Relationships are both wonderful and incredibly stressful at the same time. Some couples are able to work through their issues and come to a happy compromise, while others break up and hold grudges against each other forever. When couples get together, their hope is the relationship will withstand the test of time, but the unfortunate truth is "forever" isn't always a guarantee. How can a girl tell if her relationship is going to last and what are the signs it's doomed?
While the signs aren't always easy to catch, there are still many things she should be looking for. By paying attention and reading the signs, she can tell if her man is in it to win it or if he's slipping away. One of the best ways a girl can tell what's going through his mind is to really listen when he's talking to her. He'll drop hints unconsciously at first, but as he builds up the courage to break things off, his meaning will be more obvious.
If there's any confusion about what she should be listening for, here are the 20 things he'll say if he's hinting that he wants to break up with her.
20 'I'm busy'
While a guy with plans isn't entirely unusual or can even be considered a bad thing, it's important to note the difference between a man who is never available and one who sometimes already has plans. If she's constantly trying to hang out with him but he's always saying he's busy, he's probably just distancing himself from her. He doesn't want to be around her and he's likely hoping she'll take the hint and stop calling and texting him.
He's too nice to ghost her and too bad at confrontation to just admit things are over. If he's always "busy," he's likely hinting at a breakup.
19 'It's Them Or Me'
If he's trying to make her choose between dating him and having friends, he's a no-good jerk. He's trying to make her choose which is more important - him or her group of friends. No good guy would ever put his girlfriend in this kind of position. It's a form of manipulation and he's banking on her going with what her heart says, instead of doing what her brain says.
If he ever tries to pit her against her friends like this, he's really just showing that he's willing to give her up at the drop of a hat. He doesn't care if she's around and by putting her on the spot, he's hoping she'll choose to leave on her own.
18 'I Don't Care'
Sometimes a girl just wants to vent! When she tries to talk to him and he just looks at her and says, "I don't care," that's her cue that he's likely saying a lot more than he doesn't care about the conversation. He's likely saying he doesn't care about the relationship as a whole. He just wants to have a good time doing his own thing. Whatever his girlfriend has to say about life or her feelings is a bore! He has better things to do than listen to her try to talk to him all the time.
As soon as he stops caring about the little things, it's only a matter of time before he fully stops caring about the relationship as a whole.
17 'I Just Want To Hang With The Guys'
There's nothing wrong with a man who wants to hang out with his friends every now and then. A guys' night out is a healthy part of any relationship, but what isn't healthy is when he's always making his friends a priority. If he's hanging out with them five nights a week and is busy the other two, then he's definitely trying to tell her something.
No man in a healthy, loving relationship is more interested in hanging out with other guys than he is in hanging out with his lady. The only reason he'd be more inclined to be with them is if he's planning on breaking things off with her.
16 Not Saying Anything At All
This one should be pretty obvious. If a guy ghosts a girl for a while, whether it's a few days or a few weeks, he's definitely telling her the relationship has either reached its conclusion or is pretty close to ending. If he habitually ghosts his girl for a few days or a few weeks at a time, he's telling her she's not important enough to remain an active part of his life.
He doesn't want her to know what he's up to and he doesn't care about what's going on in her life, so radio silence is his way of hinting it's over.
15 'I Don't Feel Like Cuddling'
When a man loves someone, he'll want to cuddle with them. If he's not the touchy-feely type, he's still willing to give in to cuddles every now and then because his partner's feelings matter to him. If all he has to do is cuddle for a few minutes every day to keep his partner's spirits up, then he's absolutely going to do it. The reason why he wouldn't?
Either his partner's got a serious contagious illness or he genuinely doesn't care about their feelings. He's hinting things are over when he backs off physically and he's hoping they'll bring it up before he has to.
14 'I Don't Want To Go Anywhere'
When a guy says he "doesn't want to go anywhere," what he's really saying is he doesn't want to go anywhere with her. She's wanting to hang out with her man, like any other normal girlfriend would want to do, but he'd rather do his own thing. He might genuinely not want to go out some nights, but if he's like this every time she asks, there's no denying the pattern.
He might be trying to make her feel dissatisfied with the relationship so when he eventually gets around to breaking up with her it won't feel so bad, but all he's really doing is playing a really messed-up game.
13 'Leave Me Alone'
Sometimes a guy just needs some space, and sometimes he really wants to distance himself from his girlfriend. When he tells her to leave him alone, he could genuinely need some time to sort through his thoughts. Unfortunately, guys who persistently tell their girls to leave them alone aren't emo - they're avoiding them.
Instead of saying he's losing interest, he plays this game where he drops really obvious hints and she's supposed to figure it out and walk away from the relationship without making waves. Here's the thing, guys: that's not how people work. If a guy wants to break up with his girl, he should at least give her enough respect to make his intentions clear.
12 He Initiates Arguments Often
Arguments are normal for all relationships, even the healthy ones. What isn't okay is when he's constantly initiating an argument over the same old thing or several small things. Is he even happy? If he's got so much to complain about, why is he still in the relationship?
Rather than telling her he can't handle the way they are together, he creates an unnecessary amount of drama in the hopes that she breaks up with him, thus making her the "bad guy" in the relationship. If she's smart, she'll either talk through the issues he keeps bringing up or she'll make them both happy by leaving him.
11 'Don't Worry About [Insert Girl's Name Here]'
Bottom line: If a guy feels the need to tell his girl not to worry about another girl, odds are she's got plenty to worry about. Why would he bother to say anything about another woman unless he was attracted to her?
This might sound like a crazy thing some super jealous woman thought up, and that does make a certain amount of sense, but look at it this way: When a man is in love with his partner, he'll go out of his way to make her feel loved. He won't bother telling her not to worry about other women because he's already made it clear she's the only one for him.
If his eyes are wandering and he's trying to tell her not to worry, she's got a ton to worry about.
10 'I'll Do What I Want'
Whoa! That's passive-aggressive! When a man doesn't leave any room for compromise, he's trying to assert his authority over his girlfriend. He's thinking if he's tough with her, she'll yield and won't put up any kind of fight. Obviously, he's got a lot to learn about how relationships work! Any man who starts giving orders and casually casting aside her feelings with statements that don't allow an inch of compromise is not only a huge jerk but also pushing the boundaries.
Either he's trying to change the dynamics of the relationship to put himself in the seat of power or he's giving her a reason to want to break up. Either way, a breakup is exactly what he deserves.
9 'It Doesn't Matter' - But It's Kind Of A Big Deal
When a man says "It doesn't matter," what he really means is it doesn't matter - to him. He's not considering how the situation makes his girlfriend feel and he doesn't understand why she's so upset. Sometimes guys genuinely don't understand why something might make her feel upset but any guy who loves his woman will understand that she doesn't like it so he'll at least sympathize with her.
When he refuses to consider her point of view, he's basically dropping hints that he doesn't care about her feelings. Once he's stopped caring, there's no point in continuing the relationship, is there?
8 'I'm Busy With Work'
Men and women both really do get busy with work. Depending on their jobs, there are certain times of the day, of the week, or even of the year that keep them busy from sunrise to sunset. What matters, however, is that even when they're in the middle of a stressful time with their jobs, anyone in love would at least make a little time for their SO.
If he's always busy and his excuse is always work, consider what kind of job he has. Is it legit or is he just making things up? Are his coworkers fine with making time to do what they want yet he's the only one suddenly too busy? If so, then he's definitely just coming up with an excuse to hint that the relationship is doomed.
7 'You Need Me'
Okay, first off, no woman needs her man! Any man who tries to tell her she needs him is just being full of himself. He's trying to make her feel vulnerable and that kind of toxic manipulation is a huge no-no for any relationship.
While some men use this line as a means of keeping her around when she wants to leave, some guys will take things to the next level and will try to make her entirely dependent on him so he can take advantage of her before he's ready to leave - this is especially true if she's got money or something else he can gain from her.
6 'No One Else Wants You'
Similarly to the previous line, any guy who tries to tell a woman no one else would want her is straight-up garbage. He's trying to get her to believe that he's the best thing in her life and the only one who could ever really love her. Obviously, manipulating someone to this degree is anything but love, but once a person is in this relationship in a big way, it's easier for them to truly believe everything they're told.
What he's really doing is keeping her around for as long as he wants her but the relationship is definitely doomed to come crashing down.
5 'It's None Of Your Business'
When two people are in a romantic relationship, everything is absolutely each other's business! Unless a birthday or special holiday is coming up, there should be no secrets between lovers. Any man who tries to push his girl out of his personal business is either up to no good or is simply done with the relationship.
Either way, she would do well to learn that this is a huge red flag. No healthy relationship can survive when one person wants to remain secretive all the time. If she's a smart girl, she'll see him for what he is: not to be trusted, and she'll dump him right away.
4 'Not Tonight'
Growing closer, emotionally and physically, is an important part of any relationship. Once that line has been crossed, there's really no going back, so if he's suddenly telling her tonight's not a good night to see her/let her visit him/cuddle up in front of a Netflix show, she's got a lot to worry about.
It's normal for a person to not want anything every now and then, but if it's continuous, he's trying to tell her he's losing interest in the relationship. Sometimes this behavior isn't even conscious - he might not even realize that he's distancing himself. The lack of closeness is just one of the many signs to keep an eye out for when a person worries their relationship is starting to go downhill.
3 'You're Gonna Wear That?'
Unless he was a stickler for fashion at the start of the relationship, there's no reason for him to suddenly develop a standard for his girlfriend's appearance. If she gets all dolled up for a night out and all he has are complaints, it's a huge red flag. He's not satisfied with her appearance and suddenly that matters more than how she feels. She was so confident and felt so pretty only a moment ago and he shattered that image of herself.
He's breaking down her confidence, not because he wants to hurt her but because he wants her to up her game - and no relationship can survive that kind of dysfunction.
2 'If You Don't X, Then Don't Bother Coming Over'
If he's only willing to hang out with her if she brings over his favorite food, he's using her. If he ever tells her to do something or she shouldn't bother hanging out with him, he's using her. If a guy is using a woman, it's obvious the relationship isn't going to last very long.
What's crazy is there are some guys who are like this from day one! They don't even recognize that it's wrong! What's worse is there are some women who are okay catering to their man and they come up with all kinds of excuses for this kind of behavior!
The bottom line is simple: he's willing to drop her like a hot potato if she doesn't deliver, so the relationship is doomed.
1 'We Need To Talk'
Those terrible words! These words have been the three that have never come to anything good! If a guy ever says, "We need to talk," it's for one of two reasons: either he's going to break up with his girl or he's playing a cruel prank because he knows exactly what those words mean. It's universal!
"We need to talk" might as well be the actual way people end relationships. Instead of apologizing or giving their reasons, they can just say, "We need to talk," drop the mic, and walk away. If she ever hears these words from his lips, he definitely wants to break up.