Childhood, it’s either the best time of our lives or the worst. Ask anyone about their childhood and the chances are, they remember something embarrassing or traumatizing. Of course, some people have it worse than others and those who think they had awful childhoods may be surprised to realize they weren’t that bad compared to others. These people all had embarrassing or traumatizing childhood memories and they didn’t hesitate to share them. Some will make us laugh, some will make us cry, but all of them will make us glad that these things didn’t happen to us. Check out these 15 insane childhood confessions that will blow your mind. Go ahead and pick up the phone and call your parents and give them a big thanks too.
15 That's Some Crappy Decor
Preschool is a rough time for a lot of kids. Many aren’t fully potty trained when they start and some even still have accidents. This kid was trying his best to do what he needed to do in the bathroom, but life just got in the way. You can’t wipe without toilet paper and you can’t go back to class without wiping. What’s a kid to do? At least he was resourceful and found a way to fix the problem. He may not have went about it the right way, but it worked. His butt was clean and the toilet wasn't clogged. Maybe nobody even noticed there was wallpaper glued on the wall with poop. Even if they did, nobody could prove it was him.
14 A Little Twisted
Bullying is a huge problem in this day and age and something a lot of parents worry about for their children. Most children can handle a little bit of bullying but it looks like this kid finally go revenge for all his years of torture. Did he do the right thing? Probably not. Did he owe the people who made his life miserable anything? Nah! It’s pretty sad that their house burned down but maybe it was just karma. As long as nobody was inside or got hurt, you can’t really blame this kid for not calling for help. Maybe the next time these bullies decide to be jerks, they will think about the time their house burned down and the only person who could get help was the person they bullied for years. I still think maybe he should have call the fire department.
13 "Some person would find a moist turd sitting in their house"
Ewww! The worst part of this is thinking about how he got the poop out of the toilet and into the bags. Did he touch it with his hands? Use a net? A shovel? Other than that, everything else about this is hilarious. I would love to see the look on the face of the person who found a frozen turd in the middle of their living room and a broken window. Wouldn’t that be the end to an awful day. Someone had to come home from work and pick up another person's poop off their floor and also replace a window. Can you imagine having to call your home insurance company and file a claim on this. They usually ask for pretty specific information. I’d love the be the agent who got this call or handled the paperwork. I bet they still laugh about it in the office. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to try a prank like this myself.
12 "7 year old me thought r******* meant cool"
It’s hard to be the cool kid in school. A lot of us never got to know how that felt, and chances are this guy didn’t either. Bless his heart, he was trying so hard to make a statement. Unfortunately for him and the rest of his class, the statement he made wasn’t the best. I’m sure a lot of kids in class did know the meaning of that word and they probably didn’t want to be called it. You would think the teachers would have had a talk with him afterwards to explain the real meaning and tell him how inappropriate it is to use. He probably wondered why nobody else in his class was joining in or cheering for him. I’m embarrassed for him. Hopefully nobody else remembers this.
11 Moms Have No Clue
Mother’s have strange views on fashion. Go ahead and flip back through your old photos. Guarantee that after a few pages you will feel like your mom hated you. Otherwise, why would she dress you like that? Even though they dressed us funny, they also made sure we were always dressed warm. This girl probably wasn’t supposed to take off her snow pants. Even though the school was well heated and it probably wasn’t even snowing, this mom wasn’t taking any chances on her baby getting chilly. I wonder if she even told her mom what happened when she got home or just held it against her for the next 20 years? I’m surprised that their isn’t a dress code somewhere that bans snow pants for this reason.
10 Don't Ask Stupid Questions
The worst time to be embarrassed as a kid is in class with your friends staring at you. I think it’s because you don’t just have to deal with the embarrassment once, you have to deal with your friends reminding you about the incident over and over again. Few things are worse than asking your teacher what an erection is. In fact, I can’t really think of anything that’s worse. I hope he at least tried to pretend like he meant something else and said the wrong word. It’s still embarrassing but not as bad as just accepting defeat and acknowledging he actually asked the teacher about boners. Teachers love to claim that there are no stupid questions. I bet this teacher changed his mind about that policy.
9 "I still get the chills whenever I think about it"
A lot of us have done similar things and we all regret doing it. If you didn’t sing the song yourself, at the very least you put the phone up to the radio while a special song was on. It was just the thing to do back then. Kids are probably still doing it now. Doing this was almost as good as actually talking to your crush and telling him or her how you felt. It felt great to finally get those feelings off your chest with nothing to lose. That is, until you forget to block your number or disguise your voice. You also have to be careful about who is around when you do this. Someone might tell other people it was you. It’s basically the best way to flirt with someone. I wonder if she ever got a date with this boy?
8 "It must've made my parents look like rich white snobbish a****"
You can’t blame this kid for coming off as a spoiled brat, he simply didn’t know any better. That doesn’t make it any less amusing, but I'm sure the people in economy class didn’t find it too funny. Can you imagine if some little brat did this while you were crammed into a seat on a flight? Wouldn’t you just want to jump up and spank him yourself? I bet his parents were humiliated too. It’s probably funny to look back and laugh at now, but it would have been awful to see your kid act like that. It’s one of those things where it’s funny because it isn’t your kid. The best part is that this kid was legitimately worried about these people and why they were there.
7 Now Christmas Sucks
Any kid who has ever walked in on his parents getting freaky, will tell you it’s probably one of the worst things he ever saw. Seeing it during Christmas time would probably be even worse. Now everything this kid hears a Christmas song or sees Santa, the vision of him mom dressed in her red and white lingerie will pop into his head. Instead of having memories of being tucked in bed on Christmas Eve, he will have visions of his mom and dad in bed. Poor kid probably needed therapy. I bet to this day he still has a problem getting excited about the holidays. I hope his parents got him an extra special gift that year to make up for scarring him for life.
6 "The girl sat ON MY LAP"
This is probably the strangest story I have ever heard. How did this entire family not notice one of them was sitting on another kid. How did the girl not realize she was sitting on someone? It just doesn’t seem possible. I don’t care how shy this kid claims to be, how did he not make a noise or movement or anything to let them know he was there. I am also wondering what they all thought when they realized what they did. How did they not even apologize and just get up and pretend it never happened? Did they talk about it when they got home and think it was weird or were they just like meh, typical day? What a crazy story and weird family.
5 He Just Wanted A Tie
It’s funny how parents will never buy us the things we want or think we need. When you are a kid and you think you are making a fashion statement, you need to have the clothing and accessories to help you create your masterpiece. I’m sure his parents thought they were doing him a favor and saving him from some serious embarrassment by not buying him a tie, but that didn’t stop him. He found a way to make his own tie and he wore it like it was the most stylish piece of clothing to ever exist. By the time his mom bought him a tie, he was probably over wearing one. What good is having a tie on graduation if you can’t look that snazzy all year?
4 Happens To Us All
As a child who should or is potty trained, having an accident in the bed is a nightmare. You know you shouldn’t be doing it, but for some reason can’t help yourself. This guy probably wasn’t very old when this was happening, which made it all the more worse. Kids can’t understand when they are dreaming sometimes so it’s really not that strange that he thought he was in the bathroom when he was really dreaming. This happens to a lot of people and probably even many adults. It sure would make it hard to have sleepovers with your friends if you couldn’t stop from wetting the bed. I think if I had a problem like this as a kid I would probably still be nervous as an adult too. Isn’t there some type of therapy for things like this?
3 It's Probably A Good Thing She Didn't Say More
Being a preteen is always awkward. Many of them are developing quickly and don’t understand the changes in their bodies or the reason they are suddenly attracted to the same guys they were disgusted by just a few days ago. This poor girl was already going through something awful. Does it get any worse than being stuck in a gymnasium mat? Let’s be serious here for a second, she could have died or been stuck there all night. Good thing there was a hottie nearby to save her. What else is a girl going to say to a strong, muscleman who saves her from certain death and embarrassment. Let’s hope this girl got better with guys as she got older and more comfortable in her skin.
2 Bet That Didn't Help
Most people with social anxiety don’t like attention or people focusing on them. You know what draws more attention than raising your hand and asking to go to the bathroom? Peeing your pants and walking around in them all day. I’m sure nobody would have given her a second thought if she would have just went to the bathroom like a normal person. I bet she got a lot of stares and unwanted attention with those stinky, wet pants. Sometimes it takes something like this to get kids out of their shyness. I hope she learned her lesson and didn’t have anymore accidents. I bet it took her a while to find kids to play with at recess after this little social disaster. I can’t even imagine how mortified she was.
1 It's Just A Dad Thing
Some dads are good to talk to about things and can be trusted to give good advice. Others are good at being silly and giving advice that might not seem good, but will ultimately teach a valuable lesson. It sounds like this dad wasn’t even attempting to give good advice and was just trying to joke with his son. He probably didn’t think the boy would be trying to impress girls with his German language skills, or lack thereof. Those poor girls probably thought this guy was from another planet, not another country. I bet his dad thought it was pretty funny though. I wonder how long it was before this boy felt like he could trust his dad again? I’m going to guess and say he still doesn’t; at least not with girl stuff.