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20 Rules Every Redneck Driver Follows

Rednecks are an integral part of American culture. Lately, they've been all over reality television, song lyrics, even video games. There's certainly something strange going on in redneck-land. The term “redneck” has gone through a reappropriation transition. It is now becoming less of an epithet and more of a means of group participation through self-identification.

We’ve also seen a shift in the use of the word as an adjective, becoming less a term to describe something shoddy and careless and more a term to describe anything improvised, moving along the spectrum from “half-baked” toward “MacGyvered.”

For the purpose of this article, we'll combine both the old and the new use of the word without wanting to hurt Bobby Joe and Sadie Mae. Remember y'all, it's all in good fun now, ya hear. Yeehaw! Let's check out some redneck driver rules.

20 First Car Was A Lawn Mower

via Pinterest

Some of you might think we're joking, but rednecks are actually known for casually riding - as well as racing - their lawn mowers. There's even a Rebels and Rednecks Mower Racing Association, where they describe themselves as "a group of individuals who love the comradery and the sport of lawn mower racing." We're sure many a future NASCAR driver will start their careers there.

19 Rack In The Back

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The rack to hold the redneck's toys is an absolute essential to car ownership, and no self-respecting redneck will drive a vehicle that doesn't have a gun rack fitted. How can one partake in a spontaneous hunting session if there are no guns in the car? Hippies and vegans clearly aren't part of redneck society, as guns aren't needed to pick flowers.

18 1+1 Project Cars

via Racing Junk

Unlike the majority of today's car owners, many rednecks still perform their own car repairs and mods. The “1+1” project car is essentially a “work-in-progress” vehicle with an identical or very similar car parked next to it to cannibalize for spares. Finding a donor car of exactly the same color as the project itself is the Holy Grail of 1+1-ing.

17 What Would Burt Reynolds Do?

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Burt Reynolds was a legend as far as movie stars go. But he holds a special place in every redneck's heart. After all, Reynolds was The Bandit - a folk hero every young redneck aspire to be like when they grow up. His godlike status is second only to, well, God, and when times are tough they look to their mustache-wearing hero for hope... especially when trying to escape the law.

16 Just Like NASCAR

via Cars Online

NASCAR holds a special place in the hearts of rednecks. One of the most NASCAR-y cars a redneck can get his hands on is the Chevy Monte Carlo - and it needs all the stickers, racing numbers, and Budweiser decals to look the part and make other rednecks admire him more. Extra redneck bonus points are awarded if he looks like his favorite NASCAR driver as well.

15 Keep A Non-Running General Lee In The Garden

via Moparts

A true redneck will keep a rusty old classic car in their yard. If anyone asks to buy it, the response will be "Nope! That there car is my retirement fund! I'm gunna fix 'er up sumday and in 'bout 20 years I'm gunna sell it and retire." By the time they get around to it - if ever - there's nothing left of the car but a pile of rust.

14 Everything Can Be Fixed With Duct Tape And Zip Ties

via Ask Ideas

The use of duct tape and zip ties for car repairs is what redneck ingenuity is all about. In fact, we're so impressed with their duct tape skills that we sometimes wonder if MacGyver was a redneck? At the very least the person who created the show must have some redneck genes.

13 Bumper Stickers Rule

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A study carried on by Cheap Car Insurance on over 2,000 U.S. drivers revealed that 68 percent of the car-owning population in Alabama, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Tennessee have embellished their car's bumper with a sticker. We're not even gonna comment any further on this - let's just say we've proven our point!

12 Spray Booths Are Overrated

via Hemmings

After seeing this we can't understand why those fancy repair and paint shops need a spray booth in order to paint our cars. Clearly, that's just a scam so they can charge us more money! Instead, a redneck will just put up a picnic shelter with flyscreens and get to work.

11 Pony Cars Are Like American Ferraris

via Autowise

Roadworthy pre-1980 pony cars were once the redneck's vehicle of choice. Unfortunately, these are increasingly priced beyond the reach of the average redneck, so these days it’s primarily later, base-model Camaros, Firebirds, and Mustangs that fill the “affordable head-turner” void. Besides, these American icons offer speed, unsubtle style and sporty handling on-par with the best Ferraris, especially when dressed up with spoilers and decals... Or so they think.

10 Farm Equipment Is Perfect For Recreational Use

via Team Jimmy Joe

Seeing as most rednecks learn to drive on riding mowers, it's only natural progression that other farming equipment will be used for recreational use. It's also extremely practical, seeing as a tractor trike has so much more storage space than one of those tiny motorcycles some people like to ride.

9 Modifying Is An Artform

via Roadkill

There are endless combinations of body kits and styling parts out there, but a real redneck wants to stand out from the crowd. Something anyone can buy in a store just won't cut it, besides, that fiberglass stuff is overpriced and too light for heavy duty use. Redneck mods will often be made from somewhat surprising materials, but that's what makes a car stand out!

8 No Garage Nearby? Call The Carpenter

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Sometimes acquiring the right part can be a hassle, and sometimes the dealership is just trying to rip you off. The true redneck solution to this is, of course, to use their ingenuity and repurpose materials that you normally wouldn't find on a car. Like an old window that's been secured to the door using foam.

7 Rolling Coal Is A Human Right

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Where's the harm in blowing black smoke everywhere you go? And even if it should turn out to be slightly harmful to people's health and the environment, it's still a free country and anyone who doesn't like it is free to go stand somewhere else! Besides, it just looks cool. Honestly though, we totally approve of this when passing slow bicyclists who block the road.

6 Every Pickup Needs A Lift

via Cnet

Because driving a standard pickup just won't cut it when you're cutting through the forests and driving across fields, trying to escape the law as you're delivering moonshine around the county. That's just common sense, and anyone driving a stock truck is just asking to get into trouble with the law.

5 ...As Do Some Cars

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To most of us, raising the suspension of a sports car might seem peculiar, even downright weird. But in redneck country, it makes perfect sense. Sports cars offer style and performance, but they're not the most practical when you want to go hunting or driving through mud pits, this easily solves that problem.

4 Truck Beds Make For Perfect Pools

via Wide open eats

Rednecks love their pickup trucks, as does the rest of the country — in 2018 the top three best-selling vehicles in the US were all pickups. So it was only a matter of time before someone would turn the truck bed into a swimming pool. Mark Cuban invested $100,000 in a guy from Arkansas who showed up on Shark Tank with a pool liner for truck beds.

3 Elbow Wheels Are A Sensible Mod

via Texan Wire Wheels

These ridiculous wheels are not a redneck exclusive - they can be found all over the south, perhaps because they're made by a company called Texan Wire Wheels? That still doesn't make them cool though. At best they're silly, but most likely they're dangerous to other road users and shouldn't be fitted to any vehicle - whether owned by a redneck or not.

2 Trailers Are For Living In, Not Hauling Stuff

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Bordering more towards the white trash end of the redneck scale, you'll find those who would never use a trailer to move things. After all, you should treat a person's home with respect. Besides, something small, like a boat or a motorcycle, easily fits into the trunk of any car.

1 There's Always Room For One More

via Turning Managers Into Leaders

There's no such thing as "no more room" in redneck world. Just grab yourself a lawn chair and hop in the back of the pickup truck. Of course, if there are many people on the bed, certain luxuries need to be sacrificed. That means no chairs, and people being stacked on top of each other.

Sources: Jalopnik, Team Jimmy Joe, Autowise, Autoevolution

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