Jennette McCurdy has spoken up in the past about her abusive childhood. Her late mother Debra McCurdy was the source for much of her self-doubt and brainwashed way of thinking.
In her most recent podcast episode of Empty Inside, she discussed the common thread between verbally abusive parents with author Lea Waters.
First Sleepover At 21
McCurdy gave her listeners' a place to connect on toxic patterns they experienced growing up, specifically involving their moms. She and psychologist Lea Waters mentioned how their mom would insult their bodies, down to the most specific details.
The child actress said, "There must be something with moms, with moms and bangs because my mom always told me my face was too round for bangs. She said don't get bangs, it'll make your face rounder!"
She also mentioned that the control within her family's dynamic trickled into multiple facets, including homeschooling and her young entering into acting. That career eventually supported her parents' livelihood without her having a voice in the matter.
Many child actors like McCurdy come from an upbringing of parents who impose their own wants onto their children. The term "living vicariously" puts it mildly, as she and other stars experienced years of manipulation.
Waters explained that what others might only see as harsh comments, behind closed doors turn out to be psychological abuse and constant shaming.
'I Miss My Mom'
Their conversation only became rawer from there as they described the complex battle between loving their mothers and resenting them.
McCurdy's mom passed away from cancer in 2013. During the podcast, she opened up about a recent moment in which she felt a striking ache of missing her.
"I went, 'Oh my God I miss my mom so much.' I said it out loud to my partner. I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes got watery...What will immediately happen then is I'll feel that she doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve for me to feel this way toward her."
Her articulation was clearly painful and simultaneously self-aware. She still gets confused by the duel between sadness and anger for what she was put through at such a young age.
The false performance of that "white picket fence" life hid the inner torment that she has since revealed to her fans.