Ah, high school and middle school. For some, they are the best years of their lives; the glory days where their whole life is ahead of them and everything's just peachy keen. For others (and I’m going to go ahead and say, for most normal people), this time of life is mired with embarrassing incidents, total awkwardness, mortifying moments, and just general all around cringe.
Well, thankfully for all those voyeurs out there, the general hivemind of Reddit got together and shared all of the most embarrassing moments from that time in their lives. I did the dirty work and picked some of the most facepalm moments they had to give.
Here are 15 reasons to be thankful that we’re not in high school/middle school anymore. (And, if anyone reading this is, I promise it gets better, just can take solace in the fact that no one's alone when it comes to awkwardness.)
15 Rain, Rain, Go Away
Redditor TheRaven42 had an unfortunate brush with pantslessness (if that's not a word, it is now):
"In our first year, we went to this outdoors museum on the pre-historics. One of my friend's had been nagging all day that we had to go to the canoes if we had some time left. (And we had, and we did.) The other friends got in a canoe together, and the friend who had been nagging and I got in another canoe. It took about one minute for us to fall into the water. As we were standing there, completely soaked, our teacher comes and tells us it's time to go to the bus. Only problem: the bus driver says he doesn't want us in the bus with our wet clothes. Therefore, we had to take our pants off; in between two busses with our classmates...while the teachers were laughing at us... When we got back to school, it only got worse, because we had to wait for our parents to come get us. And my friend got picked up first."
14 That Sounds Like It Hurt
Aptly-named Redditor Loverboy21 took a running jump at love and got tackled instead:
"So I was courting this girl. Sort of. Being in middle school, I was awkward as f*ck and just shy of my first growth spurt. I stood all of 5'2" tall and weighed in at a hefty 98 lbs. (I am male, I feel that I need to point that out.)
Anywho, Valentine's Day rolls around, so I bought her a box of chocolates. Unfortunately, I'm f*cking terrified of giving it to her. I keep losing the nerve every time I see her, until the end of the day bell rings and everyone is stashing their sh*t in their lockers, grabbing their coats, all that good stuff. I make my way through the crowd until I find her at her locker, finally resolved to give them to her and wish her a happy Valentine's Day. I walk up to her and discover that I've developed a stutter in the last minute and a half. I'm terrified, but I manage. She gives me an equally awkward thanks and a coy smile.
I'm totally in. It's great.
I rub my neck. Just then, someone running down the hall collides with me — hard. My arm, currently cocked back to shyly rub my neck, launches forward. I punch her directly in the eye and send her sprawling into her own locker.
Awkwardness immediately takes over. I bail like I'd just walked into a murder scene in my own house. She has never spoken to me since."
13 The Worst Thing To Forget
Redditor NullKarmaException had a very unfortunate moment of lapsed memory:
"High school related, but didn’t happen during school time. In grade 10 I had a pretty cool teacher. He was young (late 20s), was coach of the soccer and football teams, and generally an easy going guy. He was pretty much a jock. He even worked out and took care of his appearance. I played both football and soccer, as did one of my friends in the class and we were pretty close with him and joked about all kinds of stuff students and teachers shouldn’t joke about.
We decided to buy him anal beads as a Christmas gag gift. He opened it in front of the football team after a Friday practice. Everyone had a good laugh about it and he eventually said 'Please.. take them, I can’t have my fiance finding this sh*t.' I took them (no, not for science) and left them in my inside coat pocket.
That night there was an ‘all-ages club’ event. I was 16 so it was the cool thing to do. I get to the front of line, female bouncer begins searching me. I totally forgot about the anal beads in my jacket. She took them out of my jacket, held them up for everyone to see “well, well.. what do we have here.” The other bouncers, my friends, and everyone in line was dying from laughter. She gave them back to me and said 'have fun with these' and let me in the club. People were coming up to me calling me 'the anal beads guy' all night. It was funny, but pretty embarrassing as a 16-year-old."
12 Fake It 'Til You Make It
Redditor devidual tried to be sneaky, but failed...HARD:
"I was a clarinet player in my junior high school band. We had the official performance the night before and were scheduled to play for the entire school the next day. Too bad I left my clarinet at home! The band was formed in a 'C' shape with the ends of the 'C' facing down, if you know what I mean. I was never a good player, so I was like 8th chair, which landed me in the second row at the very end of the 'C.' Damn.
I couldn't go anywhere, so I whipped out my #2 pencil and rocked out to it pretending it was a clarinet... IN FRONT OF 500+ people. My 12-year-old mind thought I could convince everyone my PENCIL was an INSTRUMENT.
So at the end of the year, I get my yearbook and while flipping through the pages quickly, there's me holding a FREAKIN' pencil with the rest of the band. That was the nail in the coffin for my musical endeavors."
11 The Worst Kind Of Viral Video
Redditor EnglishMD had an image nobody could unsee:
"I was a very adventurous kid, who also loved porn. I made a webcam video of my girl and I having sex (both 16 at the time) which she was okay with at the time. I did some rough editing and took four screenshots, put them together in one big pic. Then a couple months later, genius over here that I am, decided it would be good to send it to a friend who had been asking to see the video clip ever since I bragged about it...
Said friend decided it would be clever to print off about 50 copies of the image and distribute them around school, he also put one in her handbag. Needless to say she flipped a sh*t and on a Friday afternoon I was pulled from class and spent a couple hours facing questions from the head, assistant head, and the co-star of the picture. I was sent home and my punishment was to tell my parents what I did, while the school and her parents decided how best to discipline me
Well somehow this image has had some lasting appeal, it's kind of an urban legend 'round those parts and JPG is somehow still being passed round. I was pretty mortified when I was at school, and it wasn't great getting the look of death from every teacher but eventually it died down.
8 years later I'm at the gym, wearing a t-shirt with my school's name on. I get approached by a trio of teenage girls who asked me what year I was at the school. I thought they wanted to ask about exams and university, nope, they asked me if it was me who was the owner of the penis they saw in the image. Pretty embarrassing even to this day."
Redditor mooremic tried to be smooth, and it didn't exactly go well:
"I played football in high school, I wasn't wildly popular, but a knew a lot of people. One year during the pep rally, I decided that my 'grand entrance'—when the announcer called my name—was to run in and throw my fitted hat into the audience for them to catch.
Needless to say that it didn't go as planned. The hat sailed in the air and the entire gym full of people watched as my hat landed between two girls who scooted out of the way.
I felt like it was my fault for being douchey like that, but wow was I embarrassed. My a**hole friend gave me back my hat later that day with a smug look."
9 This One Time, At Band Camp
Redditor savage819 took one hell of a spill:
"During band camp...(playing trumpet is cool, shut up!) I was in full band practice, probably about 200 people or so and I had to leave for a private lesson. So I packed up my trumpet and music and looked around and realized that if I walked through the isle, i'd have tons of music stands and chairs to maneuver ... So I decided to jump over my chair. I took a step up on it, put my trumpet case on the other side and lifted my leg over the chair ... which turned out to be much taller than I expected it would be. My back leg and crotch got stuck on the chair back, I flailed my arm and hit the bass drum WHAM!! so it made a loud noise. Then, I fell to the ground with my back foot stuck on the chair back. I startled another drummer who pushed back on his chair to get out of my way and flipped backward making another huge noise so everyone in the band turned around and the director cut the music and asked if I was okay. On the way out, the two b*tches from my high school—who were also there—were laughing hysterically."
8 Gender Bender
Redditor lopsiness had some folks confused about something pretty important:
"I was mistaken for a girl.
So, for whatever reason, I was placed in the special education program (I was diagnosed with ADD, and I just didn't give a sh*t about things like math and science). I wasn't too involved in it, I just had a different study hall period and I got extra time on tests. Anyway, part of the program was this group therapy thing where we had to go and talk to the school therapy in groups.
This was freshman year and I hadn't gone through puberty yet and I had long blonde hair because I thought I was one of The Beatles. So, I go to group therapy for the first time. There were four or five of us, all sitting on a couch in a dim room. The therapist was a friendly, pretty young woman, probably in her late 20's. She went down the line, asking each of us to introduce ourselves. When she got to me she said "And what is your name, m'lady?" She f*cking thought I was a girl. I told her I was a guy and then she asked me to leave and come back with the guy's group tomorrow. I looked around and noticed I was the only boy in the group. Not only did the therapist think I was a girl, the head of the Special Ed department and the teachers who taught the Special Ed study hall also thought I was a girl. I asked to be removed from the Special Ed program and cut my hair shortly after that incident."
7 Reefer Madness
Redditor basey got in over his head:
"Junior year of high school. I smoked weed with some friends during lunch period. I came back to watch a documentary about playwright Eugene O'Neill, who I believe was addicted to morphine and had a seriously depressing life story. I started to feel lightheaded. I couldn't take it anymore, and HAD to get up out of the class. I asked the teacher if I could leave, he says I have to write him a pass first (for him to sign). On my way back to my desk, I start to get spotty vision — as one does when feeling extremely lightheaded. Just write the pass. I do. He signs it. I start walking toward the door, which is in the front corner of the class, so I'm in plain view of all 30 or so students. My vision is getting worse. I try to reach for the doorknob, can't seem to find it. I repeatedly grab for it but end up stroking the door a few inches above the knob. My vision is gone at this point, stars and specs in my head. I fall straight back, pass out.
My teacher takes me down to the nurse, I lie and say I didn't eat anything all day which is why I fainted. They gave me saltines to eat. Still having cotton mouth, I chew them but I have no saliva. I end up drinking out of the sink to moisturize the crumbs in my mouth.
At least I got to lie down in the nurse's office for the rest of the day."
6 Don't Stick Around
Redditor Nebula15 got into somewhat of a sticky situation in the hallway of their high school:
"My high school was pretty much just one long hallway with classes on either side of it. During a passing period, I had to take a speedy sh*t, considering my next class was all the way on the other end of the hallway. I finished the sh*t and made the trip to the other side of the school. The hallway was always super congested so I slowly push my way through the crowd. I finally make it to the the other end and stop by my friend's locker before the next class. We shoot the sh*t (so to speak) and then I turn to walk into geography only to hear a symphony of laughter erupt behind me. I look down at t but and have a long 3 ft piece of toilet paper trailing from the waist of my pants. Good job me."
5 Naked Ambition
Redditor EwokSlayer learned that proper attire is necessary:
"Last year (junior year of high school) I was in my weightlifting class and hadn't dressed properly. I had on jeans when you were supposed to be wearing shorts. Anyway, we went outside like everyday, to do our stretches and warm ups, and right about the time I attempted to do a lunge (a really big step forward, then dip) My pants split right down the middle. All the way from my knee to the top of my zipper. This type of thing could easily be shrugged off seeing as how it was my fault for not dressing up. The only thing that makes this embarrassing was the lack of underwear I had on at the time. So once the rip sounded off everybody broke their workout positions and got a good look at what I was packing. As did the chorus class whose door was open behind me as I turned around to hide myself from my classmates in front. AT LEAST 40 students, and maybe a teacher or two, got a good look at EVERYTHING."
4 Gel Pens Or Bust
Redditor herpherpderpderp got a bitter mouthful of the latest fad:
“Back in sixth grade, all of the girls would use those gel pens to decorate their agendas. This one girl had a bunch of them, and when the ink ran out she would take the stopper thing on the top of the pen off and suck on the ink cartridge a bit, which for whatever reason, caused the pens to write again. One day I tried this, and the gel pen pretty much exploded in my mouth. There was 20 or so minutes left until lunch, and because my mouth was full of bright pink ink, I couldn't exactly ask to go to the bathroom, so I sat there debating what to do, with a mouth full of ink.
By the time lunch came, I grabbed a bunch of tissues and spit into them; some of the ink got onto a desk, but I booked it out of there and tried to eat my lunch. Instead I spent the rest of the day trying to wash the taste of/color of ink out of my mouth.”
3 Big Whoops
Redditor lopsiness had the worst sort of pop up:
During the first quarter of my sophomore year of high school, I forgot to print a paper at home. Fortunately, we had a comp lab, where you could go to print papers and such. I went to the comp lab with my thumb drive, which had the paper on it, so that I could print it out. When I got there, I stuck my thumb drive into the first computer — which was pretty much in the middle of the heavy traffic area and visible from the halls, various rooms around the lab, and half the lab itself.
Well, the paper wasn't appearing on the drive, so I started clicking through folders to see where I'd put it and wasn't paying attention when I opened a folder full of porn, which threw up very large pictures. I wasn't even looking at the screen when it popped up so I didn't close the folder for far too long."
Redditor emaG_ehT had a part of his body grab attention just when he didn’t want it to:
"This happened when I was a very young teenager (in my first year of middle school, I think, or somewhere around then). I was in gym class with around 30 kids, we sat cross legged on the floor. Our gym teacher (who was a very hot woman) is going over what we will be doing in the lesson. Suddenly, from nowhere, a wild boner appears. Talk about timing. To my horror, the teacher asks me to stand up for a demonstration. I ask her if she could possibly choose someone else, but she seems to take it the wrong way and flips out, demanding that I stand up. Long story short I had to stand in front of 30 of my peers with a raging erection for around 2 mins as my gym teacher tears me apart for being 'bone idle.' I still shudder to this day."
1 Dios Mio!
Redditor carrotv had an unfortunate run-in at a hotel:
"My sophomore year, I met a girl from another high school (we shared a charter bus to a big debate tournament in another state, the other school is nearby, we were private, they were the public one).
We were just friends, until I took the hint, and shoved her against the wall of an elevator and started making out with her. (My first big move on a girl ever!)
We hit it off, fooled around a little, and spent the whole trip like young high school children in love.We wandered around in the hotel (nice place, the tournament rented several floors for debate rounds, Hyatt iirc) and would randomly make out/fool around when we could find a private place to do it.
We were in a conference room (like a ballroom), and I had picked her up and pinned her against a wall and was making out with her. A cleaning lady walked in to clean up after the meeting that had just been there and saw us, and it MIGHT have looked like we were f*cking, but we weren't. She yells: "AY DIOS MIO!!!!!!!!", and FAINTS!
Somebody called hotel security and we ended up getting in a bit of trouble, but the lady was fine and even covered for us. I don't know what she said, because it was mostly Spanish and I don't speak it. Our coaches didn't find out, but we thought they knew and were both really embarrassed. Some people found out, and randomly when we'd be around, people would shout at us "AY DIOS MIO!" More embarrassing for her I guess, but a happier story from my past either way.
That girl and I went on to date for about a year. My whole 'first love' type of gal. Wish she was still around!"