www.thethings.com

One Time I Dreamt... (20 Posts)

Dreams are weird. Even though scientists studying the brain have had a lot of cool breakthroughs in the last century, researchers are still at a loss at explaining why human beings dream the way that they do. They know that dreams are the brain's way of trying to sort and file information, but the way that it does that makes no sense. I just don't understand how a dream where I'm getting chased by Gumby on a boat is going to help my brain remember how to do algebra, but apparently that's how it's done.

I'm one of those people that rarely remembers their dreams, which can both be a good thing and a bad thing.

It's good because not remembering dreams means also not having nightmares, but it does suck a little bit to not have any outlandish dreams to share with other people. When I do dream, it's usually about mundane things that make it hard to separate my dreams from reality. It's so weird, it's not like I'm in a normal setting with wild stuff happening around me, I literally just dream about normal things happening to me. It's good to know that everyone else doesn't have as boring of dreams as I do, though. Some of them are really out there.

Continue scrolling to keep reading

Click the button below to start this article in quick view

Start Now

20 A Bad Alternate Reality

Imagine living in a world where Donald Glover didn't start out as a comedian and actor and become the great rapper Childish Gambino. But instead he became a jazz saxophonist called Sensible Gambino. That would be very strange and would probably not be as wanted. I mean, nobody really wants more smooth jazz saxophonists out there in the world because frankly, there are enough. Jazz is one thing and can be pretty cool, but smooth jazz is another thing completely and there should be less of it out there.

At first when reading this tweet, one might wonder, "How is this considered to be a nightmare?" Of course someone wouldn't initially think of this as a bad dream because nothing extraordinarily bad has been happening. Nobody is being chased, there's no present sense of danger. As far as dreams go, having a smooth jazz player named Sensible Gambino could be thought of as being quite nice. But just imagine being stuck in a department store elevator for hours, listening to that smooth jazz, and not being able to leave. There are other things to be doing, to be listening to other than the smooth sensibilities of jazz saxophone, but there is no escape. I imagine that's what this dream felt like, which is very nightmarish indeed.

19 Talking Crickets From The Future

Via: Reddit

Crickets are already pretty annoying during the summer with their constant chirping all through the night, so I can imagine that a world where crickets can talk may be worse. There's no way for humans to know what crickets are saying in the present world because nobody has been able to crack the code of their communication, but that's probably for the better. For all I know, crickets are out there talking smack about everyone all night, but they're just able to get away with it.

It's too bad that whoever dreamt this dream didn't remember more details because I'm utterly fascinated by this concept. Something has happened in the near (or distant) future that made it so that all crickets could speak English. It seems as though crickets, while remaining their usual small size, have advanced enough to not only communicate with humans, but to also be intelligent enough to create time-traveling devices.

I just want to know why they were there, and why they were parked up right next to this person's house. Things probably aren't looking too good if crickets from the future come back to the past. If only this person remembered more, there would be a lot of material for a very interesting story.

18 Being Resourceful

This dream from start to finish sounds like a very drunk dream indeed. I don't know if this person was drunk when they fell asleep or if they were just dreaming that they were drunk, but I'm assuming that if you're dreaming that you're intoxicated, you're probably already intoxicated. Either that, or this person is usually in an altered state of mind.

Dreams are just your brain trying to piece together your life (albeit in weird ways), so your mind is just taking what you already know, and this person knows drinking.

Trying to plant apple trees to have a snack on the way back from the pub is such a silly idea that it's almost genius. If it wasn't for the fact that apple trees take a really long time to grow and produce apples, this plan may have worked. Of course, time in dreams works differently, so maybe they actually got some apples at the end. While this person shouldn't follow their drunk dream self exactly, it might actually be a good idea to hide some snacks in bushes for the walk home later that night. I mean, the raccoons might get to the snacks first, but there's always points for trying and taking care of those munchies.

17 That's A Lot Of Gushers

Dreams can be so strange because sometimes they're about things that are completely out of this world, while other times they're pretty standard except for one large, strange detail that doesn't seem quite right. It's pretty normal for someone to get a Costco membership (because who doesn't like giant boxes of cereal and access to $1 slices of pizza), but it's less normal to dream up a box of Gushers with over 1,000 packs in them.

Costco portions are gigantic, but even for Costco selling 1,024 packs of Gushers in a box is too much.

It's not like I'm saying that having 1,024 packs of Gushers is too much, though, because there's really no such thing as too many Gushers. It's just a little unreasonable for a store to sell boxes in the thousands of gummy fruit snacks. Even though a box of Gushers like that doesn't exist now, I think it should. Sure, it would be like the entire size of the backseat of a regular car but that's fine. It's like a lifetime supply of Gushers except for people like me who would eat that many Gushers is a fairly short amount of time. Thinking about that many fruit snacks at once is kind of sickening to me, but I would still enjoy it thoroughly.

16 Hydration Is Very Important

When watching an action movie, it's very easy to forget that the people on the screen have bodies that need to be taken care of. While most normal people would be out cold with just one hit, the characters on the screen keep getting punches thrown at them at unbelievable force. Sure, a lot of the Avengers are superhuman beings, so they're able to take more damage before they're knocked out, but the extent to which their bodies are used in some of these fight scenes is still pretty unbelievable.

Since this is fiction, things like great human strength and the ability to never run out of ammo are real-life things that can be set aside for the sake of the story, but this person's dream raises a question: do the Avengers ever get dehydrated?

Even though Captain America, for example, has a superhuman body that doesn't age, does it ever need more water? What about Black Widow or Hawkeye, who are humans who need water? They're doing a lot of physical activity and there's no way that they can do all of that stuff without even a small water break. At least for all of us humans in the real world, we need to stay hydrated, so keep drinking that water.

15 It Could Happen

To this person, it was a dream, but there's somebody out there where this is their reality. It doesn't seem possible, but there are actual people who are related to Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr and they talk to them just like any other person. Sometimes it's weird to think that super famous people have lives outside of their life as a famous person but it's true. They all have families and private lives that nobody really knows about besides them. Of course, that's a good thing but to me it just doesn't seem like it exists. I guess that's the point of a private life, though, having nobody really know what's going on in your day-to-day life.

What I find the funniest about this post is the way that they wrote, "He agreed to visit me." Considering the fact that Paul McCartney is apparently this person's dream uncle, you would think that their phone conversation would be a little less transactional. There's got to be more details of this dream that had been left out, like what is Paul's relationship to the rest of the family. Even though this person isn't related to Paul at all, it's still kind of cool to have him be in their dreams.

14 Jeff Goldblum Saves Lives

There is a lot going on in this dream and I don't know what all of it means for this person, if dreams mean anything at all. For one, why was this person getting attacked by someone at a LUSH store?

Those places are some of the friendliest places you can go to, the employees are almost aggressively too nice.

Maybe that was it: this person didn't want to try all of their lotions and the LUSH employee kept insisting on it until they got so mad that they started to get scary.

If not for Jeff Goldblum coming to the rescue, the fate of this dreamer may have ended very differently. Of course the common sense thing to think about this whole thing is that this was a dream, and Jeff Goldblum was also just a figment of the dream. But like this person said, if there's anyone out there that has the ability to travel into people's dreams and help people out, it would be Jeff Goldblum. This man is a beautiful specimen of mystery and as he gets older he just gets dreamier. That's beside the point, though. He seems to have a kind of ethereal aura, so full of mystery, there's no way that he doesn't have cool powers like dream traveling or something.

13 'Emoji Movie' Just Got Worse

If you still think that the making of the Emoji Movie was a good idea, then read this person's dream and think again. The concept of the original movie was wild, having a bunch of unicode pictures turn into things with faces and limbs that could talk. I've never actually seen this movie because I could not be bothered, and have heard enough reviews to convince myself to not see it, but this person did and look what happened. They got dream-dashed by a yellow smiley face with spindly arms and legs. That's not fun or cute, that's just straight-up scary.

The emojis in this person's dream are pretty much just an escalation of what emojis actually are, if you think about it. They're used as ways to convey emotions in a way that isn't through a lot of words. You could interpret Gene going into this person's room and shooting them as an angry face and gun emoji coming to life. That's why this movie should have never been made, so the idea that angry emojis coming to life couldn't exist either. It's a bad movie that's causing people nightmares, and this person will never be able to look at their default emojis the same way again.

12 They Have It

Via: Pinterest

This is probably one of the most cryptic scenarios that has been implanted in my brain. There's something about a giant corporate fast food joint that has a secret scary menu that only a small inner circle knows about that seems like it couldn't be real, but at the same time, could be very real.

There's no way that giant corporations don't all have some dark secrets that won't be discovered by the general public until it's too late.

Like, how do people still go to McDonald's even though it's not even that good? It's probably because they put something in it to keep us all going back

The way that the sign read, "We have it," is just so direct but also so vague. What is "it"? This person wanted to find out but even in a dream state, they weren't strong enough to find out the truth. What's so funny about this whole thing is how long it took for the drive-thru guy to respond. He had to think about it for a good moment before denying this person access to whatever "it" is. I wish that instead of screaming, this person stayed and braved through the McDonald's drive-thru to find out what secrets they've been hiding this whole time.

11 Rough Time For Dad

Dinosaurs are only really scary because of popular media, such as Jurassic Park and video games, but how scary could they possibly be in real life? Sure, the fossils we've discovered are gigantic, but scientists have figured out that these scaly giants actually had feathers so there's no way that they could look that scary. There's also the fact that every dinosaur to ever exist has not existed for millions of years, so there's really no reason to be afraid of them because they're never coming back. That is, if anyone's learned anything from the movies. There's probably some mad scientist out there now trying to bring dinosaurs back, but I'm not going to think about that.

It's a good thing that dinosaurs haven't been recreated yet so that this person had a fighting chance against their T-rex dad. Dinosaurs are very old (understatement of the year), so they're practically just dust. They may be giant and may have once been the world's largest predators but that's ancient news. A T-rex may look pretty scary, but they're so old that even a door could defeat them, which is exactly what happened here. This version of a human versus a dinosaur is probably more realistic than the plot of Jurassic Park.

10 He Has A Point

Via: Pinterest

Frosty the Snowman has been such a big holiday icon for so long, but nobody has ever questioned if he liked that name or not. I had to look up the lyrics to "Frosty the Snowman" just to make sure, but there is no indication if Frosty the Snowman is the name that Frosty has given himself, or if that's just what everyone calls him. It's a pretty unoriginal name if you ask me.

Of course someone made of snow is cold like frost and he is a man out of snow, but is "snowman" really the word that other snow-like people call themselves?

It seems kind of crazy, and a very weird dream thing. But in this dream, Frosty does have a point. We fleshy human folk call ourselves "people" and we kind of treat ourselves as the default. There are a whole lot of mythical creatures who look similar to humans, but are made out of different things, so we call them by the substances they're made of. It seems normal for us, but I bet that for Frosty the Snowman and other snow people, the term might not be what they would like to call themselves. There's a whole level of snow people politics that have never been discussed until now.

9 Casper The Not-So-Friendly Ghost

Via: Pinterest

If someone were to ever make a horror movie version of Casper the Friendly Ghost, I would want it to be based off of this person's dream. Casper may be a very cute ghost, and seemingly very friendly, but I always knew that he had a darker side to him. I mean, he's a ghost after all and after being dead, how friendly can you really be? There are things that Casper's got bottled up inside and it would only take a moment for him to just snap one of these days.

Casper is a very friendly ghost to this person, but to anyone else he's quite mean and aggressively chokes them.

This story seems to take place later on in Casper's ghost life, probably once he realizes that being friendly gets you nowhere. He's different than all of the other ghosts, who are just straight-up scary and wants to be more like them. He likes the person who tattooed him, though, and will help them out on math tests, but there's no way that he's got enough friendliness in them to be nice to their friends, too. Casper can't be friendly to everyone anymore, it's just too much energy to be nice all the time.

8 Somehow Not Surprised

On television, Gordon Ramsay is a very mean guy. In real life, Gordon Ramsay is a mildly rude but overall nicer version than his TV persona. In the dream world, it seems as though Gordon Ramsay is a monster of a German teacher.

There was a lot going on here, like why would Gordon Ramsay be a German teacher, and why would a German teacher be trying to get people to make beef wellington properly? That isn't even a German dish — it's English.

It seems as though Gordon Ramsay doesn't even know why he's there, and that may be why he's so angry.

Even though this version of Hell's Kitchen seems to actually have come from the pits of Hell itself, I have to admit that it looks as entertaining as it does horrifying. Just think of how high the stakes are in that show — you have to prepare this dish right or you're going to get a fork in your neck. That would make all of the drama in the show skyrocket. Just imagine how petty you have to be to sabotage someone on this new version of the show. It would be very intense and probably have very high ratings.

7 Cool It, Linda

If I was stuck in this world, even in a dream, I probably would not do so well emotionally. Trying to duke it out in a barren wasteland isn't something I could do, and it would stress my dream-self out even more. Somehow, The 100's plot was on this person's mind that night, even though they don't watch the show, and this version is more like a parody than a cutting-edge action/adventure.

I feel like I have to side with Linda when going through the synopsis of this dream.

While the dreamer here was extremely certain that their boyfriend's name was Bellamy Bellamy, I have my doubts that that is a real name. Outside of Dr. Monty in A Series of Unfortunate Events, I don't know anyone who would be named the same first and last name. Bellamy is also not a first name so that makes little sense as well. I also want to know what was going on in this person's head to choose their dental hygienist out of all the people in the world to accompany them on this mission. I personally don't think about my dental hygienist often, and I have to admit that I probably forgot what she actually looks like. I do need to make my next cleaning appointment though, so thank you for this post to remind me.

6 This One Isn't Totally Out There

I know that this story is 100% a dream, but it honestly wouldn't surprise me if Danny DeVito did something just like that in real life (or at least as Frank on It's Always Sunny or something). Danny DeVito, just like Jeff Goldblum, is one of those celebrities that seem to exist in our dimension, but also have access to other planes of existence that they travel to and from.

If I go out to a pizza place that has a mascot—and literally the only place I can think of is Chuck E. Cheese—and that mascot is going to have a grand appearance, there's always going to be a very small part of me that expects Danny DeVito because there is always the possibility of it happening.

This dream may not be real, but Danny DeVito, if he ever sees this post, has the power to make this vision a reality. He's done stranger things for the laughs on screen, so why not wear a rat costume and hop on a skateboard? Now that I've imagined this, there's nothing else I can think of. If anything, it would be great comedy and it would literally make someone's dreams come true.

5 Spidey Can't Fix This One

This is a case where dream logic really doesn't make a lot of sense, but I have to say that this person had made a lot of poor judgment calls here. For one, how does someone get their car tires stolen on a deserted road? Was this person just parked on the shoulder of some road or did a bunch of people just come up and steal the tires while driving? That would be very impressive. Also, it's hard enough to get cell service out in the middle of nowhere to call AAA, so why in the heck did they think that Spider-Man was going to come?

That kid lives in the city, so how could he possibly know about a tire-jacking in the middle of nowhere?

Despite all logic, Spider-Man eventually came to save the day — except he couldn't do anything about this problem. It's true, Spider-Man can do a lot of things, but getting wheels back to a car when there's not a human in sight is too difficult even for him. It's nice of him that he came to show this person some emotional support, even if it didn't do much to help. There's only so much Spider-Man can do, after all.

4 Heart Of Pizza

Arnold Schwarzenegger may be a very large man, but anatomically speaking there's little chance that his heart is much larger than the heart of anyone else. I'm pretty sure those things are pretty stationary in size among adults, but I may be wrong. Apparently in the dream world, Arnold's heart is about two-feet long, which is like 1/4 of his whole body. I wonder about the circumstances in the dream, like why was this person and their mom there at the scene, and how did Arnold die in such a way that this person's mom was trying to fit his heart into a plastic bag?

Usually when people die, other people don't just go into their chest and dig out a heart, but this mom did.

The strangest part about this whole story is with the agent. What was so important about Arnold Schwarzenegger's heart that someone from the government had to come and collect it.

Also why did they immediately microwave it? Was there some secret message hidden in Arnold's organs that would shake the entire foundation of the country if it let out? Why would a heart turn into a pizza? Was this a good piece of pizza? The world needs these answers!

3 Imagine A World

I feel like part of the reason why people fear the devil (besides that he's the bringer of all things evil and stuff) is because with a name like "Devil" or "Lucifer" it brings a bit of a more nefarious aura to it.

Just look at the word "devil." It's got "evil" right up in that word, so it obviously means nothing good. We associate words with different things because of the definitions, but also because of the way it feels. For example, if you hear that someone's name is Herbert, you're probably going to think of someone with glasses. If you hear the name Chad, you're going to visualize someone in a bro tank shotgunning Bud Lite. Now, think about how you see the devil Lucifer in your mind then keep that same image, but have that entity named Luigi. It doesn't work, does it?

This person said that nothing besides calling the devil Luigi has changed, but honestly that is such a big change that it almost changes everything. The way that people must have interpreted scripture for centuries must have been different. There's no way that people would be as afraid of a guy named Luigi as a guy named Lucifer. People would probably be chill with doing way more sin because if you're going to Luigi's mansion down under then you know you're in for a good time.

2 Got Their Priorities Straight

For most people, if Mark Ruffalo came to them and told them they were the key to saving the world, they would take that challenge head-on. There's nothing like a grand adventure with an actor who plays a superhero (and also cares a lot about the environment) to save the world from mass destruction.

In a dream, is there really any other option besides going on a long quest that won't be finished before you have to wake up for school? I would assume not because I always think of dreams the way that I think of video games, but I guess I have been wrong this whole time.

Even though this person was chosen to save the world from imminent danger, they chose to keep the world's destiny that way.

There are a lot more important things than saving the world, like eating peanut butter. It honestly is a little bit annoying that in every story the "chosen one" is very righteous and ready to go into battle. There should be more people like this one who are just not interested in saving everyone. That's a lot of work and it's tiring. Sometimes it's just easier to live in the moment and enjoy peanut butter before the inevitable end.

1 Beezus, That's An Image

A bee with Kanye West's face seems like the perfect setup for a second Bee Movie, where instead of Jerry Seinfeld as a bee falling in love with a woman, it's just Kanye saying the same crazy things he usually says except he has a bee body. I feel like everyone is tired of Kanye at this point and something like this may just be the thing to make people interested in him again. Putting anyone's face on a bee's body would be alarming and quite unsettling to look at.

I know that everyone loves bees these days, but I have to admit that I have a nasty fear of them and even though I know they're harmless, I will run away from one very quickly just at the mere sight of a bee. If this was my dream, there's no way that this Kanye bee would ever be able to talk to me because I would run away from it so fast. If it was talking to me, that would probably freak me out more. I hate any bug that buzzes and has that yellow/black striped pattern and can sting, so there's no way I'm getting close to one enough to find out it looks like Kanye. I'm not brave enough to face a bee, not even in my dreams, especially not in my dreams.

More in LOL