If there’s anything that I have learned, it is that no matter what generation it is, teenagers will ALWAYS be teenagers.
I’m pretty happy that unlike teenagers nowadays, I didn’t have social media websiteslike Twitter when I was growing up. Back in the ‘90s, I’m SURE I would have posted some seriously awful photos from my teeny bopper Hanson fan years, and later when I transitioned to the emo phase when I got into the My Chemical Romance fandom.
I really don’t think anyone would want to see my 13-year-old self proudly posing in her Hanson shirt with bell bottom jeans or my emo phase where I dressed up as the character Helena from My Chemical Romance’s hit music video for Halloween. I had that really pale face powder that made me look like Casper the Friendly Ghost instead of the graceful undead dancer.
I kept most of my teen angst on lockdown in a journal or later on in a locked blog on LiveJournal, unlike kids today that are SUPER PUBLIC and SUPER AWKWARD with their breakup posts online. We're embarrassed for the teens mentioned below. Here’s to teenaged drama being one constant in this universe!
23 My Chemical Romance Is Suing To Get Their Look Back
Every teenager goes through their gothic/punk rock and emo phase; I went through mine when My Chemical Romance was at their height of popularity. I'm pretty sure there are still photos floating around somewhere of one Halloween where I dressed up as “Helena” from the iconic MCR music video, complete with the black dress and uber pale face paint.
Let me tell you, it was a VERY interesting look considering the fact that I’m mostly Italian-American and have olive skin. Thank goodness after my love for My Chemical Romance faded, I hauled off to the MAC store and begged for help in finding a foundation that actually matched my skin tone.
Even at the height of my goth/emo phase, I was NEVER as bad as this dude because I didn’t even ATTEMPT to try and do wacky makeup designs.
While I’ll grudgingly give him two thumbs up for having a steady hand (my attempt would look like a toddler colored my face with lipstick), I can’t help but shake my head at the faux scars on his lip.
It makes me wonder though, did he read some Norse mythology, see that Loki had his mouth sewn up and thought to himself “Now there’s a cool trend that I can emulate?” Either way, so edgy. Much emo. Wow.
22 The Only Thing Dangerous About Him Is His Hair
My dude, I don't want to break it to you, but the only thing “dangerous” about you is that hair.
The spiky blowout makes you look like you’re about to audition for Jersey Shore: Teenager Edition or a revival of the iconic YouTube video My New Haircut.
For those of you out there that were too young to hop onto the My New Haircut craze, please sit and let me regale you about the video that had every one of my peers in college CACKLING because our school was located in Staten Island and we all knew dudes like the one from the spoof.
Know Your Meme notes that My New Haircut was uploaded by Brett Tietjen on June 10, 2007 and quickly became a viral hit because it featured a parody of a Staten Island “bro” getting ready to go out for a night of bar-hopping by going to the gym to get “swole,” primping in front of the mirror and ending with the character screeching “Jagerbombs” in a club.
All this teen needs is a TON of hair gel and he’d be a walking, talking parody of the Mr. Broski character from the ’07 YouTube video. Oh yea, he’s dangerous all right — everyone’s in danger of laughing at his ego.
20 Listen For Jareth The Goblin King's Loud Cackling
How much do you want to bet that the minute this teenager steps outside that they are going to be dive-bombed by a VERY angry white owl, that is really Jareth the Goblin King in disguise?
I can easily imagine Jareth amusing himself by scrolling through hysterical photos on Imgur because he is entertained by the online shenanigans of modern-day mortals and getting SO MAD after seeing that some kid tried to steal his look.
Sorry kiddo, but the only person that can bring Jareth to life is the late and great David Bowie. No one else will ever be able to pull off the blonde mullet and extravagant makeup like he did when he starred in Labyrinth.
If anything, this teenager’s look appears to be a cross between Jareth and Heath Ledger’s version of the Joker from Chris Nolan’s The Dark Knight. That mullet is bad enough, but I can’t get over the fact that they smeared bright pink lipstick all over their face.
Being emo is no excuse for having poor makeup application skills; I’ve seen PLENTY of emo kids back in the day that could’ve easily gotten jobs working as makeup artists for Sephora or MAC. There's no excuse these days.
19 Ah, Young Love
Ah, young love — who DIDN’T have a ridiculous and incredibly overly dramatic relationship with one’s significant other? I didn’t date much in high school because the one I attended was a LITERAL APARTMENT BUILDING (no, I am not kidding), and there was like, 20 kids in my class, but I watched some of my friends go through breakups and makeups that were truly worthy of winning the Oscar for Best Movie.
If it wasn’t for the spelling mistakes that make me want to message these two kiddos a link for how to use spell-check on their Smartphones, laptops, and tablets, this exchange between two former lovebirds could be a serious contender for the Oscars.
The guy is truly a dunderhead. I’ll give the lass some major kudos for ditching this dude to the curb after he hurt her.
I wish I could reach through the screen and chuck a clue-by-four at the guy she’s talking to though. He showed his immaturity when he claimed that his sneaking around “didn’t mean anything.” Oh honey, no. Just no.
I also snorted when he took her literally after she said “Don’t talk to me.” Talk about digging the hole deeper, jeez. Someone needs to sit him down for 101 Empathy and Compassion training before he breaks anymore hearts.
18 Cue Cheesy Music
Did anyone else take a look at this errr…enthusiastic collage and instantly get transported back to the memories of the time when Myspace ruled the social media scene, or was it just me?
This collage of the teen lovebirds looks EXACTLY like the cheesy photos couples used to post on Myspace. All these two need is tons of sparkly glitter font and some cheesy love song from Barry Manilow to autoplay and I’d feel like I was back in 2004. Good to know that some things never change from generation to generation. Instead of cheesy Myspace photos, now teens are posting cheesy photos on other social media platforms.
My inner grammar nerd did wince in pain when I saw that they misspelled the word “young” and I can only pray to the gods of spell check that some brave friend of theirs called them out on it.
Just wow, kiddos. Both of you had to have been daydreaming when they covered basic spelling in middle school. It’s a big, glaring mistake and I don’t know how their friends didn’t just burst out laughing when they were scrolling through IG and stumbled across this delightful collage. They have more willpower than I do, that’s for darn sure.
17 Time For Library Etiquette Lessons 101
It blows my mind that a college freshman, even one from 2015, has NO IDEA how libraries work and it makes my bookworm heart shrivel a little inside.
Back in the Stone Age (aka: the ‘90s for all the Generation Z-ers out there), my absolute FAVORITE pastime was to go to library after school or on the weekend. I used to spend HOURS reading American Girl books as a kid, and then later on I graduated to reading authors such as Ann M. Martin of The Baby Sitters’ Club fame and R.L. Stein, whose Fear Street saga novels gave me nightmares as a teenager because I was a wuss at that age.
My poor parents had to practically drag me out of the libraries kicking and screaming; I also faintly recall loving a book so much that I’d just keep renewing it over and over again because I just couldn’t wait to ask for it for Christmas.
It is pretty heartbreaking to learn that teens these days don’t grow up learning to appreciate the joys of going to the library, but I am shocked that their college didn’t enroll them in a Library 101 course. You’d think they would; guess they just dropped the ball.
16 Worst Christmas Gift Ever
Every fashionista on the Internet collectively groaned when they saw this t-shirt and started making plans to find this teenager and burn that ugly looking thing to the ground.
Only a teenaged boy would think it is the height of hilarity to get a t-shirt of his face made as a gag gift AND wear it. Anyone else would shove that thing into the back of the closet and wait for an appropriate amount of time to pass before ripping it to shreds or giving it to the poor.
Not this guy, though. Either he’s got a really warped sense of humor or his ego is the size of Texas.
I’m curious to know if he wore this on the weekend when none of his classmates could see him OR if he had the courage to wear it to school. If he wore it to class, I bet all of his friends probably passed out from laughing so hard, since it’s definitely a move that teenage boys would find funny; well, at least the ones I knew at that age. I'm pretty sure most of my guy friends when I was a teenager would’ve keeled over from laughing like a hyena if someone we knew busted into class wearing a shirt plastered with his face all over it.
15 Peak 2018 Photo
Many Baby Boomers like to rag on my generation (aka: the Millennials) for being “lazy layabouts,” but neither I nor any of my friends have ever had our laptops out AND our Smartphones out at the same time.
This is peak 2018 right here. Teens being bored while doing homework and instead of farting around online like everyone else, they decided to bust out their Smartphone and watch some reality television.
I don’t even know how they can stare at the tiny screen; that kind of thing irritates me. I personally prefer watching television shows or movies on my laptop or on my television. I find it too distracting to watch anything longer than a three-minute YouTube on my phone.
My, how the times have changed. When I was a teenager, I mostly slacked off by calling my friends on the phone to gossip about the latest drama in our schools or by curling up with a good book.
I didn’t get Internet until I was in the sixth grade, and since it was dial-up, I spent most of my time slacking off by chatting with my friends on AIM and surfing Geocities to find some really good Hanson fan sites.
14 Superman Is Side-Eying His Lame Photoshop Skills
Ahh, Generation-Z. Only guys that age would think it is OH-SO-ROMANTIC to hold up a sign where he’s bragging about having “swag.” If Henry Cavill’s Superman could see this photo, he’d be side-eying this kid SO HARD. Not only for bragging, but because of his god-awful Photoshop skills.
Someone needs to enroll him in Photoshop 101 when he goes back to school next year, just so he will not embarrass himself any further.
It is SO obvious that this guy Googled a picture of the Bulls baseball cap and tried to make it seem as if he owned it, but it’s easy to tell that he’s not actually wearing it on his head. I thought it was bad when I was a teenager and my friends and I used to pose with a cardboard cutout of Legolas Greenleaf from The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but this is even worse.
I can only hope that much like the way I wince at the memory of our foolishness for posing with a life-sized cutout of Legolas that this dude is embarrassed by his own arrogance when he hits his 30's.
Bless Tumblr’s detective skills for revealing his lack of Photoshop skills and uploading the picture for the rest of us to enjoy.
13 Ultimate Fangirl Edition
My jaw dropped when I saw this photo because holy crap, Batman... I won’t lie, when I was this girl’s age, my room was WALLPAPERED in posters of Hanson, the Moffatts, and the Backstreet Boys.
My best friend at the time and I used to spend HOURS writing hilarious fan-fiction where I was paired with Taylor Hanson while she was with Leonardo DiCaprio.
The four of us were gifted with the ability to transform into animals because the two of us had a crush on the actor that played Tobias from the Animorphs television show that was on Nickelodeon, and we had to save the world from dooming villains... Mainly Isaac Hanson (because we thought he was ugly at the time) and our annoying little sisters.
Oh, and did I mention that the villains worshipped a string bean goddess that gave them maleficent powers? We dubbed her Stringbeankini, and yes, we were really weird kids. I don’t even know where we came up with that one.
Even our weirdness at concocting a group of villains lead by an evil string bean goddess is nowhere near as weird as making a wedding dress and having a mock ceremony with a cardboard cutout of your favorite band member. Like wow, that’s just hella creepy.
12 Nurse, We Need A Cure For Selfie-Itis
I’m not sure what I’m more disgusted by... Is it the fact that this chick TOOK A SELFIE before going to the hospital? Or is it the fact that SEVEN PEOPLE ON HER FRIENDS LIST LIKED IT.
Just wow... And no one asked if she was okay? No one commented to find out WHY she was going to the hospital? Given the fact that there are no visible bruises or injuries makes me think that it was probably a pre-planned event, such as getting one’s tonsils removed. Although she does look a little old to be getting her tonsils removed, but what do I know? I am not a medical doctor.
I just know that I was 8 years old when I got mine taken out, along with my adenoids because I’d CONSTANTLY get sick with sore throats and sinus infections when I was a kid. I don’t really remember much of the surgery other than the fact that I was nervous and I started to count Power Rangers instead of the sheep they told me to count when they started giving me the anesthesia. Oh, and it was a real pain to eat because I had to be on a strict diet until I healed.
11 High Fashion Right Here
Out of all the things to do when one is a bored teenager, WHY pick shaving one’s eyebrow off?
When I was that age, I wrote stupid fan-fiction with my friends or caught up with my favorite book series such as Animorphs by K.A. Applegate or R.L. Stein’s Fear Street series. If I was REALLY bored and didn’t feel the need to read, I’d bust out my Walkman (yea, yea, I’m old) and listen to Hanson’s Middle of Nowhere on repeat.
Hair grows back pretty quickly, but this chick is in for a rude awakening when she goes to school the next day.
Kids that age can be rude and will relentlessly make fun of anyone that looks different; they are going to have a field day when they find out that she shaved off one eyebrow. Even if she draws it in with makeup, it’s still going to be obvious that it is liner and not real hair.
Girl, just do what every teenager in my generation used to do — pluck our eyebrows or play around with those at-home waxing kits. Just stay away from the Nair — that stuff hurts like the dickens and it’s not a good idea to put it so close to your eyes anyway.
10 She's Going To Need Ice To Heal That Burn
If there’s anything that has stayed the same from generation to generation, it is the fact that teenagers have the most dramatic breakups. Like I said before, I didn’t really date much at that age but I certainly watched many of my friends deal with their relationships and was their shoulder to cry on when things inevitably fell apart.
Back in my day, people would just break up with their significant others over AIM, which often led to a whole host of melodramatic and passive-aggressive away messages. Every so often, there would be some digs on the AIM/AOL public profiles, but that was about it. Nowadays, it’s a much more public spectacle thanks to the rise of social media websites.
I do feel a bit bad for the girl; it is immature to break up with someone by literally cropping them out of the photo and uploading it to IG with the hashtag “Transformation Tuesday” for literally EVERYONE to see. Teenagers aren’t exactly known for their maturity, but I feel like tossing a whole bag of ice at the ex-girlfriend since she just got roasted alive in front of all their friends. Talk about being cold-hearted, jeez!
9 They Never Prosper
Oh girl, no... Don’t try to publicly humiliate your boyfriend for sneaking around, just dump him and move on because there is NO guarantee that he won’t do the exact same thing again.
While I wish that she had just kicked him to the curb (literally), I will admit that this is a funny way to get revenge. It’s a bit immature and petty, but I did snicker when I saw what she had written on the sign. Her grin is giving me LIFE, by the way. She looks so pleased with herself.
The guy, on the other hand, looks a bit more sheepish.
I can only hope that the VERY public humiliation has taught him a very valuable lesson: do not sneak around on your partner when they think you're in a committed relationship.
Maybe all the weird looks, epic side-eyes, and taunts from the public will burn into his memory forever, so that way if he ever even THINKS about trying to two-time his girlfriend, he’ll recall this moment in time and be embarrassed into staying on the straight and narrow.
I can only hope that some bold young individual tossed some rotten fruit at him so that he REALLY got the message that it is NOT COOL to go behind your significant other’s back.
8 Time To Call The Ambulance
I’ve heard stories of people coming up with some pretty creative “prom-posals,” but this is just way too far. That poor guy must have been having a massive panic attack when the cop pulled him over. Imagine him sweating bullets in case he unknowingly ran a red light or something like that. Not cool, random teenaged girl, this is not cool at all.
There is a fine line between being creative in asking someone to prom and being mean; this girl took a flying leap over that line.
How did she even get the cop to comply, anyway? Did she just waltz into the police department one day and beg for help until one of them took pity on her by agreeing to pretend to arrest her crush? Or is one of her relatives a cop and has a warped sense of humor?
I’m honestly shocked that this guy agreed to go to prom with her; not many people would appreciate being pulled over for some stupid stunt. She is SO lucky that he didn’t reject her proposal, but perhaps he was afraid that if he said no, the cop would give him a death glare and troll him until he said yes.
7 Justin Bieber Is Composing A New Song
Two things struck me when I saw this photo: I want to tell this kid that he totally missed the emo music phase. There was a time when all of the guys would listen to depressing music and make themselves cry for quite a few years. That phase in musical history pretty much ended by 2010, at least in the mainstream and My Chemical Romance’s breakup in 2013 was the final nail in the coffin for that genre.
Second, this kid looks like the unholy combination of Justin Bieber and Aaron Carter.
He’d make a lot of money as a Justin impersonator, and wouldn’t even have time to miss this Emma chick since all the Justin fangirls would be duking it out to see who could date the guy that looks almost exactly like their idol.
Like, good on this dude for not being afraid to show his emotions and post a photo on your wall where he is obviously crying, but I can’t help but facepalm at how overly dramatic it is. I kind of want to gently nudge him into taking some music lessons, just like every other dude I knew at that age. This way, he could get all that teen angst out by writing their own songs.
6 All Hail The WiFi
Thanks, anonymous commenter — you’re right in saying that this post is the epitome of teenage life in 2018. Instead of calling one’s parents or relatives that have a spare key, this teenager decided to complain on a social media website about the fact that they were locked out of her house.
Back in the ‘90s, we didn’t have this problem because a) we didn’t have WiFi or Smartphones and b) most parents felt comfortable hiding a spare key in a random location that only the kids knew.
I think there was only one time where I forgot where my parents had hidden the key and I had to call my mother (who was out running errands) to swing back around to open the door for me. Most of the time, I either brought my keys with me because I wanted to use my Spice Girls keychain or I memorized where the spare key was hidden so that I could just use that one instead.
I would have never been able to use the WiFi if we had it back in the ‘90s; when my parents FINALLY got broadband Internet and a router, they put everything in the basement and that caused SO many issues in terms of going online.
5 So Much Edge
My dude, I hate to break it to you, but the emo phase in music started to decline in popularity back in 2010, and most of the bands either broke up or faded out of the mainstream media consciousness by the time 2013.
I also snorted when he claimed that he wasn’t going to get any likes because he’s “different.” Dude, pretty much EVERY teenager EVER has felt like that, it’s not that unique of an emotion to feel at that age.
I know I often felt alienated when I was a teenager because I LOVED researching about the paranormal.
I grew up watching those cheesy A Haunting episodes on the Discovery Channel, but at that time I didn’t really know of anyone else my age that was a paranormal geek like me.
Needless to say, I was TOTALLY vindicated in my interests when shows like Ghost Hunters on SyFy and Paranormal State on A&E became really popular in the mainstream. With the latter television show, PRS actually had a very active forum and I used to post there ALL THE TIME when I was in college. It was actually pretty cool to chat with other nerds that were obsessed with the topic of the paranormal.
4 Felicity Smoak Laughs At Your Photoshop Skills
If Felicity Smoak was a real person, she’d burst out laughing if she ever stumbled across this terrible Photoshop job.
As for me, I cracked up because truly, some things never really change — even if it is from generation to generation. This reminds me of how when I was a teenager, the hip thing to do amongst forum users was to use the Dollz Mania website to create those stupid online dolls.
For all the youngins out there that did not have the joy of hopping onto the Dollz Mania bandwagon, it was this website where you could make customized cartoon dolls and I know SO MANY GIRLS MY AGE that would make one with an “angel” outfit, complete with a halo with wings. Of course, right next to the “angel” was another doll with devil horns. This was usually accompanied by glittery animated text that said “angel” and “devil” or “good” and “bad.”
Thanks to the rise of programs like Photoshop and Gimp—plus all the apps that allow teens today to easily edit their photos before posting online—I guess now they took that trend and literally manipulate pictures to make it look as if they are surrounded by the flames of torture.
3 Anthony Bourdain And Gordon Ramsay Are Howling With Laughter Right Now
Someone REALLY needs to tweet this photo to Anthony Bourdain and Gordon Ramsay. I’m pretty sure that the former would just roll his eyes and facepalm at the teenagers being stupid while the latter would launch into an epic rant on Twitter.
Heck, Ramsay would probably start mocking @Kvlyl by pointing out that it takes absolutely NO SKILL for “bae” to toss some potato chips onto bread. He would be far more impressed if his significant other toiled away to cook him a three-course meal. Now that, you don't see everyday.
I mean, for all I know maybe he really likes eating potato chips with bread for lunch. If so, it’s sweet that his girlfriend quickly whipped up his favorite snack, but it's really not indicative of any culinary talent.
Technically, she didn’t cook a single thing because all she had to do was open a bag of potato chips, grab some pieces of Wonder Bread and scatter the chips onto the bottom piece of bread and voila! A potato chip sandwich was born.
I also don’t get how potato chips with white bread is considered tasty or filling; at least add some sour cream and onion dip for some kind of taste, jeez!
2 Someone's Pants Will Burst Into Flames Soon
As someone that does have a legitimate disability, I can’t help but throw some MAJOR side-eye whenever I see people like this immature teenager girl trying to pretend as if they have a disability in order to gain attention.
I had a few friends in high school that were diagnosed with dyslexia and my mother worked as a special education teacher, so I have a fair amount of knowledge of what this learning disability entails.
It it is SO much more than “ooo, the words are spinning or moving too fast for me to read.” TRUE dyslexia can affect someone’s spelling, ability to read fast (which is why this girl bragging that she can read fast in her thread is a HUGE red flag that she’s lying), pronouncing words if called upon to read out loud and understanding what is being read.
I’m glad that one of her friends subtly called her out on her big fat whopper; faking a disability is really hurtful to all of the people out there that actually suffer from one. I hope one of her parents spots this post and gives her a stern talking-to on why it is SO NOT COOL to claim a disability when they’re actually able-bodied.
1 A Post Written By George R.R. Martin
Did George R.R. Martin decide to take a break from working on The Winds of Winter and try to impersonate a stereotypical teenaged girl online? Because the line about “smiling for once,” when they are clearly NOT, surprisingly sounds like something he’d have one of his characters in A Song of Ice and Fire do as a joke.
This photo cracked me up because this teenager is clearly NOT smiling.
It honestly looks as if she decided to take a selfie when she was half asleep and didn’t realize that her laptop camera had already taken the photo of her. Or maybe she flopped miserably at attempting a grown-up “sultry” smile.
Jokes aside, this post would be perfect if a museum decided to put up an exhibit about the quintessential teenaged experience. Even I remember despising my smile at this age; I thought it made my cheeks too big and I loathed showing off my braces, so most of my photos of my teenaged years feature me with a tiny smile or a neutral expression.
Thank goodness we didn’t have social media websites when I was growing up. Unless you came over to my house and saw all the photos my parents proudly displayed on the shelf, no one ever saw those godawful pictures.
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