Defining a squid is difficult in 2019 because we have seen the subgenre of motorbike riders spread from their traditional Gixxer, onto Hondas, dirtbikes, and even Harleys. Despite a change of environment they still stand out for their reckless and dangerous behavior, and their constant showboating.
In this article, we’ve shied away from the traditional squid photos to show evidence that squids come in all shapes and sizes. The traditional squid will always be out there, flirting bitumen rash by wearing flip-flops and shorts instead of any kind of protective gear, but now you can see them on every kind of motorbike.
One thing that has remained constant though, is the enjoyment that other bikers get from laughing at them. And with that in mind, here are 20 photos of squids doing what they do best, behaving inappropriately.
20 Too Fast Too Furious
We aren’t sure if this guy has seen too many Fast & Furious movies, or he’s just a future candidate for the Darwin Awards. What’s his plan if the truck suddenly stops? What is he actually doing? And why did he ever think this would be a good idea? Whatever he’s up to, we’ll sure the internet will solve it eventually.
19 Laid Back
Can you imagine how much practice went into being able to pull this off? Regardless, bitumen rash is no fun and knee-high socks have never been a part of recommended motorcycle footwear. In any case, they are probably significantly less durable than Kevlar. Crazy and irresponsible, but that’s just how squids roll.
18 Wet Weather Gear
Even when they’re suited up, squids are still prone to squidding (displaying squid-like behavior). This is one of those photos that makes you cringe because you realize just how easily it could have gone very badly for the rider. At least the umbrella he’s holding will keep his head dry.
17 Barely There Protection
The easiest way to spot a squid is by the lack of proper protective gear they’re wearing. A common saying in the motorcycle community is that some gear is better than none, but you have to wonder, when the only thing between the road and your skin is yoga pants, are boots really going to help that much?
16 Dabbing Dope
In case dabbing wasn’t cringy enough, doing it on a motorcycle seems to make it just so much worse. Especially when you’re going around a bend, as this rider seems to be doing. It does take a certain level of bike control to be able to do this, but you have to ask the question, WHY?
15 How To Ruin A Sportsbike
This squid is like most others in that he thinks the best place for a motorcycle helmet is on the side carrier hook. As is typical with squids he chooses not to let protective gear cramp his style. The worst part about this photo though is that he has stretched and lowered his bike. Way to ruin a nice handling bike, Karl.
14 Fashion Police
It looks like this squid is in some kind of trouble, probably for his poor fashion choices. This is worse than most photos on this list, because you can tell from his boots and Dainese riding shorties that he has some idea of what he should be doing, but everything from the waist up is one bad decision after another.
13 Chicken Little
This photo looks unremarkable but if you pay attention to the little details, the rider is trying so, so hard to let everyone know he’s a motorcycle bro. However any keen-eyed biker will notice how pristine his rear tire looks, and a lack of chicken strips (these indicate how much a bike is leaned over through a corner). Most times bikers don’t care unless you go out of your way to make yourself look like a douche.
12 Hold Me
Whatever is going on in this photo the look on the riders face tells us he is definitely regretting it. Judging by his death grip, the passenger looks like he has never been on a bike before, and this is backed up by his poor choice of riding attire. At least they’re both warm.
11 Confused Streetfighter
If ever a photo portrayed the epitome of a squid, it would have to be this one. We see sneakers instead of riding boots, normal jeans instead of riding jeans, a singlet that will get torn to shred on the asphalt, dangerous riding behavior, a terrible livery on his bike, and a streetfighter sticker on a sports bike. What a chump.
10 Shoelace Squid
Before riding a motorcycle it’s important to perform some checks. Inspect the tires to see if they have enough tread, check the chain to make sure it’s not worn, and have a look over the bike for any obvious defects. Here we see a squid performing the most important check of all – making sure the laces are tied on his fresh kicks, in case he can’t find anyone to help him tie them once he’s out on the road.
9 Mr. Puniverse
What’s worse than telling everyone you’re a squid? Reminding everyone that you’re all about that gym life, bro. Instead of taking a normal photo being severely underdressed on his bike, the squid in this photo is trying to flex on all of you by pushing out his underdeveloped triceps against his chest, similar to how a pufferfish puffs himself up to try and appear intimidating.
8 Wheelie Dangerous
We love this screengrab from a YouTube video about squidding behavior because it’s taken about 1 second before everything goes very badly. In the video, the squid pictured above tries to pop a clutch wheelie while wearing very little protective clothing, realizes immediately he is out of his element, dropping his motorcycle on his leg.
7 Pre-Hospital Selfie
Despite their carefree attitude, the squid is incredibly vain. Doing something dangerous that requires complete concentration? Better take a selfie for Facebook. Even worse, they’re using a selfie stick which is a crime in itself, but when you’re leaning into a corner is really a time when you want to keep both hands on the bike.
6 This Isn't What I Meant When I Said Track Day
Some motorcycle riders do everything right but they still struggle to cast off their squidness. Whether that be by performing stunts in inappropriate places, or incredible acts of stupidity, like trying to ride the wrong way across a drain. Luckily the group of squids is nearby to help them out of this precarious situation.
5 Cooked Squid
This squid posted the above photo with the caption ‘call me a squid but it’s HOT out here’. Well, how about wearing some color other than black, genius? Summer protective riding gear is vented, and it keeps the sun off you so ‘being hot’ is the lamest excuse ever for not suiting up properly. Poor form all round.
4 Police Squids
This photo goes to show that even the police are not immune from displaying squid-like behavior. There two motorcycle cops suffered a low-speed collision when they couldn’t figure decide between braking, turning, or running into one another. We’re happy nobody was injured and this photo serves as a reminder that you can’t teach some people common sense.
3 I Just Bought This Bike
If we ignore the questionable footwear, the dubious paint scheme, the pre-ripped jeans, the lack of gloves, and the missing helmet, we still have to ask – why is this rider sitting like she is on top of a Harley Davidson? We have so many questions about this photo we hardly know where to begin.
2 King Of The Squids
Sometimes it’s admirable when people just don’t care about anything. When they’re on a motorcycle is not one of those times. Homeboy here has a photo but he’s far too hardcore to put it on, or any protective gear. When you’re balancing a 6 pack on your fuel tank you need all the help you can get.
1 International Squidlets
Thailand probably has the highest number of squids in the world. Teenagers can only afford cheap 2-stroke scooters so they do everything they can to make them light and fast for drag racing. Unfortunately, they also fit tires that are skinnier than bicycle tires, and never wear helmets. It's exciting to watch, but incredibly dangerous.
Souces: CBR Forum, Reddit, and Daily Bikers.