALL of the ladies on Snapchat and have my pick,” but his little plan to be a ladies’ man failed miserably. He must have been utterly mortified when he realized that he accidentally started a huge group chat amongst the ladies he was trying to impress and that no one would take him seriously after this faux pas.

@SpringBreak2005 must have cracked up when she saw that; I know I would’ve been rolling if I was in her shoes.

It's too bad she didn’t screenshot what was being said in the massive group chat; I’m sure some of the ladies were confused by what was going on, while others were just cackling once they realized what had happened.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they started poking fun at the guy at some point in the chat.

Does anyone else get the impression that this dude must have been so humiliated that his stunt failed, that he went around campus the next semester constantly wearing a hat so that none of the women he tried to snap would recognize him? They'd laugh about what he tried to pull on social media in front of their friends no matter what semester it was, to be honest.

6 Example A Of Kids These Days Growing Up Too Fast

Via: Facebook/@Dank Memeology

I won’t lie, it boggles my mind that kids today are hopping onto social media at younger and younger ages. I can’t help but side-eye @Manuqzx’s parents so hard for letting their daughter post photos like this on social media, but maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

When I was a teen back in the ‘90s, I did have an AIM profile but I mainly posted about my love for Hanson and had to deal with the trolls that liked to try and fake out Fansons by pretending to be Isaac, Taylor, or Zac.

The whole “tweens trying to pose for selfies like they’re a supermodel” thing just baffles me because at that age, I was more concerned about collecting the latest boy-band posters from Tiger Beat and purchasing the latest Hanson merchandise.

Things sure have changed rapidly since the ‘90s and it just boggles my mind.

I did snicker a bit when @JackedYoTweets posted the line about Santa Claus though. This entire Twitter post made me want to bash my head against the wall, but I’m glad someone else out there in the world thinks it is so ridiculous that these tweens are trying to be so grown-up at such a young age.

5 Creepers Have The Patience Of A Big Cat On The Hunt

Via: Facebook/@DankMemeology

Maybe it is just me, but I assumed that the reason why the girl claimed she was 14 years old is to get this creepy dude off her back. It's certainly possible that she really was underage, but I’ve also heard stories of women lying about their age to avoid the skeevy guys.

Whether she was telling the truth or simply fibbing to get this guy to stop messaging her on Facebook, he was seriously persistent. Why he thought that waiting a few years would make ANY difference is beyond me.

It's SO CREEPY that he waited until she was 18 years old to ask again if she wanted to be his partner. Like dude, MOVE ON. It’s been SEVERAL years! What makes you think that you’re so remarkable that she would want to wait for you to ask her out?

I’m also freaked out by the fact that he appears to be WAY older than her. He’s lucky that she didn’t get skeeved out by his creepy message and block him as soon as she was done telling him that she was underage; I hope after the message he sent her right after her birthday that she blocked him and reported him to Facebook.

4 Stupid Cupid, You're A Real Mean Guy

Via: Facebook/@DankMemeology

Ahhh, the copy-and-paste pickup line routine. So cheesy and so full of fail; I remember when I was single and on dating websites, I could ALWAYS tell if a dude had copied and pasted a message or if he actually took the time out to type up a message to me. I usually ignored the messages that were a copy-and-paste job and would chat with the ones that actually took the time to compose something thoughtful.

I did get a good chuckle out of the fact that he was SO SURPRISED that he sent the message as a group chat instead of individually. Just wow, dude. WOW.

How did he not realize that it was a MASS CHAT instead of individual messages? Was he half asleep when he tried to chat these poor women up? Did he take a melatonin supplement before going to bed the night before and still felt a little drowsy when he woke up? There really is no other explanation for his butterfingers.

It’s even funnier knowing he tried to do this to 39 WOMEN IN TOTAL and I’m grateful one of them screenshotted this message so that the entire world can enjoy the laughter they got from this epic fail.

3 He Believes He Can Fly, He Believes That He Can Touch The Sky

Via: Facebook/@DankMemeology

One thing that has always bugged me about social media is the couples that feel the need to post SO MANY CHEESY POSED “LOVEY-DOVEY” photos like this one. I tend to scroll right past it, but I don’t get it. Selfies with one’s significant other make sense; I’ve taken a few with my partner, but I don’t see the appeal of posing for stupid romantic pictures. It just seems tacky and forced in my humble opinion, especially since all of the couples that I know that do this have a tendency to break up.

I got a big kick out of @Sadferrari’s sassy response to the melodramatic photo, although I must confess that I’m a bit surprised that he didn’t also make a snarky remark about how it looks as if @DowlingAvery’s partner was flying or at the very least levitating off of the ground.

I'm not going to lie, that was the first thing I noticed and I just had the mental image of the two of them recreating the scene from The Craft when Nancy and her friends were chanting “light as a feather, stiff as a board.” Now THAT would’ve made for a hilarious (and far more interesting) photo!

2 Someone Hasn't Read #MillennialProblems

Via: Facebook/@DankMemeology

Perhaps it is a bit petty of me, but I side-eyed @Nataliamk8’s Twitter post SO HARD because generally in America, the legal age for teenagers to start working at places like the grocery store or in retail shops like TJ Maxx, are 16.

It's far more likely that they worked the usual tween/teenager jobs, such as baby-sitting or dog walking, and their parents helped them purchase a place. Houses nowadays are expensive, and there is NO WAY that two teenagers could have afforded to buy one on their own. There's just no way.

Sure, the photo seems to be taken in a more rural or suburban area where the houses aren’t going for millions of dollars the way they are in New York City or trendy cities in California, but this story still seems WAY too good to be true and pings my lie-o-meter.

I’d bet five bucks that the truth of the matter is that they saved up some money from working on jobs and one (or both) of their parents is affluent, so they helped their kids out by pitching in to help them buy the house. In a time where pretty much EVERYONE—including Millennials and Generation Z—are struggling to even make rent, I think their pants are going to catch fire soon from fib.

1 He's Plotting To Burn All Of Her Makeup

Via: Facebook/@DankMemeology

There is nothing funnier than someone trying to brag on social media getting BURNED by the very person they were trying to include in their bragging. I will admit that if I didn’t know any better, I don’t think I would’ve picked up on the fact that @Liljcw’s partner @Ewpre was annoyed. If anything, he just looks disinterested and bored in the two photos that she posted on Twitter.

Although I won’t lie, I almost fell over when @Ewpre set the record straight and announced to the entire Internet that it took TWO HOURS for @Liljcw to get ready. I thought my little sister was bad...I takes her a full hour to get dressed and put on her makeup, which is something that has always baffled me.

My partner likes to joke that I take forever to get ready, but in truth, I’m nowhere near as bad as my sister.

My “getting ready to go out” routine usually consists of washing my face, putting on some makeup (I tend to stick to light face powder, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara) and putting on my outfit; I usually only take 20 or 30 minutes instead of the full hour (or two) my sister takes.

I certainly would NEVER take two hours to get ready and it boggles my mind that ANYONE could waste that much time on putting on makeup. It's no wonder @Ewpre was furious, I would be too if I was in his shoes.

Sources: Instagram, Facebook, Imgur, Pinterest

Give TheThings a Thumbs up!

Looking for an AD FREE EXPERIENCE on TheThings?

Get Your Free Access Now!

More in Facepalm

Humble? What's That? (21 Posts)