Okay, admit it, no matter how anti-pop culture you think you are, there are some celebrity couples you just love to see pictures of. What can you do, right? Cynics and romantics alike can’t help but think, “oh, I hope it works out for them,” when they see two people together who just seem to be absolutely perfect for each other. Maybe we don’t know celebrities on an intimate level, but we base our hopes for successful love on what do know, and apparently that’s not the best way of thinking. Why? Because it appears to be the case that, no matter how perfect we might think a celebrity couple we think we know is, they almost always break up and leave us wondering if we ourselves will ever stand a chance at finding love.
15. Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards
Zayn and Perrie were everything the ‘perfect’ couple of today could hope to achieve. They were kind, caring, and together an absolutely stunning pair. On top of that, they were both from pop groups, and effectively had all the superfans aged 9-15 swooning over pop’s newest power couple. Perrie coming from Little Mix, Zayn coming from One Direction (RIP), they totally should have understood each other since they were basically living the same lives! Not to mention they were engaged so there had to have been something of substance there. Unfortunately, a few surface level similarities are usually not enough to keep a healthy relationship afloat, despite good chemistry, and yes, even when you think it’s so good you’ve agreed to tie the knot. But the real moral of the story is: if you’re gonna do it, don’t get your significant other’s face tattooed on your body until you are married (looking at you, Zayn).
14. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon
Okay, at first I was very skeptical about this pair. Mariah Carey is one of the most aloof stars out there, while Nick Cannon is, like his name suggests, kind of a loose cannon in relation to his humour and antics. Not to mention, they each are attractive in different ways: Mariah with her bombshell, yeah I know I’m beautiful looks, and Nick with his cute funny guy flare. But after a while in the public eye, everyone didn’t just get used to the pair, we loved them. They just seemed to balance each other out in all the right ways. ‘Seemed’ is the key word there because evidently their relationship wasn’t balanced enough. Mariah was just too much woman for Nick (sorry, we can’t imagine it the other way around).
13. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
Bennifer 2.0 (RIP Bennifer 1.0 a la that one music video yacht scene) were always pretty cutesy on the surface, and the public liked it that way. Jennifer Garner has that cute but sexy, unassuming thing going on while Affleck has (or should I say ‘had’) the lovable dope thing going for him. They had children, attended events together, did the whole ‘married with a family’ thing for 10 years, but then something snapped. Actually, as it turns out, it wasn’t really a snap at all. The couple had mutually resented each other a bit for 10 years, what with his addiction and cheating scandals and her growing lack of sympathy. Eventually, she finally called the quits when information surfaced that Affleck was having an affair with their nanny. Oh Ben, couldn’t you have tried a little harder not to be such a cliche?
12. Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron
As High School Musical says, “We’re all in this together!” Except the actors who played the lead roles…in real life. Man, sometimes real life really blows. Middle school me was so excited when it was announced that the real life Gabriella and Troy had gotten together. My head buzzed with vapid questions like, “would he give her a ‘T’ necklace or a ‘Z’ one?” and “do they randomly break out into love ballads in their non-fictional relationship too?” There was so much to discover, so much to hope for as everyone’s favourite childhood fictional couple explored young adulthood together. But then this fantasy that we all got to indulge in disappeared right before our eyes as Zanessa was no more. Now we all wish they had just stuck to the status quo.
11. Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake
Say it with me now everyone, “long live the Britney x Justin’s matching 2001 AMA’s ensemble.” Alternatively, if that’s too much of a mouthful, just cry in remembrance. Another classic pop power couple, the pair’s arguably most memorable moment was stepping foot on the red carpet for the American Music Awards all the way back in the early 2000s (where fashion went to die) in full denim-on-denim outfits, plus the added bonus of Britney’s bedazzled choker and Justin’s chain (too cool for us) and aviator sunglasses (at night, of course). The pieces-de-resistance were most certainly Britney’s denim clutch and Justin’s denim cowboy hat, as if to really emphasize, “yeah, that’s right we’re going full denim.” While Justin’s current significant others seems to be a much better match, and Britney seems to be rocking the single mom life, one thing can be said for certain: no celebrity couple will ever outdo their classic red carpet look.
10. Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling
It’s pretty easy to say that the fact the actors who played the couple who pretty much gave us all faith in love eventually broke up was heartbreaking. The adorable pair of The Notebook fame (among other things, but who’s counting) actually met on set for the film, a classic and favourite kind of Hollywood love story. Even more enticing is the fact that they hated each other when they were filming The Notebook, even getting in screaming matches over small disagreements like how Rachel wanted to play her character. I mean who doesn’t love a friends-to-lovers romance?! And their onstage kiss after they won Best Kiss at the Teen Choice Awards in 2005? Come on. If you didn’t think these two were one of the cutest celeb pairs ever, we have some discussing to do and some videos to watch. Now, time to watch The Notebook and reminisce over what once was (although both stars said their relationship was even more romantic, so really it’s just time to cry).
9. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
Honestly, this one probably hurt me the most. Even before they starred in Amazing Spiderman together the two were separately some of the cutest, funniest, and most genuine celebrities out there. So of course the public fell in love with the two of them together, as their’s was so obviously a wholly unstaged romance. They even used their fans’ obsession with them, which resulted in even more paparazzi following them around throughout their everyday lives, to spread fun, joy, and meaningful messages. Once example that stands out is the occasion pictured, featuring the pair holding two signs which state that, since they knew the paparazzi would be there, they wanted to use the platform to advocate for some good causes. I’m sure they had their valid reasons for breaking up, but, considering how all-around wonderful they were together, I hope they know they are certainly missed.
8. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick
The split between reality stars Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian came as quite a shock, especially since almost every second of their personal lives is documented for anyone with a t.v. or access to the internet to see. Their romance was documented over years of the Kardashians and viewers ate up the two’s strange kind of love. Add in a few kids and for a while they were the only consistent family unit on their show Keeping Up with the Kardashians. But then the illusion was shattered as Kourtney left Scott and Scott’s antics became public knowledge. On the show, he was adored for his humourously ‘savage’ comments, but it turned out that side of his personality wasn’t all fun. Now he might as well take the first ‘i’ and the ‘s’ out of his name as the public moves on from the mourning period for what once was.
7. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber
Ugh, really? Is it just an unspoken agreement that every pop star pair eventually meets its demise? I didn’t even like Justin Bieber and yet I wanted these two to work. They just seemed kind of right for each other. Both singers, both attractive, both having hoards of preteen fans. Do relationships actually need more than that to survive? Based on the Perrie Edwards and Zayn Malik split, it certainly appears to be the case. So this means my undying love for Chris Evans purely based on his looks…could be invalid. Honestly, I don’t even know what to think anymore. What I do know is that Selena Gomez’s (second) breakup anthem to be released post-Bieber, “Same Old Love,” proves that her relationship with him really wasn’t as cutesy as it looked. But hey, at least Bieber’s legions of fans have that little bit of hope back that maybe one day they’ll marry him.
6. Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert
The royal couple of country music was officially no more as of last year and oh boy was it ever disheartening. I don’t even like country music, despite having grown up in the southern United States, but seeing those two together made my heart melt. Sure, conventional attractiveness-wise, Miranda was out of Blake’s league, but it’s the 21st-century, we’re supposed to be looking beyond, well, looks. These two were connected on a deeper level, both sharing a kind heart and a loyalty to their families and hometowns (as per most country music stars), and together they shined, or so we all thought. The reasoning behind their split is still fuzzy. Whether it be cheating on either or end or Miranda’s refusal to have a baby, we can at least find solace in the face that they’re still on good enough terms to work on a song together.
5. Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy
Yes, this breakup was technically between two fictional characters, but if you grew up watching the show and such classic films as Muppets in Space, it feels real enough to hurt…a lot. Not to mention, this particular breakup really shows how shamelessly ruthless Hollywood is when grabbing at publicity. With the relaunch of a sitcom featuring the muppets, some heartless person in charge of PR decided to rob us of our favourite frog/pig pair purely to get the topic, and thus the muppets, trending. Now Kermit is already with a new woman, who’s also a pig nonetheless, and I really want to riot. Miss Piggy JUST finally got her dream wedding a few years back in the second muppets movie, and now all of a sudden their love is dead without any explanation? Honestly, if two not-exactly-real stars can’t find lasting love, the rest of us are essentially screwed.
4. Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter
Alright, even though this one is also pretty sad, and even though this eccentric couple worked in so many ways, can we really say we didn’t see this one coming? I mean, director Tim Burton kills off Helena Bonham Carter in almost every single one of the films he makes. Surprisingly enough, this is one couple who didn’t end on any scandalous terms. There was no abuse on Tim Burton’s part as people have jokingly implied; no cheating or lying either. After 13 years and two children, the couple had just fallen out of love, ending on good terms. Helena Bonham Carter even confirming, “Sometimes you’re not meant to be forever together. Sometimes you have to come to terms with the fact that that was it. But that was a gift, a massive gift.” And a massive gift it was, with six films and years of fun antics coming out of this massively cool former couple.
3. Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne
I feel like it’s always weirdest when couples who have done reality shows together break up. First it was Kourtney and Scott, then it was Sharon and Ozzy in the May of this year. Obviously the couple has been in the public eye a bit longer than Kourtney and Scott, going back to Ozzy’s Black Sabbath days when Sharon became a manager. However, it wasn’t until 2002 with the launch of The Osbournes that the public got that extra look into exactly how things went about in their family’s everyday lives. The entire family had a quirky vibe to it, with the oddest member being the barely coherent, seemingly never sober Ozzy Osbourne. Interestingly enough, the couple’s split apparently had nothing to do with Ozzy’s drug use. In fact, at the time of the divorce, Ozzy had been over three years sober. Few sources have gotten to the bottom of what actually brought on their demise, but my guess? The emotional struggle of having to support someone with a history of addiction. Moral of the story is, getting with the rock star isn’t sunshine and rainbows after all.
2. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson
So maybe their relationship bred the most awful nicknames, K-Stew and R-Pats, to ever be seen in print (and they agree), but they really did appear to have a good thing going for them. Both a kind of aloof, smoldering, and ashamed they too part in the Twilight series. Of course, Twilight fans who got news of their relationship were anything but ashamed on their behalf, reveling in the fact that their fave characters, Edward and Bella, were together at last in real life, just like in the novels/movies. If we’re being real, though, it really wasn’t that healthy to be rooting for a romance like Bella and Edward’s in the first place (Bella literally barely moved for months that one time her and Edward broke up), but a romance like Kristen and Robert’s is a different story. And by that, I mean it ended in heartbreak, rather than marriage. But on a more positive note, how cute are “R-Pats” and FKA Twigs?!
1. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
And now…what you’ve all been waiting for…the heartbreaking breakups to end all heartbreaking breakups: the recent dissolving of the marital bonds between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (or the paperwork for dissolving at the very least). One of the most beloved couples in Hollywood, even after the ancient drama with Jennifer Aniston (hence why I’m just NOT going to get into all of that), they were two of the people’s and People‘s favourite philanthropic stunners. I mean, shit, they even have a charity together, that’s a little bit more of a commitment than a house. The two were together for over ten years, and even though they only got married about two years ago, their romance still appeared to be alive and well. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, as the saying goes, with Angelina very recently filing for divorce from Brad. The reasons reported range from an affair on Brad’s part with actress Marion Cotillard to child abuse, also on Brad’s part. Whatever the reason (I hope for their children’s sake it isn’t the latter) it’s still hard to believe, especially when you look at that loving gaze in the picture above, but things change, people change, and hearts, ours and “Brangelina’s” alike, break.
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